I wish I owned Naruto, but, alas, I do not.

Yukiko reporting with chapter three. I actually do have a best friend named Megan, and I do call her Megahan. *Waves* "Hi Megan!"

The Hazards of Akatsuki

Chapter 3:

Yukiko slumped onto her bed and pulled out her cell phone. She dialed "seven" and held it until the screen said "Calling Megan." She held the phone to her ear and listened to the rhythmic ringing.

The therapeutic sound was interrupted by a voice, "Hey Yuki-chan!"

"MEGAHAN!" Yukiko said cheerily into the phone.

"What's up?"

"My house is full of crazies,"

"Who's over?" Megan asked.

"Er... You wouldn't know if I told you, and I think they'd be mad at me if I did," Yukiko said.

"So what? C'mon tell me!"

"A bunch of psychotic murderers,"

"... What?"

"Otherwise the Akatsuki,"

"From that one show...?"

"Naruto, yes," Yukiko said as she plucked a piece of fuzz off her comforter. She wished Megan would watch Naruto too.

"Why'd you invite cosplayers over?" Megan asked with a sigh.

"There not cosplayers!"

"Are you sure? This wouldn't be the first time you've been fooled..."

"No I'm serious this time!" Yukiko said defensively, "I would be able to tell a real Deidara from a fake!"

"I'm coming over," Megan said decisively.

"NO!"

Tu~tu~tu

Yukiko shut her phone angrily. Well poo.

Megan jumped onto her bike and rode frantically over to her friend's house, which, luckily, wasn't far away. She bit her lip impatiently as she waited for the cars to pass at the stop sign. Then she peddled as fast as she could; so much so, she began panting from exertion.

She slowed as she pulled up to Yukiko's gigantic mansion of a house. She hopped off her bike and let it fall on the grass as she ran up to the door and rung the doorbell. When Yukiko didn't come after five seconds, she continued to anxiously hit the button.

"Dang, she got here fast," Yukiko muttered under her breath as she rushed to open the door.

"Who's here?" Pein demanded as he cut Yukiko off before she could reach the door. He must think I called the cops.

"Just my friend,"

"Why is she here?"

"I didn't ask her to come!" Yukiko said as she tried to get around Pein. He didn't give in.

"She's not going to stop ringing until someone opens the door," Yukiko threatened. She could tell the sound was getting on his nerves as well.

"WHAT THE * IS THAT SOUND?" Hidan yelled from another room.

Yukiko folded her arms and huffed as she stared up at Pein.

"Open the door," Pein growled as he walked swiftly past her.

Yukiko jumped forward and clicked the deadbolt out of place. Megan burst through the door, nearly whacking Yukiko in the face.

"Took you long enough!" Megan huffed.

"Yeah, I was held up,"

Megan grabbed Yukiko's face and pulled it close to her own.

"What are you doing?" Yukiko asked.

"Checking to see if your eyes are dilated," Megan replied. When she saw they were neither dilated nor constricted, she released her friend's face.

"I'm not on drugs, Megan," Yukiko said.

"Well it's obvious the Akatsuki aren't in your house,"

"Shhhh!" Yukiko placed her hand onto Megan's mouth.

Megan struggled to pull away, but Yukiko was stronger and she gave up.

"It'd freak them out if we let them know that we know who they are! No duh!"

Yukiko took her hand away.

"That's confusing, but OK," Megan said quietly, "But wait! They're fictional characters!"

"Oh? They killed my mom, I think they're real!" Yukiko hissed with a voice on the brink of hysteria.

"What?" Megan asked sympathetically.

Yukiko looked away to hide her sadness. Megan placed her hand on Yukiko's shoulder in order to comfort her friend's loss.

"Aren't you pissed at them?" Megan asked, confused.

"Strangely enough, no," Yukiko answered sheepishly.

"Is it because..." Megan began with a smile.

"No!" Yukiko interrupted and turned away to hide her blush.

Yukiko noticed Megan was looking at something, and she followed her gaze.

Hidan was standing there eating a sandwich and staring at them.

"Got right into the food did you? You guys aren't shy at all," Yukiko said with a laugh.

Megan's jaw hit the floor, "you aren't crazy!"

"Well, we can't be too sure," Yukiko said coyly. She looked back at Hidan, "Go watch TV with Sasori!"

"What the * is 'TV'?" Hidan asked, mouth filled with food.

"C'mon," Yukiko said as she walked past him, Megan following her like a lost puppy. Megan stared at Hidan, eyes wide with terror, as she followed them.

"Oh, looks like everyone found the television," Yukiko said as she walked into the Akatsuki filled living room.

"How does it work?" Kisame asked. He was sitting directly in front of it just about to poke the screen.

"HEY! Don't touch the screen!" Yukiko yelled.

Kisame turned his neck to look at her, "why not?"

"It's bad for it, so don't do it," Yukiko said. What a lame excuse.

Kisame shrugged and put his hand down.

"Is it sorcery?" Itachi asked.

Yukiko laughed as she left the room, "Technology is beyond all of you,"

"What did she say?" Konan asked. Everyone shrugged and looked back to the TV.

"How did they get here?" Megan asked when they were out of hearing range.

"I don't know, and I don't think they do either," Yukiko answered thoughtfully, "I'll ask Pein about it later."

"Who?"

"The leader, of course!" Yukiko said surprised, "who else would I ask?"

Megan smiled evilly, "De-"

SMACK

"Lay off it OK?" Yukiko screeched.

Megan whimpered as rubbed her throbbing cheek.

"So why aren't you freaking out right now? I mean, your house is full of murderers," Megan asked commented thoughtfully.

"Maybe it's the fact that they're AWESOME! But I'm not sure,"

"Is it because..." Megan began but was stopped by Yukiko's threatening face.

"I swear I will murder you with a freakin' kitchen knife if you don't watch yourself, Megan,"

Megan frowned, "why does every threat go to killing with you?"

Yukiko shrugged flippantly, "I don't know, but you wanna go watch Retarded Running Horse 'till it gets boring?"

"That'll take a long time but YES!"

They laughed so long and loud that the Akatsuki had to turn up the volume downstairs.

"Bye, Megan!" Yukiko yelled as she waved to her friend.

"Bye, Yukiko," Megan yelled back, "and stay safe!"

"I'll try to stay alive but no promises!" Yukiko said with a wink.

She watched as Megan rode off into the sunset.

"Yukiko," Pein said from behind her.

She started, dang ninjas! I wish I could be that sneaky!

"Hm?"

"Come with me," he said as he started walking away.

"Wait! Let me get a juice box first!" Yukiko said as she ran into the pantry to retrieve a box filed with apple blood.

She ran back to him, "I got you one too!"

He walked away.

"Fine, more for me!" she joked as she followed him.

He lead her into the living room, where all the other Akatsuki were waiting. Sasori turned the TV off once they entered.

Yukiko looked around, confused, "what's up?"

"We haven't introduced ourselves. If we are going to abide in your household it would only be proper,"

Pein explained.

"Oh, OK," Yukiko said, breathing a sigh of relief. Man, Pein is way too formal.

She sucked on her juice box as they began.

"As you know, I am Pein. The leader of the Akatsuki organization, and the leader of all of them," he said as he motioned to the large group of men and one woman.

"I am Konan,"

"Uchiha, Itachi Uchiha," Itachi stated blankly.

After a short break of rhythm, Kisame realized it was his turn, "Hoshigaki, Kisame."

They each stated their names in an all to formal manner, excluding Hidan, with Tobi left last.

"Tobi! Tobi is a good boy!" he said enthusiastically, making Yukiko smile.

Awkward silence ensued until Yukiko realized it was her turn.

"My name is Yukiko," she said, blushing at her error, "It's nice to meet all of you."

As an attempt to conclude her show as the center of attention, she sucked on her juice box's straw. To her relief, it worked; Pein took the spotlight.

"We will be staying at her home until we find a way to get home. Be sure to respect Yukiko's rules and to keep her home orderly," Pein instructed.

"If you clean up after yourselves and don't burn the place down, I'm sure we'll be the best of friends," Yukiko said with a genuine smile. She did want to be their friends. After all, she was a huge Akatsuki fan.

Hope you all like it! And if you haven't seen Retarded Running Horse, your missing out; You-Tube it. Awkward Yukiko is awkward with introductions.

Reviews= Win... Hint hint.