Hey guys, first of all I want to say: I AM SO SORRY.

I feel really bad because I know this chapter took me so long to put up but I just had so much work with school and everything! I actually counted it and I had 15 assignments to complete, and 7 tests to study for. No joke! I only have 3 assignments left and I've done all my tests so I'm really excited because I can finally relax and of course... write my story! :)

So... yeah, enjoy the chapter and if you guys can give me any answers about my search problem that would be awesome because it's still not fixed and no one replied about it last chapter.

Thank you so much to ForeverFearless14, jodie22, RawhrILoveYou and amberrosalie for reviewing, it's awesome to know at least someone's reading the story, and I would love if you could continue to review, and let your friends know to read it since no one can find it using search! :)

Thanks for being patient guys and once again, I'm really sorry for taking so long.

XXX Lara

Her lips trailed small butterfly kisses up my neck and eventually made their way up to kiss along my jaw, all the time whispering how much she needed me and loved me. Although I melted in her soft, gentle touch and sweet words, I needed to feel her lips on mine.

I gently pulled her beautiful face up to mine and found myself falling into the dark depths of brown that were now looking at me, filled with love and passion. I was too entranced by her beauty that I didn't notice her leaning in to kiss me until I felt her lips find mine. My hand tightened around her waist and the other almost instinctively snaked its way into her beautiful, soft hair. It felt amazing to kiss her soft lips again, and she pressed her body closer to mine as she lay on top of me, effectively making the kiss hard and hungry. It reminded me of the blissful, passionate moments we had shared in the cabin.

I pulled away from the love of my life, gasping for air. It didn't help much when I saw her face; the beauty of it and the love I saw radiating from it almost took the little breath I had left in me away. I smiled at her and whispered "I love you so much Roza, I'll always be here for you"...

I woke up with a start, my dirty shirt sticking to me from where I'd been sweating. I sat up to see around ten guardians looking straight at me. Most had blank faces, but I could still see some of them looking at me with looks that all but screamed "crazy's awoken from another one of his psycho dreams!" Oh god, I better not have been talking in my sleep, I groaned inwardly at the embarrassing thought of the guardians hearing me moaning and mumbling.

Wait, moaning and mumbling? Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I felt a shiver run through my body as I remembered my dream. Rose and I... oh god, the memories were just too painful. Firstly because it created such a sense of longing in my body, I thought I was going to explode, and secondly; I knew I was never going to be able to have that experience with Rose again. Never be able to hold her, kiss her, tell her how much I loved her, laugh at her smartass attitude or run my hand through her beautiful, silky hair.

Thinking about this depressing fact made me so distressed; I could have sworn I was physically shaking as the tears rose to my eyes. But, in what I hoped was what Rose would call true Dimitri style; I refused to let myself cry in front of the guardians. I had once promised myself never to let myself be weak in the presence of guardians again; although I had betrayed this promise multiple times when I woke up from one of my haunting dreams, the tears already spilling from my eyes to the floor.

This dream however had been different from the others; this one had made me happy, and I wanted to just stay in my fantasy dream world and pretend my life was not the tangled mess it really was.

The other dreams I always had involved more or less the same thing; I was a Strigoi and killed Rose, or Rose was a Strigoi and she killed me. Both of the dreams were horrific and torturing in their own ways.

The first one was of me as a Strigoi, killing Rose. In this twisted nightmare; I tortured her until she begged for me to stop, crying on the floor. Only once she had practically begged for me to kill her, would I simply snap her neck and watch her fall to the ground at my feet, emotionless.

This dream always left me shaking with fear, mainly because I knew that at one point of my life, when I was a Strigoi obviously, I had wanted to do just that. Kill Rose. Kill the love of my life.

The second dream was equally as terrifying, if not more so. In this one, Rose was the Strigoi and she had killed me the exact same way I had killed her in my other dream I kept having.

I was standing in the dark alleyway, listening for any signs of danger, when I felt someone's hot breath on my neck;

"Hey comrade, miss me?"

I whipped around to see Rose smiling coldly at me. I used to live for those smiles; they always brightened my day. But seeing her smile now, it just didn't have the same affect on me when it was plastered on her cold hard Strigoi face. I shivered while thinking of the days when we were both Dhampir's, when everything was perfect; just before the attack on St. Vladimir's when my Roza was turned.

I realised too late that my little nostalgic moment would cost me my life. I heard her whisper to me in her cold, but always beautiful voice, just one more time;

"See you in hell comrade."

Our eyes locked one more time, but it didn't make me melt inside like it always used to. The red rings she flaunted now actually caused a sick feeling to form in my stomach.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see her any longer, scared at how I would react if I had to look at her and remember everything we went through, only to have it all destroyed when she was turned...

That was usually where I woke up, sweating, like every other dream I had.

I always wondered to myself whether that was how Rose saw me. Was I really that terrifying? Really that cruel, that heartless? The answer made the bile rise in my throat; yes. Yes Rose had really seen me like that. When she looked at me she saw a cold, soulless monster who didn't value anyone's life but their own. She saw me as selfish and murderous, and I bet I made her feel sick to the stomach and fear for her life.

Oh god this is just all so wrong. I had once promised to protect her; sworn I would do whatever it took to keep her safe. But I had broken that promise, and broken it in the worst way possible; becoming the danger. I had vowed to protect her and longed to kill her straight afterwards.

I sat on my bed, if you could even call it that considering its size, with my head in my heads still thinking about that dream when I heard the voice of a guardian; firm and emotionless "Belikov. There are people here to see you."

I tried to ignore the pain it caused me when I heard him use my name without the guardian title, but it was impossible. I had worked my whole life to become a guardian, dedicated everything I had to protect the Moroi I was assigned to. Being a guardian was all I had left now that I knew I would never get Rose back after everything I had done to her. It was for this reason that I knew I would do everything I could to ensure I got that title back again. But what if I couldn't? What would my life be like without Rose or my guardian title? I already knew the answer to that, but I knew I was just too afraid to tell myself the truth; I would fall apart. My heart and my life would be in pieces.

In an attempt to distract myself from thinking about the possibility of never being a guardian again and the fact I would never have Rose again; I thought about who it could be visiting me. Wait, was it Rose? Oh, or Lissa. I suddenly felt bad at how quickly I had assumed it was Rose, and how disappointed I felt at the thought of it being Lissa instead. I mentally scolded myself as I looked up.

But it wasn't Rose, and it wasn't Lissa either. It was just more guardians; about five more to add to the ten I already had. I watched with curiosity as a short, bald and slightly overweight Moroi man came to stand in front of the guardians, and almost fell off the bed in shock as he pulled out a set of keys and started to unlock my cell.

I saw one of the five guardians standing at the front trying really hard to keep from laughing as he saw my shocked expression. I think his name was Mikhail Tanner, and although I didn't know him well, I was sure I had probably spoken to him a few times when we were both on duty.

I looked at him questioningly, and he actually gave me a small smile before slipping his guardian mask back into place. Wow, that was weird. I guess he believed I was a Dhampir again. Although I hardly knew this man, I was glad to know at least somebody believed me.

I watched with confusion as Guardian Tanner walked away with another guardian, coming back soon after with a table, two chairs stacked neatly on top of it. What the hell is going on here?

The Guardians walked into my cell, placed the table in the middle with the two chairs sitting either side of the table. The five guardians who had been standing in front of my cell before came inside and crammed themselves along the walls. Seeing all five guardians, the bald Moroi and I all packed inside this tiny cell actually made me laugh out loud, but I stopped abruptly as I noticed the strange stare I was receiving from the Moroi. I looked at him and along with the weird look I saw him giving me, I also noticed he had now sat himself down in one of the chairs on either side of the table.

Great, just great. There's one more person to add to my list of people who think I'm a psycho. And trust me; the list is pretty damn long.

"Belikov. Sit."

Wow, definitely not a man of many words. I looked to the door as I sat down, surprised they had just left it open. As if he had heard my thoughts, one of the ten guardians outside walked forward, took the keys back from the Moroi man and locked the cell back up. As I heard the door slam shut, I couldn't help the frantic feeling that I would be trapped here forever from rising in my chest.

I had been sitting down for a while now, but the Moroi man had still not said a word. He just sat there looking at his papers, then up at me, and then down to his papers again. My curiosity ended up getting the better of me though.

"I don't mean to be rude Sir, but I am confused as to who you are and why you're here"

The Moroi man simply stared at me like he thought I was stupid.

He spoke after several more seconds of the awkward silence. "Why I'm here to determine whether or not you're still a Strigoi."