Chapter 3

There were God awful sounds all around him... tormented and twisted... throes of a nightmare.

Sam slowly opened his eyes but the sounds didn't fade like they were supposed to... they only seemed to get sharper, clearer, along with the pounding in his head.

A chilling coldness felt like it had pierced through his skin and crept into his bones and it dawned on him that he was lying on the ground.

The young hunter blinked trying to clear his aching head as well as the leaching greyness around him but the pain and dullness held on like they belonged as his brain tried to kick start into action. He slowly looked around as he pushed himself up from the ground, sitting awkwardly with his legs folded almost underneath his body, trying to shield himself from the bitter air.

"You won't escape so easily this time... Joshua is not here to save you."

Sam turned quickly to face the voice, heart thudding in his chest with recognition. "Zachariah."

"Glad you could join me Sam... I gotta tell you that I am so looking forward to this. It's been such a long time since I had an actual body to play with… I mean there's only so much you can do to a soul… but you… oh we're gonna have so much fun and all in the name of God."

"I don't understand… where am I? I'm still alive… I can't be in… am I still… alive?"

The young hunter touched fingers to his head and winced, noticing the drying blood on his skin as he moved his hand away. A memory surfacing of the motel room and being attacked as he looked around quickly, relieved to see he was alone.

He hoped Dean was safe.

"Oh yes very much Sam. Don't you remember? I mean it was a pretty big moment when your brother… your own flesh and blood practically disowned you. Throwing that amulet away really showed you how much your brother hates you … I must remember to thank Dean next time I see him for making this so much easier."

"If I'm not in heaven where… where am I?" Sam tried not to react to the cruel taunts, the clench of his fists and the tightening of his jaw the only visible signs of his inner heartbreak as he remembered all too clearly watching Dean walk away from him out the door.

"You're in Purgatory Sam… and this is my territory now so buckle up! God may have granted you salvation for now but consider me one of heaven's gatekeepers if you will… and I think you're still far too tainted to enter through those pearly gates. I mean we do have our standards and besides… I don't think Lucifer has quite finished with you yet. "

"Purgatory? So if I'm here, I can't say yes... and there's no Apocalypse? No one else will get hurt and... and I can still be saved?"

"I guess you can Sam, if you really want to be saved… Lucifer's not such a bad guy y'know. He probably understands you more than Dean ever will."

"You're an angel, why are you saying this to me? Why didn't you just wait till I was dead and buried to cleanse my soul?"

" Oh I just couldn't wait around any longer to hear a Winchester scream after all the trouble you've caused me... I can't exactly rely on you to make the right decision anymore now can I? Y'know Dante had quite the romantic version of this place… although we did edit his version of events… but between you and me I think this will give you a whole new perspective on the issue of suffering and torment."

"What are you waiting for then… I don't need the lecture or the history lesson… I know what I've done… what I deserve. If this will stop the end of the world… save… everyone."

"What? No pleading or begging or plaintive cries for your brother?"

Sam was scared, terrified… but if he did this then Dean wouldn't have to say yes to Michael and Lucifer wouldn't get his vessel... the final battle would never happen and lives would be saved. Sam needed to make amends...

We'll find another way. We can still stop this Dean.

... and here was his chance.

"No." Sam shook his head slowly, eyes downcast but not really seeing anything in front of him. "My brother and I both know I caused all of this and… and at least I can't hurt anyone else here... I can't hurt Dean anymore than I have… if this will stop me saying yes to Lucifer then… then it's the right thing even if it means you win."

"Oh my heart breaks… not! Just because you think you deserve it doesn't mean you're gonna suffer any less… this is my party now Sam and I intend to live it up big."

Zachariah snapped his fingers and Sam suddenly found himself naked and shackled. A tight iron collar pressed around his neck that was linked to heavy metal chains around his wrists and ankles and a metal bit inside his mouth that held his tongue down and cut across the sides of his mouth.

"You'll thank me one day Sam when the world grows cold and stops turning... you might not remember who you once were but when your spirit is broken and you accept your fate... live up to your potential... you can finally be at peace. It's a shame though that Dean will never know how you really feel about him… I would have paid for a ticket to watch that little scene play out."

Zachariah walked forward and bent down level with Sam's face, hand cupping underneath the younger boy's jaw to tilt his head up. "Oh and I never said this would stop Lucifer Sam… I am after all a member of the winning team."

The last thing Sam heard was the laughter of the archangel and the snap of his fingers before incomprehensible agony obliterated everything.

If Sam had any power of thought left he would have wondered how he could scream so loudly with a metal gag in his mouth.

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The flames licked and bit at his feet then climbed steadily up his calves searing flesh and making the metal chains burn white hot, melting through his skin. Sam could barely move his body, he couldn't look down or shift away from the blistering heat that now wound up past his knees and caressed his thighs, turning his skin blood raw then charcoal black.

Screaming in panic, the sound garbled and raw as Sam's voice broke around the metal gag, all the young boy could do was writhe uncontrollably and futilely.

Tears of agony poured from his eyes as he felt his flesh being eaten by the unrelenting flames. The overpowering smell of his own burning body assaulted his senses and he could almost taste the acrid stench.

He shook with a pain so intense it went beyond comprehension as the yellow white fire now touched and scorched his balls and penis, igniting hair and engulfing his lower body and still reaching up, hungry for more. His saliva and tears evaporated as the flames wrapped around his torso and every tortured breath drew boiling heat into his lungs as his eyes rolled back in his head, unseeing.

The choking, pitiful sounds that came from his mouth now were wet with sizzling blood as the metal bit burnt his mouth and through his tongue. Sam had a glimpse of understanding in his mind that he was dying and this wouldn't last because no one could withstand this agony and remain conscious. No one could live through this much suffering and physical damage.

Except he did.

On and on and on...

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Sam gasped in a harsh loud breath as the devouring flames were suddenly gone and he could feel the cold metal against his skin. Struggling to sit up, chains pulling and pinching his skin, tightening around his neck, he frowned in confusion at the state of his body.

He was shaking uncontrollably as the agony echoed through his mind and body… he remembered it all and was still traumatised with shock.

"Oh don't be disappointed there Sam… I can't very well burn you to death in the flames of purification now can I? Although I have heard they hurt like a bitch… and everlasting awareness is not something to underestimate… but then I think you're beginning to get that now aren't you?"

Zachariah's oily chuckle made the younger boy whimper. Sam tried to understand what was happening to him as he continued to shake with violent tremors. His skin was unmarked except for a trail of blood that dripped down his chest and he wondered if he had bitten right through his tongue.

Realisation began to slide over Sam like an icy blanket, not all comforting even after the fiery torture he had endured, smothering his hope and freezing terror in his heart… he'd never escape from this place... this was his fate.

"I'm going to give you over to your journeykeeper Taharial who will oversee your trials and report to me on your progress. Each suffering will last forty days and then Taharial will cleanse you in the healing fire for forty days before a new journey commences. You will not speak and have no need to eat or drink in this realm although he may permit you to rest. The chains will stay on you and if you fail any test or stray from your path, you will be punished Sam."

As he tried to understand his fate, all Sam could think about was Dean. All he wanted in this moment of judgement was to see his brother again and explain how he really felt... beg Dean to understand… beg Dean not to hate him... beg Dean to hold him close...

... beg Dean to forgive him.

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