"Alright -- we some choices here," Brooke said, opening the bag she had brought with her.

"We have Chunky Monkey, Fudge Brownie or Cherry Garcia for the ice cream choices and "I Am Legend," "The Mist" or "Enchanted" for our movie choices."

"How about Fudge Brownie for me and "Enchanted" to watch first," I replied.

"Alright," Brooke said, handing me the tub of ice cream and walking over to set up the DVD.

It was great to have company -- It would have made things even more difficult to sit here alone tonight. I needed the moral support and the encouragement that Brooke had given after I explained Nathan's invitation.
"That guy -- I can't even begin to understand him," Brooke had said, shaking her head. So that's great, at least I wasn't the only one completely flabbergasted by the whole thing.

We settled in, eating our ice cream and watched the movie. Once the movie was over, we decided to take a break before our second selection.

Brooke went to the bathroom while I took the cartons into the kitchen to clean up. It was nearly 11 by now and even though I had an early class, I wasn't about to send Brooke home until I had to -- to be alone right now would be my downfall.

I was approaching this the way I approach any project or task - with motivation and determination. I would not be weak to Nathan anymore, I just wouldn't....I could be a lot of stronger than I had been and at this point, it is a matter of self preservation.

I thought I faintly heard the doorbell when I was running the garbage disposal but wasn't sure until I walked back into the living room where a befuddled Brooke stood at the door with Nathan right beside her.

~~~

"Hi," Nathan gave me a small smile as I continued into the living room.

"Hi," I replied.

Brooke still stood in place, really not sure what to say or do.

"You missed a great dinner, so I thought I'd bring some to you," Nathan said presenting a bag he'd been holding. Brooke's mouth gaped open unintentionally, looking from Nathan to me.

"Uh...thanks," I replied, taking the bag.

"I'm -- going to get some more, pepsi, from the kitchen," Brooke said, trying to make a hasty exit. Brooke had definitely matured over the years. In high school, she would have taken the food out of Nathan's hands and shoved him out the door. This time, she really was stepping back and away to let me deal with the situation – and I couldn't figure out whether to be happy or anxious about it.

I gave her a weak smile and silently cursed her for leaving the room to make things even more awkward.

This was the first time I had seen Nathan sober since our break up.

"Well thanks for the food," I said, trying to be curt.

"You're welcome -- I'm sorry I didn't call first," Nathan said. "I...just wanted to see you."

I don't know where it came from or how -- but suddenly, I wasn't filled with longing or sadness, I was angry....and it all came bubbling to the surface.

"Nathan - what are you doing?" I asked him suddenly.

"What? Just bringing you food."

"Yeah, but the question is why?? I mean, this whole thing that's been going on lately -- its been really confusing and complicated and its just plain wrong."

Nathan looked genuinely confused. "I never meant to force you to do something you felt was wrong...."

"Yeah, I don't really believe you were thinking about me at all," I said, on a roll now. "I think you just wanted someone there and I was the easiest target -- I was less work than to go out and pick up a stranger...and I can't do it anymore...It....it hurts too much."

Nathan's mouth dropped open, not at all sure of what to say. I couldn't tell if he was upset or just confused. He just stood there looking at me.

"Is that what you really think of me? Do you think you're just a warm body to me after everything that has happened?!" he asked, incredulously.

"What am I supposed to think?? I never hear from you unless you're tanked late at night! It's surely not a relationship anymore!" I cried.

"I mean - what do you want from me? You wanted your freedom, you wanted to break up and now you're here, trying to act like my boyfriend again," I said.

Nathan stood for a second, silent. He knew there was truth to the statement -- "I'm trying to be in your life and be your friend and I never meant for any of this to turn out the way that it did...I didn't realize it was hurting you," Nathan said.

"Well, it is hurting me and I can't be your friend so please leave," I said in a tone that was pretty harsh - perhaps even more harsh than I had intended.

Nathan sighed, not sure whether to leave or try to talk more but I didn't give him a chance to decide.

I brushed past Brooke and back into the kitchen as she was walking into the room. Nathan just looked at Brooke with weak expression.

He was waiting for her sharp reply but was only met with a silent glare.

"I'm going to go – see ya Brooke," he said, turning on his heel and walked out the door.