Disclaimer: Me no own Eva. Eva own me.
A/N: This time it's Shinji, a few days before Leliel.
Bravery (or Cowardice)
Bravery is a funny thing. The kids at school thought I was brave when they found out I was a Pilot. (Well, except Touji.)
But the truth is, I'm always running away. I'm not brave at all.
Misato-san is brave. She climbed into the Jet Alone without a second thought, even though it could have exploded and killed everyone. (All I could do was hold it still.)
Ayanami is brave. She protected me from the Fifth Angel's beam, even after her shield melted away completely. (All I could do was wait and fire and hope she was okay.)
Asuka is brave. She went into the volcano to capture the Eighth, and nearly sacrificed herself by using her own lifeline to make sure the Angel was destroyed. (I was so afraid of losing her.)
When people tell me I'm brave, or that I've done something courageous, it feels wrong. Everything I do is out of fear.
Fear of my Father. (I mustn't run away.)
Fear of hurting others. (I mustn't run away.)
Fear of pain. (I mustn't run away.)
Fear of myself.
Even when I stand my ground, I'm running away from something.
Whether I stay and fight or try to escape, it's not because I'm brave.
It's because I'm afraid.
As always, please leave a review and tell me what you liked or didn't like.