At first, James had had no idea where he was going; he considered Camille's, or Lucy's, or even Guitar Dude's, but then realized that he had the keys to a fabulous place called Abercrombie & Fitch, so he went and bought some snacks and a bottle of beer, and went back to the store.
In the storage room, he made himself a comfortable little spot in the corner, grabbed his boyfriend – because he probably should get used tothis being as close as he'd ever get to Kendall and embrace the possibility that he was going to be dating an inanimate object for the rest of his life – and leaned against him, sipping his beer. Then he closed his eyes and just… shut down his brain while petting Kendoll's hair.
He sighed when his bottle was empty. He should've gotten two – but he didn't want to risk passing out and then waking up when Tabitha arrived in the morning; that wouldn't be a good idea. So he'd opted for one beer.
And a pack of cigarettes, just because.
Apparently, it made people feel better or more relaxed, and he and the other three had smoked a couple of times in high school when it had been considered «cool" and they'd just wanted to try it out, so why not now? He was feeling rebellious, so whatever.
He stood up. "Gonna go have a smoke," he said to Kendoll, grabbing the beer bottle as well, to toss it. "Yeah, don't look at me like that." He sighed. "I know it's bad for me and bad for my voice and everything – but you shouldn't be the one to talk, you know?"
He eyed Kendoll, then rolled his eyes at himself – he did a lot of that – and just opened the door. He slid a box over to keep the door open, then tossed the bottle into the trash, and lit a cigarette, taking a deep drag. He coughed a little, then wrinkled his nose before taking another drag; this time, it worked better.
He looked up at the starry sky and sighed softly, blowing out the smoke.
When the door had started to open, Kendall had been briefly stuck in place, but fortunately, his feet had remembered how to fucking move by then and he managed to scramble around the side of the building.
Why he was hiding from James, he wasn't quite sure.
When the door didn't bang shut again, he peered around the corner and despite himself, had to smirk; James was smoking? And here, everyone thought he was the bad boy.
He kind of was, but that was beside the point. James doing the same thing he often got caught doing – and got yelled at for – was amusing as hell to him.
Kendall nibbled his lip, then, while James' back was turned, he softly slipped by him and stepped over the box to the back room, going inside. He took a breath and looked around with interest… then a figure caught his eye.
Kendall stared, eyes widening.
That mannequin was… him. Or pretty fucking close. And it was dressed like him, more or less, and even the hair was pretty spot on. And it was posed like it had been sitting there, shooting the shit with whoever was there with it.
Which was James.
Dude.
James finished his cigarette, then wrinkled his nose and threw it away before going back inside, staring at his feet to make sure he didn't trip – he did a lot of that.
"Heyyy, I'm back," he said softly, a little tipsy because he hadn't had eaten anything decent all day, and okay, he was a lightweight. So what?
"Did you miss me, Kendoll?" he asked, without looking up. "Tossed the pack, by the way" he said, pushing the box into the room. "So not worth–"
He froze when he looked up and suddenly saw Kendall.
The real one.
James jumped when the heavy door fell closed behind him, and silence fell over them.
He looked at Kendoll, then at Kendall, and squeaked. "What are you doing here?" he shrieked, blushing from the tips of his ears down to his toes, he was sure.
Kendall blinked. God, James was loud. There had to be a volume control on that boy somewhere.
Hot on the heels of that thought, came the realization that he really didn't know what to say. Of course, that had never really stopped him before.
"I…" He started then rubbed his neck. "Is that my shirt? Cause it looks just like my… oh, wait, no. Uhm, anyway."
Kendall took a breath. "Look, I felt bad about how weird things have been with us lately, and then we argued tonight and you stomped off, and I just… I walked, and wound up here, and saw a light, and then you came out and… yeah, I kind of snuck in."
He folded his arms. "And what were you doing out there, huh? You bad boy, you. And Logan yells at me."
He met James' eyes, then looked over at the mannequin. "But if I'm interrupting something…"
James took a shaky breath. Okay, so that sounded like a reasonable explanation, and it was kind of sweet that Kendall had wanted to come in and… apologize or whatever. It was.
But then Kendall looked over at the mannequin and James just wanted the ground to open up and swallow him and never let him out again, so he didn't have to explain this. Now that Kendall had seen the mannequin, he probably understood everything, and… oh fuck, how weird did this look?
He swallowed hard and looked down, shaking his head. "You're not. You're not interrupting anything. I was just… I…"
He waved his hand lamely, and realized that there just was no easy way of saying, "I'm a pervert and kind of in love with you."
So he just closed his mouth and bit his lip, then glanced up at Kendall, his cheeks dark pink.
Kendall had never seen James' face that color before, and in that one glance, a whole bunch of things started to make sense – or more sense.
He licked his lips. "I didn't mean to intrude – I just figured if I got your attention outside, you might just tell me to fuck off and slam the door in my face. You can throw me out now, if you want, but… I didn't mean to be an asshole. I was just, like I said, jealous, cause I've been really lonely lately and I've missed you, and I thought maybe you'd missed me too, but… maybe not?"
He looked over at the mannequin. "Maybe you've found a better me than… me."
James stared at him.
Only Kendall. ONLY KENDALL could see all of this and still misunderstand the situation; think something like that. James wanted to shake him; laugh and cry at the same time, and just bang his own head against the wall repeatedly.
"No," he said desperately, taking a few steps closer. "No, Kendall – for fuck's sake, this isn't what this is at all. Don't you get it? I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for months and months, and I've kept giving you all these signs, and you just misunderstand everything, and… do you just don't get how fucking attractive you are? I mean honestly, anyone else would've figured it out by now, but…"
He shook his head. "Never mind." He took a deep breath, then looked up, forcing himself to meet Kendall's eyes.
"I'm in love with you, Kendall. And Kendo– I mean, the mannequin is in no way better than you, but it's the only way for me to be with you. And I wasn't here so much because I hate you or prefer spending time with an inanimate object; it's just so hard to be around you when I know I can never have you. That's the only reason why I might have been avoiding you lately, but… I love you. I'm head over heels in love with you, and I'm obviously losing my fucking mind because I spend every night with a fucking doll, just to feel a tiny bit closer to you."
He bit his lip. "I just… I love you. Okay? That's all. I'm just in love with you."
Kendall looked stunned.
James loved him. James. Was in love. With him.
And the doll was him, and James found it easier to spend time with a mannequin than him, because presumably, the mannequin had more of a clue.
Holy shit, where had he been? And why hadn't he seen this, and why hadn't he understood that James felt like he felt and…
He chewed on his own lip while his mind flashed back over the past month, and even before that, and… girl!Kendall had really just been him and… Jesus. There was clueless and idiotic, and then there was him.
"Jamie, I'm so… sorry, dude," he said faintly. "I honestly… none of this ever occurred to me. And I made you feel… God. Really, I am…"
Kendall took a deep breath. "You love me. You sincerely love me, enough to… did you pretend he was me, talk to him cause at least he wouldn't say anything stupid or unfeeling when you were trying to get a point across?"
He glanced over at the mannequin and had to smile a little. "He does look more intelligent than me."
James swallowed hard, his heart beating fast, then he had to snort. "He's not more intelligent than you are," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "He's pretty quiet. Which isn't fun cause one of the things I love most about you is that you never shut up. But yeah."
He blushed again. "I did pretend he was you, talked to him, told him everything I couldn't tell you, and…"
Molested him like a fucking perv…
"Well, at least he's a good listener… and has better hair." Kendall squinted at Kendoll. "And see, I knew you loved my motormouth – you just pretended to want to duct tape my mouth shut last week, right? And smother me with a pillow when we were twelve and…"
He paused; James' blushing was amazing. And adorable.
And hot. And he wanted him.
Kendall licked his lips and took a step closer to James, his eyes moving between James' eyes and his lips.
"Head over heels in love, huh?"
James swallowed hard and nodded faintly, licking his lips. "Yeah," he whispered. "Head over heels."
Then he leaned in and pressed his lips against Kendall's, realizing that this may be the only time he would ever have the courage and opportunity to do this. He cupped Kendall's cheek gently, brushing his lips over Kendall's slowly and tilting his head to kiss him more fully. His heart was racing and his stomach almost hurt because of all the fluttering that was going on inside it.
Before Kendall could move any closer, James had leaned in and kissed him, and Kendall's stomach flipped over too as James' lips met his. He made a tiny, soft sound and slid his arms around James' neck and pulled him close, crushing their lips together, his heart pounding. He closed his eyes, feeling shaky, and threaded his fingers into James' hair.
James' heart skipped a beat and he felt nervous and relieved at the same time. He had imagined this scenario countless times, but he'd never imagined that Kendall would really kiss him back.
But he was kissing him back, and that tiny little sound almost killed James. His stomach fluttered as he pulled him flush against him and kissed him deeply, parting his lips and sliding his hands into his hair, then down his back again, keeping his arms wrapped around him, holding him close.
Kendall kept one hand in James' hair – that he was actually being allowed to touch – and ran the other one down his chest, then his side, finally reaching around to press against the small of his back, rubbing slowly. He had never kissed a boy before – not seriously; random drunken Truth or Dare didn't count – but kissing James felt like coming home, like it was the perfect, necessary thing to do. And it felt better than any kiss ever had before; just like he had known it would.
When they both needed to breathe, they pulled back, just a little, and Kendall pressed his forehead against James.
"Baby," he whispered, not even conscious of the endearment. "James, that was… perfect."
When Kendall called him baby, James looked up in surprise and studied Kendall's face; could it be that maybe Kendall had feelings for him too? It didn't seem possible but Kendall did look a little flushed, and the look he was giving him…
"I… it was," he admitted. "I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to do this."
"I never thought you'd want to." Kendall's voice was a little hesitant. "I mean, in all the times I've thought about it, it seemed fairly unlikely that you'd be up for it, so I never, you know. Pursued it."
He swallowed. "When Jo left? I was sad for a while – she was my friend as well as being my girlfriend – but when I was past the fact that she was gonna be gone for a while, I had to think about what I might want now, and I…"
He stopped and took a breath. "I thought about you, like I have for a lot of years. It's like I let myself think about you every couple of years to see if anything had changed, but it never did. You seemed to be fine dating girls and I was too, but I never saw any indication that you wanted anything else, so I'd shove it back down and just go on cause… well, because. Because there was nothing else to do about it. I got so good at pretending I never felt anything that I didn't see that you did."
Kendall looked down. "It was easier to just be clueless than to see any hints and misinterpret them, and maybe lose you altogether."
James looked at him and bit his lip thoughtfully, then tilted Kendall's chin up and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. "You would never lose me." He looked into his eyes and rubbed his nose against Kendall's lightly. "Ever. Okay?"
He gave him another kiss; a soft, gentle one, and let his eyes flutter closed. He stroked Kendall's hair and the back of his neck, then, when he'd finally processed the other boy's words, he wrapped his arms around his back and pulled him as close as he could.
Kendall liked him. Kendall loved him. Kendall wanted him. He didn't have to bother with the mannequin anymore because he could have the real thing.
That realization took his breath away and he drew back a little, staring into Kendall's eyes and breathing heavily.
Kendall knew James took a moment to process, and sometimes he liked to think he could watch words and ideas link up in his head. James was the most transparent person in the world and still, he, Kendall, hadn't seen a thing. Or he'd made himself believe he hadn't.
The soft little kisses were so sweet, and he couldn't help smiling against James' lips, then hugged him back tight – not even light could twist its way between their bodies right now, and Kendall rested his head on James' shoulder, closing his eyes for a moment as James' fingers tangled in his hair.
Five, four, three, two, one…
The corner of Kendall's mouth turned up as he looked back at James. "Yeah, I do want you, Jamie," he said softly. "I'm sorry that I didn't let myself see that you wanted me too, but you see, I honestly had given up hope by now. But if you want me, then… I want you too."
He sighed a little. "Even if you don't, I still will always want you. I always have, and I don't see that stopping anytime soon."
James swallowed hard. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that and I can't believe you've felt the same for a while; I literally had no idea. You never gave me even the slightest hint and I know I'm probably not any faster than you are when it comes to realizing those things, but I think I would've noticed. So, yeah, if you were trying to hide it, then you did a fabulous job."
He took a deep breath and pressed their foreheads together. "But yes. Of course I want you. I'm not stupid enough to let you go now that I finally have you."
He looked into his eyes and gave him a little smile.
"You're not, huh? I didn't think so."
Kendall slid his hand back into James' hair, tugging gently on the ends, soft against his fingers. "Of course the other two have known all along – so much for the 'what the fuck is WRONG with you' looks I've been getting for a month. I'm so used to that expression that it didn't even register."
He looked into James' eyes and had to smile back. "So… that mannequin… maybe it was a sign or something. He does have better hair and probably a more affable personality."
James was warm, almost hot, and their bodies were still pressed tight together, but Kendall didn't want to let go.
James groaned. "Don't ever mention that mannequin again, I swear. I've spent way too much time with it this past month, and God, I've been feeling so guilty and like a huge perv."
He took a breath and pressed his face into his neck, breathing him in. Then he was silent for a moment and lifted his head, looking at him dreamily.
Kendall grinned. "Oh come on… he listens, doesn't steal your last clean socks, make fun of your styling putty, borrow money and never repay it, drink all your watermelon Gatorade or make you watch Sports Center six times in a row. He's quiet, mellow, always hard…"
He paused. "Well, me too on that last one, but still."
He kissed James' ear, and kept hold of him, then touched his cheek, touched by the dreamy expression, aware that his own was about the same.
"Oh, shut it," James murmured, smiling. "You're way better. And he may be hard, but he's not very comfortable when you rub–"
He stopped abruptly and his cheeks turned pink again. "Um. Yeah."
He buried his face in Kendall's neck again and hugged him. Again.
Kendall's brows shot up – both at the same time, for a change – and he glanced sideways at the doll, then almost died. Quietly – also for a change.
James had rubbed up on the mannequin, pretending it was him. Oh God. That was both disturbing and oddly, one of the hottest things he could imagine. He wished he could see that, actually. Security tape, anyone?
He kept James pressed warm against his body. "I could give you something more pliant to rub against," he whispered in James' ear. "Something that would actually rub back against you, too, and kiss you, and touch you, and whisper ridiculously sweet and sappy things in your ear. If you want, that is."
The whisper in his ear made James shiver, his breath hitch and press even more against Kendall. "I'd like that," he whispered. "I'd like that a lot…"
He kissed Kendall's jaw. "Take me home?"
"Sure."
Kendall closed his eyes for a moment, then cupped James' face and kissed him slowly, deeply, licking his bottom lip softly and then pulling back.
"While we can still walk straight," he murmured and stepped back.
James nodded and swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. "Okay."
He licked his lips, then went over to the mannequin and picked it up, putting it back with the other ones. He glanced at it briefly, then bent down and picked up the bag with his snacks and the keys, and went back to Kendall. "All right, we can go."
Kendall watched him, trying to get it through his head that this was truly happening; James loved him, wanted to be with him in all the ways you could be with someone, had wanted this for a very long time.
All the missed or barely-missed glances, all the little smiles, heated cheeks, brushes of hands against hands… random stiffies.
He smiled, thinking about that episode on the floor. That hadn't been random at all.
Kendall opened the door and stepped out – it was raining now, just lightly, but steadily, and when James had pulled the self-locking door tight behind him, he reached for his hand and wrapped his fingers around him, tilting his head up so the rain slid off him – it felt cool on his heated skin.
James looked at him and sighed. "Figures that you're wearing a white shirt when it's raining, you bastard."
"Totally unplanned, too," smirked Kendall. "I'd say sorry, but I'm really not."
James gave him a little smile, then squeezed his hand and they walked back to the Palmwoods, fingers laced tight together.
Kendall didn't bother wiping the smile off his face as they walked, because for the first time in too long, he felt happy – not because a song had gone right, or because he hadn't fallen on his face during a dance practice or any other little reason; he was happy because after what felt like forever, he had James. He understood now what had been going on, and let's face it. James had found a replica of him to be with when the real him was, well, unavailable.
Odd? Yeah? Kind of cool and weirdly sweet? Oh yeah.
They were soaked when they finally arrived and entered their bedroom, but instead of taking his clothes off right away, James reached for Kendall first, pulled him into a long, warm kiss and slid his hands under his t-shirt, stroking his warm, wet skin.
Kendall slid his hands up James' sides as they kissed and concentrated on the dual sensations of being kissed – and amazingly so – and touched.
James kissed him for a long moment, kissing him the way he'd always wanted to kiss Kendall, then drew back slowly and tugged Kendall's shirt off him. He touched bare skin, running his hands over Kendall's still slightly wet shoulders and back, then his chest, brushing his thumbs over his nipples as he kissed him again. He kicked off his own shoes, then broke the kiss again, briefly, to tug off his own t-shirt; needing to feel Kendall's skin against his own after having spent so much time just imagining it.
He sucked Kendall's bottom lip into his mouth and looked deep into his eyes, then gently pushed him towards his bed. He wasn't sure how far Kendall wanted to go, but anything was fine with him right now. He just wanted to hold Kendall and kiss him and be with him.
Kendall let James pull off his shirt, let him direct the whole thing actually cause he was still a little stunned and James had obviously been thinking about these moments, and hey, take-charge James was sexy.
Well, all types of James were sexy, but this one was really, really working for him right now.
He shivered when his nipples were touched – they were so extraordinarily sensitive that he could probably come just from a little abuse there – and then wrapped his arms around him, running his fingertips over the broad muscles of James' back. His boy was built.
His boy. It would take some time to get his mind around that.
Kendall closed his eyes when James sucked his lower lip, then opened his eyes to meet James', and let himself be drawn back to the bed. He was up for whatever James wanted – his v-card, for example.
James looked into Kendall's eyes, then reached down and unbuttoned Kendall's pants – he still couldn't believe he was allowed to do that. Then he tugged them down and swallowed hard when he could clearly see Kendall's erection in his briefs. Fuck, that was sexy.
He swallowed hard and pulled down his own pants, then gently nudged Kendall onto the bed, sliding on top of him. Then he looked down at him, and opened his mouth, looking, for a moment, like he wanted to say or ask something, but then changed his mind and just kissed Kendall again; whatever they were going to do was going to happen; if Kendall wanted more, he would let him know.
Although, not talking about stuff hadn't really worked out for them in the past, so maybe he should ask.
Kendall glanced down when James pulled his jeans down, his attraction and frankly, need, very, very obvious. And when James pulled his own jeans off, Kendall took a breath, cause God, James.
Sure, they'd seen each other naked or nearly so before, but this was different. James was hard for him, and he was hard for James. This was no dream, no random, passing "I'm tired" (right) stiffie – these were hard-ons with intent.
He lay back, pulling James on top of him, and wrapped his arm around his back, the other hand going back to tug and stroke The Hair. He was so going to do that all the time now.
For now, though, he concentrated on kissing James back, slowly, exploring his mouth and just feeling.
James deepened the kiss and stroked Kendall's arms gently, then cupped his cheeks and kissed him a little harder, needing him. He shifted, and their cocks were pressed together in the most incredible way James could imagine, and he let out a soft moan, pressing down on Kendall a little.
Fuck, that felt good, and James wanted… he just wanted. He wanted Kendall; all of him, but if they just kept doing this all night, it would be enough for him too. He just wanted to be close to him.
James' weight atop Kendall felt amazing; all of them were pressed together now and when James shifted, the sudden friction made Kendall whimper like he had in the storeroom. He'd never heard himself make that sound before, but then again, he'd never been making out with James before, or rubbing off on him.
He didn't know exactly what James wanted tonight; he didn't know if James had had sex before with a guy. He was pretty sure that he hadn't, but knew he'd been with a girl – they all had.
Except him, and that worried him a little. He didn't think anything would hurt, but just…
He wanted to be good at this the way he was at hockey, the way he was at singing, the way he was at a bunch of things. But this was new.
The kiss broken, he licked his lip and looked up at James in the light from the streetlamp.
James looked down into his eyes and took a breath. Then he leaned down and kissed Kendall's jaw and chin, and those freaking dimples, smiling against his cheek.
Then he nuzzled him and finally lifted his head and looked down at him, their noses almost touching.
"What do you want?" he asked softly and simply, after wondering for a moment how to ask him. "I mean… do you want to get out of these wet boxers? And then, can I touch you? Kiss you? And… more?"
The dimple kiss made Kendall laugh. "They're their own entities," he said, touching James' cheek. "On you, there's so much gorgeousness, it'd be overkill."
He nuzzled James back, nosing still-damp hair, then looked into his eyes, and swallowed at the simple, direct question. "I do want to get out of these and under the covers with you," he said softly. "I want to see and touch all of that beautiful body, and I want you to touch me and kiss me, all of that."
He took a breath. "I've never had sex before," he said simply. "So this is all new, so if you can just be patient with me, then that would be…"
He flushed. "That would be amazing."
"Of course I am," James said softly. "I've never had this kind of sex before either, so it's new for both of us, kind of. But we can totally wait for a while. I just want to be naked with you, touch you, get to know your body… maybe it's too soon for anything else anyway. We should take our time and just, yeah. Explore first."
He gave him a sweet little smile and brushed a kiss over his lips. "You're adorable when you blush. It's not something you get to see a lot; nothing seems to make you blush. I like that I'm the reason for this one."
He kissed his warm cheek and nuzzled him again, then closed his eyes and breathed him in, and then finally reached down to rid them both of their boxers and pull the sheets up and over them.
"I haven't had it at all, so yeah, and that sounds good, just learning each other."
Kendall smiled back at him, and touched his cheek while they kissed. "I know, right? You're special. Dunno how you managed it, but you have – I've never seen you blush the way you did at the store, like, ever. It was a pretty shade of pink."
He tilted his head to kiss the side of James' neck, then sighed. "This is… we've known each other forever, and yet it kind of feels like we just met, somehow."
Kendall was glad to get the damp boxers off and toss them aside, to be warming up, naked against James' body.
James made a soft sound and sighed. "I was embarrassed. I still am. But I was just trying to be close to you in some weird way, so yeah."
He stroked Kendall's neck and nodded. "It does – kind of a mix between knowing you forever and getting to know you just now. It's kind of nice."
He nuzzled him, then kissed him again, sliding his hand down Kendall's side, stroking gently.
"Don't be, baby; I was touched – still am, too. I just wish I hadn't been so intent on avoiding hurt that I actually wound up creating it. You should have smacked me, said "Wake the fuck up, Knight! I want you bad."
Kendall smirked a little. "That would have been something to hear in the shower or whatever."
He glanced down for a moment, then back up through his lashes. "A lot of the time, when I was wanking? I thought about you, especially in the tub, cause I liked imagining you wet."
He rubbed his face with his free hand. Now he was pink, and let his other hand stroke down the long plane of James' back. He wanted to touch him everywhere.
James looked down at him and smiled. "Touched? Huh. I thought you'd be horrified. I'm glad you're not, though."
"Well… it wasn't what I expected to see, really, and okay, it was a little odd, but when I understood why, I just felt like – you wanted me so much that you literally found another me. Kind of. He was better-looking and has never had a zit, I guarantee you."
Kendall grinned, because this topic wasn't dead and he still planned to get some mileage out of it when they weren't naked and cuddly.
James shook his head. "No, he – it was a very poor replacement for you. I felt so stupid most of the time, but at the same time, it gave me the opportunity to finally say all the things I'd been meaning to say to you for ages but never really could say. If I'd known how you feel, I would've said them to you right away."
He kissed the corner of Kendall's mouth. "Either way, you're much better than him. You're perfect."
"Jamie, you know better than that – I am so damn far from perfect that I can only view that planet with a telescope, but hey, if you wanna think so, who am I to contradict you?"
"I know you, yes, but I do think you're pretty close to perfect. Or at least perfect for me."
Kendall couldn't help smiling; James' rationale made perfect sense to him. "Okay, perfect for you," he whispered. "I can handle that."
James smiled, then stared at him. "So you were thinking about me when you were in the tub, making those incredible sounds?"
He flushed. "I mean… um. Okay, so I sort of eavesdropped and, uh, touched myself… during."
Before Kendall could say anything else, James blushed again, and Kendall smirked at him. "I was, and you were, huh? You should have come on in and touched yourself for me."
Kendall leaned up and licked a slow trail up James' neck. "I'd love to see you do that sometime – just for me."
James' breath hitched and he swallowed hard. "Oh, I will. Definitely. If you do the same for me…"
He smiled, then closed his eyes and kissed him again, and finally reached down and wrapped his hand around Kendall's cock.
The thought of James spread out and touching himself for him made Kendall's cock, already hard just from being pressed against the other boy's warm body, twitch almost painfully. Now that was something to wank over.
He wrapped an arm around James' neck and licked his top lip before kissing him back, and moaning into the kiss when James cupped him; he reached down between them, wrapping his hand around James' and squeezing.
Yeah, he liked it rough, a little painful; he'd teach James what to do to him. Just because no one else had touched Kendall that way yet, didn't mean he hadn't. He knew exactly what he liked.
James closed his eyes and moaned when he was grabbed and squeezed. He did the same to Kendall, figuring he liked it that way, and apparently he was right, judging by the look on Kendall's face.
He kissed him deeply, sliding his tongue into his mouth, his hand speeding up.
Hearing James moan for him was surreal, though – he'd moaned over James a fair amount in his lifetime, but he'd never truly thought for a moment it would ever be reciprocated, and just the sound alone was enough to make him echo it. He kissed James back almost frantically, hard, letting James take over his mouth and pushing back against the hot hand on his cock.
James continued thrusting forward into Kendall's hand while moving his own roughly on Kendall's cock. He seemed to be enjoying it, and his moans were the most erotic thing James had ever heard. Soon, he was close and panted into Kendall's ear. "Close," he whispered. "Come for me; with me…"
Kendall touched James they way he liked to be touched, figuring James would tell him if it wasn't working for him, but James' breath was coming fast and those sounds, Jesus God, those sounds – the boy could make any song sound sexy and apparently, it translated well to sex.
He should have known.
Kendall loved that James had gotten immediately to not be gentle, at least not now, and he was so close too, that he could only nod, James' breath in his ear driving him crazy.
"You too," he whispered hoarsely, then came into, onto James' hand, nearly whimpering as James squeezed again, wringing him dry.
Kendall's hand tightened around him when he came, which sent James over the edge and made him moan and press his face into Kendall's neck as he jerked forward and trembled from the force of his orgasm.
Then he let go of Kendall's cock and collapsed on top of him, panting.
Kendall still had his arm wrapped around James and felt his body shake as he came, and with that, he felt this odd sense of… triumph, maybe? His touching James had created this quivering, shaking, moaning reaction. He had done this.
He stroked James' damp neck and nuzzled him, concentrating on breathing again.
James finally took a deep breath and nuzzled him, smiling. "Okay. That? Was way more amazing than rubbing against a mannequin."
He nuzzled him and nibbled Kendall's earlobe lightly. "You are amazing," he whispered, kissing his temple.
"I bet he doesn't moan like me," murmured Kendall, then smiled against James' skin. "Or like you, and fuck, that's sexy when you do that. I'm gonna make you do that all the time now."
He took a breath and shivered when James nibbled and kissed him. "I am," he agreed, then laughed quietly. "Not quite as amazing as you though. Gives me a goal to work towards."
He slid his hand into James' hair and brushed his lips over James' neck, then sucked lightly, not enough to leave a mark, but enough. "I can't believe you love me," he whispered. "Seriously. And I didn't see a thing."
"No, he doesn't moan," James said, grinning. "And it is, huh? I'll keep that in mind."
Then he looked at him, shaking his head. "I can't believe you didn't see it – I was so obvious!"
He shook his head and snuggled into him, wrapping his arms around him.
"What can I say? I guess I see what I want to see."
He shrugged, giving James an ingratiating smile. "Sorry?"
Kendall wrapped his arms around James, cementing them in a sticky mass, since neither of them had cleaned up – well, other than wiping their hands on James' sheets, which he would be washing – and let out a long breath.
"So what now?" Kendall felt a little weird to be asking this, but since he'd been behind during this whole thing, he figured maybe he and James being on the same page for a change might be a good thing.
James looked at him and raised a brow. "What now? Well, it's getting late and we have to be at the studio pretty early tomorrow morning, so I thought we could sleep now… Or, if you were talking about us…"
Kendall looked at him and rolled his eyes. "Really? Yes, I was talking about us, if there was gonna be an us, if you wanted that after this, or if you were disappointed and thought you could do better, or if…"
James looked at him and brushed his hair back. "I want to be with you. I want us to be together. If you want that, that is. So… do you want to be my boyfriend, Kendall?"
But James was dispelling any little fears he had with his words.
"You do? And you're seriously asking me this?"
Kendall gave James a look. A look. "Yeah… I do want that. I want that more than just about anything in the world, besides, say, superpowers and an evil clone. But barring those, then yeah, being The Boyfriend of The Face, The Body and The Hair Diamond is not a bad thing."
James grinned. "Yes, I'm seriously asking you this – you never know, right? You might have changed your mind in the meantime."
"In the last two or three minutes, yeah. You know me, indecisive and all that."
James grinned, then kissed his forehead. "Oh, really? You have superpowers and an evil clone. You are the evil one – maybe you could have a good clone, but…" He smiled. "And you do have superpowers because you made me fall in love with you like whoa, and no one's been able to do that yet. So…"
Kendall looked up at James who was still on top, and that would so have to be remedied, but later. James was not a top – there was no way – and he smiled. "You can be my good half, and I'll keep being my evil self, and it will all work out."
He nodded, then cupped James' face in his hands and looked into his eyes. "That's the most heroic thing I've ever done, true."
Kendall let his eyes travel over James' face and then kissed him lightly, for a long moment. "I do love you. I'm sorry I didn't see and that it hurt you. I would never do that to you on purpose, Jamie. You know that, right?"
"I know that. Of course I know that. And I'd love to be your good half, bad half – whatever you want me to be."
James smiled at him and gave him another long kiss. "Spoon?" he asked then, smiling as he turned around and felt Kendall wrap himself around him. He closed his eyes and breathed him in, then sighed happily, and fell asleep a short time later, happier than he'd been in a long, long time.
When James woke up the next morning, for a moment, he thought he was still in the storage room at Abercrombie & Fitch, but then he realized that the person snuggled into him wasn't cold, hard and plastic, but warm, soft and real. He turned around in Kendall's arms and stared at his sleeping face, a wide smile appearing on his lips.
So it hadn't been just a good dream; it had actually happened.
He grinned, then slid out of bed, naked, and did a little happy dance for several minutes; he couldn't help it.
Kendall blinked when James moved – he'd woken in the night and had his own "how the fuck did this happen" moment before grinning into James' neck.
Now, he opened his eyes after a moment, only to witness the single most incredible thing he'd ever seen Diamond do. Also, the cutest, dorkiest, and just most unbelievable thing ever.
He propped his head up on his hand and watched with a huge grin on his face. "Shuffle two steps to the left and you'd make our choreographer see God."
James gasped and jumped when he suddenly heard Kendall's voice. He whirled around and stared at him, then gave him a grin. "I know, right? He'd love this."
He grinned, then wiggled his hips again, making his cock swing from side to side, before he laughed and crawled on top of Kendall, tickling him first, then kissing him deeply. "Good morning, babe."
"Hell, I love it. I'm gonna demand that you start every day with a little dance, cause it totally woke me up. All of me," he added meaningfully, then laughed at James too, and reached for him on the bed.
Tickling was evil and he squeaked, but James kissed him before he could retaliate and he found himself kissing James back, sliding a hand down his side and onto his ass, squeezing gently.
James broke the kiss after a while and smiled. "Is this what I get to wake up to every morning? Cause I approve."
He tensed his butt muscles for a moment, giving Kendall a grin, then kissed his nose and forehead, and frowned when he heard noise downstairs. Then he glanced at the clock and sighed. "Guess breakfast's ready, huh? Think we've got some time for this and a shower or…" He paused, then looked like he'd just had the most brilliant idea ever. "We could do this in the shower!"
Kendall face-palmed; James got a lot of bright ideas over the course of a day, but this one had some merit. And besides, they had Kendall and Logan to plot and scheme. He was dating one of the Muscles of the group, and, possibly, the most Charming one, though they all had their moments.
Oy.
"Yeah, you get to wake up to this, if you want, baby."
Calling James baby was new to him too, and he let the word roll off his tongue and smiled at how it sounded. Baby. Jamie-baby. Oh God.
He slapped James' taut butt and looked at the clock too. "We might, if you spend less time flexing and blow-drying, and more time feeling me up under the spray. Your choice."
James pondered this for a moment. "I'll let The Hair air-dry for once – only for you. And flexing isn't necessary either, so… it works! I'll feel you up, I promise."
"Be still my heart – what if it wings out on the sides? What if it won't lie down?" Kendall pretended to be horrified, but got up and went into the shower with his boy. He never gave a damn about his hair or flexing, so he figured he was good.
James grinned, and then did grope him, taking Kendall into the bathroom and pulling him under the spray where they made out, groped each other, and finally finished with an amazing orgasm that suggested that the day they were about to begin was going to be great!
James looked at Kendall with a love-sick smile when they dried off and got dressed; he couldn't take his eyes off his new boyfriend, now that he was allowed to stare at him.
Shower groping and shower coming was an amazing way to start your morning, noon or night, thought Kendall, and when they were dressed, he feared he might have the same expression on his face as James had on his.
He blushed again under the gaze, and wondered at himself.
James smiled. "Ready for breakfast, boyfriend?" he asked finally, reaching for his hand. "Come on, baby."
He kissed Kendall's hand gently, then his lips, and took him downstairs – via Swirly. Kendall took his hand and then snorted as they went down the slide, still holding hands like they were six.
When they arrived in the living/dining room/kitchen, Logan and Carlos stared at them. "Um… okay. When did you make up?"
Kendall looked up at his friends, and had to grin.
"Last night," he said, pulling James up with him as he stands. "We, uh, talked… and stuff."
"And stuff?" Carlos tilted his head. "What kind of stuff?"
"Dirty stuff. Sticky stuff."
Logan stared. "You didn't! Did you? Cause if you did, I'm going to do a fucking happy dance now."
"I already did one," James said thoughtfully, then grinned at Kendall, pulled him close and kissed his lips.
Logan just stared, then looked at Carlos and grinned. "FUCKING FINALLY. Took you two long enough, goddammit. I thought I was going to have to do something."
"We didn't do it," Kendall clarified, having to laugh at his friends. "But we did other stuff that will eventually lead to it, and since James is a moaner, you might want to get earplugs."
He grinned and kissed James back, cupping his neck, and Carlos smirked back at Logan. Very nice.
When the kiss broke, Kendall leaned his head against James' shoulder. "What were you gonna do?"
Logan shrugged. "I have my ways of getting two people who are clueless together. But since you didn't need me after all, there's no reason for me to tell you my secret ways."
He grinned and wiggled his brows.
"I didn't know you were a master people-mixer; this is a side I know not of." Kendall eyed Logan, who eyed him back, then shook his head. "Maybe I don't want to know. Maybe it's better that this happened organically."
James smiled and nuzzled Kendall, then sighed. "Breakfast now. I'm hungry."
Kendall nuzzled James back. "I want food and to go back to bed, no lie. Can we call in horny?"
Logan smirked at him and laughed. "I dare you to call Gustavo right now and try!"
He grinned, then waved at the table. "Anyway, breakfast is ready, so sit, eat, drink…"
Kendall smiled and dug in his pocket for his phone while the others sat down around the table, Carlos shaking his head. He figured they'd hear Gustavo all the way from the studio without even needing the phone, a great big sonic NOOOOOOO rolling down the street.
Sure enough…
"Nice try, Knight, and I don't even wanna KNOW, but NO. NO, as in NO, as in get your asses here when I tell you to NO!"
Kendall had the phone held a good two feet from his ear – speakerphone, what was that?
"I tried, Jamie," he sighed, then sat on James' lap, forgoing a chair of his own. "No go. I may have to grope you inappropriately to show the severity of the situation."
He feeds James grapes, leaning against him, nuzzling occasionally and just basically feeling really… right.
James grinned. "I don't mind being groped inappropriately, so go ahead! I might even grope back."
He kissed his cheek and nuzzled Kendall back.
After a few minutes of silence, Logan looked up and leaned back. "Okay, spill. Tell me everything. How did this happen? I want details."
Kendall wiggled a brow at him, and smiled, planning to do just that – groping James all day long – and hoping that the inappropriate gropes in return didn't result in him walking around with a massive stiffie all day. Although there were worse things, such as thinking the boy of your dreams liked girls and would never look at you, so you spent your time ignoring everything around you and nearly missing out on the fact that boy of your dreams was kind of in love with you.
That was worse – Kendall knew that first hand.
He looked up, then down at James and smiled. "You wanna tell them, spin master, or should I?"
James nuzzled him. "You can tell them…" He eyed him. No, Kendal wouldn't tell them about him groping the mannequin, would he? No, he wouldn't.
He smiled and kissed his cheek. "Or we can both tell them, like they do in movies, all… couple-y."
Logan snorted, then coughed. "Sorry. Come on, I just want to hear the story."
Kendall slid his arm around James' neck. "Well, okay. As you know, James has apparently had a little thing – well, it's actually a pretty big thing – for me for a while. You also know I was pretty clueless about the whole thing."
"There's the understatement of the year," muttered Carlos, then winced when Logan hit him.
"Thanks, Log. And I was clueless because I've had feelings for James for a while, since way before we left Minnesota and I just… I never thought he'd be interested. Girls loved him, he seemingly loved them, and I just finally stopped thinking about it, about him. I pushed that stuff way down cause it hurt to want and not be wanted back. I thought. So I deliberately missed signs cause I'd convinced myself it wasn't meant to be."
He looked at James. "I just didn't want to get hurt, so I ignored it all."
James watched Kendall while he spoke, and smiled. "Yeah, and then, well, I got my job, and we just kind of drifted apart a little… I spent so much time at work because it was hard to be around Kendall when I knew I couldn't have him. So I worked my ass off, and closed every night, and came back when Kendall was already in bed. I missed him horribly, but it was also easier."
He looked at him. "And then last night, we had that fight, and I went back to the store and was going to sleep there… And then I went out at some point, and…"
"… and I went for a walk after James left," continued Kendall, munching toast. "I walked forever, but finally wound up at A&F and saw a light in the back, and wondered if James was there. And he was, obviously. He came outside to get rid of a bottle, I think, and was smoking."
He smirked. "Sorry, I find that amusing. Even if it was only one, Mr. Workout. But anyway, I waited till his back was turned and slipped in so he wouldn't toss me out on my ass, and just kind of waited for him inside. He'd made like a little fort in there for himself, being there so much."
Kendall doubted James would mention the mannequin and although he found it funny on some level, he understood that it wasn't funny to James – it had filled a need and Kendall would have to be a real asshole to mock him for it. He'd just wanked a lot, but James had missed him enough to actually transfer some emotion to something that did, actually, look just like him.
He wondered if he was an unwitting model. For the Salvation Army, maybe, but A&F?
Weird.
So although Logan would LOVE LOVE LOVE the mannequin story – as would Carlos – it was James' thing to speak of or not.
"Yeah, I was smoking… it's not like we haven't all had a cigarette every once in a while. Anyway, I was stunned when I saw him standing there, and… well. Then I told him I love him, he told me he loves me and we kissed."
He smiled at Kendall, then wrapped his arms around him and looked at him for a long moment. Then he rolled his eyes and sighed. "Okay, go ahead. Tell them. I know you want to."
He gave him a little smile and kissed his nose, then buried his face in Kendall's neck.
"Tell us what?" Logan wanted to know, still smiling sappily cause their story had been cute and romantic, and he really wanted to go and kiss Camille now.
"True, true, we do. And that is just how it happened; mutual I love yous and lots of kissing."
Kendall pressed a little kiss to James' temple, then looked at the others. "Apparently," he said thoughtfully, "somewhere along the way A&F came up with a mannequin that looks quite a bit – meaning exactly – like me. Literally, almost a mirror image, right down to the unruly surfer hair. And one of them lives in that store and James… well, used it to say things to me that he couldn't say to me, if that makes sense. And I guess it helped make him feel better, cause at least that Kendall listened, while the real me… didn't."
Logan stared at the two of them. "Oh my god, wait. So the infamous boyfriend James mentioned was a mannequin?"
He looked at them for a moment, then cracked up. "Oh God. Sorry, I'm just picturing this now, James snuggling a mannequin and… sorry." He giggled.
Carlos tried to not laugh, but couldn't quite manage it. "Dude," he finally said, after the first outburst. "James, that is classic, dude. I mean, only you. And it looks just like Kendall?"
Kendall was snuggling James protectively. "It does – it's really – he should show you sometime. And he dressed it like me. Seriously, I have a look and didn't even know it."
He stroked James' hair. "It's funny, and yeah, you can laugh, but I just wish I'd been aware enough so he never needed to. But that's never gonna be a problem again, right?"
James sighed heavily. "Yeah, it's funny… ha ha." He looked at the other two and grinned a little. "He does look exactly like Kendall, though. I called him Kendoll. And…"
He looked back at Kendall. "No, that's never gonna be a problem again. Now I have you, I know you love me, and I won't have to replace you with a random plastic doll anymore."
He tilted Kendall's chin up and kissed him gently while Logan, still giggling, calmed down and watched them with a smile. Finally. FINALLY.
"Does this mean I won't be replaced with an inflatable doll too? Can I rest easy, knowing that?"
He looked down into James' eyes and when he was kissed, closed said eyes and wrapped both arms around him, tasting juice and jam and James, all mixed together.
James smiled against his lips. "There is absolutely no danger of that happening."
He ran his fingers through Kendall's hair and looked into his eyes. "I love you too much to look at someone else again – whether it's a real person or a doll."
He rubbed their noses together and looked into Kendall's eyes, imagining their future together, a warm, fuzzy feeling in his stomach. He didn't know what was going to happen, especially once the band started to get better-known; all he knew was that he and Kendall were gonna be together, by each other's sides, going through all of it together.
And all because of a mannequin, of all things. Dude.