The Penguins were sitting around, watching their TV. Kowalski held the remote, but there was nothing good on.

Right now they were watching a comedy. There were two men - brothers, sitting at a table.

"Henry, what is it you wanted to talk about?"

The one called Henry hesitated. "I just...you know...you promise not to laugh? Or get distracted?"

The other seemed already distracted, but nodded.

"Well...Nick.."

"HA HA!!!!! LOOK AT THE CRAZY GUY ON THE TV! HE GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A COCUNUT!" said the other, called Nick. There were laughing noises from the background, as there are on comedy shows, but Henry looked outraged.

Knowing the feeling, even if the show made it overly-dramatic, Kowalski flipped the channel. There was a drama on.

"You never listen to me - it's as if you don't care about me!!" shouted a woman to a man, who wasn't paying attention.

"Eh.." he said.

"You have no compassion and a cold, cold heart! You probably replaced me! Well, I've got news for you - you'll never be hearing from ME again!" She ran off.

At this the man got up and ran after her. "No, wait, stop!" But it was too late.

Kowalski flipped the channel again. There was some Texan guy, talking to his jerky comrade.

"Well lookie here! You know what, I 'been puttin up with you for far too long! Ur an A --"

Kowalski turned the TV off while Rico covered Private's ears. Kowalski tried not to think about everything, but wasn't succeeding...

He was ironically saved by Julien, who rudely came rushing in. Behind him were Morice, Marlene, and Bernice, all looking worried. By then Skipper didn't bother with the "authorised personel only" speech.

"Mort is GONE!" shouted Morice. Julien looked panicky.

"Now who will be there to worship and annoy me? Why must the ugly Morice have gone missing?" yelled Julien.

"Um, King, I'm right here. Mort's the one that's missing."

"Oh, right. Right." He waved his hand dissmisively.

"YOU guys have got to help us!" yelled Marlene. Julien ran forward and shook Kowalski, who had been staring at Bernice. She was awesome...but he hated her for stealing his only glory from him. To Skipper, he didn't matter as much now.

"You, da smart one!" Julien commanded, shaking Kowalski violently. "Yoo hoo! You must do something!"

"Well, I-"

"DO SOMETHING!" everyone commanded, glancing at Julien. He was going crazy and tearing through their boxes...as if Mort was there! Skipper started to object, but as I said before, it was a lost cause.

"Uh, okay. Firstly," Kowalski hesitated, grabbing his clipboard and a pencil, "Where and when did Mort go missing?"

"You silly little penguin! Your King, which is me, is not to be made answer questions! How is the king expected to know?"

Kowalski angrily scribbled something. "Alright, then. Was Mort dissatisfied or upset by you in any way? Did he act peculiarly?"

Julien sighed. "I tell you, penguin. The king does not know these things."

A few such hopeless questions later, Kowalski sat, thinking.

"Have you found the furball yet?" asked Julien impatiently.

Kowalski was outraged. "Well, we have no clue when he went missing, why, whether it was intentionally, or....well....any manner of useful information whatsoever!"

"So," the King asked nervously, ''are you getting close?"

"No I most certianly am not! I can't just grasp facts out of thin air!"

"Well, hop to it!"

"Hop to it? Hop to it! We could use your assistance, you know!" Kowalski snapped. It's as if he doesn't really care about Mort. he thought to himself. While Julien was going on and on about how he was king, blah blah blah, Skipper called for the penguins to huddle up.

"Kowalski, got anything yet?" asked Skipper.

"No!"

Skipper reacted just about as badly as Julien.

"Kowalski, I'm not paying you for nothing here!"

"You aren't paying me at all!"

"Oh," said Skipper. "Well, Kowalski, try harder! Think! This is important!"

He tried to, but still had nothing. "Well, Skipper, I've been given no facts, no clues, no information to even lead us in the right direction..."

"I thought you were supposed to be the brains, Kowalski!" Skipper said.

"Why don't you try it, then?" Kowalski dared ask. Apparently, they were talking a little too loudly, because Bernice replied from across the room:

"I will!"

Skipper looked over at Bernice, still steaming.

"Bernice, it's a lot harder than-" Kowalski began. Skipper rolled his eyes.

"But I have an idea! For starters, why don't we look in the lemur exhibit for any clues or anything suspicious? Meanwhile, Kowalski can check all of the surveillance cameras!" she said.

"Well put. Good idea." said Kowalski, even more hating (and loving) her now. He couldn't BELIEVE he hadn't thought of that!

"Yes, sounds like a plan." agreed Skipper, eyes narrowing when he met Kowalski's gaze. "Gentlemen, move out!"