April's a little bummed because it might have been a little too soon to break out Janet Snakehole. Everything was great this morning. Hungover Ann is far superior to sober Ann and drunk Ann. Hungover Ann who just found April's napkin note is the best Ann.
But now it looks like her fun game that would have totally destroyed Ann is over before it even got started. Ann will think she was putting on a show just to mess with her, which is kinda true. But she'll probably also ignore anything April tries that's related to the making out thing. She'll have to find another way to destroy Ann. Or maybe she'll just make out with Andy and play X-Box.
When they get home that night she tells Andy everything. He's turned on the X-Box and he's probably going to play until he falls asleep. "Hey, babe," she says. "Remember how I told you you could make out with pretty much everyone in the world except Ann?"
"Uh-huh," Andy says, punching a dude until his face explodes.
"And how you said I could make out with any girls I wanted to?"
"Um," Andy says, and his face explodes because he missed when he was going for another dude, and the dude punches his face instead. "Yeah."
April chews her gum a few times, takes it out of her mouth and stretches it between her fingers. "I made out with Ann tonight," she says finally.
Andy's eyes are the widest they've ever been, his mouth stretched open into an excited O and April wonders if his real face was to going to really explode. "Wow, babe, that's really awesome! But, uh, I thought you hated Ann."
"I do," April replies. "I hate her so much."
"Ah," Andy says in the voice he uses when he thinks he understands what's going on. "So you decided to show her how much you hate her by ... making. Out. With her?"
"It was like the only way to get her to stop talking to me." April wraps her gum around her finger. "She really freaked out about it today."
"Oh, dude!" Andy brings his hand to his forehead, looking again like he's finally figured it out. "I thought Ann was straight!"
"She is. She couldn't resist me." April can feel her lips quirking up and tries to stop herself before it becomes a full-on smile.
"Like no one alive could resist you, babe," and April says, "Yeah?" and they have sex on the couch, the sound of Andy's face exploding blasting on the TV because he forgot to pause the game.
As she's walking with Andy into the office the next morning, she thinks next time, if she bothers, she'll wait to let it boil over slowly. But Ann is in Leslie's office and when she comes out and sees April, she freezes and stops talking mid-sentence. It's her favorite thing Ann does, made even better because Ann's still freaking out about it. The making out thing. She wonders if Ann ever remembered anything or if April's word is still all she has to go on.
"So I'll see you tonight, right?" Leslie's saying, but Ann is looking at April like she can't look away, and April's looking right back and it's amazing, watching Ann decide whether it's best to run away or stand completely still, like April is some horrifying predator. She can feel a smile trying to edge onto her face and if she did smile, Ann would probably burst into flames right here in the office. As April is trying to tone down the evil she feels building behind her eyes, Leslie says, "Ann?"
"Yep! Tonight!" Ann says a little too loudly, that fake bright tone in her voice that always makes April want to puke. She doesn't look away from Ann, though, and Ann eventually leaves the office without another word.
Leslie frowns and looks over at April, and April turns to her. "Ann's been acting a little weird lately," Leslie says suspiciously, and Ann remembers her text the other night, asking if April was finally carrying out some horrible plan for revenge. "April, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"
"She seems like the same old awful Ann to me," April says. Leslie's face tells April that she knows something is up but she doesn't know what it is.
"April," she says in the closest thing she has to a stern voice that really just sounds like she's being very insistent but still nice. "I know you and Ann have your problems -"
"Yes. The problems are that I hate her because she's awful."
"But," Leslie continues, "she's very important to me and this department and my campaign."
April feels a little bit of guilt, which she hates even more than Ann. "Yeah, I know."
"I'm not asking you to be her best friend."
"Yeah," April says, and all the evil in her blood feels like it's being replaced by warmth and sunshine which makes her feel gross. "I won't bother Ann anymore. At work. Around you." Leslie gives her that knowing smile, that what am I going to do with you smile that would make her start plotting murder if it were anyone other than Leslie. She looks down at her nails and thinks about filing them into sharp points. Another idea seeps into her brain, and the warmth and sunshine starts to give way again, and she knows how she can pull this off, still have fun being horrible to Ann while not tipping Leslie off at all. "Maybe I'll ask her to lunch or something."
"Oh, April." Leslie sounds like she's about to cry, and April can see Donna raising her eyebrow, her mouth twisting into a smirk. "You have grown so much in just few short years -"
April can feel a hug coming on, so she covers her ears and closes her eyes and says, "Don't." When Leslie goes back into her office, sniffling, April glowers at Jerry and Tom and thinks about getting some of those red contacts and wishes there were some that could light up.