Suddenly all the lights in Brooklyn became a blur to her, she felt as though she were in a dream but in dreams you have control over everything, this couldn't be a dream. Then again, you never remember to take wing of your destiny in your sleep. The cool water rushed down the side of her cheek that Nate had now had his hand pressed on. "Happy Birthday, Nate." She cooed, kissing him softly on the cheek. Taking her hand in his own, he pressed the walk button on the street pole, "Now that there's no rush." He laughed, she clutched onto his grip a little tighter and smiled. "Wait, you don't want to go back to your friends?" she tried to act concerned, there was no way she was going back in there. As the red hand turned into the symbol of a glowing white man, the two of them crossed. "I thought we might catch up some." Nodding in agreement, the two walked hand in hand across the street. With how busy the city was, tonight it had seemed to be so peaceful. As if everything going on at this very moment was a haze, with hushed memories whispering to her in a lull voice. She pretended she had kissed him back here, on the corner but in actuality, she was afraid of his reaction – she didn't want to loose him now. "And I'll be the devious little kidnapper." She teased, swinging their linked arms in a small skip. "Always." He winked.
Drawing her eyes over the walls that decorate the city, a spoon full of color and glowing neon lights. She couldn't help it, but every time they had passed a strip club she would wince and she knew Nate pretended not to notice, because he didn't want to believe it. He even ignored the whistles from people in their cars at Jenny's lingerie attire, covered in only leggings and a leather jacket. But all he did was smile back at her, blocking out everything else around them, even the vibrate in his jean's pocket. "Nate," she drawled out, her eyes hypnotized in his. "Your phone." She coughed, looking away to the pavement as he grabbed to answer it. It was most likely his friends asking where he was, she thought but when she heard the mousey voice of a girl on the other line, her mind led to other assumptions. Toying with the rings on her fingers, Nate had walked a few steps away, whispering into the phone with a small smirk that played on his mouth. Looking at him, he caught her glance and signaled that he would only be a minute. "I would rather be with you than here with the boys, trust me but I don't think there's anyway that I can get out of this." She felt like she was prying into something that she should stay very far away from, but she couldn't help but over hear those words – he would rather be there with her, she wanted to know who she was. She already felt like the jealous girlfriend. Trying to wipe off her look of disappointment, she went to lean up against a brick wall on the side of the concrete and pulled out a cigarette from the box in her pocket. Closing his phone, instead of lighting out her cigarette this time he asked if he could have one. "Sure" she said, watching him pull one to his soft pink lips and light it with a silver lighter from his pocket. "It was just Serena, she's with Dan and they wanted meet up and do something tonight, but I told them I already had plans." He explained, Jenny acted like she understood but in reality she didn't know anything that was going on in that life that he lived in, or the one that she use to live in. "You mean, Serena and my brother are still dating?" she bemused, for a second Nate had almost acted surprised but with how much time he had been spending with Dan lately, he knew him and Jenny haven't been in touch in a while and he was still wondering if he should mention seeing Jenny down here to him or keep her his little secret, a dirty one. Exhaling smoke from the side of his mouth, he moved closer to the wall, so that he was standing directly in front of her now. "It's been rough for them lately, but they're trying." He let the words linger, wondering if to ask her if she was going to plan on seeing them anytime soon but before he could build up the words she had already read his mind. "I was going to visit soon, I just didn't know how to make up for the lost time or if I even can." She continued, "I really admire what they have together. When I was younger, I use to always think that my parents were what love meant but it turns out that I was wrong and now my brother has started to define it. I can't help but to find some humor in it or maybe it's not humor and I just want it to be." She laughed, the smoke escaping her mouth. Love was always candy coated on the outside, Jenny knew this, she was not to be seen as cupid's fool. She knew when someone was forcing a smile, just like the one she just pulled. The fact that her brother was able to find love before her and flaunt it every chance he got hit a nerve and part of the reason she never talked to him was because she didn't want to know how things were going with Serena. If he was with her, it would only let her know that you don't abandon someone when things get rough- something that she has already done and doesn't want to suffer the guilt for and if he wasn't with her, her image of love would only be even more ruined that it had already been before her parents and before Nate. Unfortunately, now she knew and now she had started to wonder if her and Nate could've happened if she had maybe stayed around a little longer instead of running away from the one thing that she wanted most. "Not everything lasts forever; I don't think it's supposed to be. Things would never end if there wasn't someone or something better for them out in the world." The look on Nate's face right now was something that she was going to repeat over and over again, furrowed brows of sympathy that made her want to hug him until eternity and the way that he bit down on his bottom lip, as if he was thriving the same thing that she was – that one kiss. But instead, he only distanced himself, acting like he didn't want to blow cigarette smoke in her face but she was sure the reason was because he didn't want that one thing to happen because he didn't feel the same way about her anymore.
Throwing her cigarette to the floor, she let it burn out on it's own, whereas Nate had already burnt his out with the bottom of his shoe. The two of them stood in silence, not the anticipated awkward kind but the one where you don't need words to speak to each other and you can stand there in a comfortable silence and still appreciate the company of each other. "Nate," she sighed "I have to be heading home soon." Of course she lied, but it wasn't because she didn't want to see him it was because she didn't want to ruin this moment. There were a lot of unanswered questions between them but she was sure that she would be seeing him again, she had a gut feeling and she was sure those weren't only the butterflies. Nodding, he held his hand out and Jenny grabbed onto it with no hesitation. "That's fine." He flashed his infamous smile, making her insides turnover and dance to the beat of the rushing blood through her veins that all floated to her cheeks. "I was just going to ask you something first, It's been on my mind for a while." He seemed flustered, "But, why didn't you give me any notice when you left?" She felt her heart break a little when he said that. She left because he had abandoned her, after not keeping in touch with her for over a month she was under the impression that she did something wrong and that he wasn't interested in her, she had been too embarrassed to face him before she left. Leaving was easier for her, but how was she suppose to tell all of that to him? This was suppose to be his fault but she was starting to feel like it was hers all along. She could feel her face heat up, letting go of his hand she turned around to regain her posture. "It thought it would be easier." She blankly said, knowing that she was wrong. Turning back to him, he had moved closer to her and her face was now directly under his. She stayed still, as if she forgot to move and she was marionette doll with no strings, her knees felt weak and the only control she had over her body right now was her mouth and the words that would spill from them. Her mouth, her lips and the control they could have over him."Then? Was it?" he asked in a lull voice. What a stupid question, she thought. He should know it wasn't, he should know, she kept repeating to herself, still unable to move. "Jenny." He said more assertive, her head starting to move more towards the ground away from the power his eyes had over her. His eyes, hypnotizing her into a broken doll. He pulled her chin back up towards him with his fingers, "Please, I want to know." Holding back her outburst, holding back the pushing waterfall in her eyes, she tried to look at him without breaking or without making a move, without being the Jenny she wanted to be with him. Why was he doing this to her? He was the one who abandoned her! She was only moving on and with him here, standing in front of her with his puppy dog eyes, it was making this all impossible for her. "Why are you pushing this on me? Please, can't we talk about this later?" she said, her voice still dull under his grip. "Out of all of the things I could've brought up and you can't let me know this one single thing? Do you have any idea how frustrating this is?" his head finally moved, hand pushed against his forehead. "I'm sorry if I've intruded on this new life you have going for you, but I knew you once and you're not just going to go away without giving me a decent reason to say goodbye." Frustrated, she grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, squeezing her fist as hard as she could and then letting him go. Instead of her hand falling back to her side, he grabbed it and intertwined his fingers with hers. "Do you want me out of your life?" he asked this once and last time, wanting to wipe the water from the corner of her eyes. He didn't want to upset her, only wanted the opposite. She didn't know it, but he still cared about her just as much as he ever did. Looking at their hands locked together, there was no way that she wanted him out of her life either. "I never wanted you gone, don't ever think that." She said, "Leaving was one of the most hardest things for me to do in my life, but I couldn't deal with the pressure. Of. Of everything. " she stuttered, starting to let some of the tears escape the rim of her eyes. Letting go of her hand, he ran his fingers through her tousled hair, "You don't have to do anything you don't want to." And with those last words, his lips were pressed against hers and she was kissing back.