Got my FF problems figured out. ...slapping head... Thanks for reading.

Chapter Three

Apollo and Starbuck landed and they held their positions as a slight shudder ran through the Galactica as she jumped. Once passed, both climbed down the stairs. Any lack of spirit on Apollo's part was now over. He thundered down on her. "What in the frak did you think you were doing?"

"What? ME? What were you doing? You defied the recall." She countered.

"I had him. You weren't needed." He leaned in menacingly.

She met his stance. "I wasn't trying to get myself killed."

The statement stunned Lee. His shoulders fell back and his body relaxed. "I… I wasn't…"

She didn't relax. There was no way Lee was getting away with this behavior. It scared her too much. "What's wrong with you?"

He found his resolve. "Nothing! You had no right to step in and if you do it again, you'll spend a month in hack." He stormed off. He didn't get far before the page came across the ship's address system.

"Pass the word for Captain Adama. Captain Adama to CIC."

Lee stopped in his tracks. He debated ignoring it, but he knew it would only make things worse. He groaned and made his way to Galactica's hub.

He didn't have to ask who summoned him, his father was watching for him. "Walk with me captain."

Lee sensed the hopelessness of a fight and complied. They walked in silence until Adama shut the hatch to his quarters. Lee expected a few more minutes of tense, silent punishment. It didn't happen. "You ignored the recall."

Lee's head dropped and he pinched his lips together in an attempt to control his response. Taking a deep breath he prepared to do battle again. "I had him. I just needed another minute."

Adama didn't look at him. "You were reckless."

Anger welled up inside the younger Adama. "Why is it reckless to want to finish the battle?"

Adama's sharp eyes honed in on Lee's. "The battle was over. We were ready to jump. You endangered this ship by your delay."

Lee's anger erupted. His head bounced up and down with mock agreement. "OF COURSE!" He slapped his forehead. "What was I thinking? Only the great Starbuck gets to defy orders and get away with it." He looked at his commanding officer with mock sincerity. "I promise it'll never happen again. We all know where your true loyalty lies!" Lee did something he'd never done in his entire life. He left.

Adama stood stunned watching his son's retreating form.

BSG

Adama spent a sleepless night determining how to handle the incident. Any other pilot would have spent a minimum of a month in the brig. In light of recent events with Lee and the nature of the accusation, Adama opted to let it slide. In fact, he said nothing at all.

Lee spent the same evening expecting the marines to show up and drag him to hack. At one point, he was going to walk himself down and sign in. He held his breath when he met his father the next morning. His ego was stroked when the Admiral said nothing. Lee couldn't help but feel he'd scored a victory. He avoided thinking about the cost.

He continued to sleep very little. His nerves were frayed and his temper short. It didn't take the nervous glances from crew members to remind him. He was very aware of his attitude and behaviors. He didn't like it, but had no idea how to stop it. Nothing he tried worked.

He found himself screaming at Cally for a minor offense. He started to walk away and stopped. He didn't need to turn around to know he'd left the young woman shaken and distraught. He drew in a deep breath and returned to her. "I'm sorry, Cally. You didn't deserve that." He couldn't say more. All he could do was act. He marched himself to Life Station and confided the sleeping problem to the doctor.

"You should have said something sooner." Cottle reprimanded as he finished filling the small vial with pills.

Lee accepted the vial. "I know, but I can't be drugged up and fly." He wasn't going to allow Cottle to guilt him. He was good enough at it on his own. "I'm only taking these if I need them."

"Damn straight. We don't have an unlimited supply." He stepped back. "Those aren't a strong enough level to keep you out of the cockpit. If they don't work, I'll have to ground you. There are a few days in that bottle. If it doesn't work out by then, you're back here. Got it?"

Lee nodded.

That evening, Lee avoided the pills. Despite getting them, he wasn't convinced he needed them. He hoped merely the threat would be enough to convince his subconscious to let him rest. After an hour of twisting and turning, he knew it was hopeless. He dragged his legs over the side of his rack and grabbed at the bottle on the shelf above his head. He tapped two pills into the palm of his hand and brought them to his mouth to swallow. He couldn't get them in his mouth. He fought his own mind and willed his hand to release them to his tongue, but nothing happened. Assuming it was the idea of dry swallowing, he rose and moved to the head. He grabbed a small cup, filled it with water and repeated the attempt to swallow.

His hand shook before his eyes. He had no idea what was happening. His mind was ordering his hand to open and drop the pills into his mouth, but his hand refused to comply. His head began to throb at the effort and he staggered back to his rack. Again he tried to take the pills, but something was stopping him.

He struggled to control his breathing. He felt like his sanity was slipping away from him. He glanced around the empty room. He'd moved into the vacant section of officer's quarters a few days ago, hoping the tranquility would help ease his sleep. It hadn't worked.

The pills dropped from his hand and he wrapped his arms around his chest. Falling back onto the bunk, he rocked slightly from side to side and soon, his body drifted off to a restless sleep.

He woke the next morning at revelry and dragged himself into a sitting position. He ran his hands through his hair. He had slept, and he didn't recall dreaming, but his body felt shaky. He held his hands in front of him and watched them tremble. He shook them and looked again. A dark spot on the side of his right hand caught his eye. He turned his hand and noticed black streaks all along the side. It made no sense. He looked around his bunk trying to find the source, but found nothing.

Jumping up, determined to shake his lingering paranoia, he showered and readied himself for the day. He marched confidently into the briefing room and was greeted by a wave of hesitant salutes. He sensed a problem immediately, but knew he hadn't done anything yet to warrant the attitude. "What seems to be the problem?" he demanded.

Kara didn't hesitate to respond. "Is this a joke?"

Lee's expression remained neutral and calm. "I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific, Starbuck."

She pointed behind him to the pilot's schedule board.

He glanced quickly behind and noted her goal. "I don't understand. I put the schedule up last night. It's nothing different."

"The frak it isn't!" She stood up and marched boldly to the schedule. "This is utterly frakked up. You've got rooks with rooks and ECOs on vipers. It's a mess."

Lee turned to read the schedule as she spoke. His face grew red with anger. "This isn't a funny prank! Someone's obviously messed with the board. That's not the schedule I put up last night."

The room was silent as pilots nervously glanced at one another. Lee gave them a moment. "This isn't funny. This is a very serious violation and who ever is responsible needs to confess now!" He eyed Kara specifically.

She glared at him. "I didn't do it. Even I'm not that big an idiot."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Lee raised an eyebrow. She didn't respond. He allowed another moment of silence before again speaking. "Fine! We'll check the hard copy for now and this will be corrected." He pulled open the small file on the podium and flipped through several pages. The hardcopy was gone. He glanced around. "This is getting more serious and less funny by the moment. Hand it over!"

Kara moved to the podium. "What?"

He threw her a glare as if she was playing. "The schedule. I always keep it here."

She grabbed the folder and checked it herself , next she moved him over and went through the podium. As she was coming up the other side she happened to glance down into the metal waste basket on the floor. "Oh no," she hadn't even seen it, but instinct told her what it was. She bent over and pulled out what remained of a charred piece of paper. Only the top corner remained. The only words visible were 'flight schedule'.

Lee pulled it together and ran the briefing. He knew the flight rotations for the day and promised the rest would be redone by that afternoon. He ignored the departures and was shuffling through the folder again. He was half expecting a miracle copy to appear. He was furious at the turn of events. He'd gotten enough sleep to be slightly optimistic about the day but now, it was worse than ever.

Kara stuck around after he'd dismissed the group. "Why did you do it? I mean I've told you you're the world's worst CAG, but I don't see a point in this at all. You've got the real copy somewhere right?"

Lee glared at her. "What are you saying? You think I messed up the board and destroyed the schedule on purpose? Those things take hours. I'm not an idiot." He shook his head. "I can't believe you'd have the audacity to even suggest it… oh, but wait. You're the mighty Starbuck. Of course you would."

She didn't back down. "Knock it off. It's obvious it was you. It's your handwriting Lee."

Lee was stunned. He looked over his shoulder and shook his head in denial. "I did no such thing." He looked back at her, knowing something wasn't right. "Someone is playing with my mind." He pushed the smudge on his hand out of his mind.

Kara was worried. Lee hadn't been 'right' for weeks now. She was trying a relatively new approach for her, she was backing off. The old Starbuck would have been riding his case, demanding answers weeks ago. It had obviously been the wrong choice. "Lee, do you swear you didn't do this?"

He picked up the charred remains of the schedule. "Why do you keep asking? Why would I possible do something so stupid?"

Old Starbuck was back in charge. She was kickin' ass and takin' names. "Why would you purposely ignore a recall order?"

Lee was stunned. "Say what you mean, Lieutenant."

"You've been working hard. Maybe you need a break." She said more softly, less threateningly.

Lee moved from stunned to angry. "You think my solution to my workload is to get myself killed and then create even more work by destroying a schedule that took days to perfect? Who's the crazy one here?"

Kara ignored his logic. She could only hear what her gut was telling her. All was not right with Lee Adama. As his friend, she was going to make him face the truth. "Maybe you should take some time off? Head over to Cloud Nine and let loose for a change. I know the old man would approve it. He's worried too."

Lee's eyes flared and Kara knew she'd made a big mistake. "You've been talking to my FATHER about this?"

"We care about you."

Lee's eyes grew cold. "You're dismissed Lieutenant. I have work to do." He held up the charred paper. "More now than ever it seems. I'm sure the Chief can use your help on the deck."

BSG

Lee battled his inner demons alone. He avoided everyone for days. He reported when ordered and kept his reports short and to the point. He flew his CAPS and continued to live alone, hiding when necessary. Cottle summoned him to Life Station and asked about the pills. Lee told him he hadn't been using them. It wasn't technically a lie. He hadn't been able to swallow any of the pills. If he managed to get the pill into his mouth, he couldn't swallow it. He trudged on, refusing to give in to the exhaustion that threatened to claim him at any moment.

Adama would never know what woke him that night, but sleep refused to reclaim him. He dressed and strolled through his quiet ship. He dared anyone to criticize her now. She'd been the joke of the fleet prior to her decommissioning. He'd ignored them all, like he always had. Tragically, he knew he would have the last laugh. He ran his hand along her walls, now more often than not, marred by battle damage. Repairs were always hasty. He'd love to stop and allow Tyrol and his crew a few months to work. He was still optimistic it might one day happen.

He turned the corner and found himself wandering toward the repair side of the bay. He expected it to be silent and empty. It was a good place to think. He'd found Lee there once before. He suspected Lee spent his fair share of time escaping the world there as well. He climbed down the ladder and smiled at the sight before him, a pair of legs. Realistically, he couldn't have known the legs belonged to his son, but his heart told him it was. He watched quietly and listened. There was however, no noise other than the clang of tools against the bottom of the viper. Adama found it odd. He'd read the ship status report before turning in. Lee's viper, the ship that now covered his son, was listed as fully ready after being down for repairs.

"You don't trust the Chief's repairs?" He said brightly, jumping off the ledge to get closer to his son.

There was no response from Lee.

He sank to the ground, assuming Lee hadn't heard him. "We have crew for this. Pilots can rest now and again." He placed his hand on Lee's leg, not wanting to surprise the intent pilot.

There was still no response.

Concern grew in Adama's heart. Lee had been avoiding him for weeks. Cottle confirmed his son was medically 'alright', but it wasn't enough. He wondered if again, he hadn't failed as a father. Perhaps he shouldn't have allowed his son the space he seemed to desire. Adama stretched out on his back and slid under the ship to settle next to his son.

Lee Adama had absolutely no idea anyone else was present, much less his father. He kept right on working.

"Lee?" Adama reached out and touched his son's hand, but there was absolutely no response. He looked closer at Lee's work and was stunned. He watched his son pull a cable and reconnect it to the wrong terminal. Adama looked closer and saw much of Lee's wiring falsely connected. He shuddered. A control panel would cover the wires and it would never be checked in the preflights. Damage like this would surely cause his son's viper and whoever was flying it to explode in flight.

He slid back out and grabbed Lee's legs, pulling him from under the viper.

Lee's arms still mechanically moved, as if he was still under the viper, creating havoc. It took many moments for his movements to stop.

Adama stared in terror at Lee's glazed over eyes. There was no life, no recognition. His body moved, but Lee's spirit was dead. Straddling his son's prone form, he slapped sharply at Lee's face.

Lee's eyes blinked. He dropped the tools and his hand went to his smarting face. "What? What did you do that for?"

Gone was the vacancy. Instead, Adama met confused, dull blue eyes, focused on him.

"You weren't responding." Adama said, pulling his son into an upright position and settling down next to him. "It scared me."

"So you slapped me? You've been hanging around Kara too long." Lee continued to rub at his chin, wondering at his father's strength, so much for being the son of 'the old man'.

Adama almost laughed at his son's sudden change in nature, but the humor wasn't quite enough to distract him. "What are you doing here and what were you thinking?"

Lee suddenly looked around and fear flooded his eyes. He whispered. "How did I get here?"

It was almost too soft for Adama to hear. "You don't remember coming to the deck?" He asked, concerned.

Lee scanned the room. "I'm on the deck? I was in my rack…" He fell silent and grew more confused.

"So you don't remember rewiring your ship?" Adama pushed on.

Lee glared at him. "Tyrol finally got her up and running. I don't need to do anything."

Adama pointed to the open access panel under the ship. "I just found you messing up the entire guidance system, probably fire control too." He stopped and took a deep breath. "Lee, if you don't want to fly CAP, you need to say so. You don't need to sabotage your ship to avoid duty. Talk to me!"

Lee was stunned. His head sank to his chest and slowly rolled back and forth. He felt a gentle pressure on his shoulder and realized it was his father's hand. He reached up and grasped it with his own. "I don't know."

"Lee, this has gone on too long. Tell me what's wrong."

Lee looked up and met his father's concerned expression. "I don't know. I don't remember coming here. I don't remember working on my ship. I was asleep in my rack and the next thing I know, you're slapping me. That's all I know."

Adama's concern was as palpable as Lee's fear. "Has this happened before?"

Lee nodded slowly. "On the Emerald Drifter and several times here." He looked at his father and an idea suddenly washed over him. "I'm going insane, aren't I? You… You and Cottle knew something was wrong, that's why you've been watching me so closely. Why did you keep it from me? What's wrong with me?"