This drabble is based on the idea of an older, past puberty Ritsuka beginning to become aware of his sexual feelings towards Soubi.
You see, when Soubi gets really close to me, my heartbeat starts to seem extra loud.
When I first met that bastard, I had been a bit younger. I hadn't even started gone through puberty yet. Well, actually, looking at him now from where I'm sitting, I'm still not that tall. I'm a whole lot shorter than Seimei was. Seimei was...
Whatever. Anyway, my point was that I've been feeling funny around Soubi. Which is weird because he was pretty much a pedophile when I was twelve. He could wait until I was older. Like hell I would actually like him, though!
Ritsuka put down his pen, reading over that last sentence. It didn't seem right. Quickly, his eyes flickered over to take in the sight of Soubi.. He was a ghost, pale skin and blonde hair melding into the bare wall as if he was translucent. In his fingers he played with a cigarette like he was holding one of the paintbrush's he was so familiar with. Eyes connecting for a moment, the boy tossed his gaze down at his paper, ears burning along with his cheeks. Slowly and deliberately, he crossed the last line of his journal entry out.
That's not important.
I've realized a while ago...Soubi is very...
"What are you writing, Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, stopping the boy in his tracks. Mumbling something incoherent, Ritsuka closed the notebook he was writing in and shoved it between his mattress and the wall.
"None of your business," He stated, tossing the pen unto his computer desk lazily. There's no way I could tell you I think I'm gay.
Soubi sat down next to Ritsuka on the bed, sinking the mattress down. Despite the teenagers most desperate attempts, his cheeks turned a beautiful shade of pink. "Ritsuka, may I kiss you?"
For a moment, the air stilled.
"N-no."
If I told you how much I wanted you to kiss me, would you be happy? Surprised? Or would you push me away?
Would you come to hate me, like Mother?
I want to kiss you.
You see, lately when you're around me, Soubi, my heartbeat starts to seem extra loud...