A/N - For those of you who have received a story update or alert for this chapter - I was not happy with the original version I wrote. I had written it to try and give a frantic effect but unfortunately it fell short. It doesn't change anything to the rest of the story, but I feel this better represents Bella's troubles and Carlisle's emotions of seeing her again. Thanks to all who have taken the time to read my story!

Much love to LolaRose for her unwavering support and changedbyEdward for her fabulous beta skills and unending patience!!!

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. I am just borrowing :)

(Bella's POV)

Twilight. I used to long for the shadows of the night, as that was the time I cherished the most with him. Now, even though I'm trapped in this stark, white room, my entire existence has succumbed to darkness, but not how I had wished for it to happen. Instead, I am alone, living through a nightmare that seems to have no beginning and no end.

No matter which way I turn, the trees are surrounding me, smothering me, threatening to swallow me whole. I hear them taunting me, whispering echoes of the words he spoke the day that my world became this nightmare. He's never coming back.

Abandoned. An empty shell of the girl that fell in love with an angel.

Another whisper – "You're not good for me, Bella."

My heart breaks yet again because I know those words were true. I was never good enough for him and how I could have fooled myself into believing that he could love me forever was an irrational fantasy. One that I will now live with for the rest of my existence.

"Your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

That's where he was wrong. I may forget, but I will never heal. He has ripped out and destroyed the very thing he swore he would never take. His greatest fear was for my soul, yet he held it with such little regard that day in the forest. He stole it from me when he left me that day, leaving me with nothing.

Did he ever really care for me? Was it all a dream? Why did he have to take everything away from me?

He has left me with nothing except this nightmare and the melody that lingers in my mind. But even that grows fainter with each passing moment and I fear that once it's gone, any memory that I can cling to will be lost as well. I can not allow myself to forget, as my lullaby is the only thing that allows me to hold onto what might have been.

What might have been. A family in a sense. Another thing ripped away from me. Alice – the best friend I had always longed for – gone. Without even a goodbye. Carlisle and Esme – how had they become so dear to me in such a short time? The parents I had never really had. I mourn the loss of something I never really had. It was all a fantasy, a game to amuse. He told me that his kind was easily distracted. No wonder he left and took everything with him. I wasn't even good enough to offer him a proper distraction.

I fear the haunting truth of everything he said that day will be the ball and chain that will lock me in this nightmare for the rest of my days.

"It will be as if I never existed." Even though those words would release me from this prison, I am relieved they were the one lie he told me. I would rather live this nightmare than forget what might have been.

(Carlisle's POV)

I arrived at the hospital shortly after dawn, eager yet afraid of what I would find. As I made my way down the fluorescent-lit hallway, I cringed at how sterile and barren the building was. While it's no secret that police officers are generally grossly underpaid, I could not comprehend how Charlie could've left his daughter in such a horrid place.

A brief meeting with the hospital administrator, Dr. Freeman, left me angered and repulsed. A review of Bella's file revealed very little except that although they had not used physical restraints, they had kept her sedated, basically comatose, to stop her from dreaming. Obviously the nightmares were a huge part of the problem and needed to be studied, rather than buried under a drug-induced haze. No wonder they considered her unresponsive.

There is no doubt in my mind that the administrator sensed my frustration as she seemed more than happy to end our meeting so I could see Bella right away. The only bright spot of the morning had been when she had paged a nurse to escort me to Bella's room and it ended up being someone I had worked with fairly closely in Forks.

I thanked the administrator for her time and the generosity of being given an office to use during my stay, and then quickly followed Jennie out to the hallway. She looked much the same as the last time I had seen her - platinum blond hair pulled back into a slight bun and sparkling blue eyes. Of the very few humans that I had allowed myself to fraternize with at the Forks hospital, she was one of my favorites. Esme had teased me relentlessly when she met her, believing that I was living out some doctor/nurse fantasy, although she knew deep down that she had nothing to be concerned about. Jennie was just one of those people that I could depend on during an emergency and she was a very positive influence at the hospital. I was grateful that she was here – it would make the hospital feel a little less depressing.

Jennie cleared her throat and looked over at me as we walked down the hall towards Bella's room. "I'm not sure what Dr. Freeman told you, Dr. C., but I have to warn you that this will break your heart." She turned down another hallway and I continued to follow.

"Has she spoken at all, Jennie?"

"No, not to me. Some of the night staff have mentioned that she talks in her sleep quite often, but that it's jumbled. I have heard her crying, but when I've looked in she is just lying there, wrapped around herself like she's trying to disappear. It is heartbreaking – Chief Swan doesn't even come as often to see her anymore. I don't think he is able to cope."

Frustration coursed through my being. No wonder Bella was in the state she was in. How could she not believe that everyone had deserted her- even her own father! We came to a stop outside of a metal door with a tiny window. I looked in, but couldn't see her. I thanked Jennie as she handed me a copy of the key card to Bella's room before heading off on her rounds. I stood for a moment, trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever I was about to find, and then slowly let myself into the room.

The space was small and brightly lit, sparse in furniture other than a table with some untouched books, and a bed. I glanced at the book covers and saw that Charlie had brought all of her favourites, but it was obvious from the fine coating of dust on the covers that they had given her little comfort. I raised my eyes to the bed and a wave of horror washed over me as I stared at the broken doll in front of me. She sat with her back to the door in a position I had seen her take so many times when she was at our home. Her knees were tucked up under chin and her arms folded around them, as if she was trying to hold her body together. I noticed she was gently rocking herself, as if she were listening to some unheard melody.

"Bella." I softly spoke to her, not moving at all. She didn't respond, so I stepped a little closer. Her once vibrant mahogany hair fell lifelessly down her back and I could just see a hint of alabaster skin – she had always been pale, but was now morbidly so. If I had not been able to smell the light aroma of freesia in the room, I might have believed that she had already become one of us. There was other obvious proof that she was still amongst the living, of course. I could hear her heart beating softly in her chest, but what bothered me was there had been no reaction at all to the sound of her name.

"Bella, it's me, Carlisle. Do you know who I am?" I waited, hoping for a response, but nothing seemed to change. I sat for what seemed like hours, watching her rock, unsure how to approach her as I didn't want to alarm her, but I wanted her to know that I was there to help.

I stood slowly and walked towards the bed, facing her. Her face was buried against her knees and she was still rocking to her own melody. I knew that she sensed my presence, but she still wouldn't look at me. I heard her beating heart quicken and spoke again softly, "Bella, can you hear me?"

I stepped back but only for a moment as she screamed in terror. I glanced quickly to the door, but no one came to see what was happening. My opinion of the facility continued to decline – it was obvious that the patients were not the highest priority.

Not knowing what else to do, I pulled the child to me and nestled her on my lap, gently rocking her to the same unheard melody. I would hold her forever if I had to, but I knew that there was no way I was going to leave her in this condition. Unsure if she could even hear me, I began to talk, softly so as not to cause her stress. I begged her to come back to us and told her how sorry we were for everything that had transpired. I told her how much we loved her, how much she had been missed and how we needed her in our lives. I talked about seeing Charlie and how much he missed his little girl.

I had no idea how long I sat holding her in my arms, telling her these things. I felt her frail body relax and curl into me, and knew that she had fallen asleep. In hopes of not disturbing her, I rose slowly and gently placed her on the bed. She moaned in her slumber, but did not awaken. Convinced that she would be out for a bit, I left her and headed for the little office they had provided for me.

A quick look at the clock informed me that Esme was already on her flight, so I knew there was no chance of reaching her. She had secured an estate rental outside of Seattle for us, close enough to the hospital, but far enough out that we would safely be able to hunt. I hoped that it would not be too long before we could move to a more permanent residence, although I was still unconvinced that a return to our Forks home was the best option.

I checked my e-mail and found a new message waiting from Rosalie and Emmett. They were still in South America, but making preparations to head back to Europe. Edward's trail had gone cold and it was obvious to all concerned that he did not want to be found. Their plans included stops in Italy and France, and then they hoped to return to us. As much as I missed them, I knew it was better that they not return immediately. If Bella were going to come back to us at all, it would be best not to rush her into dealing with a whole lot of personalities, especially Rosalie's.

Bella. My thoughts returned to her and I opened her file to review what, if anything, had been done to improve her situation. Her reaction to me holding her had given me a glimmer of hope that I would be able to reach her, but I didn't want to put too much into that thought yet.

Time passed quickly and I knew that dinner had most likely been served to the patients. I made my way back down to her room and knocked lightly before entering. Her food sat untouched, her back turned to the door.

I sensed she was awake and stopped as I heard the bed move slightly. She was rocking again, although it did not seem as panicked as earlier and that is when I heard it. Faint, almost non-existent, but I could hear her humming. I listened carefully for a moment and my stilled heart broke into a million pieces for her as I realized it was the melody that Edward had written for her. Her lullaby.

Not wanting to agitate her, I moved without a sound to perch on the end of the bed. The humming never stopped, but her heartbeat quickened its pace. I sat waiting, hoping she would turn her face to me but she didn't move.

"Bella, can you hear me?" I spoke softly, not wanting to startle her. This time her heartbeat increased noticeably. "Bella, it's Carlisle. Do you know who I am?" The humming stopped.

She turned slowly to face me, her eyes still closed. Her face, partially hidden by her hair, was even paler than I previously thought and her cheeks were sunken hollows - a ghost of her former self "Bella, open your eyes and look at me." I could feel the bed trembling beneath her. She was terrified, but on the edge of making a breakthrough. "Bella." Her eyes opened, fluttering against the harsh light of the room, but fought to focus. It was at that moment that I heard her whisper my name.

(Bella's POV)

There are more voices whispering to me now. I fear that the taunting of the trees has finally driven me mad, yet I still have no peace. Memories continue to haunt me; visions of people I need to forget if I ever hope to regain my sanity. But the thought of forgetting tears another hole in my body and I feel myself curling inside, trying to ease the pain these mental wounds have caused.

My melody still lingers and I strain to hear it, knowing that if I let it go there will be no more pain, but also realizing I will then feel nothing at all. I want; no I need to feel something. I need to hold on so I don't forget. I can never forget.

I feel rested. And the melody is clear in my head again. I know that he is not here with me, but he has not completely deserted me. I feel the fog around me lifting and I am able to breathe again, but this, too, terrifies me. What if, after all this time, it is false hope? What if I open myself up again only to have the nightmares become my reality?

I'm not alone. I sense his presence in the room. He says my name, but I know it isn't my Edward. I realize it will most likely never be my Edward again, but I also know I can't continue on this path because he is not coming back for me. It is time to make a choice.

I will not be a victim any longer. I know that I have the strength to continue. The melody is loud and clear in my mind and I know as long as it plays, I will not forget. He may have taken everything from me, but he can not take that. I'll find him and I will prove him wrong. My mind is not a sieve. I will never forget, but can I forgive?

I open my eyes slowly; the bright lights are disorienting and temporarily blind me. The voice is still calling to me and I try to focus. I can see him sitting on the edge of the bed, reaching out to me, calling my name.

The haze lifts. The kindest pair of eyes that I had ever known are gazing at me in fear. And I realize I am not alone. They have come back for me. I call his name. My throat is dry and my voice is strained, but I need him to hear me. "Carlisle"

I probably should have warned him before barrelling into his arms, but I know he is the last person I need to worry about as far as bloodlust is concerned. He looks relieved and, if at all possible, tired. I glance around the room and note that we are alone.

I ask why he has come; my voice is still barely a whisper.

"Where else would I be?" he responds. My hands are in his and for once he appears to be at a loss for words. All too soon he tells me he must leave and my body responds, the invisible wounds beginning to gape open and swallow me whole. Sensing my fear, Carlisle pulls me into a hug, promising to return in the morning with Esme. I nodded into his chest and held his final words close to my being, long after he left me, praying that I had heard him correctly. "We will not leave you again."

End of Chapter - Reviews are like my own brand of heroin - so please, please review!!