None of the characters belong to me, they belong to the wonderful J.K Rowling. Review please :)

Stupid bloody cat.

"I'm going out to get some groceries. I'll be back soon. You boys take care of yourselves okay? And Ronald? Don't pull poor Crookshanks' tail anymore. He doesn't like it." She said before hugging her precious darling and giving me a peck on the lips. "Bye!" She said and she was out the door.

I don't get why she won't just apparate or Floo there. She never makes any sense. Oh well. Like owner like cat.

"So. It's just you and me. Home. Alone. A-L-O-N-E. Fantastic. I hate you. Just saying." I said to a very bored looking Crookshanks. I tried entertaining him. Doing things like staring at him, trying to make him stare at the sofa, trying to make him stare at me. Well, that worked he was already doing that. "Good boy? Don't stare at me like that it's not like I know what to do with you!"(glare)"Well sorry I don't like you! Why am I even talking to you?" I yelled slouching into the comfy sofa that Hermione bought. I tried making shapes out of the ceiling. Then I tried the wall. Then I tried the floor. As a last resort I tried Crookshanks fur. "I'm still bored what about you?"(stare)"Err, okay. I wonder what time Hermione'll get home. I hope she makes something for dinner. I hope it's chicken. I love chicken. Chicken, chicken,chicken.I know! Lets play the 'I'm really bored and going to talk to myself' game! Ha! I'm winning!" I stuck out my tongue at him. " You can't possibly win cause you can't talk. Hah."

What have I become? I'm talking to myself AND I'm talking to an inanimate sleeping bunch of fur. I am bored. Oh well. I'll try talking to myself mentally then. Hi Ron! Oh, hello there Ron! I didn't see you there! Oh what are you doing here? Oh, me? I'm just lying down on this comfy couch of mine waiting for Hermione to come home! Wow, what a coincidence! Me too! You don't say? I have an idea. Why not we wait together? That sounds like a good idea.

"Oh Merlin, this sucks."I said aloud. I tried memorising the patterns on the ceiling. Suddenly Crookshanks started yowling and running all over, scratching the sofa, rolling on the floor and I immediately thought "Merlin's pants he's gone mad! Psh, like he wasn't already." Then he did the unthinkable. He started rubbing against my leg and purring. PURRING.

Holy hell.