Alsdssg- I am afraid I can't answer that right now, because the whole point of this two parter was to reveal who "The Creator" is. (Hint hint, nudge nudge.) Yes, that joke is funny is? And it is from another fanfic, but I made sure to give the creator of that pun some credit in the last chapter. And you have two songs in your head? Ouch. I hope they go away.
Azulcat- Thanks for the two reviews! I love putting cliffhangers in my stories, I love the reaction I get. :)
And thank you Ebz and Invaderm for reviewing!!!!!
Disclaimer- I do not own Eragon, it belongs to CP. Plot. D. Vice and Character Limbo is property of Chris McFeely. However I own my Mary Sue, so don't steal her, or else I'll "Sue" you. And Darth Vader belongs to George Lucas.
And now I humbly present……
The Unusual Suspects, Part Two
Chapter Two of….
Mary Sue: A Company
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Detective Vice was thinking of a way to move the plot along.
You see, after "The Creator" yelled from out of the sky and forced him to stay in the fic for the length of the two parter. He decided to stay in the fic. But because the next chapter of the fic didn't come out for another week, he had to deal with the accommodations Wal-Mart provided him.
In other words, he had to stay in his wooden box.
While he was in his wooden box, he thought of potential suspects.
First, he wrote down all the names of authors who wrote stories in the Eragon section. But after that….. The trail ran cold, he would have to wait until this 'Eragon' fellow managed to get some more information out of this guy name DaAlCh. (Who he learned had four stories on fan I can say that I would never create a real Mary Sue." DaAlCh finally answered.
"Oh." Eragon sighed. He was so sure that DaAlCh would be the creator, I mean, all the evidence pointed to it…. But it turned out someone else was the creator!
DaAlCh spoke again, "And I will say that I will help you in your quest to find this "Creator" and I will help Detective Vice find out who the "Creator" is."
"Thanks DaAlCh." With a sigh, Eragon turned and left, he picked up Roran off the floor and dragged him across the house. He could not believe that he just wasted so much time of the fanfic trying to prove that DaAlCh was the creator. It turned out that DaAlCh was actually trying to stop the Mary Sue. He said so! He said that he would never create a real Mary Sue, and would help Detectiv-
Wait……
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In the dark confines of his room, (They weren't actually that dark, the creator just wanted to give you the feeling of mysteriousness.) The creator pressed a button, and spoke to the microphone at the fanfic he was writing.
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"WELL, HOW GOES YOUR PROGRESS, MORTAL."
Detective Vice looked up, and realized that the voice of the creator sounded an awful lot like Darth Vader's. He gulped and began to speak when all of a sudden in a rather vexed voice, the creator spoke again.
"DO NOT WORRY THAT MY VOICE SOUNDS LIKE LORD VADER'S, JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION."
The Detective opened his mouth again, and again the creator cut him off.
"I AM WAITING FOR YOUR ANSWER MORTAL."
Detective Vice opened his mouth again, but this time didn't say anything, when he was sure that the creator would not interrupt him, he started to speak.
"ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!"
Detective Vice yelled up to the voice, "I'M TRYING! You keep interrupting!"
A pause.
"OOPS."
"I am thinking of authors from fan who have posted stories in the Eragon section, but after that the trail goes cold."
Another pause.
"USE THIS, THIS IS A LIST OF AUTHORS WHO HAVE ALL REVIEWED A STORY THAT IS RATHER… SUSPICIOUS, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHO THE AUTHOR, I WILL DEAL WITH THE AUTHOR MYSELF."
"Wait a minute," Detective Vice muttered. "But you are the creator! Why are you going to deal with the author of a Mary Sue fic! And why are you helping me find out who "The creator" is, when YOU are the creator! And why are you helping me, because you are actually helping your Mary Sue's downfall?"
A third pause.
"IT DOES SEEM STRANGE, I KNOW. BUT IN REALITY, THAT SUE IS JUST ANOTHER PAWN IN MY GREAT GAME OF CHESS, THE ONLY REASON WHY I CREATED HER WAS TO CREATE AN INTERESTING FANFIC, USE THE LIST, MAKE MANY PEOPLE LAUGH, AND I WILL BE HAPPY."
A fourth pause.
"OR ELSE."
There was a flash of lighting and a crack of thunder. The Detective sighed, he had a lot of work to do, he looked at the first name on the list, and decided to email the address on the list and- He did a double take, what was SHE doing on the list?!
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Eragon led Roran down the stairs, he was debating whether or not to turn back. DaAlCh had just said something that didn't really add up… DaAlCh had just said something about a Detective Vice… but how would he know about Vice? Eragon knew for a fact that DaAlCh never shopped at Wal-Mart…. He himself never did either… so how would DaAlCh know about the detective? And more importantly, how did he know about the detective?
"What are you doing here, mortal? You were suppose to leave five minutes ago." Eragon turned to see the guy dressed in a Vader helmet, with a t-shirt and boxer shorts on. The guy had hairy legs too.
Scary.
Eragon was at a loss for words, then, the Vader-not-so-look-alike reached out and twisted his fingers.
Eragon began choking, he reached up to his throat in an attempt to get himself to breath again, and- "What are you doing?"
Roran had conveniently woken up, and was looking at his cousin in disbelief. Eragon undid the collar of the shirt and looked down at Roran. "The collar on my shirt was to tight, I had to get it looser. But what were YOU doing?" Eragon looked at the Vader-not-so-look-alike.
"I'm trying to snap my fingers at you for not answering my question right away, I've never been able to snap my darn fingers." With that, the Vader-not-so-look-alike examined his hand.
Roran called out to the Vader-not-so-look-alike. "Maybe it would help if you took off that big black glove!"
Vader looked at the big bulky glove on his hand and said, "Oh yes, that WOULD help wouldn't it? Thank you so much, I don't know how to thank you." Vader looked at them, then at the door. He cleared his throat and then yelled, "NOW BEGONE, FOOLISH MORTALS!"
Eragon looked down, then said "Well, I just thought of something I needed to tell DaAlCh. Can we go back upstairs?"
"I AM AFRAID LORD DAALCH IS BUSY AT THE MOMENT, THE NEXT TIME YOU CAN BOOK AN APPOINTMENT IS-"
Roran looked at Eragon. 'an appointment?" He mouthed at Eragon, then turned back to Vader.
"FIVE MINUTES FROM NOW."
Eragon spluttered and splerted. "Five MINUTES! We are already over 1200 words through the chapter, we don't have for five minutes of waiting around! We need to talk to DaAlCh NOW!"
Roran jumped in. "Yeah, and nothing you do will make us leave!"
Before they knew it, both of them were sprawled out over the front doorstep, as Vader closed the door behind them.
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A single light bulb lit up the room. It was connected to a chain and was dangling above a small metal chair. The only other two pieces of furniture in the room was a rather large imposing desk and a big imposing chair. And sitting on that imposing chair was…
Detective Vice!
In the small chair sat Alsdssg.
"Now…" interrogated the detective. "We can make this easy or difficult, which do you choose?"
A pause, before Alsdssg said "The easy way please."
"Alright… Did you or did you not review to the fan story, Mary Sue: A Comedy?"
"I did, twice."
"Then does that mean you enjoy Mary Sue fics?" Vice leaned in realllllllyyyy close. Then said, "Does it?"
"No of course not, in my first review I wrote "Uh Oh indeed." I'm really not a fan of sue fics, besides, THAT fanfic is really only a Mary Sue spoof fanfic, not a real fanfic. You don't have to worry about me being "The Creator" I don't know who the creator is, I only have suspicions. Now if you will excuse me, I have three songs stuck in my head. Good bye." And with that, Alsdssg got up and walked out of the story.
Detective Vice stroked his chin, he pulled out his pipe, lit it, and then muttered in a low voice. "Indeed…"
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Eragon sat up, and realized what had just happened. He then decided to call the group with his cell phone. He had news to tell, he had reasons to believe now that DaAlCh was indeed the creator.
He dialed the CP's phone number, and waited for the phone to start ringing, Roran was out cold, again. All Eragon could do now was wait.
Ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.
Finally someone answered. "Hello?" said Eragon into the phone.
"Hi!" Said Angela cheerfully on the other side of the phone.
"Huh?" Said Eragon, of all the people who would possibly answer CP's phone, he sure didn't expect her to answer. But he gathered himself quickly and then continued. "I… was just wondering where CP was… but if he isn't there that's fine… I can give you the information but you will have to relay it to Arya or Nasuada, okay."
Angela laughed, then spoke in a sing-song voice. "CP isn't here right now… He's… busy. And why should I give the information to Arya or Nasuada?"
This took Eragon aback. "Well…" He said in a slow voice, "Because Arya is the ambassador to the elves… and Nasuada is the leader of the Varden… they NEED to know this?"
Angela laughed again, then continued once again, "I know that, but why can't I know this 'information' my dear?"
Dear? Eragon had to admit she was starting to worry him. This time however, he could not get the words out. So Angela decided to jump in and say…
"Look, if you give me… $100, I'll relay the info back to Arya and Nasuada, okay kid?"
Silence.
Then; "WHAT!"
Angela just smiled on her end of the phone.
Eragon spluttered and splerted once again. "Th- This is BLACKMAIL! How dare you-"
"Why yes it is, but I still want you to give me a hundred bucks got that? Send it over as a check, or else I'll wallop you, so now, give me the info."
Wearily, Eragon started to babble out his suspicions to Angela, while opening up his check book and making a check out for a hundred dollars to Angela.
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Detective Vice looked over his new vict- suspect with suspicion. She said her name was Azulcat… but he didn't entirely trust her. He hated cats, especially blue ones.
He sighed and said his suspicions, "Now, would you like to this the easy way or the hard way?"
A second's pause, then she said, "The easy way of course."
He sighed, again, and wondered why so many of his suspects were taking the easy way, but he forced out of his head and continued on, "Now, you said you have reviewed this 'story' twice now, is this true?"
She nodded her head slowly, "Yes…….." She said slowly.
"And in your reviews," His eyes glittered menacingly, "You said it was a 'great story', why?"
"Well…. It IS a great story…. I mean it's funny… it's well written…."
Detective Vice nodded, he was fuming, plan A was shot down like a balloon, now it was time to bring out the other evidence. He loomed over her and said, "And, you also said that you wanted the author to update soon, is this true?"
"Yes it is, it is a great story, and I want to read some more of it." She said in a matter-of-fact voice "And while we are one the subject, why would I be "The Creator" when I am asking "The Creator" to update? I mean, come on…"
A pause.
"Oh"
Azulcat stood up and spoke crisply. "Now Detective, am I free to go?"
"Yes…." He said this rather distractedly.
Azulcat marched across the room, opened the door and exited. Now the detective was alone in the room, and running out of suspects…
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Angela walked to (CENSORED FOR SECURITY REASONS) In hopes of finding (CENSORED FOR SECURITY REASONS) When she finally arrived, she opened the door and found herself in a room.
After Eragon told her his suspicions of DaAlCh being the creator, she too and gotten very interested in finding out the answer to this mystery. Eragon had raised some very interesting questions that had no answer. For instance, DaAlCh spoke of Detective Vice, but how would DaAlCh know who Detective Vice was? (No one knew how Eragon knew who Detective Vice was either…) DaAlCh had never met Detective Vice, he never shopped at Wal-Mart, so he should not know who the Detective was unless he had written the story…
Eragon also told her that DaAlCh said that "He would never create a real Mary Sue…" Does that mean he would create a spoof Mary Sue? Either way, all the evidence was pointing to DaAlCh.
Now, more about that room she was in… It was another dark room, lit by a single rightful dangling from the ceiling. And this time there were many dozens of chairs, all with hooded figures occupying them.
She walked to the 'leaders' of the shadowy group, and pulled of the hood of one of them. It was CP.
"Now," said Angela firmly, "I have a lot of news to tell you, seeing as you weren't there to answer the phone. If only you weren't so busy with your (CENSORED FOR SECURITY REASONS) Now, if you would let me sit down…"
And so, Angela relayed all of the information sent by Eragon to CP, Arya and Nasuada.
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After a few minutes of talking, Angela stopped to let the three of them soak all of the newly found information in. Not that it was surprising news, but it was bad news nonetheless.
CP put his hood back on, and stood up to the mass of humming, hooded figures. (They all had candles in their hands by the way) Arya and Nasuada did the same.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," CP addressed to the crowd. "It seems we have narrowed down who the creator is to only a few suspects. With Vice's help we will be able to rid the world of the Mary Sues once and for all, we will rise and attack any one who will, or ever has brought a Mary Sue into the world!"
Sensation in the room!
Behind him, Angela leaned over to Nasuada and whispered, "Wouldn't CP have to attack himself then for bringing…" She pointed to Arya, "Her into the world?"
They both giggled.
CP sat down beside them and said, "What?"
Nasuada leaned over to CP and said, "I have looked up to see where the unoriginal jokes are coming from, if my hypothesis is correct, that means "The Creator" is to busy with his Mary Sue to think of original jokes!"
A pause.
"And………?"
Nasuada continued. "The jokes are coming from the Digimon Encyclopedia, a site which has almost 40 humor fanfics on it!"
Angela cut Nasuada off by saying. "Yes, DaAlCh did say that he would never create a Mary Sue, but what about a spoof one, do you think that it is possible he got some of his spoof-sue jokes FROM that website?"
CP nodded, "It's entirely possible."
Arya nodded too and said, "Whoever the creator is, one thing for sure, we are closing in."
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The meeting adjourned, and all the cloaked figures left the room. We focus in on one cloaked figure in particular, who walks a bit away from the rest of the figures. The hooded figure turns a corner, while all the others continue on walking straight ahead. As we near the figure she lifts her hood, and reveals her self as the great and terrible Mary Sue!
She obviously was frightened, seeing as she had just witnessed a meeting where the final solution was to eradicate all of the Mary Sue's and there creators. She had to contact her creator, or else both of them were doomed.
Using the power of the ancient language, she opened a portal between the two worlds so she could talk to her father. She had to bring him the news, but little did she know, he already knew everything.
"Father…" she uttered at the door between the worlds, her eyes reflecting all the light that came from the portal.
"My dear, you have brought me with news." Said the creator in a deep voice that sort of sounded like James Earl Jones.
"How did you-"
"I know many things young one, fear not, I already know what they plan to do…. Fear not, I have it all under control…" Said the creator in his pseudo-deep voice.
"What should I do?"
"I will be busy in a moment, so you will have to excuse me soon, but I am going to be contacted by a young man named Eragon very soon, he is meddling in my affairs. You must distract him, so that my path to victory will be clear. Do you under stand daughter?"
"Yes father, I understand completely." She said looking down, you could almost physically feel all the outpouring of emotion radiating from her as she closed the portal. She had a lot of work to do, but she did not know how to do it. No matter, she thought as she walked in the direction of the other hooded figures, my superior skills will aide me in distracting this 'Eragon.'
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On the other end of the portal, The Creator had turned off the portal from his computer, maximized the web and continued to look at the website he was looking at before she called him. There was a knock on the door.
"Enter." Said The Creator.
The door opened, and through it walked Eragon dragging along and unconscious Roran, Eragon looked at The Creator.
"Hello DaAlCh." Said Eragon.
To Be Continued…