I took my sweet time on this chapter. It's been in the works for weeks, because I just wanted to make it really good. I hope you like it! Special thanks to DarylDixon's Lover, Crowgrl13, Alisha, SavingGrace579, crazstiz, and a Guest for your reviews, as well as the aforementioned reviewers. Your support keeps me going and makes me so happy to write. Thank you and enjoy!
Beth woke to the sound of voices outside her room. She got up and looked in the mirror. The lines on her cheek had faded a bit over night, but there was still a dull red outline on each of them. She applied as much cover-up as she could without it looking out of place and walked out, saying good morning to the little group gathered around Judith, who was trying to crawl into Carol's lap. When she gave up and started whimpering in defeat, Beth swooped in and picked her up, planting a big kiss on her rosy cheeks. She brought her into the kitchen and fed herself and Jude a hearty breakfast of oatmeal.
Merle was seated with his back to her at one of the tables with Daryl, and Tyreese was getting plates for the three of them. Beth sat down on the other side of the room, watching Merle talk quietly to Daryl. When he got up to refill his canteen, he caught her eye and looked away quickly. She saw shame, anger, guilt in that one fleeting gaze. Maybe she shouldn't have been so quick to dismiss him last night.
They spent the day doing the usual tasks, cleaning, cooking, tilling the gardens. Merle was suspiciously absent for most of the day. She was feeding their horse when she felt a hand grip her arm and pull her behind the shed. She almost yelled out when she saw that it was Merle, but she knew she could handle herself, so she kept her mouth in a straight line.
They stared at each other for a moment, Beth stern and strong, Merle worried and visibly upset. Beth broke their stare when she saw Merle's hand reach for her and flinched. He stopped. "I'm not gonna hurt you."
His hand moved again, and he touched her cheek lightly, wiping off some of the makeup. He sucked in a breath. "I-I don't know what happened yesterday."
"You were so cruel to that boy. And when you looked at me, it was like you were a totally different person from the man I talked to about childhood stories two nights ago. I thought you were getting better."
"I don't know, girl. It ain't easy t' change an old fucker like me. Been tryin'. Fer my brother."
"Well I'm not angry about this" -she gestured to her cheek- "just so you know. But you do it again?" She tried to look firm, intimidating even. "You're gonna be no match for me."
The absurdity of this little girl having the guts to stand up to a guy like him made Merle almost laugh out loud. He cracked a smile, and she looked at him angrily.
"Asshole," she muttered before walking back out to feed the animals. Merle could tell she was smiling though.
Beth settled down to dinner with Maggie, Glenn, and Hershel. Maggie immediately caught sight of her cheek and gasped.
"Beth, what happened to you?!" Beth's hand flew up to her cheek. Merle had wiped off some of the makeup earlier. She looked around nervously for a second, deciding whether she would tell them the truth or not. She knew she should; Carol had told her stories from before the apocalypse, of her and Ed. But they already didn't like Merle, hardly anyone did. And he had said himself that it was an accident.
"Oh, just slept on it wrong. Been feelin' weird all day, so I've just scratched it a little," Beth said, looking at Maggie hopefully.
"No, that looks like more than that. Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm-"
"It was Merle." Carol stood behind the young girl. They all turned to her, then to Merle who stood in the doorway eating his food.
"What?!" Maggie got up and looked from Beth to Merle. "Did you fucking touch her?"
Beth answered instead. "No, Maggie, it was an accident! He was trying to talk to a kid on the way back from shooting practice, and he turned and accidently hit me!"
"Bullshit! I'm gonna cut your other hand off, you worthless piece of shit!" Maggie pulled her gun on Merle, and he stood tall, looking down on the fiery Greene sister. The room erupted into shouts, at both sides of the argument.
"Ya best listen to little sister there." was all Merle said. He couldn't say anything more. He had hit her, he had done it on purpose. Whether he was in his right mind or not at the time wouldn't have mattered to Maggie.
"Everybody calm down!" Rick yelled from the middle of the room.
Hershel stood up. "If Beth said it was an accident, I don't see why we're even having this conversation. You folks don't believe my daughter is telling the truth?"
The room quieted down at that, but Maggie's gun was still pointed at Merle, and Glenn had an arm around her waist.
"Maggie, hun. You know shootin' him would do none a us any good right now." Hershel reasoned with his oldest daughter.
She looked back at her father and let out a breath as she lowered the weapon. She threw a menacing glance at Merle, who stood staring past her. The girl was holding onto her daddy's arm. They walked slowly back into the cell block.
Rick glared at Merle as he followed them. Merle turned abruptly and walked into the tombs. He didn't know where he was going, but he knew he needed to be far from that goddamn cell block. The realization that Beth had lied to protect him hit him, and he stopped. Shit. What the hell did I get myself into now?
The next morning Beth rolled out of bed and saw that most of the red marks had faded. She put on a little bit of makeup and went to breakfast. Merle walked in a little while later, not that Beth was looking for him or anything. She gasped when she saw his face. His bottom lip was cut and his right eye had a black ring around it. She resisted the urge to run over to him, because she knew that whatever happened to him was because of his association with her.
Beth was fuming when her sister walked in with Glenn. She urgently whispered to her, "I thought daddy told you to not do anything to Merle!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Look at him and tell me you didn't do that to his face!" Maggie found Merle in the room and suppressed a cruel laugh.
"No I didn't Beth, but it looks like he got what he deserves. That asshole never shoulda laid a hand on you in the first place." Their voices had risen by now, and Hershel and Glenn were watching the two sisters.
"It was an accident, Maggie!"
"You know that's bullshit! He wants you to think that, so you won't give us the signal to kill him!"
Beth was about to yell at her, but at that comment she closed her mouth. "That's what you think of me? That I would tell you to kill someone? I know we've all changed, Maggie, but we must be a lot worse off than I can see to make you believe that that's the kind of person I am." Beth got up from the table and ran out the front door of the cell block.
"Beth!" Maggie yelled after her. She got up to follow her, but Hershel grabbed her arm. He gave her a look that said, "Let her go." Maggie sat back down.
Merle moved toward the door, thinking that somebody should probably go after her. He got halfway there when Hershel put his hand on the man's shoulder. "Son, was my girl telling that truth last night?"
"Yes'sir. I didn't mean no harm to her."
Hershel nodded and let go of Merle's shoulder. Once he was outside, Merle looked around for the kid. He walked around to the back side of the prison, to one of the destroyed guard towers. Beth had mentioned that she liked it back here because it was farthest from the fences and hardly any walkers could be heard.
"Beth!" he called out. He saw a shape huddled against the tower. "Hey, ya alright?"
"M'Fine." She sniffled.
"No ya ain't. Maggie didn't mean what she said back in there."
"And how the hell would you know?"
"I don't, just takin' a wild guess 'cause she's yer sister. And I know me 'n Daryl've said more than our fair share of insults."
Beth looked up at him. "Why do you even care? Because of me, you got beat up by God knows who. Just stay away from me. All I do is mess everything up." She got up and ran in the back door of the prison. Merle was about to follow, but thought better of it. Let her cool off and she'll come back when she's ready.
He heard a scream from inside, and he sprinted to the door, pulling his gun from the holster. He ripped the door open and followed the sound of groans and yells down the hallway. Beth was backed against the wall, barely fighting off a big walker in a prison jumpsuit. Merle pulled it off her and shot it in the head.
Beth sobbed next to him, and she looked around with wide eyes. She had one hand twisted in Merle's shirt; she clung on for dear life. She crumpled into his chest, whimpering. He heard more walkers coming down the tombs, drawn to them by the shot Merle had fired.
"We gotta go, Beth," Merle growled. He half-pulled her back through the tombs and slammed the door behind them, sticking a wood plank against the door to hold it.
Rick was the first one to see them come out the building, and he called to the others. "We heard a shot! Are you okay?" Tyreese and Rick helped to barricade the door. Beth was still attached to Merle, digging her nails into his arm she was holding on so tight.
"Yeah we're fine. A group of 'em musta busted outta one of the cells back here," Merle answered.
Maggie ran over to them and grabbed Beth in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, Bethy."
"It's okay. I'm fine. Merle saved me," Beth answered.
"Speakin' a which, ya can take yer nails outta my arm any time," Merle commented.
Beth pried her hand off of the older man and said, "Sorry."
"Thank you," Rick said to Merle.
He nodded, and they walked to front of the prison.
They went about their daily tasks as usual. Once everyone was awake, they sent a group to deal with the walkers that had gotten free. Merle, Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Tyreese, and a few of the Woodbury men helped clear it out. They even found a few good guns and supplies.
Merle was on watch that night, so he went to lie down for a few hours.
Beth laid down in her little bunk, per the doctor's, A.K.A. dad's, orders. While she rested, she devised a plan. Around midnight, she snuck out of the cell block and made her way to the guard tower. The cool night air made her shiver in her pajama shorts and tank top. She climbed the stairs and cracked the door open. She flinched when it creaked softly, but Merle didn't move. She cleared her throat to speak, hoping to scare him.
"Couldn't sleep again darlin'?" He asked without turning around. She stood silent for a second then laughed.
"Yeah," Beth finally said in defeat.
"What's been keepin' ya up?"
Beth took a deep breath. "You."
Merle looked at her quizzically. "Whatchu mean, me?"
In the moonlight Beth looked like an average 18 year old girl. Blonde hair, big eyes, youthful body. Truthfully, she was so much more. She was feisty and brave and strong. Merle had learned this over the time he'd had at the prison.
She saw him studying her and asked, "What really happened to your face, if Maggie didn't do it?"
He chuckled. "Daryl. Clocked me good for hittin' ya."
Beth stifled a little laugh. Merle shot her a look. "Sorry. That's not funny." As she said it, another laugh bubbled out of her chest, and soon they were both laughing. The rest came naturally. They settled into a nice pattern, telling stories and talking about everything they could possibly think of.
They needed this. They needed time to just look back on life and think "I'm glad we did what we did in the time we had." And it made them realize that they still had time, time to do amazing things and time to do other stupid, crazy mistakes.
Beth stood up to demonstrate some story about a fight she and Maggie had back when they were kids, and Merle laughed as it was very involved and theatrical. She spun around, and her shoe lace got caught on a nail sticking out of the floor. She squealed as she fell forward, her hands landing on Merle's chest. They both let out a little "oof!" at the impact, but when Beth looked up, Merle was staring straight into her eyes.
Her eyes flicked down to the rest of his face and back up again. It only took a fraction of a second, but Merle saw it. He leaned down, and Beth pulled herself up so that their lips were centimeters apart. They breathed in each other's scents, sweat and salt and Georgia's spring air.
They weren't sure who moved first, but at some point it was too much, and their lips touched. Merle was hesitant, keeping his hands at his sides. He didn't ask for anything, just let the young girl do what she wanted. Beth's hands slid up his chest to circle his neck, and her tongue begged entry. He opened his mouth and deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her delicate waist, one hand splayed wide on the small of her back.
Their tongues mingled together, Beth rough and wanting, Merle's hesitant but growing more fierce by the second. It wasn't a desperate kiss. It was more like a sigh, a relief. Beth wasn't sure when she had known that she wanted this; she certainly hadn't come up to the guard tower expecting this. Okay, well maybe a little. Expecting wasn't the right word. She was hopeful that this would happen.
Merle's mind, on the other hand, was a racing frantic mess. He had a vague idea that he should stop this, stop it right now before it turned into something they'd both regret in the morning. So then why were his hands moving up her back, to caress the gentle curve of her spine?
Beth pulled herself up so that she was straddling the man in his chair. The back of her tiny tank top rode up, and she gasped when Merle's cool hands met her hot skin. His grip tightened at the skin to skin contact, and the young girl pushed her body flush against his. She was an expert kisser, like really fucking good. And when she took Merle's bottom lip between her teeth and tugged, he let out a strained moan.
"Fuck," Merle growled and ground his hips up to meet hers. Beth moaned into his mouth, which only served to arouse the man more.
Her hands traveled down his chest. Merle twisted one hand in the girl's shirt and pulled it up, exposing all of her torso. He moved his mouth to her neck, trailing kisses and panting little breaths from her jawline to the crease between her breasts. She threw her head back in ecstasy and then giggled -fuckin' giggled- as Merle's lips tickled her light skin as they trailed back up to her neck. Merle looked down at the girl in his lap, this young, complex girl.
Beth refused to let her lips leave his for more than a few seconds, so Merle was quickly lost in her body once again. With a sudden burst of confidence, she pressed her chest toward him, invitingly. He didn't miss a beat. She watched as he took the top of her tank top between his teeth and snapped it back. She settled back into his lap and grinned at how hard he was. I did that. Beth smiled internally.
Merle took heavy breaths as he pulled Beth's shirt up and over her arms. He palmed her little breasts in his calloused hands, and she moaned in pleasure. He flicked his tongue out and licked one nipple, making it pucker even more than it already was. Beth squirmed in his lap and rubbed herself against his rock hard pants.
Her hands ran down his stomach again, and again he moaned in ecstasy. Hmm. Gotta keep that in mind. She rubbed the spot where their bodies met. He growled at her with her breast still in his mouth and thrusted his hips up. Beth was working on the button at the top of his jeans when there was a knock on the door.
They stared at each other for a second, and the doorknob started to turn. Beth scrambled off of his lap, and Merle threw her shirt to her from where he had tossed it earlier. She shut herself into the little supply closet just as Daryl stepped through the doorway.
"Whatcha want Darylina?" Merle said, putting his legs up on the desk in hopes of disguising his raging hard-on.
"My watch, least til we go on that run later. Brought ya some breakfast too."
"Oh." It's morning already? Daryl took a seat next to him and set his crossbow down.
Well what in the fuck am I gonna do now? Merle decided to just take the classic way out: lie. "Rick was here earlier, said he was lookin' fer ya. Somethin' 'bout the fence on the east side?" Rick was always up before dawn, so it was a safe bet to lie about him.
Daryl gave Merle a side-long glance, thinking he was acting strangely helpful for the usual 7-in-the-morning-Merle. He watched his brother's gaze flit around the room nervously. Something was going on, but Daryl decided to leave it be. For the time being.
"Alright. He say where he was goin'?"
"Nah, but prob'ly his fields."
"'Kay. I'll be back."
Merle nodded at him, and Daryl shut the door. Seconds later Beth came bursting out of the supply closet, sputtering and tearing cobwebs from her hair. Merle couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her. She shoved him playfully and laughed, then got serious.
"Now, where were we?" she asked, trailing a finger down his chest.
Merle looked past her to the trays of food on the table. "Now I wouldn't mind pickin' up where we left off, but my brother's gonna be back soon."
Beth sighed. "Okay. Later?"
Merle scratched his head. "I don't know, kid. I'm gonna be pretty busy with workin' and…" He couldn't even get the sentence out before he cracked a smile. "Maybe. Gonna have to see how the day goes."
Beth smiled. "Okay." She reached up and gave him a peck on the mouth, which turned into a bit more than that. Merle pulled away first and pushed her toward the door. It wouldn't look too good to have her walking out of the tower, half clothed in pajamas while people were coming out to get dinner.
He watched her walk into the cell block. How her little body shimmied when she walked, how the light glinted off her sun-bleached hair. Why hadn't he noticed these things before? Maybe 'cause ya hadn't sucked her tits yet, big boy. That stupid voice taunted him.
Before his brain could conjure up any more asshole comments, Daryl burst through the door.
"Rick said he didn't know what the hell you was talkin' 'bout," he said, looking at his brother accusingly.
Merle, lost in the recesses of his old and tortured mind, muttered something about "musta been a dream" and walked out, slamming the door behind him.
Beth's mind was once again dominated by Merle Dixon. What does this mean? We kissed. It has to mean something. Why did he even kiss me in the first place? Was he feeling the same things as her? Wait- did he kiss me, or did I initiate it? Crap. I am never getting to sleep.
Beth sat up all morning, listening to the sounds of people milling around and getting ready for the tried unsuccessfully to push the gruff, but strong- God was he strong- man from her mind. Finally exhaustion overtook her, and she fell asleep, grasping her pillow as if it were him.
Merle was an asshole. A useless, selfish, worthless asshole. By the time he reached his cell block, he had convinced himself of that, and much more. His tormented mind's voice had made him a list. Asshole. Jerk. Motherfucking Pervert. The last one was bad. Red clouded Merle's vision every time he thought it. Beth was a kid; she was maybe 18. But her age didn't make a difference to the people here. She was the baby, of the adults at least.
And Merle Dixon had just ripped her shirt off of and was about to do something so terrible and immensely wrong with this kid. He hated himself for how much he liked it, and even as he thought these terrible thoughts at himself, he couldn't help but think about the next time he would see this girl.
Still. What happened tonight couldn't happen again. It wouldn't.
I seem to have a problem with ending my chapters on sad notes... Something to work on. I hope you liked it though! I did have one question for my readers: Do you think I use Merle's full name too much? I just use it for effect in some places, but I was reading my story and I seemed to have written "Merle Dixon" a lot. I was just wondering what you guys thought! Thank you much and stick around for more. Chapter Four is in the works! :)