Geek Love Chapter 3: In Which Edward is Cantaloupey

I spent the night trying to tell myself I was fine—and I was fine—I just had a hobgoblin living in my abdominal cavity. I felt him squeeze an internal organ like he was testing a cantaloupe. Otherwise I was just freakin' peachy. Or cantaloupey.

Tossing and turning in bed that night I decided there was nothing left to do. There were two—possibly three—very good reasons Bella wasn't mine. She didn't want to be mine; she didn't want to date anyone she worked with; and she didn't want to be mine. Did I say that already? Well, that's OK, it's probably worth repeating to get it through my goddamn thick skull.

Bella and I had worked together for eighteen months and one day, or so. I had been lusting after her for seventeen months and twenty eight days, approximately. I had been crushing on her for seventeen months and twelve days, give or take.

It's OK, you can say it. I'm a pussy. I know it. Say it again if it makes you feel better. It helps me tons and tons.

Did I really just roll my eyes at my own internal monologue?

Part of what made me so mad about Mike making a move on Bella today, other than his general douchitude, was that he had the balls to do it and I didn't. On the other hand, I like to think that she is so incredibly important to me that the power of her potential rejection is what's holding me back. For Mike, he probably couldn't give a rat's ass either way.

Or at least, that's what I told myself. But it didn't really matter much, if in the end I still didn't have her.

Sleep eluded me, so another round of tossing and turning ensued. Normally I would get my Jerkins on, imagining Bella in all manner of unseemly positions. After today's self-revelations I'm thinking I should be looking for my clitoris instead. Truth be told, I was too pissed at me to even touch myself.

Finally, at approximately 2:43 a.m., I fell asleep.

At rooster-ass o'clock, Clocky, my robotic alarm went off, leaping off my night stand, rolling through the apartment dinging like a fucking arcade game. Sweet love of sleep, why did I ever buy that thing??

After cleaning, grooming, and pop-tarting, I made it to the bus stop just in time. I hadn't even made it to my desk when I heard the annoying sound of Newton calling out to me.

"You'll be at the launch party today, right Cullen?"

Fuck! The launch party for a site I had nothing to do with was tonight. A company-wide email had gone out "requesting" our attendance. In other words, you'd better damn well be there.

"Um…yeah, I'll be there…it's mandatory, right?"

"Yeah, but still, it's gonna be a blast!"

I shuddered. I may be a geek, but this guy was a dork. A crush-stealing twatwad, placed before me to fuck with my day. OK, he hadn't exactly "stolen" her, but he was still a twatwad.

"Yes Mike, I'll be there. I'm sure it will be a…blast."

Sitting down at my desk a few seconds later, I was restarting my computer when a soft thunk to my left got my attention. I looked down to see a triple grande light-chocolate no-whip extra-hot mocha from Café Divinia sitting on my desk. Bella stood beside it, smiling a slightly sleepy smile at me. She was wearing a pink t-shirt with "STFU" printed across the front in big black letters.

"Happy Friday. Thought you could use the good stuff this morning. You look like you got about as much sleep as I did." She raised an eyebrow suggestively, smirking at me. "Another hot iDate? Ahhh...there's nothing like giving it hard to your virtual girlfriend, to make those bags under your eyes."

"At least I give it hard to something. You know, I was gonna give you a sex toy for your birthday, but then I realized I'd probably need to get you a dust buster first, clean that thing out!"

She punched my shoulder, grinning. I grinned back hiding the pain shooting down my arm. God I really was a pussy! Nodding in the direction of the coffee, I smiled beatifically at Bella.

"You, Miss Swan, rock my world."

Her smile broadened for a moment, then turned down a little, as she began to chew her lip thoughtfully.

"So…um…are you going today? After work, I mean?"

"To the launch party?"

She snorted. "No dumbass, to the strip club. I totally thought we could share a lap dance and then hire an escort to have a three-way with us."

I choked on my coffee, grabbing at a napkin before she could see it coming out my nose.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yes, the launch party. Are you going?"

"Of course! I dutifully attend all mandatory corporate events. Go team!" I dimpled at her.

She rolled her eyes again, then paused for a moment. "So…I'll see you there then?"

Hadn't I just said I was going? "Yeah...?"

She turned and left, seeming a little less happy than when she came in.

"Hey, Bella?"

Turning, her eyes lighting up just a little when she did. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for the coffee."

She smiled -- a little tightly -- and walked out in the direction of her cube. What the hell? Was it my imagination, or was she peeved? I had the distinct feeling one, or both of us, had just shown stellar social geektardation. The fact that I didn't know meant it was most likely me.

~oOo~

Ten hours and twenty-one minutes later found me in hell. Absolute hell. Biz dev people surrounded me, talking about how to leverage the project we were launching to sell more interactive work to our existing print clients. My VP was already drunk, standing with his arm around my shoulders, dangerously waving a shot of tequila around as he told me -- in no uncertain terms -- how the project's success had everything to do with my excellent work. I didn't have the heart to tell him he either had me confused with someone else, or he didn't have a fucking clue what I did for the company. Eventually he offered me the half-spilled shot in his hand. I took it without hesitation.

The launch party was at a billiard hall slash games arcade slash bar -- a popular spot with hip young professional douchebags. It was a Friday night, so the place was pretty full. Another round of shots came by. VP had just coaxed me into doing another, when I felt something -- or someone -- grip my hair, fisting it tightly.

"Edwrd, yu'll play air hockey wth me? Why's your hair alws so messy, anyway? S'cute y'know. Sortawannalickit."

VP removed his arm from my shoulder, inexplicably choosing now to become uncomfortable with our contact. Bella's hand was still gripping my hair when I turned, causing it to wrench painfully. When I saw her, I had to laugh out loud though. Shot-glass in hand, three-point-five sheets to the wind, she was glassy-eyed, bright-cheeked, and cute as a goddamn cherry pie.

"What the hell happened to you?"

She frowned, concentrating on her answer. "Mike's tryin...he's bein'..." she sighed exasperatedly, then braved on, "Iss fuckin' skeezy, that's it is. Tryin'a get me drunk." She wagged a finger at me. "But I foiled his plot. Reverse psychology, aswhat I did."

I felt something dark, angry, and very dramatic inside.

"Mike's been buying you drinks? Trying to get you drunk?"

"Aswhat I said, isnnit? But don't you worry Eddie-poo," she tapped my nose several times -- mostly getting my eye, "I gave 'im teh slip."

"What reverse psychology, Bella?"

"Ah..." her eyes opened wide, and she tapped the side of her own nose, raising her eyebrows knowingly, "...he dinnt expect me to drink, you see. Take the drink, tells'im I don't wanna do the fucking."

"You don't wanna do the fucking?" I was forcing myself not to smile. This was Bella at her finest, weirdest, most illogical -- or "alternate-logical" as she liked to say. To her, accepting a drink from someone who wanted to fuck her was using "reverse psychology", and somehow let them know she wasn't interested.

"No, I donwanna do teh fucking!" she called out, unintentionally loudly.

I put a hand over her mouth, laughing out a "shhh..." at the same time.

Standing -- or rather, swaying -- in front of me she reached up, wrapping both arms around my neck.

Oh hell. Time for the dead kittens again.

She swayed again, and I put my hands on her hips to steady her.

Fuck. I needed more than dead kittens. Plane crash. Grandma. Grandma and Mom--

"Edward?" her eyes blinked up at me owlishly.

Breathing deeply, trying desperately to keep my erotinaughty thoughts at bay, I responded, "Yes, Bella?"

"Play with me."

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