Sitting on the bench, Rachel reached her hand up to wipe away her tears. She looked down at the little baby in her arms and smiled. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" She voiced the meaningless words to her daughter, but was really asking herself.
"Are you okay?" Rachel jumped when she heard Quinn's voice, nearly forgetting she was meeting her here.
"I'm fine," she replied, setting Lizzie back in her stroller.
"I saw Sam," Quinn said, eyeing Rachel carefully. Rachel gave her a nod.
"I know," Rachel said.
"You can't just keep acting like this is okay, Rachel," Quinn said.
"I'm not! I know that it's not okay, Quinn! I understand that this is a big deal. But if I lose my cool over this guy, then it could screw my daughter's life up forever. She could get attached to him and just leave, just like he did before," she said. Quinn pursed her lips together as the two girls stood up and started to walk. They stayed silent for a moment.
"I don't think Lizzie is the one that's going to get attached," Quinn said quietly. Rachel took in a sharp breath.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.
"It's supposed to mean that I think you feel something for him," Quinn replied. Rachel stayed quiet a moment, choosing her words carefully.
"Sam's the father of my child, it's impossible to not feel something for him," she said.
"I think it's more than that," Quinn said.
"Well, you're wrong, Quinn. Okay? You're wrong. I-I feel absolutely nothing for Sam Evans. What we had was a brief affair that was it," she said.
"Do you believe that?" Quinn asked. Rachel gave her a defiant nod.
"I do."
After Rachel returned home, she tucked Lizzie into her crib for a nap and made herself a cup of tea. She curled up in her arm chair, flipping the TV on for some background noise. She couldn't get her thinking straight. Maybe Quinn was right. Maybe she was worried about falling in love was Sam all over again. But was she really in love with him in the first place? She didn't know.
She knew what she had to do. She had to talk to the one person who knew her better than she knew herself.
She picked up her phone and dialed the number, anxiously awaiting an answer.
"Well, hello Miss Berry," the familiar voice said.
"Kurt! Oh, I'm so glad you picked up. You're not in rehearsal are you?" she asked. Kurt had landed a role in an off Broadway production of Legally Blonde: The Musical and was now traveling all over the country performing.
"No, one of the sorority sisters fell off a set piece and broke her ankle. We got a ten minute break. Speak to me, dear, what's up? How've you been? How's the baby?" he asked.
"I'm alright. Lizzie's great. She loved the birthday gift you sent her, by the way," she said.
"Well, every toddler deserves a pair of Prada shoes," he said. Rachel giggled, then let out a small sigh. "Are you sure you okay? You're quiet. You're never quiet."
"I saw Sam," she said, closing her eyes as she said the words aloud.
"Sam? As in 'Trouty Mouth?' As in 'you slept with him at Puckerman's end of summer party?' That Sam?" he asked.
"Yes! Yes. That Sam," she said.
"And? Did he see Lizzie?" he asked.
"Sort of. It was by accident. I took Lizzie to the park to meet Quinn and he was there," she said.
"So he knows?" he asked.
"He know."
"Oh my Gaga. This is the biggest scandal I've heard in a while! So what is he going to do? What are you going to do?"
"I told him that we could spend some time together and he could get to know her a bit. But he and I have to see each other first so we could talk things out," she said.
"Sounds fair enough," he said.
"I know, but-"
"Rach, I've gotta get back to rehearsal. I love you and I miss you like crazy! Kiss Lizzie for me. Mwah!" And with that, Rachel was listening to an empty phone line. She sighed and set her phone done, curling up into her chair to rest her chin on her knees.
The next step would be the hardest, and she knew it. But she gave Sam her word, and steps needed to be taken accordingly. She picked up her phone and dialed the number she could never bring herself to delete.
"Hello?"
"Sam, it's Rachel."
"Hey.." he said tentatively.
"Are you busy tonight?"
"No, not really. Why, is everything okay?"
"Quinn said she can babysit tonight. So… we should talk."
"We should do more than talk. How about I take you to dinner?" Rachel hesitated.
"A-Alright."
"Let's meet at Delmonico's at 8. I'll see you then?"
"See you then."