Hi again everyone! Here's another chapter. Thanks for the follows, favorites and reviews. Please review as I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thanks all! By the way how about that season finale? Jaw dropping wasn't it?

"Committing suicide is a crime, Dr. Black." That voice. Where have I heard that voice before? It's gentle but clearly male and so familiar. Yet, even though it's gentle there's still something sinister about it. "You escaped death but I promise you, it will come. You'll suffer first. I promise you'll suffer." Where is that voice coming from? I can't see a thing. Everything is shrouded in fog. Why? Where am I? The owner of the voice laughs in the most maniacal way and I want to run but I don't know to where because I can't see….

When I finally emerge from the nightmare, and that's exactly what it was, I am covered in sweat and shaking. I feel a hand close on my wrist and I am startled. I turn my head in that direction. Sitting there in the faux leather chair beside my bed is Dr. Ian Bickman. I'm surprised. Joshua told me that he was coming today but I never imagined that he would get here so early. Was it early?

"What time is it?" I ask sleepily. I wince as the words come out. Bick flew all the way back to the west coast to keep me company and relieve Joshua so that he can get back to his family, and that's what I open with? I instantly feel the flush of embarrassment creep into my cheeks. "I mean…I wasn't expecting you till later on in the afternoon." I amend still feeling stupid.

His laugh sounds tired but he shows no sign of offense, just exhaustion and I might be mistaken but….worry. "It's almost 8 am." His fingers slowly make their way in between mine and although I'm confused, I allow it; because just having him holding my hand is enough to send soothing sensations through my tense body. "Is that what you were told? That I was coming in the afternoon?" His eyes brighten a bit with mischief and I'm relieved to see it. "I told them I'd be here Saturday. I got here just after midnight. You were snoring away peacefully, so I left you to i—"

I let go of his hand and playfully smack him in the arm. "I don't snore." I insist. I really don't. If I had ever snored Will would have told me. My chest tightens at the thought of Will. Even though I left him to pursue a relationship with Bick, it doesn't make it any less hard. Will and I had been in an intense relationship for a long time and dissolving that kind of bond would leave one in pain for a long time. At least for me that's what had happened. From what I had heard, Will was now seeing someone else. How quickly someone can forget.

Bickman grins and snatches up my hand again and my focus is redirected back to him. I can't help but smile at him. But somehow he's different from the man I had an argument with at the Cube weeks earlier. I can't put my finger on the change just yet, but I know that it's a positive one.

"I know. I'm just making sure that you're paying attention." His grin suddenly turns and he's serious again. It's a good look for him, but today I'm terrified of it. He's going to cut straight to the punch and our little reunion will be over because I'm going to have to fight.

"Josh told me that you want nothing to do with the arrangements that I've made." His eyes harden in a way that I'm drawn in and I can't look away.

I do my best to match his appearance but I know that I already appear weak. I have enough injuries to provide that look for me. When I was finally clear headed, Joshua told me the damage was to the tune of: A fractured sternum, bruised heart, ruptured spleen, skull fracture and a shattered radius that has already required 2 surgeries. I had also undergone five blood transfusions while unconscious. I had nearly died and that was something Joshua continued to remind me of.

Last night Joshua had gone home to New York. It had been a huge surprise when Joshua told me but, Bickman is supposed to stay around until it's safe for me to travel, which should be in about a week but if he's going to be as hard on me as Josh has been I will send him home. I understand that I have done a horrible thing there is no use continually reminding me of it. I just want to move forward. I need to hear about my past mistakes as much as I need their supervision.

"He wasn't lying if that's what you're hoping." He doesn't respond and he stares at me expectantly, so I know that I'm free to continue uninterrupted. "Bick, I just want to go home and start over." I clench my jaw and give him, what I hope is a pointed stare. "I want to start over with everything."

He squeezes my hand and nods. "You don't get a redo button in life." He says and my heart sinks. "But with us there is." He hesitates for a second, his thumb moving in small circles along the top of my hand. "Is that what you want? We didn't break from any fault of your own. I was the one who stopped it before we could even really begin...because I just couldn't handle all the feelings that were evolving." He reminds me and I hear the remorse that floods his tone.

"Yes, it's what I want." I respond quietly. "But you need to understand something. I didn't jump because of our break." I assure him. "I had been having some huge issues lately and I just…I just didn't know how to handle them all, so I just fell to pieces."

For a long time he just stares down at our hands, like he's searching for some kind of answer. The silence is so thick though that I feel as if I might choke.

"Bick?" I finally press when the silence becomes too suffocating.

He looks up again and his eyes are lit with determination. Oh no here we go again. "This is why you should do some time in the Seattle." He insists. He's careful not to mention the word hospital and he's smart for it because hearing that word would undoubtedly cause me to lose my grip because I thought we had just reached a consensus. It's still not enough to diminish the fight in me. No not by a long shot.

I shake my head. "No psychiatric hospitals. I need to do this on my own. I honestly feel fine. Please I need you to understand why this won't happen again."

"Enlighten me then."

For the first time since the incident, I go into full detail about my jump. I tell him about all the emotions that had suddenly passed over me; the regret, the pain and the fear. Most importantly I tell him about how I didn't want to die. How I still don't want to die. It's true. Something during that jump had reset my mind setting and while I'm still bipolar, I'm pretty sure suicide is off the table. I survived that impossible jump and that was a gift that I couldn't underestimate. For a moment my mind drifts to my nightmare. I feel like there is something to it, something I am missing. I get this strong sense that I am supposed to remember something and it's important to my survival.

Before I can dwell on it any further, my mind is suddenly drawn back to Bickman as he presses his lips to mine. "Okay," he whispers as he pulls away from me. "I have two conditions though." I don't speak and he stares at me as if debating how he should tell me.

"Out with it, Bick."

"Number one: You will tell Owen."

"No!" I snap at him. "Are you insane? He'll fi—" Suddenly he presses his index finger to the tip of my nose and it clearly has the effect he wanted because when I fall silent he grins.

"I'm not finished. Don't interrupt me." He doesn't move his index finger from my nose and I get the feeling he's not going to until he finishes, so I wait and the dominating neurosurgeon clearly approves of this. I clench my jaw but I still don't speak. But if he thinks that I'm going to tell Owen he's wrong. I refuse to lose my job to this. Bipolar disorder will not take the thing that I worked too damn hard for. I won't let it. I refuse.

"Good. As I was saying; you are going to tell Owen because there's a cold, calculating, little psychiatrist who would love to beat you to the punch and she's been trying to for weeks now. Luckily for you I've been able to intercept all her attempts. This condition is for your sake."

Josh had mentioned that Bick hadn't seemed surprised when he had learned of my secret. I narrowed my eyes at him and he drops his fingers cueing my turn to speak. "You've known all this time, haven't you? How?"

He smiles that cocky smile of his that, though I won't ever admit it, makes my toes curl. I keep my thoughts focused as I wait for his answer. Damn him and his gorgeousness. It's no wonder he ca—Well so much for keeping my thoughts focused.

"Catherine, dear have you lost your ability to focus?" Shit! He had noticed and he's enjoying it too! I must have looked all glassy eyed and foolish, kind of like Carlotta around any man who would look her way.

"Sorry, had a bit of a pain spike." I respond in an attempt to save face and take away his satisfaction. But it's the wrong answer because he suddenly takes on a lot of concern.

"Want me to call a nurse?"

"No, it was a passing thing. I can handle it. Please answer my question."

He visibly relaxes in the chair he's sitting in. "Well, I spent too much time with you not to suspect something. You've been sleeping with a neurosurgeon, Cat. What did you expect?"

"Do you really pay that much attention to women? I always thought you were only zeroed in to their asses…..and did you just call me Cat?"

He grins "Touché. Okay, okay…." For a moment he looks embarrassed and he's searching for words. "Maybe I've been more keyed into you than I have ever been with other woman." His hand shoots to the back of his neck and he rubs it awkwardly. It's rare that Bickman is flustered and I find it incredibly sweet, and honestly it's gratifying to know that I did that to him. "I just don't know what it is about you." He closes his eyes and he seems to be fighting with himself like he wants to say more but he knows that he shouldn't. Finally he opens his eyes and cocky Bickman is back. "And yes, I called you Cat. Catherine is too formal for me, I'm trying something out. Sue me."

I smile and shake my head. It's all so absurd but what can I do? I just have to take it all in stride. I move back to his first condition and look him dead in the eyes. He's right Farrah is just waiting to fry me. "Okay." I saw. "I'll tell Owen but then I'm going to be out of a job. Are you going to pay my bills?" I'm playing this off as a joke but I find this all far from funny.

"Owen respects you too much to fire you over this. He knows you can do the job. You've been doing it as a person fighting bipolar all along. And yes I said fighting instead of suffering because you aren't a victim you are a fighter. If you were a victim you wouldn't be a world renowned neurologist right now." He gets up and leans down and kisses me again. My mind fogs up and for a moment I forget. Maybe that's his goal and I'm okay with that. But all too soon he pulls away, but remains standing. "If Owen tries to fire you—which he won't, I'll be in your corner." He won't tell me his plans but I know that he has something planned and sooner or later I may find out what those plans are.

This is all too much sweetness to handle. This has to be a dream. Bickman is expressing a side of himself that I've never dreamed of seeing. Maybe this is the side of him that volunteers at homeless shelters. "Okay, fine what's condition number two?" I shut my eyes to ward off a building headache.

"You and I are getting a new apartment as soon as we get back to New York."

My eyes snap open and I stare at him. He says this so nonchalantly but I know this can't be so simple for him. Dr. Ian Bickman is not the type of guy to settle into an apartment. He sure as hell is not the type to settle in an apartment with a woman that he quite possibly is romantically interested in. This is a massive step. This could only be a joke. Sometime soon he's going to break out into a grin. But he never does. He stays silent, his eyes burn with sincerity. "Bick, when you make a joke you aren't supposed to look so damned serious."

"It's not a joke." He says after a beat. "You were right. It's time that I open myself to new things. It's a win-win situation here. You get a new place and I get a new place." I know his other reason is that he'll be able to keep an eye on me but he won't say it.

"I don't need a babysitter."

"No you don't, but that doesn't change the fact that this could be a good arrangement. Just consider it. There's a nice place overlooking the Hudson that I think you'll like. Or we can look into something else, but I don't think that going back to your old apartment is wise when you're trying to make a change..."

I inhale and exhale shakily. He has a very valid point and this could be good for us. While I don't want to admit it, at this point I'm so scared of myself that I just don't want to be alone. And Bick is going to need help transitioning from his life in hotel rooms to life in an apartment some apartments in New York are not that much different.

"Okay."

"Really?" The shock on his face is adorable.

"Yeah let's do this."