There were once 25 tin soldiers who were all brothers for they had been made out of the same old tin spoon. They looked straight before them, and wore splendid armor of red white and blue. They must have been made in America.

The first thing in the world they ever heard were the words, "Tin soldiers!" uttered by a little boy named Kohaku, who clapped his hands with delight when the lid of the box in which they lay, was taken off.

They were given to him for a birthday present, and he stood at the table to set them up. The soldiers were all exactly alike, excepting one named Sesshomaru who had only one arm; he had been the last soldier made, and then there was not enough of the melted tin to finish him. So they made him to have only one arm, and this caused him to be very pissed off.

The table on which the tin soldiers stood was covered with other playthings, but the most attractive to the eye was a pretty little paper castle. Through the small windows the rooms could be seen. In front of the castle a number of little trees surrounded a piece of looking-glass, which was intended to represent a transparent lake. Swans, made of wax, swam on the lake, and were reflected in it.

All this was very pretty, but the prettiest of all was a tiny little lady, who stood at the open door of the castle; she also, was made of paper, and she wore a purple and white striped kimono. She wore feathers in her dark hair and green earrings in her ears. The little lady was a dancer, and she carried a large fan that covered one of her arms. Sesshomaru could not see it at all, and he thought that she, like himself, had only one arm.

"That is the wife for me," he thought. "But I'm too stoic and badass to admit I have feelings. Still, she's really hot." Then he laid himself at full length on the table behind a snuff-box that stood upon it, so that he could peep like a pervert at the little delicate lady, whose house said 'Kagura' on it, so Sesshomaru guessed that was her name.

When evening came, the other tin soldiers were all placed in the box, and the people of the house went to bed.

Then the playthings began to have their own games together and crap. The tin soldiers rattled in their box; they wanted to get out and join the amusements, but they could not open the lid. The nutcrackers played leap-frog, and the pencil jumped about the table. There was such a noise that the canary woke up and began to talk, and in poetry too.

Only Sesshomaru and Kagura remained in their places. She stood in a very sexy stance all sexy-like, with her big ass fan still covering her arm. He never took his eyes from her for even a moment. What a perverted stalker.

The clock struck twelve and, with a bounce, up sprang the lid of the snuff-box; but, instead of snuff, there jumped up a little black goblin named Naraku.

"Sesshomaru," said the goblin Naraku. "Don't wish for what does not belong to you."

But Sesshomaru pretended not to hear.

"Very well; wait till tomorrow, then! Kukuku." said Naraku.

When Kohaku came in the next morning, he placed Sesshomaru in the window. Now, whether it was the goblin Naraku who did it, or the draught, is not known, but the window flew open, and out fell Sesshomaru from the third story, into the street beneath.

Kohaku and his sister Sango went downstairs directly to look for him; but he was nowhere to be seen, although once they nearly ran over him.

It began to rain and the drops fell faster and faster, till there was a heavy shower. When it was over, two boys happened to pass by. One had silver hair just like Sesshomaru's and dog ears, the other with black hair and violet eyes. The dog-eared boy said, "Look, there is a tin soldier. He ought to have a boat to sail in."

So they made a boat out of a newspaper and placed Sesshomaru in it, and sent him sailing down the gutter while the two boys ran by the side of it and clapped their hands like retards.

The paper boat rocked up and down, and turned itself round sometimes so quickly that the Sesshomaru trembled; yet he remained firm; his countenance did not change; he was too stoic and macho so he looked straight before him, and grabbed his sword.

Suddenly the boat shot under a bridge which formed a part of a drain, and then it was as dark as the tin soldier's box.

"Where am I going now?" thought Sesshomaru. "This is Naraku's fault, I am sure. Ah, well, if Kagura were only here with me in the boat, I should not care for any darkness."

Suddenly there appeared water-toad Jaken, who lived in the drain.

"Have you a passport?" asked the Jaken. "Give it to me at once." But Sesshomaru remained silent and held his sword tighter than ever. The boat sailed on and the Jaken followed it. "Stop him, stop him; he has not paid toll, and has not shown his pass!"

But the stream rushed on stronger and stronger. Sesshomaru could already see daylight shining where the arch ended. Then he heard a roaring sound quite terrible enough to frighten the bravest man. At the end of the tunnel the drain fell into a large canal over a steep place, which made it as dangerous for him as a waterfall would be to us.

He was too close to it to stop, so the boat rushed on, and Sesshomaru could only hold himself as stiffly as possible, without moving an eyelid, to show that he was not afraid...even though he was scared enough to shit his pants.

The boat whirled round three or four times, and then filled with water to the very edge; nothing could save it from sinking. He now stood up to his neck in water, while deeper and deeper sank the boat, and the paper became soft and loose with the wetness, till at last the water closed over the Sesshomaru's head. He thought of the elegant little dancer Kagura whom he should never see again...

Then the paper boat fell to pieces, and Sesshomaru sank into the water and immediately afterwards was swallowed up by a great fish. Oh how dark it was inside the fish! A great deal darker than in the tunnel, and narrower too, but Sesshomaru continued firm, and lay at full length grabbing his sword.

The fish swam to and fro, making the most wonderful movements, but at last he became quite still. After a while, a flash of lightning seemed to pass through him, and then daylight approached, and a voice cried out, "Here is the tin soldier!"

The fish had been caught, taken to the market and sold to the cook Kaede, who took him into the kitchen and cut him open with a large knife. She picked up Sesshomaru and held him by the waist between her finger and thumb, and carried him into the room.

She placed him on the table, and he was in the very same room from the window of which he had fallen, there were the same children, the same playthings, standing on the table, and the pretty castle with the Kagura at the door; she still stood really sexy with her fan covering her arm, so she was as firm as himself.

It touched Sesshomaru so much to see her that he almost wept tin tears, but he kept them back. He only looked at her and they both remained silent.

Then one day when Kohaku had his friends over, the albino kid named Hakudoshi took Sesshomaru and threw him into the stove. He had no reason for doing so, therefore it must have been the fault of the black goblin Naraku who lived in the snuff-box.

He looked at the little lady, and she looked at him. He felt himself melting away, but he still remained firm holding his sword. Suddenly the door of the room flew open and the draught of air caught up Kagura and she fluttered like a sylph right into the stove by the side of the Sesshomaru.

Now in the original fairy tale they both die together in the stove, but I don't like that! Therefore, the stove was opened right back up by a little girl named Rin, who rescued the toy Sesshomaru and Kagura.

Not only that, she and Kohaku made a toy house for the two and placed them there so they could live happily ever after. YAYZ!