A/N: Collaboration with TVD_FFN_NIN, my unofficial beta and the Padfoot to my Moony.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't ours. If it was, we would have a giant orgy with the cast. Oh yeah. That's how we do. :)
Amortentia
Teddy/Hannah
"Professor Longbottom, may I speak with you for a moment?"
"Of course Teddy, what is it?"
"Sir I did something stupid. You may kill me."
"It can't be that bad, what did you do?"
"I gave Hannah a love potion."
"Which Hannah?"
"Um, your Hannah."
"My wife Hannah?"
"Um, yeah. I've always kinda had a crush on her. But it was a stupid thing to do and I'm sorry."
"Well I'm going to have to take house points and you'll have to serve a detention, but I'm glad you came to me. I just so happen to know the antidote."
"Oh thank you sir! She won't leave me alone!"
"Well people aren't themselves when they've been given a love potion. I'm just glad you didn't take advantage of that and shag her or something."
"Oh no I did shag her. I shagged the living shit out of her."
"You what!"
"Just thought I'd give you the heads up, you know just in case your baby comes out with blue hair."
"Blue hair? BLUE HAIR! BOY BY THE TIME I'M DONE WITH YOU, YOU WON'T HAVE ENOUGH HAIR LEFT TO HIDE A FRECKLE!"
"Now sir let us be rash."
"YOU WANT A RASH, I'LL GIVE YOU A RASH! Lexotorpious!"
And that children is why uncle Teddy can't have kids.
A/N: So this one I wrote. Short. Simple. Side splitting. I hope you liked it!