Chapter 3: A Coincidence? I THINK… Maybe, possibly, I don't know
A week had gone by and I had finally been settling into this world and after a very long talk with Histoire I more or less know as much I need to about this world. Unfortunately for me, the money situation isn't going all too well the card works … but the problem is when I try to use it the display goes all wonky and glitchy, I asked Histoire about it and gave her my 2 cents on it and that it's trying to register my currency but unable to do so, she mostly agreed on this and will look into how to convert the digital number.
On some good notes, Nepgear handed me my phone back yesterday and with it a cord a familiar looking cord, one that can charge my damn phone. Along with the cord came a smaller card that I know well of, twas a sim card, most likely from a provider in Gamindustri, THIS made me really happy because with internet comes many things one being I can check on all my apps and such and see if I missed anything… til the disappointment immediately rolled in to say "HEY FUCK YOU BTW" why? Because NOTHING worked at all internet wise. After the disappointment that came with me not being able to browse anything and work out what was up with my world currently I just resorted to new looking apps that Nepgear must have added on they were the simple things like messaging and calling, things like that, the absolute basics.
And now I'm sitting here just after getting my ass handed to me by Neptune 'That girl is something else...' Then the dreaded question came in by none other than IF everyone was together to hear it too, well… that makes sense we were all currently gathered around the lounging area of the Basilicom.
"So… mind explaining yourself?" IF asked, "Whatever could you mean?" I questioned her back "Well after some 'careful' observation I've noticed some oddities about you. Example; your phone, the green paper looking items inside your wallet, but most importantly your manner of speaking. So explain yourself" I inhaled deeply 'I am 101 hundo percent fucked right now' "Well looks like you figured me out… albeit it wasn't all too difficult" I muttered the last part before continuing on "It's simple really I'm not from Gamindustri" 'Please take this answer seriously and don't question it any further than it needs to be' "Then where are you from?" IF questioned 'This will be a difficult question to answer could tell the truth but it's not very believable' "Another continent far from here very far" putting emphasis on the 'very.'
IF was in thought about this analyzing everything probably "You're lying" she boldly stated 'Well… shit' I sighed "Nope not at all but I'll be more straight with you" I replied "I'm telling the truth albeit a little twisted, I am from a different continent… but that continent is quite far away… far enough that I couldn't reach it even through normal means. If I tried to explain it better you would no doubt question my sanity and then I'd probably be put in a mental hospital" IF was about to speak but I cut her off "You want the truth? The full truth?" She nodded "Alrighty then I discussed this already with Histoire and she is still looking into it herself but from her current information she has on me the only logical conclusion she deduced was that I am not of this world… literally"
IF was confused at these words until Histoire came into the room herself hearing what I said "To put it simply what I deduced of him is that he is from another Dimension that is about as much as I have right now" IF turned to Histoire then back to me with this look that says 'You have got to be kidding me right?' "It's not a joke IF" I told her seriously Nepgear piped up "Wait… if you're from another Dimension than how did you get here?" Neptune immediately turned her attention to me "Ooh we get to hear Jamie's backstory" she was interested in what I have to tell "Not much of a backstory more just how I ended up he- wait 'Jamie?'" Neptune grinned at me "Yeah it's a nickname for you it's a lot more fun to say."
A bit of silence loomed over the room til I spoke up "Sorry, I just didn't expect to hear that name like… at all" taking a breath I move on from that conversation "Alright let us do this whole story thing."
"Ahem, Boys and Girls, Ladies, mmm and a Gentleman. Turn the lights down low and shut your faces as I wrap you in the cozy blanket of a story, a story as heartwarming and soft… as a mothers kiss. Or is it?" I began in a storytelling voice "Okay for real I was taking a walk after waking up from a nap. Something or someone contacted me and offered me an opportunity. I agreed and here I am" everyone stared at me in silence til Neptune broke it "Really? That's it? Man that was really boring now my excitement is gone" she pouted I sighed at this remark "Well that's what really happened so uhh, yeah" 'And with that I killed the mood yay for me' Histoire then looked over to me "Anyways I came to let you know that I have a way to convert your currency I just need a general idea of your worlds prices so I can compare them" I pulled out my wallet and grabbed the cash that was in it "This amounts to 300 in my currency which if I was to give it an item linked the amount… a second-hand current generation games console is pretty close to it" Nepgear looked at me "Well a used console for the current ones on the market is 15 thousand credits" '15 thousand, huh, that sounds like a lot but I get the feeling I have much more than that.'
"Gear can I ask how common a console is in the average persons home? Because where I'm from they aren't all that common" 'Alright let's see what she has to say' "Oh from the last poll we ran 80% of people living in all four nations combined own a console" '80% is a lot even if the entire continent had a populace of say 10 million people that's 8 million people who own a console and if I remember last time I checked the statistics for my country it was around 40%' "Alright if that is so then getting the materials or resources to manufacture a console is easy I'm guessing?" Nepgear nodded and answered me "Oh most parts are either obtained through harvesting natural resources or monster drops so they end up in bulk quite a bit mostly due to monsters" 'Alrighty then consoles are a bad comparison, hmmm, oh I know maybe that could work' "Okay that was a bad comparison better idea how much is the average cost of a new video game made by the top companies?" Nepgear started thinking "Well… most new games made by top companies cost around 6000 to 8000 credits depending on the nation you live in"
'That's all I needed to hear consoles can be as cheap as they want to be but game prices are always higher than it really should be' "That's all I needed to hear Nepgear. From what you told me consoles are extremely common so I thought that it's possible that the price might be lower in comparison because of consumer demand tl;dr purposely lower the price sell more units everyone wins" taking a breath "Now we take a look at companies that make video games, most lesser known games made by say… indie developers generally range between 10 – 30 dollars however the more well-known companies generally sell their games for 60 dollars however those companies are overseas and translating them to my currency results in 80 dollars for a damn game… greedy fucks" muttering those last words.
"Thus I conclude if my Math is on point 1 dollar equals 100 credits" I then pull out my wallet and pull out a receipt of the last time I deposited cash into my bank account "If all that is then this number right here says I am a very rich man" the receipt says I have 11 thousand dollars in my bank account I hand it over to Nepgear so she could see. When she saw the number her eyes widened "11 thousand?! And this is of your currency right?" 'Oh my that face is golden' "Yep was originally saving up to buy a car but plans have changed it seems and if you worked it out already that amounts to..." Histoire finished my answer "1.1 million credits correct?" I grin at this "Bingo" 'This is just gold, pure gold' "Well now that, that's sorted out I will get it done in around 3 days" Neptune realizing what was being said "Wait, wait, wait if you have that much money… then" she breathed in "Let's go out and buy pudding!"
"No" I immediately shot her down "Awww…" she said in a saddened tone. Looking at the time I see it's still pretty early in the day 'Guess I could go out I ain't got anything to do today' "I'm going out for the day I'll see you all later" waving at the others as I exit the area 'Now then what to do… questing? Eh sure still need some cash til everything is sorted out' as I head off towards the Guild.
I am now in a field stalking my prey from a nearby bush I turn around as if I'm talking to people who are watching this on a television and in my best Steve Irwin impression "That right there is a common gathering of Dogoos, annoying little creatures but truly marvellous in their own unique way, it looks like they are all peaceful but from the information I received from the Guild, these little bastards are disturbing the travellers and locals here at the Planeptune – Lastation border. Let's get a closer look shall we?" With those words I move forward towards the gathering now I'd say gathering is an understatement, to be honest, because there is at least 40 of them 'Guess I'll have to play this smart' although weak alone they are pains in the ass when there is a lot. Working out my plan of action carefully I look around to see if I can find anything I could use as a distraction 'Hmmm… nothing… Wait! I got an idea, I saw this once in a game' I pull out my rifle and drop a bullet out 'Hope this works.'
With all my strength I threw the bullet in the direction of the dogoos and quickly ran back to the bush when the bullet landed it hit a dogoo and caused it to make a noise in confusion 'Alright now do what I want you to do' it then alerted it's blue allies that something or someone was near and they all gathered together very closely 'Just as planned' I grinned while Holding out my rifle I aim towards the cluster of blue and line up a shot that should hit enough to make this less painful.
or at least I thought I would til a certain someone came straight into the horde shouting something and taking out a few with her sword this did not sit well with me as I immediately stood up and shouted at the lady in an angry tone "HEY THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YA CUNT I HAD A PERFECT SHOT LINED UP TIL YOU CAME AND RUINED IT!" The girl now turns to me as I take in her appearance. She looked just like Neptune when she transformed except for a palette swap and a hair change. 'Looks like Neptune transformed except she has long white hair and teal? Coloured eyes honestly I can't tell too far away' she didn't look very happy with the tone I gave her.
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE INSULTING ME LIKE THAT HUH? AND IF YOU HAD SOMETHING LINED UP WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE IT SOONER, MAYBE IF YOU DID I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO COME IN AND START IT FOR YOU!" She yelled back at me although thoughts to not continue this plagued the back of my mind… those thoughts never came to fruition instead I rode the argument even further down the river.
"WHO AM I TALKING TO? OH, I DON'T KNOW MAYBE IM TALKING TO THE FUCKING TREE, BUT I'M DEFINITELY NOT TALKING TO AN OLD COON LIKE YOU!" She was fuming at this point "WHO ARE YOU CALLING OLD!?" She yelled back at me "EXCUSE ME PRINCESS BUT DO YOU SEE ANYONE ELSE IN THE VICINITY WHO LOOKS OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY MOTHER!?" On a scale of 1 to 10 id give her an 11 if Neptune was here she'd give her a 12 on the pissed off meter "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR ATTITUDE PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A BEATDOWN!" Again in the back of my mind I'm probably saying something along the lines of 'Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck I'm fucking dead now' but the words that exited my mouth were… different.
"TRY ME YA OUT OF DATE SWIMSUIT MODEL!" With those words and a fit of anger I pull out my sword and ready myself in return she readies her sword at her side and flew towards me and swung her giant sword at me quite quickly I barely had enough time to raise my own, but I managed the force in the attack sent me back a bit but she didn't let up. She continued her attacks keeping me on the defensive until I found an opening I could exploit. 'C'mon where is it… There!' Finding my opening I slash at her side she barely managed to dodge it… however, I wasn't going to stop there and I went on the offensive. She withstood my attacks with relative ease and I kicked her away sending her back a bit I don't know why I said it but these words just came out of my mouth as to why I was referencing this at all I seriously don't know.
"URGHH this is so frustrating. Ya' see this is what I don't get about you bad guys, you know the hero is gonna win but you Just. Don't. Die. Quickly… Man uhh... Example: this one guy in New Haven Right? City's burning people are dying left and right yadda, yadda, yadda. This jackhole rushes me with a spoon, Haha A FRICKING SPOON, and I'm dying laughing Right?! So I scoop out his stupid little eyeballs with it and his kids are all 'WAAAAAAH' And I HAAAA I Cant even ohhhh yes. He can't see where he's going, he's bumping into stuff and I. Anyway I dunno maybe you had to be there. The moral is: You're a total bitch."
She was confused at first as to what kind of crazy shit I was saying that changed quickly when she realized I called her a bitch and hoo boy was she fuming "YOU, HOW DARE YOU. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS I'M ENDING THIS RIGHT NOW!" She yelled in anger at me "BRING IT YA OLD HAG!" I yelled back at her as we charged at each other this was short lived though as a new card on the playing field came in stopping the fight well 2 cards and one was Purple Heart.
"ENOUGH!" She shouted at the both of us we both stopped in our tracks once Neptune arrived "Ahh shit I'm fucked now aren't I?" The new girl smiles awkwardly at my remark. Neptune looked at me "And you. I thought you knew better than to go picking fights with a CPU" those words echoed throughout my mind 'CPU...' "She's a CPU? You aren't pulling my leg right?" She looks at me with a deadpan expression 'Oh she's serious alright. I believe "Turbo fucked with a side of sauce" would be the appropriate words here.'
She looked over at the other CPU and spoke to her "And you Noire you very much should know better than this" the other CPU who I now know as Noire turned around facing away from us "I don't have to hear that from you of all people. He started it anyways maybe you should teach him how to properly talk to a lady" she put a huge emphasis on the word 'lady' before flying off in the direction of Lastation. I turned my back towards the girls and walked towards Planeptune "And where do you think you're going?" Neptune asked me in a stern tone "Back I ain't in the mood anymore. Do me a favour and finish off the dogoo quest for me and keep the rewards I need some time alone" Neptune sighed "Oh boy what are we going to do with him" she then turned to Nepgear "C'mon lets at least kill these… dogoos?" Neptune had turned to look to where the dogoos would be but there was just a field covered in blue slime. Somehow during the fight Noire and James ended up killing the dogoos without even realizing it.
'Just who the hell was he?! And to be stopped by Neptune urgh this is annoying' a certain black-haired CPU thought as she angrily walked into her Basilicom. "Oh Noire you're back. Huh? Is something wrong?" A younger black haired girl asked "Not now Uni" she sternly replied "Oh… okay" the younger girl named Uni said in a saddened tone
Returning to the Basilicom I walk straight into the guest room and flop onto the bed laying on my back "sigh I am so screwed when she gets back."
"When who? Gets back" 'Ahh shit now I'm done for' "I'm waiting" sighing I sit up from the bed "When you get back but it seems you're already here" looking over at my mental executioner "And considering you're still in that form in my words I'd say I'm 'Turbo fucked with a side of fries' am I correct?" Neptune sighs "No not exactly I just want to know why you were fighting with Noire" sighing again "Fiiiiiiine. Well, it started like this. I was out there perfecting my angle on a shot I was going to take so it could take out around 20 of the dogoos with one bullet til Bitchy Heart came in and stole my kill. I got pissed yelled at her she yelled back called her old a few times" Neptune snickered a bit at the mention of me calling Noire old "then things escalated from there. Said some crazy shit. Called her a bitch yadda, yadda, yadda and here we are."
Neptune took it all in 'I get this strange feeling that he would both get along and hate Blanc at the same time' "So what crazy thing did you say? I'm curious" I looked back at her "Oh nothing much just a quote from my favourite Video Game Villain of all time. Anyways I'm just gonna rest" Neptune then started to walk out "Also don't tell her where I am otherwise she will probably try to beat the ever living shit out of me" Neptune smiled at me "Can't make any promises but I'll try" she left the room and I dozed off.