For You, I'll Risk It All Chapter 3: Colliding, a glee fanfic

A/N: Spoilers for 3x14 "On My Way." Listen to Joanna Pacitti's "Collide" (which she actually wrote. I do not own this song) because it's fantastic. Also, for the song that describes Sam's feelings about getting dumped, listen to "Impossible" by Shontelle and "Why Can't I?" by Liz Phair

Bigger: Yes, young love indeed lol

Rain: Psh, qurl, you don't gotta worry xD I'm glad you liked the emotion of the chapter.

I was June and you were my Johnny Cash
Never one without the other, we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you
I put those records on, whoa

But in another life, I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises, be us against the world
In another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

All this money can't buy me a time machine, no
Can't replace you with a million rings, no
I should have told you what you meant to me, whoa
'Cause now I pay the price

Katy Perry — The One That Got Away

Regionals in McKinley's auditorium. Sam fought viciously for a solo against Rachel and ultimately won, thanks to the theme. "Inspiration." Samantha Devine was 'inspiration objectified,' according to Finn. She examined her reflection in the mirror, taking in her black silk choir dress. Rachel insisted on gold sashes, which washed out just about everyone but her. Nothing but the best for Rachel freaking Berry.

"You're not gonna let anyone ruin this for you, Samantha," she told herself. This was her moment. Karofsky had tried to commit suicide because of bullying, Samantha had been shot because of bullying. If anyone could deliver the message of inspiration, it was her. "This is my moment."

She played with the ends of her new curls, fixing the gold headband in her hair.

"You look great," a quiet voice came from the doorway. Sam looked over and saw Rachel leaning against it, gnawing on her lip apprehensively. "And um, you picked a good song for the solo. I know you're going to help us win."

"Thank you," she replied. She stood up from her stool after applying the rest of her sparkly lip gloss and set the tube down. "We're going to win this."

"Look, I know you're upset with me because of earlier on in the year..." Rachel started to say. Sam narrowed her eyes, gritting her teeth. "And it's my fault. I acknowledge that."

"You knew nothing was going on between me and Jesse, yet you decided to screw me over anyways. That's what I don't get, Rachel. I was nothing but nice to you, I stood up for you against Santana and Quinn and you decided to completely shit on that. When you stuck your nose where it didn't belong, it meant that I wasn't anything to you. And for you to rub your engagement in my face like I'm some girl Finn screwed around with...that means you didn't have any respect for me. That's what pisses me off. I'll forgive you someday, but that day isn't today," she informed her when her former friend was done. She shoved past Rachel in time for the Troubletones to finish their cover of Kelly Clarkson.

The lights dimmed and the opening for 'Titanium' started. Sam strutted out on the stage, lowering her head and resting her hands behind her back. She slowly counted to three before lifting her head and singing.

You shouted out, but I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud, not saying much
I'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet
Shoot me down, but I get up

She turned to hear Rachel, Jana, Quinn and Santana join in with a harmony. A smile cracked on her lips when Santana winked at her.

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium

Cut me down, but it's you who have further to fall
Ghost town and haunted love
Raise your voice
Sticks and stones may break my bones
I'm talking loud, not saying much

Stone-hard, machine gun
Fired at the ones who run
Stone-hard, those bulletproof guns

You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium
I am titanium

Sam knew when the song died down that she hit the last note with perfection. The audience roared in applause and she received a standing ovation. She grabbed Quinn's and Jana's hands and ran off the stage. The sound of the applause echoed backstage and she was greeted with a massive hug from Orion and Rory.

When the New Directions won Regionals, Sam felt herself being pulled to the front of the room by Jana.

"We've put it to a vote, which was once again unanimous. Our new MVP of the season is Miss Samantha Devine!" Mr. Schue said, gesturing to her. Sam accepted the little trophy with a shy smile. "I think we can definitely chalk this up to one major win for the New Directions. We took that theme and we made it our anthem once more."

"I gotta say it's kind of ironic that Thing 1 sang a song about being bulletproof when she's been shot before," Orion piped up from the front row. Jana swatted his arm playfully, her brown eyes sparkling teasingly. "But you earned it, girl."

"Thanks, Rio. You kind of nailed your solo, too," Sam replied with a roll of her eyes.

Sam sat down on the couch at home, her fingers trailing over the strings. So far, she'd gotten down the first few lines of the first verse. She glanced at Mike McAllery perched on the piano bench, eyeing her closely.

"What do you think of this?" she asked, strumming out the first few notes of the song.

Something had to change, weighing on your mind
Something I don't know, that I can't describe
We're slipping, we're falling, we're fading fast, so fast
And everything's a mess, don't know where to start
Everything we knew almost broken apart

"It's really good," he replied. Sam chewed on the inside of her lip as she watched him.

Why couldn't she have been happy with Mike like she was in the middle of senior year? He had been damn near perfect to her, but her mind couldn't stop wandering to Finn. Mike was damn hot and had a real sense of humor, one that was similar to hers. He still had that dorky cuteness that made the majority of the girls swoon. In another world, they would have been perfect together.

But no, Finn remained in her thoughts. Seeing him threw her for a loop. He was dorky and cute and had those big puppy-dog eyes that made it nearly impossible for her to say no to him.

I'm willing to take it, to put it in the past

She sighed and leaned back against the couch. "I just wrote that off the top of my head," she said. Who knew? Maybe she'd be back in LA within the next couple of days. She jotted down the line and stared at the piece of paper blankly. With it being autumn, mangoes were out of season and she couldn't rely on it to, as Jesse put it, 'spark her muse.' "And now, I got nothing. I need to think of a chorus and then it's usually easy."

No, it's not, she thought. Nothing was ever easy.

Oh, it's easy, going out on Friday night, her mind hummed and then she shook her head. Quit singing that damn song, because then you'll start thinking about...

Dammit, she was thinking about Finn again. And those painful memories of senior year, how hurt she'd been when she found out he got back together with Rachel. She'd yanked off the necklace he'd given her as a welcome-home present and threw it at Rachel, storming out the door.

Sam would never admit it, but she had wanted him to come after her, to tell her it was a mistake. Somehow, her new song became the tune to Liz Phair's 'Why Can't I?' and she became increasingly frustrated.

A promise that we made underneath the sky
To never sleep alone

She tested the words, rolling them around in her mind. This could work. Becoming frustrated with how her life was going was good for her music.

"How could you?" her voice was a whisper as she stared up at him with glassy blue eyes. Finn felt his heart being stabbed as he watched her. He caused this and he betrayed the only girl who never did anything wrong to him. "I left Spain early so I could be with you and you..."

He betrayed Sam. She had every right to throw things and be upset. Hell, he wanted her to. He deserved it for leaving her for Rachel. Rachel had preyed on his insecurities, but it was just as much his fault as it was hers.

Then Sam faced her. "How could you? That whole 'best friends' thing was just a game for you?! How long did you wait before going after him?" she snarled.

Rachel sat, stunned. She couldn't say anything. Sam gripped the silver chain of the necklace Finn had given her and ripped it off her neck, throwing it at Rachel.

"Keep it, it's obviously yours."

With that, she stormed out the door in tears.

Finn stood on the front porch, staring at the daunting red door before him. The last time he'd been there, he had come to say goodbye to her before she left for LA with Puck.

Now he was seeing her again. The front door opened and Mike McAllery sauntered out. Sam stood barefoot in the foyer, looking very much like the girl Finn had known and loved. She wore a pair of loose-fitting boot-cut jeans and a faceless black T-shirt, her dark hair pulled back in a messy pony-tail. Her pale face lacked makeup, which washed out most girls, but Finn had always loved the natural look on her. Those freckles always made her look so sweet and girly.

Those pale blue eyes met Finn's browns and she groaned. "I forgot. Come on in and I'll be ready in about twenty minutes," she told him.

"What you're wearing is fine," he commented. She wrinkled her nose and shook her head.

"I was just working on my song. I got the first verse done and some of the second; I can't seem to get the chorus yet," she explained. The house looked exactly the same as it had the last time he had been in there.

It was mysteriously void of her parents. Patrick and Adrienne had nearly divorced last year when she cheated on him, but he took her back and forgave her.

"Where are your parents? I'm kind of worried your dad might kill me," he commented. She snorted.

"Burt majorly saved his ass last year. There's no way on God's vast Earth that Daddy would do anything to hurt you in any way. They're at a party at the St. James's, anyways. You asking me to hang out tonight gave me an out," she replied.

What was he thinking? Sam wasn't just some girl visiting from college. She was a professional singer on holiday to write her next biggest hit. What did he expect to happen? That when they saw each other, they would just rekindle their relationship and the nightmare that was senior year would be forgotten? She was only in town for a week. At the end of the week, she would go back to LA and live the lifestyle she'd been living since arriving there. Even if she wanted him back, which was doubtful, there was that long distance between them to the tune of two thousand miles.

"Isn't Jesse the one who usually helps you?" he asked. She grinned at him sheepishly before rubbing the back of her neck.

"He and I haven't talked much since the whole debacle of last year," she admitted. That was surprising. The two of them had always seemed close; Sam had always called Jesse one of her brothers. "So, Mike's been pretty much no help at all, except to tell me my song's good."

"I'm sure it is," he commented, taking his place on the couch. There was a disturbing lack of Shasta, which saddened him. Finn loved Shasta. While Sam was upstairs, his gaze dropped on a few sheets of paper with words scrawled on it, along with notes on it. This was her new song.

Something had to change, weighing on your mind
Something I don't know, that I can't describe
We're slipping, we're falling, we're fading fast, so fast
And everything's a mess, don't know where to start
Everything we knew almost broken apart
I'm willing to take it, to put it in the past

It was genius. He tested out the lyrics under his breath, marveling at it. With every song, she always sounded so vulnerable, like all her emotions were laid bare. Vulnerability was always her strong suit.

"Like it?" she asked from the doorway. She had a pair of Converses, a little bit of makeup on, and her coat draped over her arm.

"This is the song you started to write after we broke up," he stated quietly. Sam pursed her lips and nodded.

"'Together Without You' was my angry song. This song, the unnamed one...it helped me move forward," she explained. Finn looked back down at the sheet to see different words jotted down across. One phrase jumped out at him.

So, don't leave, still a light inside
Telling me all we need is time

"Can I hear it?" he requested. She smiled and sat down on the couch, picking up her guitar from the stand in the corner. Her fingers plucked at the strings, her voice soft and sweet. When she approached the end of that little phrase he liked, she stopped.

Just breathe, put your hand in mine
Look into my eyes, let it all collide, collide, collide
Put your hand in mine, look into my eyes
All we need is time

A promise that we made underneath the sky
To never sleep alone

"That's it," she said. "After that, I'm totally just...stuck."

Finn studied the words intently. "What about 'to never say goodbye' added on to it?" he suggested. Sam strummed out the chords, testing out the lyrics.

Remember, forever is worth the fight, that's right

"It usually comes so easy to me after I get through writer's block," she said. She flipped through different pages of different songs.

And so I'll take the pain and you're the reason why
I'm never giving up on how I live my life, a life with you, oh, oh

"Samantha Devine...unplugged," he joked. She laughed and strummed out the chords.

So, don't leave, still a light inside
Telling me all we need is time
Just breathe, put your hand in mine
Look into my eyes, let it all collide, collide, collide
Put your hand in mine, look into my eyes
All we need is time

"I think you just helped me write a song," she remarked.