Author's note: I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU to those of you who gave reviews of the first two chapters I posted last week. I really appreciate it! Your reviews have really encouraged me to go on with this story. Writing this has been a real labor of love for me so far (I've been having so much fun with all this angst! XD), and I really hope you enjoy the following chapter. Also, just as a sidenote, I'm going on vacation in a few days and won't be back until early next week, so there's a chance that I won't post Chapter 4 until after I get back. But with any luck, I'll be able to post it in a few days before I leave. :) In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter! XOXO

The midmorning sun broke through a passing cloud and shot dust-covered beams through Chandler's office window, hitting the side of his face. The sudden burst of light jolted him and he quickly rose from his desk to close the blinds. He'd managed to get only two or three hours of sleep the night before and he sensed that it was beginning to show in the way that his eyes felt red and sticky. He had spent most of the night lying in bed, watching the stainless steel ceiling fan sweep shadows across the room as he replayed in his mind the encounter he'd had with Kent earlier that evening in the pub.

He had tried to think of every possible reason as to why Kent disliked him so much. But the more he tried to find that reason, the more frustrated and desperate he became. He'd had arguments with other people with whom he'd worked on numerous occasions; but for some strange reason, none had ever upset him as much as this did.

And for the life of him, he couldn't understand why.

Why am I bloody reacting like this?! For god's sake, Kent! Please just tell me what I bloody did!

A dull, pulsing pain suddenly began to throb against Chandler's temples. He shut his eyes and tried to will the feeling away, but he knew it was coming.

Chandler instinctively reached for the rubber band on his wrist, but all he felt was bare flesh. There was nothing there anymore to shield him as that all-too familiar creeping sensation began to slither its way up his arms and the back of his neck as he felt his heart begin to pound heavily against his ribs. He'd often wondered if this was what a heart attack must have felt like.

With his shaking hands, Chandler clumsily reached for the tub of Tiger Balm at the edge of his desk and swiped his fingers against the warm ointment. He clenched his eyes shut and concentrated on rubbing the cream against his temples, trying to extinguish the thoughts that pervaded his mind. He was angry. Not only at himself for having allowed this to go on unresolved, but he was also angry at Kent. It seemed that no matter how hard he tried to make amends with his DC, it wasn't enough. Why did Kent have to make things so bloody difficult by continuing to punish him this way? Did his apology count for nothing?

Stop obsessing over this, you bloody idiot!

Just then, Riley knocked on his office door and let herself in. "Sir, I have those reports you inquired about—."

She immediately took a step back and held the documents close to her chest. "Is everything all right, sir?" she asked carefully. "Are you feeling ill?"

"No, everything's fine. Shut the door, will you?"

Riley did as she was asked and approached his desk guardedly before setting the papers down before him. "Here are those forms regarding the trafficking case from last week. I did manage to contact the shop owner, but he's refusing to talk. My guess is that he's being leaned on by a few of Melekhov's men and I don't think we can get a statement from him unless we're willing to offer protection."

Chandler shot up an angry glare at her. "Well that's out of the bloody question. We're not in the business of babysitting witnesses! If someone's not willing to talk, then we'll just have to find another route now, won't we!" Chandler immediately bit his tongue and dropped his eyes back down to his desk.

Riley, completely taken back by this outburst, stepped back cautiously. "Okay sir, I'll see what I can do," she replied.

"I'm sorry. Let's just see if we can have another attempt with him," Chandler quietly. Riley nodded silently and turned to leave.

"Riley, wait. I need to talk to you about Kent." Chandler stood up and gestured at the chair on the other side of his desk. "Please, sit down for a moment."

Reluctantly taking his cue, she sat down and faced him. "What did you want to talk about, sir?"

"I know that something's been bothering Kent quite a lot lately, and I have the feeling that it has something to do with me. Has he spoken to you at all about this?"

Riley hesitated a moment and took a deep breath before answering. "Sir, I have spoken to Kent and he's just been going through a rough time right now. He just needs time to sort himself out."

"Well, what is it? Have I done something to upset him that I'm not aware of?!"

Riley tried to interject, but Chandler continued on, "I can't allow this kind of behavior to go on in my office. It's not productive and it's got to stop—"

"Sir, please," she finally interrupted. "Allow me to handle this. It's not anything that you've done. He just…" Riley hesitated momentarily, trying to find the right words to say. "He needs space for a short while. I'll keep an eye on him. But please… allow me to handle this."

"With all due respect, Riley, I'm afraid that's not good enough," Chandler shot back. "As his employer, I'm entitled to know if there's an ongoing problem that needs to be addressed. Especially if it has something to do with me."

"If you don't mind my asking sir, what makes you think this has anything to do with you?" Riley asked curiously.

"Well, maybe it has something to do with the fact that lately he's been avoiding me like the plague!" Chandler replied sarcastically. "He goes out of his way to ignore me, and he's letting it affect his work performance. He doesn't behave like this toward anyone else in the station, so it must be something I've done! If he's not happy working here or working for me, then he needs to be upfront with me about it."

"I promise you that it's not a work-related matter. If it was something that had to do with the job, then I'd be the first to tell you. But this is a private matter he's dealing with and I wouldn't feel right if I were to break his confidence."

Chandler returned his attention to his desk and began to organize the papers in front of him into neat piles. "Please tell Kent that I'd like a word," he stated coldly.

"But sir—"

"Thank you, Riley." He glanced up at her with a look that told her he was finished having this conversation.

Riley stood up reluctantly and walked toward the door, before turning around to face her boss. "Um… sir, if you do insist on talking to him, can I ask you a very important favor?"

"What is it?" Chandler replied without looking up from his paperwork.

"That no matter what Kent may tell you, you'll still treat him with dignity and tact?"

Chandler immediately looked up at her with a perplexed and slightly defensive look. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Please just trust me about this, sir. For Kent's sake."

Kent looked up from his computer screen to see Riley walk away from Chandler's office and reluctantly approach his desk. The look in her eyes said it all and he immediately felt a nervous pit begin to grow in his stomach.

"The boss would like a word with you," she stated professionally with a forced smile. Kent felt his hands immediately begin to shake as he rose from his desk cautiously.

"What does he want?" he asked in a panicked whisper.

"Everything's going to be fine," she replied quietly as she gave his arm a light squeeze. "We can have a chat about it later."

Riley left him standing alone next to his desk as she returned to her own. Kent stared at his DI's open office door and licked his lips nervously in spite of his increasingly dried mouth. He was almost sure that everyone else in the room could hear his thumping heart despite all of the incidental noise filling the area. He reluctantly began the long walk from his desk to Chandler's door and stuck his shaking hands in his trouser pockets in case anybody noticed his nervousness.

"Um… you wanted to see me, sir?" he tapped lightly on the open door.

"Come in and shut the door, Kent," Chandler replied without looking up from his paperwork. "Sit down."

Kent did as he was told and took the seat in front of Chandler's desk. In spite of how nervous he was, he couldn't help but notice that the seat was still warm from Riley's previous visit. This gave him a small but surprising moment of comfort as he waited for his DI to speak. Chandler continued to silently flip through his paperwork while Kent stared at him intently.

"I think we need to talk about what's been happening between us lately," Chandler finally said as he looked up at Kent sitting across from him. "I'm going to be very direct. I don't know why you're angry with me, but for the sake of our working relationship, we've got to clear this up immediately so that we can move on. If I've said or done anything to offend you, then I'm sorry. But you've also got to do your part by giving me the benefit of a doubt."

"What makes you think that I'm angry with you, sir? Kent asked, trying his best to sound nonchalant and oblivious as to where Chandler was leading the conversation.

"Something's obviously not right between us, Kent. I can sense it in the way we've been interacting lately. I don't know what I did to upset you but I know that you're angry with me about something and I want to get this resolved immediately." Chandler paused momentarily in thought, and continued, "The last thing in the world that I want is to be your enemy. I value you probably more than anybody else on our team and I don't want to jeopardize that. Will you please just tell me what it is that you're unhappy about?"

Kent could feel a distinct lump forming in his throat. He looked down at his lap and tried to calm the thoughts that were racing through his head. "Please, sir…. It's got nothing to do with you. I just… I don't know what's wrong with me. I just need to sort myself out."

Chandler's eyes glazed over as he studied the constable's face. "Please don't patronize me, Kent. It's obvious that I've done something to upset you because I've noticed that you don't behave like this toward anybody else in the station except me."

Kent continued to look down at his hands. He didn't dare look up to meet Chandler's eyes, afraid what he'd see in them. "Please sir, I would really rather not talk about it. You wouldn't understand…"

"Why wouldn't I understand?! If I've done something wrong, then I deserve to know about it so I can correct it. You're not being fair to me, Kent."

Kent looked up almost immediately in shock. I'm not being fair to you?! Do you have any fucking idea what I'm going through because of you?!…

Chandler continued, seemingly unaware of Kent's shocked expression, "Now, if this has something to do with… with what happened a few months ago, then I'm sorry. But I was hoping that we'd be able to move beyond that by now."

"It's got nothing to do with her," Kent replied coldly, returning his gaze to his lap.

Chandler felt a sting shoot through his nerves and he could sense the heat begin to rise from beneath his collar. It took all the strength he had to ignore that last remark. "Well then what the hell is it?!"

Kent took a deep breath and looked Chandler directly in the eyes. "It's none of your business."

Chandler immediately turned red in the face and clenched his jaw. "Well, if you're not going to tell me what this is all about, then maybe it would be wise to start considering a transfer to another department. I can't have an employee who refuses to show me respect."

Kent felt like he had the wind punched out of him. He clenched his jaw and jumped up from his chair.

"And I can't work for a boss who—", Kent caught himself before he could say anything further as he looked incredulously at Chandler. He could feel the sting of tears forming in his eyes but he didn't care. The older man simply sat before him in shock and confusion. "If you want me gone, then you just got your fucking wish!"

Kent bounded for the door and flung it open before rushing out, leaving a stunned Chandler sitting alone in his office. He felt dizzy and short of breath as he raced past his desk, grabbing his jacket off of the back of his chair and rushed out the incident room doors without even a passing glance at any of the bewildered eyes that followed him.

"What the bloody hell was that all about?!" Mansell declared loudly as the glass doors slammed at the other end of the room.

"Just leave it," Riley replied as she picked up her purse and rushed out behind Kent.

Chandler sat at his desk in stunned silence, staring blankly out at the half-empty incident room. A sudden tear escaped his eye which he quickly wiped away with the back of his trembling hand.

Riley charged through the door leading out to the station's courtyard and found Kent frantically attempting to start his scooter. Tears were pouring down his face and he was hyperventilating.

"Kent… Wait! What happened in there?"

"I… I've got to go," he replied between sobs. "He told me I should transfer to another department. I can't believe this is happening!"

"You told him how you felt and he said you should transfer out?!" Riley exclaimed.

"No, I didn't tell him that. He tried to make me tell him what was wrong, and I… I couldn't. I'm afraid I just blew up at him. I can't believe I did that."

Kent buried his face against the crook of her neck as she wrapped her arms around him.

"He'll never forgive me for this!" he sobbed into her shoulder as she tried to soothe him.

"Come on, love. Let's go for a drive and talk this out. You're not transferring anywhere. Not if I have anything to do with it."

"I just want to go home," Kent pleaded.

"Rubbish! You're not going to go home and stew about this. We're going to have a good, long chat and figure out how to get this sorted out."

Kent reluctantly dismounted from his scooter and followed Riley to her car. They drove around the East End for a few moments in silence before Riley found a half-empty car-park which she pulled into. After a few moments of prodding, she finally got Kent to open up about his exchange with Chandler.

"I just don't know what I'm going to do," Kent sighed after his tears subsided. "This all feels like a bad dream."

Riley gazed out her car window in silent thought.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, noticing Riley's preoccupied expression. "Am I being a complete idiot?!"

She turned back to face him with a look of concern. "No, of course you're not, love. But can I be completely honest with you? I think you need to let go. For your own sake. Millions of people have gone through the same feelings you're experiencing right now, and they've all survived it. And I know you will too."

Kent focused his gaze at the dashboard in front of him. Deep down inside, he knew he was being ridiculous and childish. Riley was right. He needed to let go. He was exhausted from being unhappy and alone, hoping each day that Chandler would finally realize how much Kent loved him. The sudden realization that he was being immature and selfish made him cringe with shame and embarrassment.

Kent sighed and replied quietly, "You're right. It's no use… I can't go on like this. But what am I going to do from here? As far as my job goes, I've practically forced myself out the bloody door."

"Just give things a few days to settle down. You both said things you didn't mean, and I'm sure he'll realize that in no time. He values your work, Kent… I know that for a fact. He doesn't want to lose you."

Kent gazed out the window blankly and thought about Chandler. Seeing the man's face in his mind gave him a burning but sweet pain in his heart that he couldn't quench. The thought of letting go seemed impossible, but he knew he didn't have any other choice. If he was ever going to be happy again, he needed to move on.

"Do you think I should apologize to him?" Kent turned to Riley and asked.

"I think you should just let things take their course. Give him a few days to sort himself out. But if you really think it will make you feel better and help you move on, then by all means, I think you should," she replied with a warm smile.

Just then, the muffled ring of her mobile phone broke through the silence. Riley reached into her purse and answered it. Kent could hear Mansell's barely audible voice on the other end as Riley nodded and wrote an address on a piece of scrap paper.

"Yes, he's here with me," she said. "Okay…we'll meet you there in five or ten minutes. Cheers."

"What was that about?" Kent asked as he inspected his reddened eyes in the side view mirror.

"They've found the body of a young man about a mile away from here. It looks like a fatal beating. We've got to go meet Miles and the boss at the scene," she replied before turning to look at Kent carefully. "Are you going to be all right?"

"I hope so. Let's just get this over with."

"What's this I hear about you having a big dust-up with Kent?" Miles asked Chandler as they drove together to the crime scene.

Chandler let out a heavy sigh. "I don't know, Miles. I'm afraid I've made a terrible mistake. I kept pushing him and pushing him to tell me what he's been upset about, but I should have just let it go. It was obviously none of my business."

"Well, just give it a few days, boss, and I'm sure it'll blow over. If anyone can forgive you, it'll be that lad."

Chandler shut his eyes and brushed his fingers over his bare wrist. "I'm afraid it's not as simple as that. I told him that I thought it would be best if he transferred to another unit."

Miles shot him a surprised look. "What in bloody hell made you say that?!"

"I was upset!" Chandler exclaimed as he turned his gaze toward the passing buildings outside the car. "I wasn't thinking properly. I should have just allowed Riley to handle it like she suggested."

"Well, you better sort this out. Kent's the best we've got!"

"I'm well aware of that, Miles. I can't lose him. I don't know what I'd do..."

Chandler stared blankly out the window as he thought about the look on Kent's face. The pain and hurt he saw in the young man's eyes was something he'd never seen before in anybody's. Kent would never forgive him. He was sure of it.

Why couldn't I just let it go? Why did it have to go this bloody far?

Miles pulled to a stop at a traffic light and glanced over at Chandler, noticing the obvious distress on the detective's face. "Listen, boss… It can't be as bad as all that. Just apologize to him and tell him you didn't mean it. Kent's a sensible lad. He thinks the world of you and if he knows you didn't mean what you said, then he's bound to forgive and forget."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Oh, come off it! That lad would roll over and play dead if you told him to. You know it as well as I do."

"I wish I could be so sure…" Chandler said to himself thoughtfully.

After a few moments of silence, Chandler turned to his sergeant. "Miles… can I ask you a question? Do you think I'm a good employer to work for?"

Miles glanced back at him in amusement. "Well… apart from your, shall we say, idiosyncrasies…" he replied sarcastically, "I'd say you're top-notch. I mean that. But don't take my word for it. We all feel that way."

Chandler didn't reply. He simply stared at the road in front of him in thought as Miles continued on, "Especially Kent. I can tell just by the way he looks at you. That lad thinks you're a real hero."

Chandler shut his eyes in pain. He didn't feel like much of a hero anymore.

The crime scene was located in an alleyway just off a dingy street in the one of the seediest areas in Whitechapel. Riley and Kent got of out their car and quickly walked passed a dingy sex shop which featured tacky lingerie and leather gear in its small row of windows. Squad cars lined the narrow street and a crowd of onlookers was steadily growing behind the yellow crime tape that stretched around the perimeter of the area. The stench of urine and rotting garbage became more overpowering with each step as they approached Mansell, who was waiting for them near the mouth of the alleyway.

"Oi, mate! I hear you really gave it to the boss back at the station. What did he do? Demote you down to Buchan's office boy?"

"Bug off, you little dick," Riley shot back with a scathing glare as Kent simply ignored him.

Mansell continued on, seemingly unperturbed. "You two made it just in time. Looks like a beating with homophobic intent. Basically your everyday bias crime. The boss and Skip are already back there having a look," Mansell gestured behind himself, "But they want us to go 'round and take statements."

Kent's muscles suddenly stiffened in response to what Mansell said.

"Come on, lass," Mansell directed toward Riley, "Let's go have a chat with some shop owners."

Riley gave Kent a concerned look before she proceeded to follow Mansell toward the shops up the street. Kent watched her go and then nervously directed his gaze down the alleyway toward the group of policemen and crime scene technicians crowded near a collection of dust bins at the other end. He noticed Chandler squatting down near a pair of lifeless legs protruding out from behind the bins. Miles, standing over him, turned his attention down the alleyway toward Kent and signaled him to join them at the other end.

Kent would have given anything not to obey the sergeant at that moment. Not only was he terrified to face Chandler, but he was even more afraid to see what happened to the victim. These particular kinds of cases hit a little too close to home and he often couldn't help but be haunted by the thought that this type of thing could just as easily happen to him. He always made it a practice of being discreet when he was out in public with his mates because he was all too aware of the raging hate that still existed in certain parts of the city. But he was still afraid nonetheless of the possible dangers people like him faced on a daily basis.

Kent was shaken out of his thoughts when he noticed Miles gesture toward him again and he reluctantly made his way down the filthy alleyway. As he approached, Miles gave him a friendly, mindful nod before returning his attention to Chandler but Kent stopped immediately in his tracks as the DI glanced up at him and their eyes met. Chandler's momentary gaze made Kent uneasy and he immediately turned his attention to the victim lying on the ground before them.

The face of the victim was completely battered beyond recognition and there was blood and bits of flesh splattered almost three feet up the wall. Kent immediately became nauseous and began to feel a nervous tension in the pit of his stomach. The thoughts that flashed into his mind of what this poor bloke must have suffered mixed with the sight of the carnage and the stench of the alleyway repelled him to the extent that he almost instinctively backed away. He clumsily bumped passed a police technician and made his way toward the entrance of the alleyway.

Unable to steady his legs, Kent stopped halfway near the entrance of the alley and squatted down against the wall. He couldn't get the look of the victim's bloody face nor the look of Chandler's stare out of his head. This dual assault on his senses was almost more than he could handle at the moment.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kent sensed something move slowly from behind a bag of garbage and he heard a soft meow. A filthy-looking cat emerged and cautiously walked up to him before sliding its body against his leg and purring quietly. Kent reached into his jacket pocket for a stray piece of biscuit and offered it to the cat, which gingerly nibbled at it right out of his hand. Kent was surprised at how soothing and comforting to his nerves this brief moment was.

"Johnson, be sure not to forget to take these dustbins back to the lab with you" Chandler directed to one of the technicians as he rose to his feet. "I want the contents analyzed fully for any evidence."

"Well, it looks pretty straight-forward, if you ask me," Miles declared. "Poor bloke must have run into the wrong crowd."

"I'd still like to keep an open mind about any other possible moti—" Chandler stopped and distractedly glanced over Miles' shoulder toward Kent. He observed the young detective kneeling on the ground and gently petting a stray cat while feeding it out of his hand. The scene was oddly touching and Chandler detected a strange warm feeling come over him inside. The sight of his constable caring for a defenseless creature like that in a place where something so cruel and vicious had just taken place made him feel inexplicably protective toward his subordinate.

Noticing Chandler's attention distracted elsewhere, Miles turned around to follow the detective's gaze. "Oi, what's he doing over there? This isn't a bloody petting zoo!"

"Just let him be, Miles," Chandler replied quietly.