AN: Further into the future. Enjoy! Thank you for the reviews and interest in all the randomness!
There were few moments in Rachel's life that were quiet. She'd always liked noise, the sounds of life. Traffic, people, music. Noise was comforting because silence made her feel alone, left too much space for her thoughts to run around in. That was why she talked so much. Silence between two people could be stifling in its awkwardness and she hated that feeling; it felt like she was being smothered by all the things in between herself and the other person. All the things they weren't saying and maybe should be. Often, this led to her speaking her mind – something that was not always appreciated, strangely enough. Over the years she'd learned that 'deep conversations' weren't craved, or actually wanted very much at all, by other people. It made her the weird one, the person you tried to avoid being alone with because she was always dragging them into unwanted conversations. She still liked those discussions; liked learning about other people that way. As she'd gotten older and it became apparent to her that people went out of their way to dodge her, just like they had in high school, she'd taken the time to try and find enough peace within herself to be okay with stillness.
Sure, Quinn made fun of her for it, for the yoga and the meditation she rigidly maintained, but it was worth it.
Quinn, oddly enough, was one of the few people who didn't seem to mind Rachel's need for noise. She did occasionally interrupt a 'Berry ramble', but for the most part she only smiled and listened. Actually, really, listened. If she hadn't already been madly in love with Quinn before she certainly would have fallen the first time Quinn proved that she paid attention. She'd opened her birthday present and cried, which she would admit was a dramatic reaction, because Quinn had remembered her saying how much she'd loved Cassandra Clare as a teen – and bought her every single book by the author. Every. Single. One.
Shaking her head, Rachel smiled and lowered herself onto her yoga mat, her morning meditation finished. It was time to jump back into the noise of a new day.
"Mommy?"
Right on cue, she thought and twisted to see one of her daughters peering at her through a curtain of dark hair.
Having identical twins had made life interesting. They'd been damn near impossible to tell apart when they were infants. Fortunately, their personalities had become different enough so she no longer had to guess. For instance, she knew the girl before her was Elizabeth, not Olivia, because of the way she was standing and the way she'd announced her presence. Eliza was the shy one, always hiding, ever fragile, quietly emotional and so soft spoken.
Olivia was much louder and far more brazen. Their rockstar daughter.
"Good morning, baby. What are you doing up?"
Eliza didn't answer, just stared at her with big, watery, brown eyes.
Rachel sat up with a frown and stretched her arms out towards Eliza who immediately toddled over and crawled into her lap. "Is Livvy up too?"
"No."
That wasn't that surprising, they both usually slept like the dead. "Well then I guess she's going to miss out on helping me make breakfast for Mom," Rachel said and cuddled her closer. Eliza grabbed handfuls of t-shirt and hid her face against her shoulder. "We've got company coming this morning to see Mom and the baby. Uncle Ryan will be here with Aunt Allison, and our friend Santana. Do you remember Santana?"
"No," Eliza said, clinging tighter when Rachel stood up to head for the kitchen. "The baby's coming soon?"
"We certainly hope so," Rachel replied and carefully set her down on the kitchen counter. "Sit still okay? You know how your Mom gets when I let you girls sit on the counters."
"Why?"
"She thinks you'll jump off or fall. If you'll keep it a secret you can sit there and help me make muffins for breakfast." Stretching up on her toes Rachel pried open the cabinet she needed to get her ingredients out of. "Want to learn how to make Mom's favorite pumpkin muffins?"
"Yes!" Finally, a smile graced Eliza's face. She clapped her hands together and eagerly accepted the things handed to her.
Checking to make sure she had everything, Rachel surrounded Eliza in a perimeter of ingredients then grinned down at her mini-me. "Here's what we're going to do, little helper: First we put the ingredients together in a bowl, then you mix them while I get the pan and oven ready. When they're finished, we'll surprise Mom with them, how's that sound?"
Eliza nodded and intently watched as Rachel started to add things together in a large mixing bowl. "Mommy?"
"Eliza?"
"How come the baby has no name?"
Because your Mom won't let me name him. "We haven't picked one yet." She handed a big spoon and the bowl over to Eliza. "Stir away."
"Can Livvy and me help?"
"Livvy and I," she corrected automatically and bent to search the island for the muffin pan. "You want to help us name your brother?"
"Yeah! I think you should name him Simba!"
Biting into her bottom lip to keep from laughing, Rachel nodded and set the oven. "Simba could be a nice name. Maybe we can talk about it at dinner tonight."
"Mommy?"
"Mhm?"
"Can we have music?"
"Absolutely, but it has to be quiet. I don't want to wake your Mom up just yet. Your brother kept her up pretty late, so she needs to sleep in this morning." Rachel tickled Eliza's ribs lightly then reached around her giggling daughter to turn the iPod on. She carefully set the volume and beamed proudly as Eliza almost immediately began singing along. They worked quietly together for a few more minutes, Rachel showing her how to check the consistency of the batter before pouring it evenly into the waiting liners. "Then we pop them into the oven, but you can't just wait for the timer to go off, you have to check them every now and then and make sure they're rising properly."
"Rising?"
"Yes, they start out mushy but when they get hot they start to turn fluffy. You have to make sure they're cooked completely but not burnt." Rachel picked her up and placed her on the floor so she could see into the window on the over door. "See? They're still gooey right now but pretty soon they're going to look like muffins instead of goo. We're going to check them with a toothpick to see when they're done cooking."
Eliza wrapped her arms around Rachel's leg and stayed that way while Rachel cleaned up the kitchen, both continuing to sing along with the Disney playlist. Rachel continuously checked on both the muffins and Eliza as she waited. As a baby Olivia had been more expressive than Eliza. They could always tell exactly how she was feeling because it was written all over her face. Olivia was the dramatic one, and Quinn often teased that she'd picked up more of Rachel's personality.
The first time she stomped her foot in the midst of a tantrum, Quinn's smug smile said it all.
Rachel worried about Eliza though, she was so emotional but she'd started to keep it firmly locked inside; rarely expressing it to anyone other than her twin. She was glad that they had each other, but it left her feeling disconnected from them.
Her thoughts were piling on top of one another, and the desire to say something wouldn't be ignored. She untangled herself from Eliza and knelt down so they were face to face. "Hey."
Immediately, Eliza retreated, tucking her chin down to her chest and looking anywhere but at Rachel. It was so reminiscent of Quinn that she had to wonder if God had somehow gifted them with a child that was truly a part of both of them. They were nearly exact replicas of her; they had her mouth, her eyes, her coloring. Not her nose though, or her ears, and she was certain they would both be taller than her, but that was it as far as visible differences.
Somehow, somehow Eliza had developed Quinn's personality and it nearly broke Rachel's heart to see it. Because all she could think about was Quinn's home life and imagined it happening to Eliza. It made her wonder anew how anyone could ever do anything to harm a child. Especially one as special as Eliza or as special as young Quinn had to have been.
"I love you, you know that?"
She'd been hoping for a verbal response, but Eliza only tucked in closer to herself and nodded.
"Eliza, can you look at me?"
Dark eyes lifted up from where they'd been staring at her bare toes and locked on her own. It was like looking into a mirror. Her lower lip trembled and Rachel's heart shattered all over again. "I wet the bed." She started to cry and turned to run but Rachel caught her easily and dragged her back into her arms. She struggled at first, then limply sagged into the embrace and pressed her face against Rachel's neck. "I – don' – want – you – to – be – mad!"
"I'm not mad, baby," Rachel said and tried to shush her. She rubbed her back and rocked her until the hiccuping sobs trailed off into sniffles. Her neck was wet, slick with tears, she could feel strands of her hair sticking to it. The old Rachel Berry would have been grossed out, though she'd never have said so, and wiped it off at the first opportunity. She wondered if it was the years or being a mother that had changed her, because instead of a pressing need to wash her neck, all she felt was a powerful urge to hold onto Eliza and never, ever let her go. In that moment she would have done anything in the world to make it better. Anything. She'd light the damn sheets on fire if she had to.
"I'm sorry," Eliza whimpered.
Reluctantly, Rachel pulled away and sat back on her heels so she could wipe teary eyes and brush hair back from sticky, red cheeks. "No, my Elza. It's just an accident and accidents happen. I promise I'm not mad at all."
"I'm not a bad girl?"
She shook her head and smiled reassuringly. "Not at all. Let's get these muffins out so they can cool and we'll go put your sheets in the wash. They'll be as good as new and nobody will ever know except me and you."
"You won't tell Mom?"
"No, it's our secret." She winked, kissed her on the forehead, and stood up to remove the muffins from the oven. Eliza molded herself back to her leg and refused to let go until Rachel picked her up and carried her out of the kitchen towards the twins shared bedroom.
"We'll be super quiet so Livvy doesn't wake up," she whispered conspiratorially.
Wide eyed, Eliza nodded and held her finger to her lips.
They crept into the room in over-exaggerated and unnecessarily hunched over positions, but Rachel loved the concentrated furrow of Eliza's forehead and the way she kept checking to make sure Olivia was still sleeping. Though it fell away as soon as she caught sight of her bed. Her face crumbled and Rachel quickly pulled her into another hug. "It's okay."
She pulled the sheets off the twin-size bed, wadded them up, and pulled the quilt over the bare mattress to mask the absence of the butter yellow sheets. "I won't tell anyone," she promised.
"Okay, Mommy."
Rachel gestured towards the bedroom door with a slight tilt of her head, but didn't follow Eliza out of the room at first. She walked over to Olivia's 'side' of the room and bent to place a soft kiss on her head.
"Can I take Mom a muffin?" Eliza asked after the sheets had been dumped into the washer.
"Let's take her some milk too, huh?"
"Yeah!"
"It's only missing one more thing," Rachel said. She caught Eliza's hand in hers and headed out into the backyard. "Pick a flower," she said and waved her free hand towards her tulips.
Eliza's eyes about bugged out of her head. She and Olivia had been told, in no uncertain terms, to not mess with Mommy's flowers. Quinn had toiled and slaved and in general worked her ass off planting flowers in their backyard when they first moved into the house. Rachel had protested, not because she didn't love the idea or the fact that Quinn was trying to do something nice for her, but because it had worn Quinn out... and they were both terrified of bees.
"Won't Mom be mad?"
"We'll blame me, alright?"
"You're going to get in trouble," she informed her but pulled up a flower a second later.
"I'm always in trouble," Rachel said and laughed lightly. "Your brother makes Mom moody, don't tell her I said that though. Then I really will be in big trouble."
"I won't!"
"Good. Let's go wake her up then, shall we?"
"Carry me?"
Never able to deny her anything when asked with such an adorable pout, Rachel scooped her up and balanced her on a hip. They retrieved the muffin and milk and began the most dangerous part of their breakfast mission.
Waking Quinn had become something just shy of 'perilous'. The closer she got to her due date the more Rachel feared eventual bodily harm. Well, not really, she was ever the drama queen, but Quinn was seriously scary first thing in the morning.
Setting Eliza down on her feet once inside the spacious master bedroom, Rachel stared warily at the lump of white comforter that was camouflaging the slumbering grizzly bear she called her wife. Strands of blonde hair sprouted from the top of the mass, and that's all she could really see of Quinn.
"I'll go first," she whispered.
"Be careful."
Rachel snuck up on the bed and decided that the safest way to wake Quinn would be from her own side of the bed. She crawled up the mattress and laid down slowly, trying not to cause the bed to dip too much. "Quinn?"
"Mhhhrg."
Hesitantly, she slipped her hand along the top of the comforter cocoon and wiggled in closer. The blanket came down far enough for her to see two bleary hazel-green eyes glaring at her. She swallowed hard and smiled as sweetly as she could possibly manage. Never tickle sleeping dragons indeed. "Hey, baby. Eliza and I made you breakfast. Your favorite! Pumpkin muffins!"
Those eyes narrowed briefly, scrutinizing her. Then the blanket slid further, revealing a nose and then a frowning mouth. "What time is it?"
"Later than you're expecting but earlier than you'd like?"
A pale eyebrow arched and Rachel's life flashed before her eyes.
Then - a miracle.
Quinn smiled.
Not a full smile with teeth, but not just the upward quirk of a corner of her mouth either. A closed, sleepy but pleased smile. "I see no muffins; all I see is you."
"All I ever see is you," Rachel said.
"Cheesy lady," Quinn snickered and the blanket fell away completely as, with some effort, she sat up. "Come here you two."
Eliza scrambled forward, muffin and milk outstretched before her like tribute one might offer to a particularly frightening deity in place of human sacrifice. It reminded Rachel of her own gift. She propped her head up on her hand and delicately placed the tulip (roots still attached) in Quinn's lap.
The arched eyebrow returned as Quinn studied the flower in her lap. She turned to regard Rachel, shook her head, and twitched her finger in a 'come hither' motion.
Rachel pressed both palms down into the soft mattress and brought her mouth into range for her 'Good morning weirdo, I love you, you're cute even if you're a little odd' kiss. It lasted longer than she'd been expecting; they didn't separate until Eliza's giggle broke the spell.
"Ew," Eliza said.
"Ew?" Quinn repeated, turned and made 'gimme' hands at her.
She handed the breakfast to Quinn, and frowned when the items were placed on the nightstand instead of being hastily consumed.
Quinn patted the space next to her and fondly watched Eliza scale the side. "Ew, huh? Could you stay in this phase of life forever? Cooties and cartoons and butterflies and being adorable?" She snuggled her as best she could with the baby bump and slouched back against the pillows.
Taking advantage of the now perfectly placed shoulder, Rachel sighed and let her head drop to rest there. She nuzzled happily against the soft cotton of Quinn's shirt and silently prayed for the same thing Quinn had asked. She so wished they could stay this way forever.
Well, maybe after the baby was born.
"Where's Liv?"
"Still sawing logs."
"We should wake her up. It's not a true Fabray family cuddle when we're minus one."
"True. I'll go get her in a minute. Company will probably be here in a couple of hours, so I thought I'd let her sleep the grumpies out."
"How come this one's awake?" Quinn poked Eliza's nose as she asked and grinned when she scrunched her face up - just like Rachel.
"I think she heard me going downstairs. My ninja skills failed me and I tripped over the cat."
"That would do it."
Rachel nodded and winked at Eliza. "I have an idea, how about we get Livvy up and we eat our delicious vegan muffins at the table before our guests show up?"
"I like it. Simple, and easy to remember," Quinn said and rubbed at her stomach with a faint grimace.
"Still kicking away?"
Reaching down, Quinn grasped Rachel's hand and set it against her stomach. "I think he's trying to tell me something in Morse code."
"Can I feel?" Eliza asked. Quinn took her hand and slid it under Rachel's, then placed her palm back on top of her wife's.
"I hope he's born soon."
Quinn groaned. "Me too, baby, me too."
TBC...