Pardon my temporary death. See Loyalty Chapter 3 forenote for more details on death.
Iruka tentatively knocked on the tattered door of Hidan's room. Their makeshift "do not disturb" sign still hung crookedly from a small thumbtack in one of the door's cracks. Iruka smiled to himself and grabbed for the sign, but the door swung open before he could reach it.
"What?" the greedy missing-nin asked impatiently, standing imposingly in the doorway with his hands balled into fists and a scowl written on his features.
"Uh..." Iruka stuttered. "Hi, Kakuzu," he said with a meek, little wave.
"Out with it," Kakuzu commanded.
Iruka recoiled from the man slightly but held his ground, "Um, you haven't seen Hidan around, have you?"
Kakuzu grumbled, "figures," before nodding toward the other side of the bedroom. Iruka tried to move past him, but the Akatsuki member just stood there and glared at him.
Iruka rubbed the back of his neck nervously and tried to muster up the courage to ask the older man to move aside, but all that came out was, "uhh." He could hear the Jashinist muttering profanities and complaining about something or the other. So close, but so far away. But, suddenly, a lamp was hurled at Kakuzu's head. The large man dodged it with ease, letting it shatter against the wall.
"Stop being a dick, Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled, appearing in the doorway. He turned to the chuunin, now smiling. "So, what did Leader-sama say?"
Iruka walked into the room, being sure to keep Hidan between himself and Kakuzu. He noticed the bed was back in it's original spot, though the condition of it didn't look promising, and the table and other surrounding objects were strewn across Hidan's side of the room. He took a seat on the bed, bracing himself in case the steel frame gave way and collapsed under him. Hidan jumped onto the bed and sat across from him. Iruka shook his head and smiled at the man's carelessness. "How'd you get the bed out of the bathroom?" Iruka asked.
"I got skills," the Jashinist replied smugly.
"Yeah, you got skills alright," Kakuzu mocked. "Skills at breaking the toilet and tearing a chunk out of the wall."
"I got it out, didn't I?" Hidan retorted. "So..." he continued, turning again to Iruka. "Pein-sama said..."
"He is taking me back to Konoha tomorrow. He said you guys are going to come the next week and meet us there," Iruka replied.
Hidan frowned. "But... but... Why can't you just stay here?"
"I've got a job to do. Besides, it's only a week," Iruka replied.
"A whole week?" the Jashinist pouted. "What the hell am I supposed to do until then? Hang out with these fucking heathens all day?" he asked, seemingly appalled by the notion.
Iruka laughed under his breath. "Well, you could come with me tomorrow."
"Pfft. You're just trying to get out of going to Konoha with Leader-sama alone, chicken-shit," Hidan retorted.
Kakuzu laughed and peered over the book he had been reading. "You're not as dumb as you look, Hidan. Which isn't really saying much considering that you look like a brain-dead rodent," he said, returning to the novel.
"Shut the fuck up, Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled, flipping him the bird for good measure. Kakuzu merely turned the page in his book and ignored him.
"Can you blame me?" Iruka asked. "He's intimidating."
"I guess." Hidan shrugged. He grabbed Iruka's hand and got off the bed, leading the chuunin outside. "Speaking of which, what did he say about fucking?"
Iruka blushed and scanned the hallways for eavesdroppers. "I... um... He... I don't know."
"You didn't even ask him, did you?" Hidan scolded.
Iruka shook his head, strangely feeling guilty for disappointing the Jashinist.
Hidan sighed but didn't press the matter. He led the chuunin to the Akatsuki common room and grabbed his cloak off the table. He turned toward the labyrinth of hallways and doors that was the Akatsuki headquarters and announced to his comrades, "Hey, you fucking heathens!"
Deidara threw the kitchen door open and asked, "What do you want, you artless, loudmouthed idiot?"
"We're going to the bar. Want to come?" Hidan asked bluntly.
"We are?" Iruka asked.
Hidan nodded. "Of course we are. It's your going away party." He grabbed the chuunin's hand and led him out the door. Kakuzu, Sasori, Deidara, and Tobi followed closely behind.
There was a steady downpour in Amegakure which the group hardly noticed. The warm rain was actually quite soothing and cast a glistening aura across the village, emboldened by golden illumination of house lights and street lamps. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits. With drunkenness and festivities near at hand, it was hard to be pessimistic.
The group strolled into the local bar, earning a few glances, but otherwise fitting right in with the crowd. After convincing Kakuzu that paying a few ryou for alcoholic beverage would not, in fact, kill him, the Akatsuki members fell into the welcoming arms of debauchery. It wasn't long until they were happily, stupidly drunk.
"C'mon 'Ruka, just one more?" Hidan begged, sitting at the bar and holding a glass of sake under Iruka's nose.
Iruka smiled but denied for about the eightieth time. "I have to leave tomorrow. I don't want to have a hangover."
Hidan pouted. "You've only had two," he said, holding up three fingers.
"I know," Iruka agreed. "I'm a lightweight. Besides, who's going to make sure all you guys get home safely?"
"Ha! They're... stupid anyway," Hidan slurred. He pointed to Tobi who was drawing pictures on the dartboard while people were trying to play. "See?"
"Oh, no." Iruka sighed. He started for Tobi, but felt a hand grab for his and pull him in the other direction.
"I have a better idea," Hidan stated before leading the chuunin into a backroom of the bar. He pushed Iruka up against one of the shelves that lined the small room. What was on them, Iruka could hardly tell. The room only had one window which only allowed a small crack of light to seep through. He could only make out the shelves and a table they had bumped into on their way in. With the Jashinist now placing kisses along his neck and cheek, he lost all concentration, closing his eyes and pulling the silver-haired man in closer.
Hidan wrapped a hand around the back of Iruka's neck and pulled him into a kiss. Iruka obliged by parting his lips and allowing the Jashinist's tongue to explore his mouth. He could taste the sake on Hidan's breath and on his soft lips as the kiss intensified. He pushed the Akatsuki cloak aside and wrapped his arms around the Jashinist's torso, feeling the warmth of Hidan's body.
Hidan picked him up abruptly and, setting Iruka on the small table, crawled on top of him, legs straddling the chuunin's hips. He returned to placing soft kisses on the Iruka's tan neck and began pulling off his flak vest and shirt.
A soft thud sounded on the door and muffled voices echoed from outside. Hidan ignored it, but Iruka shot up, shooing the caressing hands away.
Hidan grumbled impatiently. "What?"
"They could walk in," Iruka pleaded.
"So?" Hidan replied casually, again trying to strip the chuunin of his remaining clothes.
Iruka held his pants in place and sighed. "What do you mean 'so'? It makes me uncomfortable."
Hidan sat back and just stared at the chuunin under him, looking a bit confused. "Why?"
"I don't want them to see me naked. Or, you know... making love," Iruka said, blushing noticeably, even in the dark room.
"You mean fucking?" Hidan replied loudly.
Iruka rolled his eyes. "Yeah, fucking." He paused, looking quizzically at the Jashinist. "You've never felt uncomfortable before in, you know, an intimate position?"
Hidan just stared at him again, confused.
"Fucking," Iruka said bluntly.
Hidan shook his head.
"Okay. But what if you were in a position you didn't like or with someone you didn't like?"
Hidan gasped in shock. "Tentacle rape," he whispered, then shuddered.
"What?"
"I had a dream one night about being raped by Kakuzu's tentacles. Scarred me for life."
Iruka just gaped at him. "Uhh... Wow. Why? … Did..."
Hidan recoiled and shook his head. "Ew, no. I, in the dream, was talking with Kakuzu, right? And he said we needed some extra money, fucking greedy-ass heathen that he is. So he said I had to join this weird ass circus-show-thing with him. There were like, two-headed lions and demon fairies fights as part of the show. And the bathrooms were gross," he said, using hand gestures to illustrate his points. "And we were the stars. But as part of the show, he sexed me with his tentaclies," he said, raising an eyebrow. "It was weird."
"Uhuh," Iruka muttered, still staring at the Jashinist in shock. "You... and... Kakuzu."
"Fuck you. It was terrifying," Hidan retorted, crossing his arms and pouting.
Iruka smirked. "Well, see? It made you uncomfortable. This makes me uncomfortable."
"I'm not going to rape you with Kakuzu's tentacles, Iruka," Hidan stated somewhat seriously.
Iruka just shook his head and sighed. Hidan grabbed Iruka's clothes and his own cloak. He pulled them over the chuunin's head and draped the Akatsuki cloak around his own shoulders. Before Iruka even had time to button his flak vest, Hidan grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room, leading him through the maze of people and out into the streets.
"You're not mad?" Iruka asked, trying to keep up with Hidan.
"No," Hidan replied, dragging the chuunin into a back alley behind one of Ame's hotels. He pointed to one of the window's. "We're going up." He jumped easily to the second story window and eased it open. He sat in the window sill and motioned for Iruka to follow him.
"Hidan, this isn't legal!" Iruka protested.
"C'mon, 'Ruka. Live a little," the Jashinist protested.
Iruka groaned, checking the alley for anyone who could be watching. He hopped up to the window and grabbed Hidan's waiting hand, allowing the Jashinist to pull him into the stolen hotel room.
Hidan grabbed the "do not disturb" sign off the counter and put it on the door handle before locking the door. "Better?"
Iruka smirked. "You really don't give up, do you?"
"What can I say?" Hidan replied, "I'm motivated." He quickly stripped the chuunin again, tossing the clothes carelessly aside. He explored Iruka's warm mouth in a deep kiss, caressing the soft lips with his own. They fell into each others' warm embrace. Hidan grabbed the chuunin's slender hips and had him panting in minutes, quickly forgetting whatever laws they were currently breaking. Iruka wrapped his arms around the Jashinist and begged for more. Hidan was happy to oblige, bringing them both to a fantastic climax.
Hidan collapsed onto the bed, still holding Iruka. "Comfortable?" he asked.
Iruka nodded, a dazed smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.
Hidan laughed. Laying back in the bed and crossing his arms behind his head, he smiled smugly to himself. Iruka just smiled and shook his head. He lay next to Hidan, and they both fell into a deep sleep.