A/N: So, originally part three was meant to be the entirety of Red Badge, but it's spiralling out of control, so I've decided to split it into two. So this is Red Badge Part One and I'll have Part Two coming up asap. And for continuity's sake, I'm using lyrics from the same song for both parts.

Thank you to twin for having a quick read through and stopping me from panicking about it and also to: mtm, WildDaisies10, Divinia Serit, Iloveplotbunnies, blondieland, yaba, lisbon69, mwalter1, HOUSEMDFanForever, Famous4it, Simonisthecuttestmentalist, Penelope Louise, Viktorija, Country2776, Ebony10, Frogster, Charmed225, PhoenixWytch and boutondor for reviewing part two. You guys rock and I'm so glad you're enjoying it.

x tromana

It's easier said than done to make a life for yourself
One minute you're fine then you turn around
The world's gone off with someone else
And if it seems that way, I guess it is that way
But there's no need to be alone
You can always ask, you can always call
I'll want nothing in return
-Count On Me, Oliver Tompsett and Ashleigh Gray

Part Three

Lisbon wanted to trust him, really she did. But how can you trust somebody who gives with one hand only to take with the other straight away? As far as she was concerned, however much Jane implied that his family's deaths had changed him, that he was at least trying to be a better man now, she just found it impossible to believe. The past fourteen months or so had been intriguing to say the least. There was one thing she couldn't deny and that was that Jane certainly made work that little more light-hearted, that little more fun. Well, most of the time anyway. Unless he had been temporarily blinded and was being even more of a pain than usual. Or they'd just had a run in with Red John and that slightly terrifying fervor had taken hold once more. But generally, she'd begun to relax around him and she was slightly less paranoid that he would start blackmailing her with regards to their thing. Only slightly, mind, because it was Patrick Jane and frankly, she thought that absolutely nothing was below him provided he could get what he wanted from it.

And just a couple of months ago, he'd saved her life.

They'd lost the Red John case too, to Bosco.

But still. He'd sacrificed his only link to the notorious murderer to save her. The woman who he slept with the night his wife died.

Dr. Roy Carmen looked at her with a slightly bemused expression. It felt like the damn man had been trying to get her to talk about something, anything for weeks now. And he has the audacity to wonder why she'd prefer to keep a few things secret. Lisbon was beginning to think she'd run out of excuses now. There was only so many times you can turn up late for an appointment, rely on another agent to pull her out of it for some crucial detail pertaining to a case or feign a migraine. Pulling a face, she sipped on the coffee. There was something off about it; it always seemed to taste wrong in his office but she couldn't figure out why. She was almost relieved when her cell phone went off, giving her an immediate escape route, but the knowledge that she'd be trapped in there with him again some time soon didn't really help.

As they traveled the brief twenty minutes to the crime scene, she could practically feel Jane's eyes boring into her. She clenched onto the steering wheel slightly more tightly; today was turning out to be one of those days when she could really do without his style of aggravation. It didn't help that she was still having to field off complaints about him due to suits who had taken offense or that her brothers were hinting that she should go and visit them and the happy little families they now had. Families which she wasn't jealous of, definitely not, or so she kept telling herself anyway. Really all she wanted to do was get the day over and done with so she could go home and have a long, hot shower to relax. Shrink day always lead to her feeling more tense than usual and that in turn always lead to Jane probing.

The moment she saw William McTeer's body, she decided that life was just out to get her. Somebody or something seemed to think that it was about time to drag all the old skeletons out of the closet and remind her of times she'd much rather forget. Still, she had a job to do and the sooner they could get this one over and done with, the better. At least, having now worked with the blond for a significant amount of time, she was prepared for his psychoanalysis. Lisbon knew there was little point in lying about her connection to the McTeer case, Jane just wouldn't let go, so kept her explanations as brief as possible before deflecting conversation and hoping to hurry back to the CBI headquarters. But still, it seemed like everyone she was working with right now could find some kind of leverage to use against her and that was overwhelmingly disconcerting.

***

Lisbon was tense and that worried Jane. Normally, she could carry the stresses of her job and lifestyle so well that you barely noticed that she was dealing with one problem or another, but it had been growing more and more noticeable of late. He knew she was notorious for bottling up her memories and that was always a dangerous habit but that wasn't something he could change immediately. What he could do was help her relax a little by playing games, especially as she had been slowly becoming more receptive to his trickery lately. Persuading her to join in with his charade had been easy enough, though she was of course rather desperate to get moving with the task in hand. He even managed to sneak in a question about Bosco and she barely flinched. Baby steps, that was all it would take to bring down the stubborn little woman's resolve. And plenty of perseverance of course. One day, she might actually let him help her properly instead of pushing him back again. Regardless of what she thought, he actually quite liked her despite the fact that she was the bridge between his past and present and he really didn't know how to react to that. Not many individuals knew him both before and after; she was in an enlightened position. Maybe that was what drove him to try and help her out with her general well-being?

That and he knew that she'd always had to fend for herself in the past and really, that just wasn't fair on her.

It was nice seeing her slightly more calm as she dismissed the importance of the McTeer case to her career to the others and Jane felt a hint of pride run through his veins. But it wasn't until Bosco appeared, obviously intrigued by the fact that history seemed to be repeating itself, that he realized that there was a twinge of jealousy too. The senior agent looked at Lisbon, his Lisbon, with a softened expression which he didn't seem to bother using with anybody else and she obviously responded well to it. Bosco had only joined the CBI relatively recently, specifically to head up the unit on the Red John case and it was clear that the pair had missed having one another in their lives. Part of him wished that Lisbon could think the same about himself, but he knew that she rather resented their history.

It was almost a relief when everyone went their separate ways to actually get on with the case, even if he'd have rather been accompanying Lisbon to the live-in girlfriend's home rather than Van Pelt.

***

A very bad day just got incredibly worse when Rigsby told her the news. How the hell could the prints have gotten onto that gun? Lisbon had never even seen it before. What horrified her was the way Minelli looked at her as if she was not only guilty, but had already been convicted. And then Bosco just had to ask about Tuesday night and whatever she tried, she just couldn't put her finger on what she'd been doing that night. It was strange, but she knew she could hardly tell them the truth as it would immediately make her position ten times worse. As she did so, she had a feeling that she was just spinning a web of lies, something which could come crashing down around her at any second, though she was somewhat comforted when Jane supported her alibi.

She sat in her office, taking several deep breaths and tried to avoid thinking about the stinging sensation developing in the back of her eyes. As her cell phone rang out cheerfully, she paused before pulling it out, glancing in the direction of the door. She'd expected Jane to come barging into her safe haven by now. With a slight shrug, she looked at the screen and rolled her eyes slightly when she saw it was the blond who was calling. Eventually, she answered and pressed the phone against her ear firmly, not really wanting to go through this conversation.

"What do you want?"

"Well, that's just charming," Jane answered smoothly. "Coffee. That's all."

"I'm busy."

"You're always busy."

"Exactly. I don't have time for this."

"Oh come on," he whined and she found herself cringing at his pitiful tone. "I won't mention the fact that I know you're skipping lunch again."

"No."

"Goddammit, why won't you just let me help you, woman?" he seethed and Lisbon could almost imagine the expression his face had taken. "You're so paranoid that I'll undermine you that you won't even give me a chance."

"And that's meant to persuade me to meet you, how?"

"Do you want to clear your name?"

"What's that got to do with coffee?"

"Meet me and find out."

Lisbon's shoulders slumped slightly in defeat and it took her a few seconds to remember that he couldn't actually see her and therefore, didn't know that he'd persuaded her to go along with him. Eventually she muttered a quiet 'fine' and he informed her that it would be best if they met in their usual place. Irritably, she placed her phone down and stared at her computer screen. For some reason, she was struggling to concentrate and still, rather embarrassingly, on the verge of tears. Grumbling, she pulled a tissue out from her box. She didn't want to humiliate herself in front of anyone who could walk through her door at any given time.

***

As she clicked off rather abruptly, Jane stared at the phone, somewhat confused. Shaking his head, he headed towards the café where he'd organized to meet the rest of the team. He knew that Lisbon was fairly certain of her own innocence, despite the fact she was definitely hiding something, but he wasn't quite so sure. People could do strange things when pushed and Lisbon was no exception. Her job had been particularly stressful of late (and he knew that he was partially to blame for that) and then there was the whole psychologist business. Though he didn't think she turned to alcohol or something along those lines for relief, he couldn't entirely rule it. She was a very private person, after all and though it would be quite a feat, it was plausible that she was hiding some kind of addiction away from him.

He was actually rather shocked that Rigsby was sceptical of her innocence too, though Cho's position didn't come as a surprise. The Asian agent was loyal to a fault and he would walk to the ends of the earth to get Lisbon off the hook, if entirely necessary. But finding out their opinions on the subject matter hadn't been his intention. What he wanted was to persuade them to keep working the case, for Lisbon's sake. Nobody would work it as hard as they would and they wouldn't be happy without answers. Jane had seen it as his duty to convince them - she had done a lot for him since he joined the CBI and her team. She'd also brought back a lot of old memories of what he was like back in the day, but that was beside the point. If anything, it was a good thing. It reminded him of just how much of a bastard he was before… and that kept him focused on the task in hand. Though, it didn't necessarily help with his fluctuating emotions for the dark haired little spitfire. Those were something he'd have to keep an eye on, to make sure that they stayed in check.

Lisbon glowered at him from the moment she spotted him from the table she had selected. Nervously, she passed the polystyrene cup from hand to hand, periodically sipping on the coffee to try and disguise flickers of emotion as they discussed her so-called alibi. He'd known she'd lied about it from the moment she'd started talking, hell, even Bosco and Minelli seemed to know. The only person she was really convincing was herself. It was when her voice cracked ever so slightly as she eventually admitted to said lie that his heart broke. She really did seem to think she was alone in all this and he hated that. She deserved someone who cared about her, who needed her and who was she stuck with? Someone she barely trusted because she was terrified about leverage. But considering his attitude back then and his attitude now, Jane knew that he didn't want to ever use it against her because she didn't deserve it. She hadn't known who or what she was getting involved with that fateful night and it was entirely his fault. The only problem was trying to convince her of that and that the hypnotism would be a good idea, if only to put her frazzled mind at ease.

With narrowed eyes, he watched as she stormed away. At least the idea was planted in her head now. Hopefully she would come back later.

TBC…