III

During dinner, Lily wanted to know everything about "the Scorpius-thing" from Rose. Was there any visible success? Had he looked at her in a loving way, hade they agreed on a date had they- Rose had to silence her younger cousin quickly. She almost regretted having told Lily that she wanted to make Scorpius Malfoy her boyfriend. Now Lily couldn't think of anything else when they were talking, and most often she asked things loud enough for everyone to hear. And that was the last thing Rose wanted. Scorpius would never discover any feelings for her if they were already believed to be a future couple. He hated gossip.

"Lily, shut up!" she whispered.

"Ooh, so something happened?"

"No. We're going to work together in care of Magical Creatures for some time now, though."

"Cool, so you'll have more chances to-"

"Nope. With Albus always around, I'm just …Albus' female cousin. You're polite to girls, especially to friends and relatives of your best friend. So be very nice to her. This is what happens."

"So you…talk?"

"We do nothing, we work…" She sighed. "He can be quite difficult, he's always so reserved…"

"Oh Rose, you are never going to make it when you're shy."

"But I'm not! There's just nothing you can do. If I asked him out, and he had nothing else to do, he'd accept, just to be polite!"

"Ouch. Well…ehm… just keep on trying, then." She smiled in order to cheer up Rose who just sighed full of megrim.

On the opposite side of the Great Hall, Albus tried to make Scorpius tell him about his strange behaviour in their History of Magic lesson. Scorpius, however, didn't want to tell him during dinner, when everybody was able to listen. Instead, he seemed – once again – absorbed by his thoughts. When he thought that Albus couldn't see it, he watched him with a sad expression on his face. Still Albus remarked it one or two times, and it was clear to him that, whatever Scorpius had on his mind, had something to do with him. Obviously, this wasn't very positive. But no matter how far he went in his reflections, he couldn't find anything he'd done that could have harmed Scorpius. It had to have happened a while ago, too, because Scorpius behaved strange since they had returned to Hogwarts - there was this strange scene when he had confessed he loved him – although it had been clearly meant as "love between brothers" (it had been, hadn't it?), it was very unusual for a Slytherin to speak of his feelings that open. It was strange indeed, and he couldn't wait for the moment Scorpius told him what was the matter. Albus began to fear for their friendship. Whatever was going on with Scorpius, it was something very personally for the two of them, because besides Albus, nobody seemed to notice. Well, they were at the Slytherin table – a Slytherin didn't appreciate concern unless it was shown by close friends, and Scorpius actually had none. Some of the others liked him, but his one and only friend seemed to be the cause for his melancholy: Albus S. Potter.

"Woah, Scorp, I cannot stand it anymore. Are you finished with dinner?" Scorpius hadn't eaten anything but a tiny pie that evening, but whatever.

"Yes, I think so."

"Then let's go down to the dungeons. I want to get this solved – whatever it is – now."

"Why do you think there is something to be solved? Or if, why do you think that there is a solution for it, then?"

Scorpius stood up and left the table. Albus did so, too. He seemed a bit troubled about what Scorpius had just said.

"Err… I mean… you're so off-normal that there has to be a severe thing that pulls you down, I mean, I know you. And there is always a solution. Come on, we'll get this done."

Scorpius shook his head; again this sad look was in his eyes. "I just don't think so, Al", he said, "I just don't think there is a solution for this. Perhaps there's one in one of a hundred or a thousand times or so, but not for us. Not for me, I mean."

"Don't give up, my friend, we'll get this sorted out, I promise you."

"Better not promise, Al, better not." Scorpius' depression was now weighing heavy on Albus' heart – how could someone be so absolutely negative?

They arrived at the dungeons and entered the Slytherin common room. Their dormitory was empty, because every boy of their year was still at dinner. Albus sat down at his bed and sighed. Scorpius didn't look as though he'd have the motivation to get seated, too.

"Come on, Scorpius. Sit and talk. Please. I really need to know what is going on with you. I cannot stand your unhappiness. I want to see you smiling again!"

"Thank you, mate." Scorpius sat down on his bed and stared at his feet. Eventually he sighed and looked up to Albus.

Scorpius began. "Do you remember yesterday evening? I told you that I love you."

"Yeah, I can still remember I first felt awkward, but when I realised what you meant, I understood…"

"That is the point. I don't think you understood… all of it. When I said 'I love you', I meant it. I mean, I don't love you just like a brother. I… I love you like your dad loves your mum, so to speak…"

Albus jumped up from his bed, his eyes widening. He stared at his friend, a bewildered expression on his face. "You're not telling me you're gay, are you?"

Scorpius returned to watching his feet, shaking his head slowly, sadly. "But yes. This is what I am. And I have fallen in love with you."

Albus sat down again on his bed, opposite to Scorpius, facing him. "But you do know that I like girls, don't you?"

Indeed, Scorpius knew this. Often enough had he had to watch Albus head off with girls after lunch, dinner, lessons, when they were in Hogsmeade… Not only did Albus like girls, girls liked Albus, too.

"Yes, I know" Scorpius said. "This is what made me so said. I know there is no way to get this problem solved."

"But why me? You know all my flaws, my bad attitudes, and there are so many handsome guys you could have fallen in love with? Why me, why your best friend?"

"Albus, nobody is like you. In no one's company I feel so at ease as in yours, at no one's side I would feel as comfortable as at yours. You are unique to me, and this is – partly – because of those flaws I know of. They make you to what you are, and this is what I love."

Now Albus stared at the carpet as he thought about what Scorpius had said. His voice trembled a tiny bit – nobody but Scorpius and perhaps Rose would have remarked it – as he spoke again. "But still you could fall in love with someone else. We could stay friends as we are now." His eyes met Scorpius'. "Don't get me wrong, but I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose your friendship, either. But I just don't see a way how we can hold this up any longer. There is no one who could make me forget what I am feeling for you."

Albus was depressed. Indeed, their friendship was about to break. He could understand why his friend couldn't any longer live with him the way they had lived together before. It just wouldn't work. But…

"Have you ever considered you might like girls, too? I Mean, I didn't think about me possibly being into guys either…"

Scorpius shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know… I never thought some girl was particularly attractive or pretty."

"But perhaps you haven't looked at them the right way…Perhaps I haven't looked guys the right way, either."

"What are you suggesting, Albus? 'Let's try it out; perhaps I'm gay, too? Or try and nail a girl, perhaps you'll like it enough to forget your love for me.' This just won't function. I don't think you'd like to kiss me, would you? And just trying wouldn't help me to live with the fact that the person I love can never love me back. If I had felt you lips on mine once, I would never be able to forget this. I'd dream of this, again and again and again. So it will be the best if we just split up our ways. We won't be happy together, neither as friends nor as a couple. So please, just leave it. I am sorry, but what could we do."

He stood up and locked one more time his eyes with Albus'.

"No, Scorp, don't walk away just like this! I can't take losing you." Only when he heard his voice speaking those words, he realised that he could not endure the loss of his best friend. His life just wouldn't be the same. Broken, he whispered, "don't leave me. I- I love you."

Tears filled Scorpius eyes, he swallowed hard, and with a husky voice he replied, "But not in the way I love you. Believe me, we couldn't bear this. You'll get used to it, you have to. I suffered, too, but I have accepted it now. You will be okay soon, I'm sure." He sighed. "Goodbye, Albus Severus. Please don't come after me."

And he left. Albus felt miserable, even heartbroken. And if he really loved Scorpius back, the way Scorpius loved him…? He just wasn't sure. He felt entirely destroyed, and he needed comfort now. From his father, he had inherited the Marauder's Map, but not the Invisibility Cloak, who was now James' possession. On the Map, he was looking for Rose. She just came out of the Great Hall. The other Slytherin boys would enter their dormitory soon, anyway, so Albus hurried to catch his cousin before she was in the Gryffindor common room.

"Rose", she heard someone whisper. She turned her head to make out from where the voice had called when she noticed her cousin standing in an alcove, obviously waiting for her.

"Albus, what's the matter?"

"I have to talk to you. Now."

"Really?" She sighed. "So then talk."

"Not here. Come with me."

They went on the grounds, to a tiny forest quite far from the lake, because Albus knew that Scorpius would be sitting there to be alone. He always was. It was still warm enough to be at ease outside, even in the evening, but still Albus shivered. When they arrived between the trees and stopped, Albus hugged Rose in the first place. He just needed the comfort, and she understood immediately that her best friend was sad.

"What has happened, Al?"

Close to tears, Albus spoke raucously. "Scorpius is gone."

"What, he is gone?"

"He isn't my friend anymore. He thought we couldn't continue our friendship, bec-because- because he loves me." Now Albus really was crying.

"But of course he loves you, you are best friends. You do love him, too, don't you?"

"Yes, oh yes, I do love him! But not the way he loves me. Scorpius… Rose, he's gay."

"What?" Rose's world was shattered. Actually she didn't mind people being gay, not at all. But just the boy she loved, she wanted to live with – it was just unfair. How could he do this to her? And, when she remembered where she was, and with whom, how could he do this to Albus? The selfish bastard – wait. Of course he hadn't had the choice to be gay and fall in love with Albus. Probably he suffered from losing his best friend, too. The situation was really crappy.

"How did it happen?"

"He says he would just feel at ease with me, everything that makes me myself – even my flaws – would be what he loves. I don't know exactly… and I think he doesn't himself, too."

"And then he said he could not longer be your best friend?"

"Yes, because he could never forget his true feelings for me, even if there were someone as a distraction. It would be too painful for him, not being able to love me properly, and too painful for me to see him so sad." Albus shivered again. "He was so cold. I know he suffered, and still suffers, but he seemed so…determined to leave me."

When he started to sob, Rose embraced him once more.

"Hey, come on Al. We'll get it sorted out, you'll see. We just have to find a way how. I mean, some day there will be someone Scorpius likes the way he likes you now. And then he can be your best friend again. We just have to find this particular person soon enough."

"You're speaking of yourself."

Rose blushed a bit. "Yeah, I'm selfish, aren't I?" She sighed. "But well, perhaps he likes girls, too. I mean, who knows?"

"We spoke about that." Albus was gathering himself. "I said he couldn't be sure of it. Even I could not be sure if I did not perhaps like boys, too. He said he hadn't ever found some girl particularly pretty or attractive, so he doesn't think he likes girls, too."

"Oh Albus… it was a very stupid thing to hint in the direction 'Perhaps-I'm-gay-too-then-we-can-be-a-couple', do you have any idea how excruciating this was for him? Imagine you had kissed, because you desperately wanted to keep your friendship and then you'd just say, 'Okay, Scorp, I found out the truth about myself – I really am 100% hetero.' Regaining that hope and then – wooosh you're at the bottom of life again.

"But honestly, what can I do if he doesn't like girls at all?"

"Rose Weasley, as hard as I wished for you to seduce him, he is not into girls. He is gay. And indeed you are selfish, just caring about yourself and your little crush on him. This is everyday life TV. Between him and me, there is love, true love. Just in two so contradicting manners. This is tragedy. You can't imagine how much I wish I were gay; sincerely wish for being gay just not to lose him. This is a sensation of pain that your little girlie-brain can obviously neither imagine nor understand. Really, how can you be so pathetic?"

"Albus Severus Dumbledore! How dare you say I was pathetic! Listen to yourself – who is writing all this pathos in his curriculum vitae that doesn't need to be there? And what do you actually think when you're insulting me like this? Do you desperately search for losing your second best friend, too? Well, you're on the best way too that. I would have never thought that you could ever get so… slytherinlike. You're disgusting!"

Screaming the last words, she ran away, leaving a stunned Albus behind her. 'What had he done wrong?', he wondered. She was just being a stupid sod, probably. After all it was him who had to suffer most of them three. Scorpius seemed to have come over it, and she – she didn't lose much. Pah. Gryffindors.