Disclaimer: I disclaim.

Chapter 2: "You're heart seems so cold tonight…"

He sat there, slouched, hands clasped together, staring at her sleeping form. Blonde hair fanning out on the dingy couch, one hand resting over her abdomen, and the other falling limply off the side of the couch. He sat on the makeshift chair consisting of a plastic crate with an old, throw pillow as a cushion, in complete silence. The only sound was Jude breathing deeply.

He didn't blink. No, not once. Studying her, subconsciously trying to memorize everything about her that he hadn't already, if that was possible.

Rise. Fall. Inhale Exhale.

Tommy watched her stomach rise and fall with the rhythm of her breathing and found his breathing matching hers. He heard her murmur something and was snapped out of his hypnotic-like state.

He sighed deeply and ran his fingers through his short, brown hair, remembering every inebriated word she said earlier that night to him, like poison to his veins. Never before has he seen Jude so angry, so brutal, so torn down. Never before had he seen anyone cry as much as she had. Never before had he hated himself more. And never before had Tom Quincy loved someone as much as he the girl lying passed out drunk on the couch. And he would never love anyway the same way he loved Jude Harrison.

But he was an arrogant asshole. He knew that. He pushed her away. He made them this way, and he made her hate him. He made her think he didn't love her, when he really did. He was an arrogant asshole in love. None of that mattered. She would never believe him. She didn't believe him. She didn't believe in him.

That was the last thought he would think before he went to sleep that night, if he ever got to sleep that is.

He stood up and walked to where she was. He stood over her, staring down. His hand found it's way to her soft, golden lockes. He ran his fingers though her hair, ever-so-gently, and then leaned down and place a kiss on her forehead.

"I wish I could tell you the truth. I really do," he whispered before he pulled away.

Tommy gathered the beat up pillow he had been sitting on and placed it on the floor next to the couch. He laid down, shifting uncomfortably trying to find an even more slightly more comfortable position. His shivered from the coldness of the hard floor through his shirt.

He laid still for a few moments, staring up at the cracked, dingy far up ceiling, trying to get his body to relax.

Rise. Fall. Inhale. Exhale.

He felt something warm hit him lightly on the face. His hand reached up and grasped for hers instinctively. He turned on his side, never letting go of her hand. He stared at the pale, porcelain delicate hand he held in his large, calloused one. He ran his fingers over hers, tracing them.

He jumped away when the shrill ringing of her phone sounded. He reached for her jacket that she had so casually tossed missing the couch, causing it too land on the floor. He reached inside her pocket and pulled it out, glancing up to see if it had disturbed her.

She just continued with her deep slumber. He placed his finger on the volume button on the side of the phone to silence it. But not without looking at the caller ID.

Kwest.

Why the hell was Kwest calling her at 2:45 in the morning? He hit the volume button silencing the phone, but not without curiosity and perhaps a twinge of jealousy or anger rising inside him.

Something wasn't right. You don't call someone at 2:45 in the morning, unless it's one of three things:

1. An emergency. Nope. Kwest would have called him.

2. Drunk Dialing. Kwest didn't get drunk. Yes he drank, but drunk? Never.

3. A late night hookup.

Suddenly a thought hit Tommy. Jude's words resounding in his brain, nagging him, left over from their argument that night.

"You didn't have to walk me to my door, Tom," she slurred slightly. "I can my find my own, um, my own…studio." She pushed away from Tommy , who had practically carried her up the stairs, and leaned against the wall

"Yeah sure."

"Shut up yes I can!" she yelled drunkenly.

"Jude."

"What?" she snapped.

"You're standing in front of the wrong door. That's not your studio," he pointed out trying to not laugh.

She looked up. 305.

"Oh shut up. I was only off by one number," Jude stated defensively.

"Whatever you say sweetheart," he smirked.

"Leave before I puke all over you shoes, pretty boy," Jude commanded as she shot him her beast death glare. If she hadn't been drunk he might have actually been intimidated.

"No, not until you get inside. Now where are your keys?"

Jude looked at the floor, trying to think. She patted her coat pocket. Nope no keys.

"Um , I can't remember," she whispered embarrassed.

Tommy rolled his eyes. "That's great. Where was the last place you had them?"

Jude looked at him like he was stupid. If she remembered where they were do you think she would have been standing here with him of all people?

"If I knew that, I wouldn't be standing here now would I?"

"You know for someone who is severely intoxicated you still can't shut up. Not to mention you're speech is impeccable," Tommy remarked.

"I'm drunk not stupid. So now if you're not going to help me then just leave. I don't want you here anyways. I don't need your help," Jude stated bitterly.

"Jude don't start…" he pleaded. He didn't want to do this with her here, now, in the middle of her hallway at 2 o'clock in the morning.

"No, I think it's time to know what I really think about you,' she insisted her arms folded across her chest. She pushed off the wall that she had her back to, supporting her. She suddenly felt a little dizzy and was having a hard time keeping her balance. She felt her legs giving way.

Jude looked up in surprise, expecting to hit the floor, but strong arms caught her.

"Let's just get you inside, then you can yell at me," he said, his eyes meeting hers. She looked away before she started to cry again.

One look into his eyes and she could fell herself start to fall again. Then she remembers he's not hers to call her own.

She let herself fall every time. Over and over. No matter what he does, she always lets him back him. No. Not this time. She can't. Not now. Not ever.

"Ok," she whispered letting him support her. The sooner she was inside, the sooner she was away from him and the sooner she was safe.

"Spare Key," she suddenly remembered. "Under the piece of carpet by the door."

Tommy leaned down, taking Jude with him. He noticed a piece of carpet that had been ripped and lifted from the floor. He pulled it back to reveal a dull, metal key.

He quickly unlocked the door, leading Jude inside. She struggled to break free of him, but she felt cold at the sudden lack of contact with his body. She leaned into him more, and Tommy couldn't help but to smile. He missed this. He missed her

"I think I can stand now."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," she replied and he let go of her. Jude steadied herself and she ripped of her jacket and tossed it to the couch, but missed. It fell to the floor.

Jude let out a frustrated sigh.

"You can leave now," she said without turning to look at him. She could feel him looking at her, sending a tingle up her spine. She couldn't turn around. Her she was in her studio alone with him. And she wanted nothing more than to kiss him, and let him take away all the pain she had felt from the last few months. To make her whole again. To have something to believe in again. To have her Tommy back.

Jude scolded herself. He was never hers. He belonged to her sister.

"Jude, are you sure? I can-" Tommy started to ask, as he crept towards her, and placed a hand lovingly on her shoulder.

"You were never mine to begin with," she spoke barely audible as she bit her lip and she tried to shrug his hand off her shoulder. He was killing her.

"What?" he questioned.

"Nothing. Just go."

"No. Jude I'm worried about you," he told her, every decibel of his voice conveying his truth.

"Why did you come tonight?" she asked still refusing to look at him.

Tommy let out a heavy sigh. "Because I care about you Jude," he said selecting his words carefully, fighting the urge to yell the he loved her and turn her to face him and kiss her fiercely with passion.

Jude let out a bitter laugh and spun around to face him.

"You care about me? You CARE about me!" she yelled incredulous, feeling sober at the moment, her anger surging though her. "That is the biggest piece of bullshit I've ever heard."

"It's not bullshit Jude!" he retorted as he rushed to be closer to her but she backed away only more.

"God, yes it is! You don't get it Tommy, do you?" she asked him, tears starting to fall.

"If you cared about me you wouldn't have kissed me on my 16th birthday. And then asked me too pretend it never happened! You wouldn't have said the things to me that you did on my 17th birthday! You would have seen that I am, was head over heels in love you. No, but you know what? maybe you did. And you decided it didn't matter anyway. You decided it was ok to break my heart, to break me over and over and over again. You don't do the things we did together and then tell me you're with someone else, let alone my sister. If you cared at all about me, you wouldn't have married Sadie! You're an arrogant, conceited bastard who only cares about yourself. I see that now. I HATE you Tom Quincy! I don't believe in you anymore" Jude unleashed, her tears now full blown. She cursed herself. She had told herself she would never let Tom Quincy see what he had done to her. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

Tommy was suddenly standing a mere foot from her, still too far in his opinion. Tommy felt like he was suffocating. Her words cutting him like a knife. Hate. Don't believe. He swallowed hard to avoid the tears he could feel forming behind his blue eyes. And Tom Quincy never cried, especially over a girl.

He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't hold it all inside anymore. He couldn't hurt her anymore. He couldn't have her hate him. He had to let her know.

"Jude I care about you more than you could ever know," he began, oddly calm. "I hated seeing you with another guy. Jamie. Speed. God, that guy at the bar. I wanted to kill him over and over and over again for looking at you, for touching you, for hurting you,'" he continued, he jaw and fists clenching in anger, eyes flashing.

Even through her tears Jude could see his eyes cloud over with darkness and anger as he spoke of the man who forced himself on her tonight. His breathing had become more ragged, he stepped dangerously closer to her, he was now just a mere inch or two away from her face.

He took his hands and wiped away the tears stained with mascara and eyeliner from her face. Jude could feel her resolve crumbling. The wall she had tried to build between them suddenly burning to ashes.

"I hate myself everyday for falling in love with you, Tommy," she whispered, her breath playing upon his lips.

He grabbed her waist and pulled her flush against him, breathing erratically.

"I miss you, Jude. I want you Jude," he admitted in a husky whisper. "You were mine to begin with as I am yours."

Jude closed her eyes trying to savor his words. As badly as she wanted, needed this and him, she couldn't do it. His actions always spoke louder than words. And as much as she despised Sadie, she wouldn't let Tommy destroy her too. Jude pushed herself away from him, taking him by surprise and causing him to stumble backwards.

"No! I won't do this. Not again. I can't do this to Sadie. I can't do this to myself. I'm not yours anymore, Tommy."

"What do you mean, Jude?" he interrogated his eyes flashing with anger and hurt. "It's always been that way, and it always will be. Married or not, my heart belongs with you. I'm just sorry it took me so long to say it."

"It doesn't matter anymore, Tommy." Jude looked down at the floor, anything to avoid his gaze. The one that made her want to do ungodly things.

"Yes it does, Jude!" he insisted as he grabbed her arms forcing her to look back at him. '"It does matter."

"No you don't get it!' she yelled. "You're not hearing me. I share my bed with someone else now, Tommy. Someone who isn't you!"

Tommy backed away, as if he was being burned. His eyes became darkly intense, hands clenching at his sides, jaw tensing like the rest of his body.

No. He refused to believe that. Jude. Sleeping.With. Someone.Else. She was a god damned liar. He looked at her and knew instantly she wasn't lying. That's what she had been hiding. Tommy struggled for air, trying to find a way to breathe and comprehend her revelation. Tommy was in hell, and Jude was the devil, torturing him.

"Who?"

"No one Tommy."

"Jude, WHO the fuck is it! Speed? Braden?"

"No one, okay. I'm not sleeping with anyone. I just wanted you to know what it felt like to know how it feels to have the person you care about the most can rip your heart out," she half-truthfully and half-lied at the same time.

She did want him to know what it felt like, but she had to lie to cover up the truth about her and Kwest. She didn't even want to think about what would happen when people found out, if they did.

"Well you succeeded, Jude. Congratulations," he replied dryly.

"I can't do this anymore, especially not tonight. I'm going to bed Tommy. You can show yourself out," Jude walked away not having the strength to fight anymore.

She laid on the couch and closed her eyes tightly, wishing away tonight's events, and the pain, the hurt, and the lies. When had her life become so damn complicated?

The day she met Tom Quincy.

Tommy recollected as he thought about the late night phone call and the argument. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense.

All the time she spent producing with Kwest. The lunches. The late night studio session. The inside jokes and casual flirting. The secretive phone calls. The nights no one knew where she was. Not to mention, Kwest had become more distant from Tommy these last few months more than usual.

Tommy looked over at a sleeping Jude. Jude wouldn't lie to him. Not about something like this. Then again Jude was a beautiful woman. A woman whose heart he had broken. A woman he loved more than anything and had idea that everything she thought she knew, including his marriage, was a lie.

A lie he wanted to be free from. But the price was to high. Not just for him. But for Jude.

Here, Tom Quincy sat watching Jude Harrison sleep, while longing for the blonde girl laying on the couch and trying to convince himself that the theory that the woman he loved and his best friend were sleeping together is completely false.

He would find out one way or another. And one way or another he would get back his life. One way or another Jude would be his again. Even if she didn't know it, yet.

End Chapter 2

Well this chapter certainly didn't turn out the way I wanted it too, but I'm too tired too care right now. But I do care whether you guys like it or not. Definitely not my best. Oh well

Thank you again for your amazing reviews (personal comments posted next chapter).

BTW, the whole point of this chapter really is that no matter what seems to happen, Tommy and Jude can never fully quit each other. Just thought I'd share that with you.

Don't forget to review, pretty please

Next Chapter:

"Don't you think it's just a little fucked up that sometimes I pretend you're him and you pretend she's me?"

"This is just as hard for me as it is for you, Tom. You have no idea what I've lost. This has got to stop."