I am still sorry! I am shrugging my responsibility for my main fic but the plot bunnies have me tied to my chair and I am being forced. I really hope that I wont need to remind you that all reviews are welcome. Yes? I promise that I will add another chapter to 'why does this always happen to me?' soon and I promise that this fic will be finished soon and that I will slam these darned plot bunnies into the floor and they wont bug me for a while. only one more chapter after this now *tears*
Love you my fans *Wink*
Why would you do this now?
Arthur ran around the castle, searching every alleyway, alcove and tapestry for his incompetent manservant. After searching everywhere for Merlin he decided to give it a rest. Perhaps Merlin was missing for a reason. Perhaps he didn't want to be found. This wouldn't surprise Arthur if Merlin only wanted alone time. Everyday since Arthur had met Merlin he saw the glint in his eye slowly go duller and duller. He watched as Merlin got lower and lower. He watched as he put up a facade when he was around everyone but when he thought no one was watching he would take it down only to reveal his true raw emotions. Arthur felt he knew why Merlin was acting like this. He thought it was because of the things that Merlin had been through, the things he had seen, battles and fights, betrayal and loss all resided somewhere deep inside his goofy, happy -dare he admit it- friend. But Arthur knew nothing of the goings on inside the young warlocks mind.
After an unsuccessful search, he decide to turn in. Although he was filled with dread and worry and thoughts turning for the worst, he headed towards his undoubtedly Merlin-less chambers. He was almost at the set of stairs leading up towards the royal chambers, when he heard a frighteningly familiar scream. Gwen? What was Gwen screaming about. That's when he heard the words he hadn't prepared himself for. "He's going to jump! Someone get him down!". Oh No. No it can be... It cant be Merlin. He ran as quickly as his feet could carry him to the courtyard. He arrived only to be late and seeing someone fall from the great heights.
Arthur couldn't remember when he started running again, all he could remember was the crunch of someone, Merlin, colliding with the hard cobblestones down below and running towards them. He was nearing the corpse and he stopped. No. It's all far too real. Why would he wan't to? He feel to his knees next to his friend. His brother even. and gently picked his bloodied and limp body and cradled it next to his chest. Oh gods the blood. The blood was everywhere. On the streets. On himself. On Merlin. Everything was now a blur. He didn't remember calling for Gaius. He didn't remember hold Gaius close as he watched his ward on the ground, broken, dead. He didn't remember carrying the corpse back to his chambers. He didn't want to remember any of it. It would make this all real.
Gaius cleaned Merlin up and changed his soiled clothing. Arthur felt his heart stop when he saw the young boys forearms. Written in cuts, in his own hand where awful, horrible words. Is this what Merlin had thought of himself. He thought himself Evil, a monster, vile, a freak. No. No this can't be, not Merlin, the boy who didn't have an ounce of hate in his body. Not Merlin who could never be a monster or a freak. He screamed out of frustration and left. He had to calm down before he punched something. The tears he had been trying to subdue where finally falling. His eyes were irritated and red.
he started walking, walking anywhere as long as he could get his mind off of what had happened. He walked aimlessly for about an hour until he found himself at the top of that awful tower. The one that Merlin had thrown himself off of. The sight made Arthur sick to his stomach. There was more blood on the floor. More of Merlin's blood had been spilled. The tool of choice, the dagger Arthur had given him for self defense. He gagged at the sight. He was about to leave and run to his chambers when he caught sight of a small envelope on the ground near the edge. He looked closer at it, whilst trying to avoid the puddles of Merlin's blood staining the floor.
Arthur looked closer and he almost fell over in shock. The envelope had Arthur's name inscribed on it. In Merlin's hand. This was his goodbye. He picked up the small letter and pushed it into one of his pockets and left. Never looking back. Just walking to his chambers as if nothing had ever happened and that Merlin was about to walk through the door any moment now. Arthur reached into his pocket and pulled out the small letter and opened it and began to read.