A/N: This fic is about Remus Lupin, my favorite marauder. Go Moony! Not much else to say, lol. I do know, however, that the fourth installment will be about Ginny. Anyway…

Diary of a Sad Werewolf

Remus Lupin sat at the table in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, thinking, as he usually did.

Everything was in jumbles. More so than when Sirius had died, and that was saying something.

With Albus Dumbledore dead, life seemed to breaking at the seams in every way possible. If the entire wizarding world was a mess and up in arms, just imagine how the people who knew him were dealing with it…

Hideously, that was how.

No one had honestly expected something of that magnitude to happen and now they were trying to figure out how to take it in stride, along with keeping their guard up and fighting Voldemort. The Order of Phoenix was somewhat of a disaster at the moment and Lupin feared that it might collapse.

This was not what they needed.

Certain members of the Order, however, were still mourning the loss of Dumbledore (which they truly did not have time to do), rendering them rather useless, while others seemed to want to break away, for whatever their reasons. With himself and Minerva McGonagall serving as the unofficial replacements to the fallen, great wizard, matters had certainly multiplied in their difficulty.

With Dumbledore gone, the Ministry of Magic appeared to be much less willingly to cooperate with the Order, claiming they had, "Much more pressing issues to deal with, such as You-Know-Who's return!", or so related by Rufus Scrimgeour. Not only that, but it was getting notably hard to gather all of the members together. The ones who also had Ministry jobs were being worked twice as hard and others seemed rather reticent in being away from their families. Lupin understood they were afraid, but that was no reason to completely desert their obligations. He was frightened as well!

Yes, but you have no family to worry over, do you?

The werewolf, shocked at this thought within his head, shook it away and went jumped back on his original train of thought.

If… if the Order began to fall apart now, well, then, the wizarding world might as well surrender itself on a silver platter. Merlin knew the Ministry was incompetent! When this view was verbally given to the Order by McGonagall during a recent meeting, followed by the assurance that Dumbledore would not want them to crumble, it was partially shot down by one of the members.

"The Ministry may be hopeless, but… but that doesn't mean the situation is!" Dedalus Diggle proclaimed. There was silence as everyone turned to look at him. The headmistress of Hogwarts was gazing shrewdly at the man.

"Meaning what, precisely?" she wondered.

"Well…," he slowly began, "Harry, of course."

This prompted talk. Tonks and a newly married Bill Weasley looked at him disbelievingly while Remus, at the head of the room, felt anger beginning to well inside of him. What exactly did Diggle mean by that?!

Not a second later McGonagall voiced the same question.

"Quiet—quiet everyone!," she called. After the murmuring ceased, she sharply said, "I am assuming you mean Harry Potter, Dedalus."

"O-Of course…"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, only that we don't need the Ministry. The Order itself may even seem a bit pointless…. With Harry being the Chosen One—"

He did not get to finish due to the many outbursts.

"Are you mad?!" Tonks violently wondered.

"Silly man!" yelled Hestia Jones.

"How dare you!" McGonagall herself cried.

"You cannot possibly be that dense!" Kingsley Shacklebolt roared.

There was a loud popping noise and all of the wizards quieted, looking for the source. Lupin was standing up, wand in hand, with a quiet fury in his eyes.

"Please tell me, Dedalus, that you are not rationalizing riding of the Order because of Harry's apparent status as the alleged Chosen One," he stated. Diggle looked ashamed now.

"No, n-no, that's not what I—"

"Because to use that as an excuse to cower is ridiculous! To think that Harry will take care of Voldemort, thus relieving us, is preposterous! We are not going to place this all on Harry and have no reason to! As a member of this organization I can't even believe that came out of your mouth—you know better!"

They all seemed to think Lupin's speech was enough punishment because no one said anything else on the matter. Diggle, however, had turned scarlet and appeared to want to disappear. Several nasty looks were thrown at him before the meeting resumed.

Lupin sighed, conjuring himself a glass full of pumpkin juice spiced with a little firewhiskey.

Harry had surfaced as his main concern in life, besides staying alive. He had always cared and worried about James' son, undoubtedly, but since Dumbledore's death…. He did not want to suffocate Harry, make him feel uncomfortable, or run him off, so he often kept an eye on him from afar. Remus knew the boy was suffering more than anything. He also knew where Diggle's unwanted thought had come from, but he was not going to tolerate that kind of thinking. Yes, Harry was the one to defeat Voldemort, but that did not mean he had to do it alone and the werewolf would make sure he was with him as long as possible.

The door to the kitchen opened. Tonks walked in, smiling uncertainly.

An aspect of his life that he had not given the thought it deserved had just made itself known, and like usual his insides churned.

She sat left of him at the table and leaned over, kissing his cheek.

"All right?" she pondered.

"As much as I can be," he answered.

"What are you drinking?" the Metamorphmagus inquired, noticing his glass.

"Pumpkin juice."

"Special pumpkin juice?" He smiled quickly.

"Yes." Lupin honestly answered.

"Well that's good, because I've rather bad news Remus…"

He looked at her.

"Well, you know how Dedalus didn't show up to the last meeting but everyone assumed it was because he was still wounded from that dumb comment of his?" Tonks started.

"Yes."

"It appears he's gone missing," she relayed after a sigh, "He hasn't been seen for well over a week. The last person to see or speak with him was Mad-Eye."

"Wonderful," he mumbled, running a hand over his eyes. She placed a hand on his arm, "Death Eater activity, is it?"

"In all probability."

"So that means they may kill him, if they haven't already. Wasn't the attack on Elphias enough?!" Before this occurrence, Elphias Doge had been attacked by Death Eaters which landed him in St. Mungo's, where he still resided. The Order saw it as Voldemort's response to their capture of two Death Eaters weeks before, whom had murdered themselves.

"McGonagall's already told the Minister, but—" Tonks noted.

"He doesn't seem to care?," finished Lupin, "No, of course not. He's other things to worry about with a dark wizard back at large, not even bothering to see that these two events, and plenty of others, could be connected!" Remus did not know at what point in the past he had resorted to sarcasm—it wasn't like him.

Maybe not the old you…

There was silence.

"How's Harry?" the man wondered. He asked this question constantly, never being the one who actually tracked his movements at Privet Drive. When Harry entered the wizarding world is was a different story, however.

"Still safe. Upset at being back after the wedding. For the most part fine, apart from being a teenager with a crazed sorcerer after your blood, or so Arabella tells it," she reported. He smiled, "You know he'll be 17 very soon, Remus. What then?" The werewolf had pondered this numerous times but could come up with a satisfactory answer.

"He'll want to leave his uncle's immediately, of course. He'll presumably go to the Burrow, or possibly come here. His safety will be jeopardized like you wouldn't believe," he sighed, closing his eyes.

There was a long silence yet again, full of grief.

"Everything is so difficult, Dora, so uncertain. Anything can happen," the werewolf said after the pause.

"I know." Tonks quietly sympathized, affectionately running a hand through his hair with sadness in her eyes.

"I don't… I don't know what to do." Lupin confessed.

"Oh, Remus—I don't know if any of us do."

A/N: I am going to make this perfectly clear: I do not like Remus and Tonks together. However, if I am going to be realistic then I cannot ignore them, just like I cannot ignore Ron & Hermione. JKR put it in the sixth book and so therefore it is real. On the other hand!, that doesn't mean I can't down play it, and believe me, down play it I will!

I made Remus call Tonks 'Dora' because Nymphadora and Tonks both seem inappropriate. As for Diggle, Jones and Doge, they're not dead in the series right? Or missing or something like that? I hope not!...