Still Planning…

Where was I? Oh yeah, so they are in the woods. By "they" I mean Alan Rickman, Ralph Fiennes and Jason Isaacs.

"Anyway, more to the point," Rickman Snape draws the trio into focusing," We were going to make some sort of plan."

"So that's what this is about?" Says Isaacs.

"Well, I guess. I mean, I have come to terms with it but captain wonderful here hasn't, naturally."

The enraged Fiennes then proceeds to throw a hissy fit, "Hey! I don't wanna mutha effin die at least with that retard not dying too. I could take the bitch down with me…at least."

Jason Isaacs turns to Alan Rickman, "Bitch? He means Harry Potter, then."

"Precisely," Rickman answers rolling his eyes.

"Wait, you're one of my little followers, I will kill you with magic! You best watch it!" Threatens Fiennes to Jason Isaacs…scarily.

"This is going know where…" says Isaacs Malfoy to Alan Snape.

"Such is life. Sorry, I'm a bit drained after waiting in these fucking woods for five hours!"

"I didn't take that muther effing long, negative nancy." Snaps Fiennes.

"I don't even need to be here, I live. In fact we come to find out towards the end of the book that I have redeeming qualities. I'm going to leave." Huffs Isaacs.

"Yeah, go take care of your flippin freak albino son. He might need his diaper changed." Bitches Fiennes to Jason Issacs.

"He's serious? When he says that stuff…he's serious?" Says Isaacs looking questionably to Rickman.

"Just go." Waves Alan Rickman from his stoop. His head is now in his hands because a Ralph induced migraine. "Go, its ok. I'm a professional at handling his pretentiousness."

"Ok, well, good luck Alan." He says sincerely to him. "Bye Ralph." He mutters quickly under his breath before poofing away in his dark smoke stuff. It's so magical.

Now the dynamic duo is by themselves in the magical forest. Fiennes is pacing and Alan is on the verge of a mental breakdown. It's now 12:30 at night. Dark Lord of PMS looks as though he's about to say something when Alan puts up his hand for him to shut up. Fiennes becomes angry and flings out his wand pointing it menacingly at a non responsive Rickman. "What…..are you going…..to do…with that?" Rickman groans head facing the forest floor.

"Damn it! I am a Lord! A Dark Lord! That means I'm God Damn badass powerful! You don't get titled Lord for being a puss. I will spell you to death, with spells, and curse spells, of death…and destruction."

There is a moment of silence and stillness….then….Alan mutters something "Ffroot em."

"What?" Fiennes snaps still holding his "spell casting" postion

"Bloody, shoot him!" Alan Rickman lifts his head abruptly throwing his hands up, "give me that!" He growls snatching the stupid wand from Ralph's hand.

"Wait a minute…" Fiennes steps back hesitantly. "What?"

Alan stares at him with intense "are you stupid" eyes.

"No, wait. Like shoot him with, like that laser looking ish that comes from my wand, like when I battle?"

"Just, shoot the damn kid Ralph." Rickman stands rubbing his but and starts to walk away. Fiennes chases after him.

"Naw, naw hold up. I'm a friggin evil warlock of death and mayhem; I kill children and have no soul! I'm the most powerful wizard in the muther effing land!"

"What! That's like being the fastest kid with cerebral palsy, Ralph, Christ. Get over it and shoot him."

"Maybe I will." Ralph says defiantly stopping to stand his ground.

"Okay." Rickman keeps walking

"Hey!" He calls out to Alan. "What the hell is up with you!?"

"I'm old Ralph, like in wizard years yeah your like 2,000 or something but look at my IMDB page…I'm like 60. I can't be up scheming evil plans until 1:00 in the morning."

"But…"

"Go home, Ralph." And with that, clutching his ass, Snape walks off into the distance. Leaving a rather shattered Tom Ralph Voldemort Fiennes Riddle…Dark Lord.

(Guess I'm just going to just keep writing…with know encouragement from others….REVIEW!!! Jesus!...what? I mean happiness and puppies, children!)