I might have to go into hiding for a month after this because for some reason teachers always decide to hand out homeworks and reports and essays due in around the same time, although they swear they don't hold secret conferences deciding these things in an attempt to make our lives miserable or anything. And when I say a month, it usually means about four to six. But hey, I'll try, because you people give me so much encouragement – mostly in the form of reviews, thanks very much – which just gets my usually lazy brain to do some exercise and dislodge this permanent writer's block that got wedged in there sometime during middle school. I bet it had something to do with exams.

And now for some shameless self-promotional stuff. For those who hadn't read it yet, there's this story called "Bearing Redemption" I wrote off the top of my head one MIDNIGHT because of something very long and complicated that you'd get if you read the author's note on that fic. Basically it's a "What if Aizen never existed and instead it was Toushiro in his place that did all those things?" story, and the reason I'm asking for more recognition – not that this story gets much attention, but I can't blame anybody except for myself with my writing and rambling and infrequent updates… - is because I'm still contemplating if it should be a oneshot or no. I do have some ideas, just probably not enough at the moment, so yeah…depends on how much dear sweet REVIEWS my equally dear and sweet and precious few readers can kindly offer me *winkwinkwink*

Also, I'm putting this in the M-section because of some advice I received which really made sense – that when people see GinHitsu, they usually think of, well, smut, and I can do that, and I did promise to make my first fics of a fandom a M, so there. This makes things definite. Although I have no idea if there will be any lemon or lime in the near future, seeing as I'm mostly going with the flow as well as trying to keep the flow actually going. But I'll do my best. Fueled by REVIEWS, of course!

They finally managed to shake Ichigo off when Toushiro reproachfully told him that it was late, his family would be worried, a student shouldn't be wandering out in such a dangerous place as an alley anyway, and when that didn't work, that it would be a long story. It took some time and a lot of persuasion, but he agreed to back off when he saw how weary the boy was looking, and when Toushiro promised to tell him everything the next day. A time and place was quickly discussed before they parted ways; Ichigo kept throwing suspicious glares at the back of Gin's head, who tagged along obediently behind Toushiro as they made their own way through the twisting streets.

They slipped out of the narrow alley and onto a deserted road, stars twinkling in the black night sky but hardly visible because of a street lamp shining brighter overhead. The two said nothing to each other; in the silence between them, a dog barking somewhere deeper in the residential neighborhood sounded faintly. It was Gin who finally spoke, his voice soft and barely above a low murmur that seemed to melt into the night around them.

"He's gone." Toushiro could feel the slit eyes focused on the back of his head, and winced inwardly as he understood what Gin was waiting for.

"Yeah," was his short reply, and he hesitated, totally at loss at what to do.

Stillness reigned again apart from the sound of their footsteps, until Gin seemed to decide to make a move.

"Is it too much," his voice had not changed his volume or tone, but the words somehow urged a heavy feeling to blossom in Toushiro's chest, "Ta want the full story?"

The boy stopped, as did his partner; like a shadow, Gin was always mimicking his movements recently. It looked like it had become a habit for the man – without his memories, he was less forthcoming and decisive than he had been before, and had been completely reliant on Toushiro at the very first. He was noticeably quieter and seemed to not have much of an opinion at times, although he was admittedly more open about his feelings and was always gentle towards the boy. Perhaps it was due to this new behavior Toushiro had become accustomed to over the months that the older man's outburst – as gentle as it had been – came as a slight shock to him. He knew, deep in himself, that he could not deny Gin any knowledge that would come between them, but he had hoped…

Shaking his head, Toushiro sucked in a deep breath through his teeth and turned to look up at Gin. "I'm truly sorry," he started, trying desperately to read what the man was thinking in his never changing expression. Even in this form, his lover was exceptionally hard to read. "I really didn't mean to keep things hidden. I was just searching for the right time, but I admit I ended up procrastinating …"

He sighed in defeat, knowing it was for the best if he was truthful about everything to the quiet, waiting man. He knew Gin would understand if he explained thoroughly – he didn't know if it was pure instinct or by habit, but like the Ichimaru before, Gin seemed to have the ability to see through most people simply by looking at them. He could tell what drove humans onwards to their goals, although it was rare for him to share the knowledge, and what hurt them the deepest, what they treasured, and most of all, when and what was troubling Toushir when they were alone. Yet the boy genius could tell that deeper within himself that there was something larger preventing him from speaking up every time he worked up the courage to break it to the man, a greater fear that paralyzed his muscles and lungs and forced him to clamp down on his tongue and look away. There was no getting away now, however – Toushiro could never refuse Gin when he was being stared down like this, and he could almost see the questions and mild hurt and suspicion swimming in the orbs behind those eyelids, waiting to burst out.

"It's just…people don't come back from the dead every day," he said, eyes uneasily darting to and from Gin's own. His tongue felt rough and thick, the inside of his mouth and chapped lips impossibly dry. "And everything always seemed to be happening so fast these days. We had to get you out of Soul Society before anybody else even found a sign of your existence, and I had to make arrangements with work, and – I couldn't know who to trust and in the end there was no one apart from you and me, and – and I know I seem crazy but my life before wasn't exactly stable without you. I was so – just so confused for a while, I needed you and you couldn't be there. And you had been there, for many years," his voice and eyes softened at memories of forever ago, back to the streets of Rukongai, back when he had thought Ichimaru as cold and shinigamis as evil, "When you were gone…I realized that I had become almost helpless without you."

He knew his words were tumbling over each other in their rush to get out and bare themselves before the man, but even as he took another deep breath and tried to calm himself, his mind seemed to be stuck on a panic setting, the kind that wound down like a caffeine crash and would leave him in stricken paralysis if he did not keep talking.

"I was scared," he managed, feeling each breath in his lungs and pumping in his heart force his throat to close up and threaten to choke him. Not now, not now, just get this out, it's for his own sake. "I was scared you wouldn't trust me anymore. Because I lost my chance to tell you the truth the first time, and if I did tell you later then you would've had misconceptions about why I looked out for you and yet hauled you between worlds and put you through all of this. I was," shuddering breath in, quaking breath out, "Afraid, that you might leave me. I don't – I don't want that. But I should have known that you have your values set somewhere else than to lose your cool over something like this. I should have trusted you, and I knew that I would have to tell you soon," he allowed a small, nervous laugh slip from him, but immediately felt guilty when Ichimaru only kept staring at him expressionlessly. "I'm sorry. I was scared. I'm sorry."

His voice was hardly anything more than a pleading whimper, and Toushiro felt more ashamed than he had had in ten years or so. He had dropped his gaze to the asphalt below their feet sometime during his confession, and this time, he could not work up the courage to lift them and see for himself just how angry or cheated Gin must feel right now. This always happened; the mere thought of Gin leaving him – even when they both knew he had nowhere else to go – hit some sort of button within him, and drew out the worst of the last memory they had been on speaking terms. More specifically, in the chambers of Central 46, with Hinamori bleeding her lifeblood out at his feet and his vision being swathed in red as he released his bankai, and was felled right in front of his indifferent lover. But it was out now, it was too late to take it back, to stuff that smallest doubt he had of Gin into some tiny locked chest in a cramped damp space where nobody, not even he, could find it. Gin knew his weakness, his vulnerable spot, and Toushiro was at his mercy now should he choose to prod and jab at it with just the right words.

He jumped to feel warm hands on his cheeks, running up and down until they finally came to rest just underneath his eyes; as fond fingers swiped at an invisible piece of dust there they tugged at his face, urging him to look up.

"I hope ya haven't forgotten," Gin grinned. "That I was the one who wanted ta come with ya."

The younger's face reddened when Gin lowered his head to plant a kiss on his forehead, and the surprising hotness lingered long after he pulled away, smirking. Toushiro reached up to touch the spot, all timidity wiped away by surprise as he fumbled for words.

"You're not mad?" he asked. "You…really want to hear this?"

A noncommittal shrug. "It's partially my fault, ya know, seeing as I never asked. But if what I did hurt ya, like that boy said, at least let me repent fer those things," the man answered. "If yer okay with letting me stay, and if there's anything I can do ta heal ya, then by all means, let me. I want to remember everything, Toushiro," he reached out again, pale blue eyes softening as he stroked the side of the boy's face down to his neck, reveling in its softness, and as he leaned into the touch, "Anything could be a key."

Toushiro breathed out slowly; a cloud of white mist formed between them, dispersing quickly into the night air. "You don't have to remember for me," he muttered, teal orbs sliding half close. "You don't have to rush anything."

Gin's smile grew larger, and then his fingers had slipped from under his lover's chin and had grabbed a smaller hand before the boy could blink. Before Toushiro knew it, he was being pulled forward, and his stumbling feet instinctively followed as the tall man started sprinting before him, hands still joined. They ran through the dark, the quiet streets and down a concrete slope, leaving their troubles behind for now and ran, until they came to a road Toushiro recognized and brought a small smile to his own lips. They reached an area enclosed by trees; as they weaved through the gates they came out into a lamp lit playground, at the center of which they stopped. It was the park they could overlook from their rented apartment nearby, and in such a quiet neighbourhood, no hooligans or vagabonds stalked the benches or the corner behind the sandbox. The temperature was below freezing these nights, so nobody sensible was out at this time at such an empty place. Toushiro almost laughed at the thought – he wasn't cold anymore thanks to the run, but it didn't change the fact that a midnight walk probably wasn't the best idea in winter, unless, of course, you were absolutely crazy.

His companion's grin at Toushiro's rosy cheeks probably could have split his face from ear to ear, his breath also coming out in short puffs of silver that rose into nothingness. He pulled themselves closer to each other, wrapping his arms around Toushiro's back, and the boy copied him out of habit, burying his head into the other's chest. They stood like that for a short while, seeking the other's warmth and hiding from the biting frostiness, until Toushiro pulled away suddenly and stood on his toes, barely capturing the surprised fox-face's lips for a kiss.

Gin blinked; it wasn't like Toushiro to be so forthcoming, at least as much as his memories extended, but in any case he ducked slightly to deepen it, earning himself a pleasured whine from the back of the younger's throat. Flicking his tongue at the other's, inviting him to play, they melded into each other in the middle of the abandoned park, lamplight cast and surrounded by the still, icy air. They pulled away once they were out of breath, flushing, but they didn't dare let go of each other.

Gin was the first to open his mouth. "Tell me everything," he insisted. "Ya can't hold onto secrets by yourself, Toushiro. Let me share the load," he encouraged gently. "Let me carry mah own weight."

Toushiro's voice was raspy from the running and the kiss, but he turned large, begging eyes on Gin. "Promise me…promise me you won't gloom over it or wallow in guilt or anything," he said. "It wasn't you who did it. Remember that. And you had good final intentions. I'm alright now," he smiled, and it was like the dawn, a shy, stray ray of light slipping from the horizon and casting it's wonder on the world below and leaving his lover dazzled. "Promise me, you idiot."

Gin nodded, clasping his large hands around the small of the other's back. "This was the best midnight rendezvous," he smirked, still so oblivious, still unprepared of what was to come next, "But I wouldn't want ya ta catch somethin' nasty. Let's go inside and ya can tell me the story – the whole story, this time – over some hot coco. Hmm?"

Rukongai - Early Winter

What could he do? What was he supposed to feel? A man he had thought he had lost forever had just suddenly appeared before his eyes, bedraggled and barely conscious. For a while, he'd been rooted to the spot, disbelieving of his eyes and almost hyperventilating from the tightness of his chest. Just when he had been so ready to teeter, to fall over the edge and just weep in gladness – it didn't matter that he was not a girl, he was too happy, as the realization that he was no longer alone again, too deeply in love – it turns out that he had, in actuality, not gained back as much as he thought. The initial shock had partially worn off, although he still couldn't decide whether to kick the man's arse or sit down and calmly explain things to him, try to find out what the hell was going on exactly, so now he was flying through the night, ducking past the sentries and snuffing his reiatsu out; the man he had found needed care, and he needed time to clear his disoriented head; and the only thing he could be certain of at this moment of time was that he was in no state to decide how to deal with this – this supernaturalism, he needed the space but couldn't be gone for long.

He remembered babbling nonsense – but only very faintly – as the man gazed at him groggily; having shaken himself out of his reverie as he fully comprehended the amount of damage the figure seemed to have taken, although on closer inspection nothing remotely serious could be found, Toushiro was frantic, too worried about the man's state before actually thinking through the events and situation. It was only after the older opened his mouth and spoke – asked his name – that he recalled freezing, glad to have already been on his knees to support the dazed fox-face, because all the energy in his body was rapidly being sucked out and leaving him a ragdoll. When the fact that Ichimaru was without his memories registered in his mind, something within him snapped, and although confusion still raged somewhere in the back of his head and battled with tearful fury and incredulousness, Captain Hitsugaya started to show a little more of himself, and dully noted that the Ichimaru before him was currently shivering and whining loudly for food.

Yes, he still couldn't believe it. Yes, he knew this posed many problems for Soul Society. But he was in charge right now, in charge of this mission, and what to do with Ichimaru, so before any of the rest of the Gotei could get a word in with his decisions, he was to act appropriately and responsibly. Besides, he was never really good at sharing.

Toushiro just wished this side of him stayed firm and unwavering before Ichimaru, but the worrying part was that in the entirety of his history with the man, he couldn't remember one instance when it had worked.

- X -

The stars were out by the time Toushiro managed to get back to the meadow, his arms full with some supplies he had nicked from his own division's emergency shelter, and a great black coat. He was half paranoid that the man he had found - whom after a long internal debate the small captain had instructed to STAY PUT - had wandered off again in to the night. When the tuft of silver came into sight within the grass after one frantic scan, he breathed a small sigh of relief, before sucking it back in reflexively when he managed to comprehend the scene properly.

The man - Gin - was simply sitting crossed-legged (not that Toushiro could see that, the grass was tall and thick enough to obstruct the view below his neck), in his tattered white robes that were as stark as his pale visage in the dark, head tilted up to gaze at the stars. Toushiro was momentarily entranced - there was no way around this feeling, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene even if he wanted to. He hesitated to move - his feet would not listen to him - and for a while the two were simply shrouded in the peaceful, almost vigilant, silence, until the man seemed to spot him out of the corner of his eye, and turned to him smiling.

"Ya took a bit," he called across the dark field, not making any motion to move as he watched Toushiro blink himself back to his senses.

The boy swallowed. "Ye-yeah," he replied. He was standing in the shadow of the trees that surrounded them, blocking the light from the full moon, so he stepped away, and started to weave his way through the thick grass. "Sorry, um, for keeping you. I needed some time to get thes-"

He halted, startled, when a shoving motion unleashed a small bulb of light to float in the air before him. More followed the first into the night air, and Toushiro was soon shrouded by a small cloud of fireflies, illuminating his face faintly and wavering in a pair of large, teal orbs. For some reason, Toushiro couldn't collect himself enough to go forward and brush them away. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice reasoned he was tired and the recent events had made him confused.

He had no idea how he had managed to not notice the rustling until it was right beside him. Next thing he knew, there was a large, warm presence at his side. "I managed ta keep mahself entertained," a low voice whispered next to his ear. "After all, I had mah own personal stars, dancing so freely ya'd feel drawn into joining them, right down here."

Feeling the heat in his cheeks rise as he felt the hot breath on the side of his face, so in contrast with the cold of early winter, Toushiro whipped around, gaping slightly when he found Gin bent right over him and watching him closely. His smile, just a little less guarded and mocking than he remembered it to be, widened at the boy's less than composed stature. He looked like he would have liked to comment more, if only to see that porcelain skin flush at his words.

But Toushiro was already pulling himself together, coughing lightly and shrugging off the embarrassment. "I didn't know you had anything that resembles a dreamy streak in you," he remarked, before roughly thrusting the bundle in his arms into Gin's chest. "Here."

"What, the me ya knew before didn't indulge in charming pastimes like nature watching?" Gin asked teasingly, taking the offered assorted goods. "How on earth did I keep mahself from dying of boredom?"

His companion decided to refrain from explaining the finer points of dying and living on afterwards, which apparently lead to dying someday and turning up looking like a tramp with no reliable memory intact. "You enjoyed watching people, if I recall," he replied hesitantly. "You liked examining their reactions when they get caught in one of your," he sniffed, "Practical jokes."

A low chuckle, as the man knelt in the grass to carefully lay out the newly delivered supplies. "Now that sounds more like it." He paused, holding up the hooded coat that Toushiro had used to wrap everything else up in a hurry. It was almost twice the length of the boy, and clearly not his. "Just what I needed," he grinned, shrugging it on without further preamble and nestlings contently in its warmth. "Thank you."

Toushiro shifted on his feet. "It was the only thing I could find that fit you. Everything else you owned was taken away for investigation, or burned... You'd left that in my room last New Year, and I forgot to give you it back." The last part was mumbled, but the man only glanced at him with unbridled amusement dancing in his expression. In truth, the Tenth Captain had stored it away safely into the depth of his closet once winter had passed that year, hiding it away from any visitors and lying to Ichimaru when he asked about it. When the work days drew long or when Ichimaru was out on a mission for a prolonged period, he had brought it out to sling it over his shoulders in his room, breathing in the lingering smell because it relaxed him. He had not touched it in a while for the slimmest chance that someone might see him with it, and if they had not been informed any better, there would be trouble if they were able to make some kind of connection.

The coat fit him well, Toushiro thought with grudging admiration, as the dark material was lifted slightly by a breeze and the silver haired figure looked like some sort of mysterious creature of the night, cloaked in an aura of darkness and secrecy. The tattered remains of what used to be white boots stood out a little, but as long fingers did up the two parallel rows of buttons dotting down his torso, the simple coat hugged his slim frame and broad shoulders tightly, accessorizing his silhouette and drawing all attention to his upper body. Toushiro looked away as Gin adjusted his sleeves, trying to fight off the blush that threatened to occupy his face up to his ears again. He hated feeling like this, like some sort of girl stealing glances at her first crush, unable to work up the courage to even look him in the eyes.

"Food!" Gin's exclamation forced him to look up, the unfamiliarly enthusiastic tone sounding so foreign to his ears. As far as he knew, Ichimaru never expressed excitement over such a petty matter. But this Gin pounced on the emergency supplies littered on the dirt like a starving wolf, seizing a packet of stale crackers and greedily wrenching the wrapper off. He might as well have not eaten for days, which, Toushiro surmised, may not be too far from the truth.

Hurrying to the older man's side, he pulled out his own water carrier and offered it to Gin, struggling to keep from smirking at the sight of his face covered in crumbs. Gin downed it in something like a single gulp.

"Yer a real saviour," he said sincerely, turning back to the remainder of the tasteless, dry food. "I don't remember the last time I ate. Wanna bite?"

With a quick shake of his head, the boy squatted next to him, balancing on the balls of his feet and propping his head up with his arms. "You don't remember how you got here?" he asked softly. "Nothing at all?"

"For the thousandth time, I don't half remember what I'd been doing till I saw ya," Gin replied, as creases formed between his brows. "It's all foggy...all I can find in mah head are pictures of the forest, feeling tired even as I drag mah feet onwards, for God knows what ...I s'ppose that must be how it feels ta sleepwalk."

He looked up, straight at Toushiro, crumbs around his face and a bit of dirt Toushiro had missed earlier while wiping him peeking from underneath his fringe. "But like I said, when I saw ya...it felt like a fog in mah head was clearing, and I could feel mah limbs, my senses awakening. I felt like...like I didn't have ta walk anymore, ya know?" A quiet laugh at Toushiro's disbelieving face. "Like I'd found just what mah spirit's been yearning fer all this time."

He trailed off, eyes never leaving the petite captain beside him. The air was silent save for the crickets in the grass, and the sky, so whole and clear and perfect, seemed to twinkle just that much in the cool tranquility. In that moment, it was just like old times – there was no one in this world apart from them, two souls together on a distant, open land, overlooking the far away shadow that was Rukongai, and even farther, the towers of Seireitei. Only the heavens were the witness to their existence, to their relationship – and the idea was heartbreaking because of one, little truth.

"Why would you say that?"

It was asked in a hushed voice, so discreet that it could have melted into the blackness of the field, drifted off into the breeze and yonder. Gin however, sitting in close capacity, saw his lips move under the shadow cast by his apparently gravity-defying hair and caught the soft words in the wind.

"Because it's true," he told the boy, matter-of-factly. "Ya keep me grounded. With ya, I feel more like mahself...whoever I might have been," Gin chuckled slightly.
Toushiro seemed preoccupied, for he stayed silent and kept his gaze lowered. Concerned, Gin reached out to him, and didn't relent when a small flinch escaped the taut body when he touched him.

His cheeks were warm, Gin surmised, as he rested his full palm on the side of the small, white face. He'd expected them to be clammy from the cold, but perhaps it was because of his own cool hands, for they felt almost scorching now. He noticed that the boy's breath was coming in small laboured pants, as teal eyes were hidden behind scrunched eyelids.

"No," he heard, and Toushiro was trying very, very weakly to tear himself away. "Do you know – how much I tried to rid myself of the notion that you actually wanted me? I thought – you didn't – you never –"

But he couldn't say the next words, because Gin was looking at him with such an innocent, puzzled look on his face, and the last thing he needed was for that expression to crumble – he knew he couldn't keep himself living in a dream, but just for now, just for now he could be allowed to run away from the truth–

"Why wouldn't I want ya?" Gin asked, slightly confused. Yet Toushiro had clamped down, eyes screwed tight and biting down on his tongue, shaking his head so frantically the taller wondered, very briefly, if it would be for the better to pursue further. He yielded this time, though, because he could see that the boy in his arms was in distress, and his primal instinct was to soothe out those lines between his brows and coax him to relax.

Gin gently took Toushiro's face in both hands, bringing his own a little closer. Smiling wider when the smaller one opened his clear, exotic eyes wide in surprise as they stared into hidden blue ones, he spoke slowly, as though repeating phrases to a child. "Ya are beautiful ta me."

The blush slammed fully into Toushiro, and there was no hiding it now, but thin arms grasped Gin's wrist and forced him away roughly.

"Don't do this to me," he cringed at his own voice, raspy with the effort of keeping in words that should not be said, that cannot be said. "Please don't do this to me. You have no idea – NO idea what I have to do and what I want to–"

But his grip had slackened, like his resolve had a few hours ago, despite the sudden desperate light in his eyes. Too many possibilities flashed through his mind, risks he refused to take even when the chance was dangled right before his nose.

"You can't persuade me to stay with you. You are not supposed to trust me, Gin," and his first name even took Toushiro by surprise; he had hardly ever allowed himself to say it during their time together, let alone afterwards when it morphed naturally into a taboo for not only him, but also for the rest of Seireitei. Nevertheless, it was like a sweet drop on his tongue, rolling with the bitterness in his mouth and bringing a small, but almost negligible relief. "We can't be together," he half whispered, trying so hard to force the regrets and second thoughts that welled in his heart down.

"I thought we used ta be, though?" Gin asked insistently, a brow rising in slight surprise at the boy's mounting anguish. He was being persistent – there were many things he didn't understand, but perhaps that was what made him that much more determined to cling onto what he was aware of. "At least, that's what I gathered from yerself earlier. And, well," He offered a mischievous smile, almost seemingly oblivious to Toushiro's dilemma. "I can't make mahself believe that I'd leave a pretty one like ya alone."

"This is not a joke," the younger boy snapped. He could feel cold sweat on the back of his neck. Rising from his haunches, he backed a few steps away from Gin, arms coming to wrap around his middle protectively as he glared down at the former captain. "You don't get it. There are people here – shinigami – who don't think favourably of you. I need to ... You could – you could easily be a faux. You could be part of another one of Aizen's plots – only a fool will believe a dungeon would keep him quiet. You are supposed to be dead! I'm having a hard time wrapping this around my head. The others will not even try to dredge up the patience."

He squeezed his eyes shut, and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. He knew he was just stressed, but a headache was starting up on top of everything and suddenly he just felt exhausted. Toushiro couldn't bring himself to be truly elated that Gin, although his memory was a blank slate, had somehow managed to find his way back to him, because it meant that a whole new list of things to worry about had been added. And just when he thought he had overcome his grief, came to terms with the unfairness of the world, saw that there had been no other way it could have ended and would not let himself otherwise. He could not fathom why the man would show up as a reiatsu not of this world on Kurotsuchi's radar, and even then he could only suspect that Gin was the unidentified matter because it could hardly be a coincidence. Gin hungry meant that he hadn't lost his reiatsu, and although Shinsou didn't appear to be present for some reason, if he posed even the smallest threat to Soul Society the majority of the captains would not waste a second to put him down. And while Toushiro balked at the thought, he could not see any other option for this situation to evolve, unless he could convince Gin to evade civilization for his long, endless time in Soul Society.

...In Soul Society...

For a moment, a wild, crazy thought flashed across his mind. Toushiro frowned. In Soul Society, at least, anything he might need would be at his disposal, although it came with a cost. Gin might need medical attention if his memory loss somehow connected in all of this – along with his existence, of course – and Unohana may or may not be persuaded into taking a look before turning him in. If he truly was sent to help Aizen escape and continue with his crazed version of world domination then the dungeons would have to be checked, something that could not be accomplished without notifying the new Central 46 with a full explanation ready. Gin was a bomb that would rock Soul Society again just waiting to go off. And Toushiro could either deliver it to the heart of its target or defuse it.

But he was running out of time. His co-workers could brush off his absence as his being a workaholic as usual, but he was sure that if the Twelfth Division was watching their radar now (and he knew that Kurotsuchi had somehow managed to get a hold of samples of his reiatsu to add to their database so that he would show up on their locators too) and saw him at a stalemate with the unknown object, they would most certainly get concerned. The longer they stayed like this, the more difficult it would be to explain his way out, or worse, keep them off Gin if they decide to come "offer their assistance". Kurotsuchi might even design a new kind of giant test tube to cork Gin in, if Soi Fon's onmitsukido didn't sniff something out first. He needed to produce results fast.

And it was with that chilling feeling he had running down his spine that Toushiro finally realized that he really didn't like the idea of Gin in the merciless hands of the older man was watching him silently, expressionlessly, quite unperturbed by Toushiro's little outburst and munching on a ration slowly. For all he knew, Ichimaru may still have been using him for the pleasure and stress relief while plotting Aizen's downfall with only Marsumoto's safety in mind. In the dead man's eyes, Toushiro may have been nothing but a playtoy, a little stupid child who was so oblivious to the truth and provided too much entertainment with his volatile, easily manipulatable emotions. The thought made his blood boil and him to scream and cry at the same time, but the Gin in front of him was not that person. Gin needed him now. Gin wanted him. And although a small voice within Toushiro warned him shrilly that this was all too good – and he shouldn't even be thinking that it was good, he was a failure as a captain – to be true; that he had been so easily tricked before; that he should be aware of any further deception especially ones as badly cloaked as this – although alarm bells were ringing in his head, he knew he could do nothing except push them deeper inside him until it was nothing but a nagging annoyance. Toushiro rubbed at his face, breathing out slowly from the nose.

"If – and take this seriously, now – if I said that I would take you somewhere far off, somewhere completely different from here, where you would have to learn the main rules of the world from square one, and told you that you'd have to more or less live in hiding, what would you do?"

Gin cocked his head to one side, thinking, and the familiar action made Toushiro want to choke.

"Will ya come with me?" he asked abruptly, after a moment, voice suddenly subtly deeper, a hint of a purr lying underneath. It sent electric jolts down Toushiro's spine, but he did his best to try and glare a hole in the middle of Gin's forehead.

"I told you to take this seriously," he snarled. "We don't have time for your messing about. We need to decide now, unless you want to be practically thrown at the execution block if they capture you–"

"Then why don't ya let them?" There was only genuine curiosity in the man's words, spoken softly, but they rang heavily in Toushiro's ears. "Why would ya go so far as ta protect me and not be willing ta go all the way? I have no idea what I'm supposed ta be running from, Toushiro," his tone was silky and his face was gentle, and if he hadn't already had Toushiro in his clutches he couldn't possibly escape now, "And I want ta remember ya. I want to learn more about you, and – if it's alright, I want ta take care of ya too."

His lines were not more awkward than cheesy, and they sounded ridiculous, but the utter feeling in them, the sincerity Toushiro had never been quite accustomed to even before, struck something inside of him. It felt so long – so long – since the last time he unwittingly allowed someone into his mind; yes, it was the same person nonetheless but it didn't really matter. He knew he had to be the strong one now, he had to get them moving as quickly as possible, but suddenly he was immobilized after hearing those words fall from the older man's lips. How did he always know…? How come Toushiro always felt so bare and exposed in front of him, and how could he feel glad for it now?

It was suddenly very hard to breathe, and his throat felt like it was closing up. The boy couldn't suppress the thin film of moisture collecting below his eye, and his every word was painful to say and required so much effort, as he finally, finally started to crack.
"Why would you say that," he forced out. "What makes you think I need care? I should be the one–"

The man smiled up at him, too knowingly and yet so welcomingly, as he stated what he obviously thought to be the most evident fact in the world at that moment.

"Ya look like yer about ta cry," Gin pointed out gently. "Come here."

And from his seat on the ground, between the thrushes of grass taller than his head, underneath the jewel-littered sky, Gin Ichimaru held his arms open to the boy captain, inviting him into his warmth. Toushiro shook his head, lips buttoned tight, even as his legs itched to move and something hot and wet threatened to spill from his eyes. He briefly wondered exactly what kind of expression he must have been wearing to have warranted such an action from the man, when, with an exasperated sigh, he rose slightly from his position and grabbed Toushiro's thin wrist with his own long fingers, pulling him into his chest. Toushiro collapsed headfirst, half in and half out of Gin's lap, and at the first sensation of the thick, wooly coat on the skin of his cheeks he felt the tears start to spill. After that everything was awhirl for the boy; he remembered abandoning all caution to the wind and crying freely into the man's chest, uncaring if his face was messed up or if he was sniveling like a small child or if large wet splotches were forming on the fabric below him. He took great, hiccuping breaths, leaning into the soothing touch of the silver-haired man as he rubbed circles onto his back and murmured incoherent things in his deep, smooth voice. Toushiro never noticed the front of the coat opening, only sought for more contact in the briefest moments he was pulled away just a little, nestling into the warmth he found on Gin's bare skin as he was let close again and the heavy material enveloped the both of them.

For a while they just sat together like that, under the coat, Toushiro curled up on Gin's crossed legs, both of their arms around the other, so tightly they may as well have been clinging on to their only lifeline, the boy's nose buried in the nape of the older's neck. He breathed in the scent of smoke and the sweetness of grass, absorbing the radiating warmth as it seeped through his skin. The low rumbling noise Gin was making in the back of his throat struck him reminiscent of a man who was not here anymore, but the mere presence of the sound comforted his grief and simply let him lie in the calm of the ocean in his heart for the first time in months. He cracked his eyes open just in time to catch a small light hovering in the corner of one of them, as fireflies danced their last dance of the year before settling in their final, deep slumber. They were truly alone, two figures clutching at each other desperately under the endless sky, feeling only the other's existence and hearing only their breathing. Although his eyes had not dried yet, and his breath still came in uneven hitches, Toushiro reluctantly tried to pull away, feeling decidedly warmth and who was he to seek the comfort of a complete stranger? Because even though the similarity was obviously far more than coincidental, this Gin was not his.
But long arms were not letting him go, as they wound around his back and a large hand pushed his head back to the crook underneath the older man's chin.

"You've been lonely," Gin murmured. "I'm here. 'm here."

Toushiro rested back against the solid body before him, too tired to fight back, letting Gin's voice wash over him and allowed the tautness in his muscles to slip away. Gin cradled him in his lap and rocked back and forth a little, and for once the boy captain didn't mind being treated like something fragile.

A hot breath brushed above his ear, and he sighed back contentedly in return.

"Let's run away together," and he could almost hear the stupid grin on the fox-face's face, and would have swatted him if he wasn't so ready to nod off to sleep. "Let's go somewhere nobody knows about us, and start over."

Starting over sounds nice, he thought sleepily, and unconsciously he made a sound that he knew Gin would take as an affirmative, but it didn't matter, nothing really mattered right now, as he felt his eyelids drooping and nestled closer to the man.

Just a couple of minutes. But he was so tired. Maybe an hour, like this.

The world could wait until the sun rose.

By the way, "Call" by Regina Spektor is such a beautiful song. I heard it on Prince Caspian and haven't stopped searching karaoke machines for it ever since.

Oh God, what do I do now? *shakes a magic meatball*

REVIEWS, pretty please~ Think of it like signing a petition that supports the GinHitsu ship, and we all know that they deserve SO much more appreciation, right? RIGHT? So click the button~!

And I'm rereading Naruto again (Hello? Homework?) and I can't stop crying at Haku and Zabuza's part. Stupid Edo Jutsu thingy. But Haku looked so happy when he learnt that Zabuza cared for him…d'aww.