Hey ladies and gentleman, this is the girlfriend of the author and I go by [girlfriendoftheauthor]. This is my ill attempt at writing a story on his behalf. He took a break for this series so I can write it. I hope you guys enjoy it.

The cell phone on his dresser woke Clyde. The luminous hands of his clock pointed to a little after eleven in the evening, which was way past his bedtime. Clyde rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes. He heard his cell phone ring into the night. He could only think of one person who would call at such an ungodly hour. See the beginning of this harem, Clyde has served the role of assistant or a secondary sidekick. In his mind, where is the advantage and benefits in it? There hasn't been a girl in his corner. Well, there was Penelope and there was solidarity in their relationship. But, it didn't hurt for the wingman to get a chase from a girl every now and again. He was one of a couple of people that knows all of the girls that are in his harem, including Nory and Willow.

The kept ringing and he knew it will continue to ring until he picked it up. Lincoln knew how to kill his evening. He must realize that normal, non-harem people have to be at work or school in the morning. But, not Lincoln Loud. When there was trouble, Clyde came to the rescue. There were many times he wanted to tell him in his ear to end the harem if they were causing him trouble. Nevertheless, he was too much of his parents. Very calm, tranquil, and didn't look for trouble.

He stepped out of bed, and bumped into a few things before finding his glasses. He managed to find his way through the darkness to his cell phone. All the while, the phone kept its merciless ringing.

Clyde yawned as he answered the phone for his troubled friend. "Hey, Lincoln. What's up?"

"Took you long enough, bro," Lincoln said. "Do you know how long I have been standing outside around your house to let me in?"

Clyde frowned in the dark, saying nothing. Clyde was thinking if he was such an emergency, why not phone the police. He knew that it was only one person he was running away from. He sighed heavily.

"Do you hear me, Clyde?"

Clyde yawned. "Give me a minute." He took his time to reach for his slippers. He stepped out of the bedroom into the darkened hallway. He was grateful that his parents were out for the evening. Knowing of their activities, they wouldn't be home until later in the day. And he was certainly happy that the cats were in his parents' room. He continued to walk until he made it to the door. As soon as he opened it, he saw Lincoln running into the door, slamming it quickly.

Clyde sighed once again before yawning into the darkness. "How can I help you this time, Lincoln? Which girl did you pissed off?"

Lincoln frowned. "Well, excuse me if this harem thing is pissing you off."

Clyde returned his frown. "First of all, you called me to my aid. It is eleven in the evening. We have school in the morning. You answered rudely and expect me to take you in my house." He scanned at the door. "I should let your ass out to fend for your damn self if you are going to talk to me like that." When Clyde gets sleep deprived, his other side gets exposed. "I don't know who in the hell think you are talking to? That kind of shit get your ass hit. Understand?"

Lincoln took a couple of breaths. "Listen. Clyde, I am sorry. I was in panic mode. I wasn't trying to insult or rush you. I was scare being out there." He looked at the door. "Especially when she is looking for me."

Clyde took some deep breaths to lower his composure. "It's okay, Linc. Anyway, by the looks of your tattered clothes, the scratches on you, and three different bite marks. It is none other than Willow." He let out a smirk. "You know you are in deep shit, right?"

Clyde has consulted with a colleague by the name of Luka Fatelbern. His colleague explained the dynamics of vampires like Willow. Because of his tiresome demeanor, he was going to point out one important rule: never run away from a vampire.

"Dude, she was upset about the Redbox machine," he said while panting. "She was going nuts. She was taking it too far. It was starting to hurt. I didn't have much choice."

"Okay," said Clyde. "So, because you ran away from the queen of the night, you need a place to crash for the night?"

Lincoln nodded his head. "Yes, please. Plus, I need you this evening. I know I haven't been perfect on the friendship scale, but please help me."

He sighed. "Lincoln, you know I will always have your back."

"Thanks, dude."

Lincoln went to the guest room where he usually spend some nights. Normally, the white-haired would stay with Clyde. However, Clyde admitted before going to bed that he hasn't been sleeping well. Part of the reason was in part of Lincoln.

This was the third time this week Lincoln sought Clyde for sanctuary. So, in a way, Lincoln was understanding on how frustrated was his best friend.

He promised himself to make it up to Clyde in the morning. For now, he just wanted to get some sleep. As he began to shut his eyes, he saw the very person who he was running from.

"Wake up, darling," she said while tapping on the window. "I've found you." She was very calm, which wasn't a good sign from the yandere vampire. "Come on now, Lincoln. Roll up the window so we can talk."

Lincoln was panting. Willow was too calm. Her eyes displayed worry. He kept his guard. He raised part of his window. Willow stared into the eyes of her young lover. She wasn't pleased. "I mean all of the way, my dear blood doll."

"This is fine. We can discuss whatever is on your mind right here."

She shook her head. "Do you really want to test my patience? Please open the door or I will do so by force."

Lincoln widened his eyes. "You wouldn't do that, Willow. Plus, you can't enter a home without permission."

Willow smiled. She let out a smirk before him. "Precious, Lincoln. My sweet blood doll. This isn't your home."

Lincoln flinched as she bust through the window with her fist. Lincoln crawled from the bed and headed for the door. However, it was locked.

"What the hell," he screamed. He knocked the door loudly. "Clyde, please. I don't want to be in here."

Lincoln grabbed the door furiously while Willow took her time as she removed her cape and put it on the bed. She cracked her neck as she prepared to do her usual routine to the white-haired child.

"Shh, shh! Relax!" She had already cornered Lincoln. "First, we will have our fun. Second, you know I am going to punish you." She glared towards him as he watched her eyes changed colors. "Now, look onto your mistress."

He followed her command.

"Good. Remove your clothing!"

"Yes, Mistress Willow."

"Excellent, but you know how much this hurts me, Lincoln. Testing my patience, betraying my trust, and running away from me? You know you must be punished. But for now, I will feed and then we have our fun." She tilted his chin to her sight. "We will save your punishment when we get home."

Meanwhile, Clyde was sitting on his bed as he was preparing for sleep. Suddenly, he received a phone call. He stepped from the bed and answered it. It was from Haiku, Willow's ward.

"Hey, Haiku."

"Hey, yourself," answered Haiku. "Mistress wants to thank you for locating him. Funds will be wired to your account in the morning."

"I appreciate it."

"Certainly. Clyde, I do have a personal question."

"Ask away."

"Why would you sell out Lincoln. Quite a loyalty kill."

Clyde let out a Cheshire Cat grin. "It's a secret. See you in school, Haiku."

Clyde turned off his cell phone and climbed into bed. He turned on his music to drown the noise of whatever Willow and Lincoln were doing.

Sorry, Lincoln. I bet you won't leave any cheese puffs on my manga books again.

To not be continued. Let's be honest. Clyde and Lincoln were kind of being assholes toward each other.