She stepped outside the house, her nerves kicking in as she saw the lights of her car were already on. She took a deep breath and walked over to the driver's side. Her short black dress felt Katherine short as she came level with the window and leaned down. She hadn't dressed up for him, she told herself. And if she had, it was only to knock that condescending smirk of his face. Her hair was strewn over her shoulders, pale ribbons under the street light, her short black dress hugging her curves, low in the front, high in the hem.
"I'm driving. It's my car" She said shortly and stood back, waiting expectedly for him to get out. The door opened and he got out, his long legs, in dark denim, his impressive torso, one which she couldn't shake from behind her eyes, in a fitted dark polo.
"Just warming it up for you" he murmured, walking past her, his hand resting briefly on her lower back as he passed. She stiffened, before getting into the driver's seat.
As she sat, she felt her dress ride up, and decided to ignore it, shifting into gear and pulling away.
The dark streets passed them on either side, and as always, Matt's music played.
"The word that would best describe this feeling would be, 'Haunted'
I touch the clothes you left behind
That still retain your shape and lines, still haunted"
"I like this… it reminds me of Matt" he said as she drove too fast, goading him to say something. She slowed a little and lanced over at him.
"I didn't think you got much time to listen to music in the army" she remarked. He settled back, the tension she hadn't realised was there melting from his hands as they spread out on his thighs.
"Well, you do have down time, in the night, on watch just the two of you… you can talk, hell, you have to talk, not to go insane."
"What stuff would you talk about?" she asked, in her mind her brother, her dear, sweet Matt, leaning against some crumbling wall in some dusty town, his mouth quirked in a smile as he chatted with Nik.
"Everything, anything. Matt, you know, he could talk about anything and make it funny. We talked about the mission a lot, about home. Stuff we missed. We talked about you…" he said. They were drawing up to Kat's house, the lights blazing in the darkness ahead.
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" she asked, steering the conversation away from her.
"Some" he replied, and was opening the door before she had a chance to enquire further. Okay, she thought to herself as she reached for her bag, before her door was opening, Nik waiting there for her to step out, his hand extended. She bit back the words that she could get out of a car herself, and rested her hand in his, stepping quickly out the car. The contact of his warm fingers sent a jolt through her, a physical snap of consciousness. And she pulled her hand out of his, her eyes avoiding his, which always seemed to be on her.
"Let's go" she muttered, settling her bag on her shoulder and heading toward the house. The music, heavy electro passed over them in waves as they stepped up to the front door and knocked. She was hyper aware of him standing just at her elbow, his presence like an alarm shrieking in her ear. She shifted uncomfortably as his warm skin brushed her arm, and leapt forward as soon as the door swung open.
"Caroline! And you brought… him!" Kats over-enthusiastic cries were partially drowned out by the music as she stepped into the hallway, bathed in neon pink light. She dropped her bag on a pile and headed for the kitchen, the wine wasn't going to cut it anymore.
The kitchen was already packed, and she greeted the people she knew, resisting the urge to look back. She'd brought him to the party, it was enough, she decided, taking a swig of cool beer.
The house was packed, and it was easy to avoid her unwanted guest, as she caught up with people she hadn't seen in a while. All these people, so different from her old friends. These people smoked… smoked everything, actually, they drank and they partied hard and they didn't ask her why she sometimes wanted to disappear. And so she drank with them, as the night wore on, she caught glimpses of Nik, holding a beer in hand, chatting to people, his upright, ridged posture setting him out from the others, slouching stoners and twitching druggies. When she found him, he always seemed to meet her gaze, as though he too had been looking for her. She took a long swing of beer, watched him for a moment, before turning and disappearing into the crowd, time and again.
She didn't know what he wanted from her, why he was there. All she knew was that she felt all kinds of things around him, things she didn't want to. In fact, these days, feeling at all wasn't at the top of her wish list.
She sat in the den, and watched a spliff being passed around. Her head felt a little blurry, her tongue thick. She felt the guy next to her put his arm around her shoulders, and her head felt too heavy to hold up. She noticed Nik in the doorway, saw someone pass him the spliff. She expected him to pass on it, Mr Uptight Army Man. But he didn't. He took a long hit, inhaled it deeply, and let the smoke curl out, his eyes locked on hers. What he was saying with that look, she had no idea, but she couldn't look away. He walked over to her, and stood beside her until the guy whose shoulder she'd been resting on moved, and he sat down beside her. Her body vacillated between the closest contact they'd ever had, propelling her away, while another part drew her closer.
He passed her the spliff and she looked at him questioningly, was it some kind of test, something he could go home to Liz with, something to hold over her. As she hesitated, he gently placed it on her lip. Her eyes were locked into her, and she felt as though her heart was beating lethargically. She closed her lips around the end and inhaled. The end glowed red into the darkness, lighting his blue eyes as they stayed fastened on her mouth. She slowly exhaled, waiting for some kind of buzz to fall on her, and watched as his fascinated gaze finally pulled away, and he leant over her to hand the split to the next person, bringing the back of his neck before her face. It was smooth and tanned, and she had the oddest urge to bite it. Shaking her head to dispel the drugs and the heavy fog that seemed to have descended on her, she took a deep breath, and struggled to get up. Her hand, uncoordinated and unsteady gripped his thigh as she pushed her herself to her feet.
"Caroline, where are you going?" he asked, grabbing one of her hands as she swayed past him.
"Nowhere, wherever" she muttered, shaking off his hand and heading for the hallway, ignoring the way it was spinning before her. She walked down it, concentrating on putting one foot after the other, her hand holding on to the wall for support, before she reached her objective. The patio doors opened easily, and she slipped out, gulping down the fresh cool air of the garden, wobbling over to a stone bench in the back and dropping heavily onto it. She leaned forward and propped her head on her hands. Her head was starting to pound, and she massaged her temples, breathing as much fresh air as she could.
"Caroline?" a voice called and she stiffened, looked up warily.
"Tyler?" she asked uncertainly. Tyler Lockwood did not associate with any of the people at this party, except her, and that was all in the past.
"Christ, are you alright?" he asked as he sank down in front of her.
"I'm fine. What are you doing here?"
"Looking for you… I thought we could talk" he said, and she felt his fingers pulling her hair off the back of her neck and around the side.
"What about?" she muttered hazily, wondering idly if she was going to throw-up.
"Well… I haven't seen you around… and… I miss you" he said, and her head shot up, a movement that caused her dizziness to intensify.
"When we broke up, I thought if I gave you a little time, to figure stuff out, then we could, you know… maybe try again." He was saying, sitting beside her on the bench now as she concentrated on counting blades of grass in order not to pass out.
"I don't think that's a good idea… and you didn't have to come here, you could just have called" she said.
"I have called, you never answer your phone, I thought you were still in mourning or whatever, then I get word that you're going to parties and stuff… I guess you're not too broken up anymore" his harsh words cut through the fog in her brain, and she pushed his hand, which had been inching on to her leg away.
"You just don't get it, do you Tyler? And you never did, so just leave me alone" she whispered, feeling tears start to threaten.
"Let me take you home, you're drunk" he said, his condescending tone grating her even more.
"I believe Caroline wants you to leave" Nik's voice cut through the pounding in her head, and glanced up to see him looking over Tyler, as her ex's face was already distorting into a sneer.
"And who the fuck would you be?" he asked in an aggressive tone, standing up to stake his claim.
"A friend of the family's" Nik said, his voice unperturbed by Tyler's little display of dominance. She felt like she should warn him, say something to stop Tyler from doing something stupid and getting hurt.
"Yeah, well, I'm her boyfriend, so fuck off" Tyler said, getting in Nik's face, his hands going to his chest, where he gave him the smallest shove backwards. Nik didn't step back, only swayed slightly, before stepping to the side, while his hand went to the back of Tyler's neck, and he smashed the side of his head into the wall beside them. It was ruthlessly efficient, a crushing blow delivered without emotion, with complete precision. Caroline gave a cry, as her head shot up, seeing Nik looking coldly and dispassionately down at Tyler who was holding his head, blood seeping between his fingers as he moaned on the floor.
"What are you doing?" she demanded, standing up too fast and swaying against Nik as he appeared by her side, his arm going under her shoulders.
"Taking you home, sweetheart" he said as he started them toward the door. Caroline glanced back at Tyler, feeling as though she should be more concerned, but barely able to get enough emotion up to care.
"Caroline, can you walk?" Nik was asking, his blue gaze hovering near her face, and she felt her head shaking, before everything went black, his concerned frown the last thing she saw.
He drove them home slowly, knowing he was over the limit, even if he didn't feel it, listening to Matt's mixed tape the whole way. The orange street lamps slid fingers of colour over Caroline as she slept in the back seat, but he didn't allow himself to look. Didn't allow himself to see her pale flawless skin against the shadows, or the way her fingertips kept reaching out for something. Didn't allow himself to listen to the things she whispered in her dreams.
He pulled up to the Forbes house and shut off the engine, silence flooding into the car. He could hear her breathing in the back, even and deeply, he could hear her heart, beating strongly and the blood following through her veins. His. All his.
He pulled a phone from his pocket, and pulled up an email, quickly typing in the darkness, pausing only when her breath hitched.
Contact established. Target identified and mission underway. Update soon.
Sending the mail off into the ether, he got out the car and opened the back door, reaching in to gently pull her out. She was warm, and as her hand drifted around his neck, her head snuggling into the hollow between his chin and shoulder, her hair ticking his skin, he breathed her in, god, she was soft. His hand cupped her thighs as he held her close against his chest. His prize. He started toward the house with her. It did no one any good to be too sentimental now, too gentle with her, and yet, he couldn't seem to stop himself. He walked soundlessly down the silent hall and opened the door to her room. Setting down on the bed, he resisted the urge to make her more comfortable. It was important she not be scared of him, not just yet. She moaned in her sleep and he drew his arm out from behind her beck, and her eyes flickered open a moment, before closing again, a sweet smile curling the corners of her pink lips, before she slipped back into sleep.
He stood there, watching her for a long while, completely still. He envied her sleep, her dreams, her innocence. He envied it and he cherished it all at once. When she started to move in her sleep, and her short dress started to ride up, he left. Returned to his cold and empty room alone, and sat on the end of his bed, without turning on the light.
He settled into his standard sitting position, hands resting lightly on his knees, legs bent at 90 degrees, ready for action, and waited. He waited for morning, his mind slowly emptying as he did, his version of sleep slowly creeping over him as bit by bit thoughts of her smile, the blue of eyes, the sharpness of her laugh and wild sense of possession that the thoughts accompanied, slowly ebbed to a quiet need.
In that thoughtless void, he waited for morning.