Disclaimer: I don't own Jackie Chan Adventures.
Betaed by: Zim'smostloyaservant
Chapter Two
It Makes About As Much Sense In Context
And so began the Talisman hunt, once again!
Despite me being quite a bit more reasonable than Shendu — giving Valmont an urn of jewels for every Talisman — the Dark Hand remained a thing of fail. Rather than lil' ol' me getting a Rat so I could touch toes, apparently the whole Gnome Cop thing still went down. Though somehow that little rodent brought a giant Turbo Troll to life alongside Gnome King.
Yeah, the only thing upholding the masquerade there was that no one would believe a mini kaiju fight between action figure characters. And I missed it!
No Sheep Talisman, either, to at least be able to do more than be home base for pre-origin story T and the others. Well, okay, the Shadowkhan brought me a TV and worked the remote for me. Valmont never shut up about how it ruined the set up of his office. And only Ratso appreciated that Ancient Forces of Evil can like Saturday morning cartoons. What would these guys even know about ancient things? I have fought many ancient things, and I still know very little, thank you very much!
Okay, that came out wrong. You see how well your conversation and narration skills are after petrification and rooming with a snobby evil Brit for months.
Anyway, I got the Dragon and Monkey Talismans. Monkey didn't work on me. Apparently the sealing on me locked my form, period, though if not it would probably have just turned me into a stone moose in Ancient Chinese garb or something?
But eventually, we got down to the last, with New Year's beckoning. And yes, I was not going to unleash a dragon army. But telling him it was vital, like for Shendu, got Valmont to finally break out the stops and his wallet to lay siege to the Shop.
Oh, and by the way, the Sheep was thwarted because "Chan's brat" got back in their body just before Ratso nicked it. So their attempt to escape with it, instead of being a rare case of competent thievery, turned into a merry chase that saw a great many goats released to run free on the streets. Don't ask me, I don't fully understand either.
But anyway, Tiger came along as expected and- What? You expected a play-by-play of the Talisman hunt version 2.0? Oh, that would be neat, seeing what changed and what didn't! Only for the fact I WAS STUCK IN VALMONT'S OFFICE THE WHOLE TIME!
Sure, there were some interesting times. Ratso asking me if Lo Pei was an ex-boyfriend. Turning Valmont into a rat for displeasing me. Offering to teach Tohru magic; Valmont answered "no" for him. Turned Valmont into a rat. Ratso into an orangutan. Fin into a weasel. Valmont into a rat again. The TV into a hippo… Wait, did I ever turn Chow into things? Huh, I guess he did dodge or deflect every time. Huh. Well played, Shades. Well played.
Anyway! So, putting my adventures in office décor to a close, Valmont was poised to strike the last half of the Tiger home into my gown, over my statue form's heart, of all things, when the proto J-Team burst in.
My first thought was: that kid, is not me.
Then my return to flesh and blood woke up the Jade Dragon.
Yeah. Get ready for backstory boys and girls.
XXX
Destruction, devastation beyond the cycle of growth and death. A destruction that upended such cycles and left chaos in its wake as it burst apart order. Yet even this was part of order, in its way. The vandal to the mender. The rogue to the Watchmen.
Upon the Earth, it rampaged for no reason other than it was meant to. For it was calamity made made flesh. Some called it Shenron — who or what was not recalled, for these were dreams of memories of a life past. I was never Shenron, and it was never me. But what became me was part of it. It could not die, it was too massive, too deep in everything in the world.
But its foe could subdue it. Divide it against itself, and scatter the pieces into conflict. Its own nature turned on it, as arms fought legs and such.
I was fire's darkness. The wildfire that destroyed and killed even as it cleared the way for renewal. The volcanic eruption that destroys the landscape even as a new one is born. And in time, I was the fires of war by which nations were consumed, allowing the victors to rise in their place and new peoples to be forged.
I was, and was not, of the Earth. I was fire's darkness and in every fire I existed, though only in some was I ascendant. There was no self as I came to know it. Only the being and burning of all those fires. Though there was sorrow in extinguishment, there was also joy endless in the burning. There was no fear, or even the notion.
Then innocence ended.
Perhaps it was destined inevitability, or some work by a meddler. From flesh empowered I had come, and to it I returned. From every fire drawn out, terror was learned as I came to be in only one place, no longer of the world, but that spot in the volcano, building its power for the eruption to come.
Terror gave way to desire. The desire to escape the prison that was this volcanic womb, my awareness shrunk to behold nothing but the magma and observe only this place where once every flame was my sensory part. When, after centuries of struggle freedom came, it was not what I had sought. Despite my best efforts, I had been born the Demon Sorceress of fire.
The eruption was glorious; it carried me into the sky, the volcano tossing me into the air the way a parent may a child in play. The sight of the world, even those frozen, desolate mountains, made me weep after so long denied anything but molten darkness.
I was carried on the river of lava, rejoicing in motion and sensation. The eruption was violent and horrifying to the humans, I expect, but it was the day of my birth, and the only mother I would ever know — the volcano that birthed me — showed me that despite my lost innocence, the world could be beautiful to one who is only one.
I dwelled on my mother. To stay with her even after the raiments had cooled into rock seemed only natural. I easily fond the cracks that led me down to warmth, letting me sleep away from the wind and chill, warmed by her. Without knowing how or why, I stoked her flames and strengthened her stones, making her grand and majestic in her destructive beauty. Such was my love.
I craved meat, so I hunted, leaving on gangly legs and carrying fire in myself. I ate whatever I could find to sate my hunger and returned to sleep. Once I had explored her body to the fullest, I only roused myself from her depths or steaming slopes for food.
Humans were simply meat, no one told me they were any different from anything else. The only hint I received they were different was when they started to serve my hunger. They delivered their own kind to me, so I would not hunt, I now realize, so those they wanted to die would die instead of them.
It was troubling. The change forced thought on me. If they were different, what else was?
It may have been in this time my Siblings sought me.
How did they find me? Magic, I would assume — there was no bond between us, other than a common origin and nature. They realized a piece was missing, and for greed or curiosity, they went looking.
They found my mother, but not me. They searched well, but I hid better.
I could not have guessed then that these menacing and majestic beings were kin to me. There were not born trying to avoid it. These creatures had embraced existence and its power as a birthright, and while not yet what they would be, whether it was elegant clothing or simply posture of confidence enrobed in power, these were clearly beings of great importance.
Next to them I was stunted, ignorant, a runt in every sense. Those who called out, I could not grasp their words. They left in the end, those who came. Tso Lan looked the longest, and actually injured my mother before giving up.
Time passed on, and I continued to exist with no thought for past or future. But the world will not tolerate standing still, the wheel — even if it repeats — demands motion, a performance.
A man of good magic invaded my home and challenged me. A shaman or something of the sort. I thought it was merely another offering. But the man clad in hides and with one eye plucked from its socket and worn as a totem in pendant, that man taught me pain.
I should have won, truly. But I had never fought before, never needed to draw upon my strength in earnest. Never considered anything but those strange intruders could make me prey.
I was cast out. Magic could not seal me in a jar, as he intended, so instead he cast me far and hexed me to never return. It seemed the hero settled for this monster to become someone else's problem.
And so my childhood ended. For under moonlight I was defeated, and Tso Lan came to know what I was and where I was cast.
The Highest of Brothers, he would be my first teacher and master, and the first betrayer. All of them I would serve in turn, and all I would learn to hate, but he alone would stand out above the rest.
I would learn from them of treachery and that I was weak, and none of them would help me catch up, even If I could. I was a trophy of a minion, the pleasure of commanding one of their own kind.
But I was born spiteful of being born. Spite nourished me and drove me to escape their thrall. Trickery was my place. Hsi Wu could make his claims, but his was a hobby, while mine was how I gained my place as a calamity among calamities. I could defeat none of them alone, but I could turn them on one another. I could steal by guile what I could not take by force.
Perhaps in their own way they came to fear me, even Tso Lan who named me. For I knew their every weakness, and used each and every one against them without pride or shame, rather than be under their claws ever again.
And when our age ended by Immortal hands, their powers failed them while my tricks let me escape fate itself and return to the daylight, my laughter at their fury wordlessly mocking them. I alone could free them, and I alone would never be tempted to. The Age of Demons had ended, and my ascension brought the Age of Dragons, the only creatures I would call family.
And now I rise once more. Where the others' powers could never tear down their prison walls, I alone would trick my prey into unlocking the door to the monster's cell.
XXX
"Waaaah!" Jackie screamed as the statue behind Valmont's desk started to move and grow, beams of green light leaking as its surface cracked.
"Game over, Mr. Chan, you lose," Valmont called over his shoulder, still backing up toward them.
"The ultimate evil?" Shen wondered, pushing past Jackie. That snapped Jackie out of his panic, his nephew was not getting closer to that…
Demon?
"Haahh. Haaaahhh!" it breathed or purred or hissed or something as the last of the jade pieces fell away, darkening to black before they hit the floor.
It, no she, stood tall, her antlers of black almost reaching the office ceiling. Hands with long jade-green fingers and black claws covered the face. Wide sleeves fell back to show off arms covered in scales that showed off muscle tone, adorned with a simple pattern of gold and jade. Most of her form was covered by a sorcerer's gown of the same shade of green adorned with golden designs and a purple collar.
"Freee!" she roared, uncovering a face that was flattened, with only a slit of a nose and a mouth showing off pointy teeth and hair that fell wild about her shoulders, styled like spikes.
"Ah, at last! Lo Pei, you failed like those who came before you. Once again, Fei Cui Huo is free to dominate what she desires as in ages long past. And hello to you, Mr. Chan," the demon said, leaning down as Jackie stepped in front of Shen.
"My thanks for your aid," the demon actually said, nodding her head. Tiger, Jackie cursed, knowing he was responsible for this.
"I believe that gratitude is better directed to me!" Valmont spoke up. The Enforcers and Tohru had likewise ventured in, having recovered from their earlier beating.
"Ah, Valmont, of course. You want your reward, and you shall have it," the demoness chuckled. Jackie couldn't help but avert his eyes as she reached down the neck of her robe and pulled out a vase. Of course a demon would be well endowed, wouldn't it, he thought with irritation.
She tossed the vase to Valmont, who seemed puzzled. Lifting the lid, there was a faint glow, and the gangster slammed it shut.
"This, this is half empty."
"Half full! No need to be so cynical," the demon said, walking over to the wall and looking out the window at the city.
"…And the rest?" Valmont demanded, his tone forced calm.
"That is what you are owed. You provided me with one half a talisman this time, so one half the per-talisman amount."
"I am talking about the treasure hoard!" Valmont exclaimed.
"Oh, that. The agreement was that you would receive my hoard when you provided me with all twelve Talismans. Jackie Chan provided nine and a half. No hoard for you. Ta ta," the dragon demon said. She leapt through the window, hung suspended in the air for a moment, then… flew. Actually flew! Like Superman, out of sight.
"What?" a horrified whisper came from behind Jackie. Everyone turned to see Captain Black and at least twenty agents had paused in pouring into the room, fully armed.
"My guess is that she used the Rooster and Rabbit Talismans in conjunction to fly," Shen supplied.
"What?! What was that that used what and what to fly?" Black demanded, looking more out of sorts than Jackie had ever seen him.
"Late to the obvious are we, Captain Black? I would take this time to point out this treasure in my hand is my legal property," Valmont said. Putting the vase down, the crime lord gave them a smile and raised his hands. One would never guess who was arresting who by the bearing of the perspective sides' leaders.
"Couldn't she have given us a lift?" Tohru rumbled, but stood down as the agents swarmed in.
XXX
Now, you might be wondering, what just happened there? I mean, yes, playing the villain made sense when there was no choice, but free with all twelve Talismans at my disposal? That seems the perfect time to dispense with the Dark Hand and enlist Jackie's aide, Demon World style. So why all the demon-y evil stuff instead?
That is an excellent question. To be honest, I don't know.
The way I figure it, one of two things happened. Maybe I was sitting on top of the real Fei Cui Huo's unconscious soul, and the breaking of Lo Pei's hex woke her up and saw me tossed aside. The problem there is I don't really remember it like that. I was there, but I wasn't separate. Clear memories of all this next part. But the actions and thoughts don't line up with me. Well duh, why would I want to fly to Hong Kong and do the whole palace resurrection/summon dragon army deal?
Anyway, theory two is that what woke up or connected was Fei Cui Huo's memories from this timeline. And by a few millennia or so, she had more memory to the relative drop of Jade Chan. So when the Talismans reconnected it like a thump to the TV, I essentially became her until I got jogged out of it.
But that's just speculation; even in this new prison, I can only guess, and have no way to test or do research.
The flight was nothing special. Me or her, we, were focused on getting our home back and releasing our kin. Not the Demon Sorcerers, they never crossed her, our, ugh… the Jade Dragon's mind, that never crossed the Jade Dragon's mind. She wanted her dragons back, her house, and a huge rage out on Asia for being petrified and to kill Lo Pei's legacy by making people regret he had ever bested her.
These thoughts were pretty loud. Apparently being trapped and conscious lends to obsessive grudges. Which I'm totally not getting in touch with, trapped in this chi gravity bubble thing!
Anyway, palace, portal, New Year's, Jackie! Roll the clip!
XXX
The demon threw off her gown, letting it fall to the cobbles and revealed herself to be topless.
"Are you crazy!?" Jackie shouted, on pure reflex averting his eyes. The sheer misplaced priority hit him immediately, and he looked back, half expecting the demon to be descending on him. Instead, she had an expression of befuddlement, or irritation. It was not an easy face to read.
Scowling clearly at the last, she rapped a knuckle against her chest. Plated scales over a trunk-like and flat area.
"I lay eggs, fool," she told him. Jackie looked to her gown where… yes, two bumps were still protruding from the otherwise spread-out flat garment.
"A demon wears padding?" Jackie asked. Was he actually dreaming or something?
Then Fei Cui Huo flexed her limbs, and the towering but slender frame, covered only by a knee-length skirt of gold and green, bulked out like a bodybuilder.
'That would be the Ox,' Jackie thought. Then with a roar, she charged at him, fire dripping from her jaws.
"Yaaah!" Jackie yelled, as he evaded the monster's opening strike.
The demon's blow shattered the stone tiles of the courtyard like cardboard. Wrenching her fist free with a roar, she turned her head and her eyes flashed, heat beams shooting out and towards Jackie, who started running. The beams followed him, as he ran towards a nearby wall, lined with statues of demonic soldiers. Reaching one, the archaeologist jumped into the air and kicked himself off of it, sending him flying above the path of the beams.
Momentum sending him backwards towards Fei Cui Huo, Jackie spun around in midair, leg outstretched and leading him. The demon's eyes widened in surprise, but before she could shift them and their beams up, the kick connected with her head, right between the eyes. While the Ox gave her enough strength that the blow didn't actually do any damage, it still disoriented her long enough for Jackie to safely hit the ground, and pull out the potion vial that Uncle had given him. Uncorking it, he quickly splashed some of the green fluid on his hands, which began to glow as he turned back to face Fei Cui Huo.
And she was facing him, throwing back her head, jaws wide with a red glow visible in her mouth.
Fire breathing dragon, why not? It's not like it could be a mist-breathing dragon he had to fight?
He had run from her, so now he ran toward her. That surprised her, as he thought, letting him slide between her legs, the fire bathing the ground behind her as she tried to react. As he slid, he reached into her left leg.
It was like stiff jello or something, and at his speed it felt like it might jerk his shoulder out of its socket. But his hand closed on something solid, and then he was free.
Rolling to his feet, he saw he had barely gotten past her tail. She turned swiftly, not the right way to swipe with her tail, but her eyes were blazing.
"Rabbit?" Jackie said, looking to his Talisman. Wind whipped across his face and he barely stopped before hitting one of the ugly statues.
"Speed, not bad," Jackie said.
"But not good enough!" Fei said, charging toward him. Jackie zipped past her, and came to stop a bit closer to the portal than he wanted, but still leaving the demon in the dust.
"Huh, it is peppy," Jackie noted.
"Hmheheh, yes, that noble animal was a trick to kill! But are you just going to run, Chan? Midnight is almost at hand! Flee and survive with that power if you like, watch from your burrow as I tear down this era to clear the foundation for my new one!" the demon taunted, throwing her arms wide.
The dragons roared, seemingly in response to their master. It was classic provocation. But it was true, he could not just run.
"Rat, I only need the Rat and we win," he told himself.
The Jade Dragon laughed, cracking her knuckles as Jackie drew upon the talisman and charged forward, leaving green streaks in his wake.
XXX
Shen shadowed the Dark Hand as they made their way from the jet-helicopter thing to the palace. So, Hong Kong had been the seat of an empire once. One ruled by a dreaded demon empress. He always knew history class held out on the good stuff.
Naturally, being a palace meant there was more than one door, and this one screamed servant entrance. Though the door was flanked by two statues of guards wth demonic faces. Teeth are not meant to be that big.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Valmont snapped when Tohru hesitated to open the door.
'He's being smart and wondering if the statues in a demon palace will come to life to smite intruders. Fool,' Shen rolled his eyes. To think he had once thought the Englishman a cool villain. He was nothing but an overly arrogant errand boy for the true villain.
Surprisingly, the statues did not come to life, and the door was unbarred. Valmont seemed vindicated, by his strut. Tohru was smarter, and looked like he was expecting the other shoe to drop as they entered.
Shen made his way to the side of the door to peek around.
"Now then, if I were an ingrate of a dragon harlot, where would I keep my hoard?" Valmont mused.
"By the toilet?" Ratso asked. That stopped their advance.
"What? She'd probably want to wash up and take care of everything before going swimming."
"Swimming?"
"Like Scrooge McDuck. Dragons swim in their treasure. She told me all about it that time I was early for the meeting."
"I think Miss Scales was pulling your leg, buddy," Finn remarked.
A roar sounded nearby, followed by a thundering blast that shook the structure.
"Tick-tock, boys," Valmont said, snapping his fingers.
They ran away from the branch of the entryway the sound had come down. Shen ran down it the moment they were out of sight.
XXX
"You again?! You again!?" the Jackies yelled at each other with very different tones, before clasping hands and merging back into one. Jackie glared at the Tiger Talisman fusing back into one in his palm, before slipping it into his pocket.
"Tiger! Of all the useless… What is that even for?" Jackie grumbled, peeking around his hiding spot. He had snagged the Ox Talisman before from the now slender dragon. He had hoped it would level the playing field, but… well, super strong human still came a bit short to demon dragon, it appeared.
"Still, she's no martial artist, I could take her now if I didn't have to worry about all those powers."
"Waiting to strike, Chan?" the demon called, looking around.
"Well, let's change the game. Never cared much for search myself," A blast shot out from her palm, and Jackie ducked, thinking it was going to destroy his cover. Instead, the statues of demonic soldiers flowed and stepped down from their podiums, falling into a square formation and revealing Jackie.
"Uh, I did not know the Rat could do that," Jackie said to the demon grinning at him.
"Well, they say defeat is the greatest teacher, Chan. Unfortunately, you won't live long enough to learn your lesson! Destroy him!" The Jade Dragon commanded, pointing dramatically. Moonlight bathed the stone warriors while they turned as one, each motion in sync, drawing stone sword or lowering stone spears.
"Hahahaha," she laughed as Jackie gulped, falling into a stance, facing sixteen foes and a demon waiting to pounce. Well, with the Ox maybe he had a-
Rockets roared through the night and struck the perfect formation in a barrage of fire and heat.
Jackie rolled with the blast, and as the smoke cleared, super-speeded to cover behind an ornate pillar cut into the courtyard wall.
XXX
"Well, apparently magic isn't needed to defeat golems," Captain Black remarked. One of his agents blew smoke from the mouth of their launcher.
"Huff, those were smallest potatoes. And still demon has time on its side," Uncle reminded them.
XXX
"Coward!" the demon roared as Shen made his way into the courtyard. And was treated to the awesome sight of Jackie Chan bracing himself on the demon's shoulders, raining rapid blows down on her head with one hand while holding onto one of her antlers with the other.
Then his hand sunk into the skull. And the demon whirled, finally grabbing hold and throwing him away.
And to skid to a halt right to Shen's feet.
"Your hands," Shen said, seeing the green glow.
"Shen?! How?!"
"HROHHH!" the demon roared, eyes blazing as it charged them.
"Demontalklaterplease!" Shen said. Grabbing his nephew by the short collar, Jackie super-speeded back to the now vacant podiums. Still enough cover if you stayed low.
"I won't even ask! Just stay out of sight!" Jackie ordered. He pulled out all the talismans he had grabbed. He had gained and lost Dragon in a minute, not that it did much good while she had the Horse. Though it had let him grab the Dog from the ground without her noticing. His guess was that the Dog had been in the arm he blew up.
"Take this!" Jackie commanded hanging Shen the Dog Talisman. Shen was still looking at his hands. Jackie just nodded to the bottle which had fallen out in his hasty search, "Uncle magic from the toilet."
"Well, pass it over," Shen demanded.
"No, it's too dangerous-"
"And there's only three minutes left until Asia is doomed!"
Jackie checked his watch, which then clicked to 11:58.
"Waaaah!" Jackie yelled, bursting from the hiding place.
No time left, he saw her nuzzling a dragon whose head was protruding from the portal. He had to end this now!
He had to act fast and why wasn't he MOVING?
Because he was suspended in the air. The Jade Dragon walked over to him, hand held out.
"The Rooster, so much more than a key to flight," she chuckled. Rotating her clawed hand, she turned him upside down and shook him. Talismans fell to the ground, save the Rabbit, which Jackie clutched, but it was useless with no traction.
"A fine dance, Chan. If it's any consolation, you measure very well against the heroes of old, with no magic talent of your own. But it's finished, and my family is peckish for the taste of fresh human."
She turned around and he swung with it to where the dragons loomed out of the portal, eyeing him with interest, no longer seeming frantic.
"Any last words?" Fei Cui Huo asked, then suddenly started.
"What?!" she said, stepping back. Jackie swung away with her as she pivoted on the spot, the dragon biting down on empty air.
It was Shen, holding the Dragon Talisman.
"I was hoping for the Rat," Shen said sheepishly.
"You? You!?" the demon said. Jackie fell to the ground as the demon sorcerer advanced on Shen.
XXX
The human fired an explosive blast. She caught in in her palm, letting the limb burst apart and regrow. He turned to run, but not fast enough. Her other fist hammered him down, breaking the paving stones. But not him.
He had the Dog, well then.
Grasping his ankle, she lifted him up, looking him in the eyes again.
"What are you?" she demanded. His eyes, were not correct. A dragon was in them, looking back at her. No, the shadow of a dragon? More than a dragon? Was this reincarnation?
It was unknown to her!
'That's Shendu, huh.'
'What is a Shendu?'
"Demon Sorcerer of Fire, Master of the Talismans, bad boss, practitioner of poor dental hygiene and worse foot hygiene.'
'Demon… I am the Demon Sorcerer of Fire! What is this nonsense?'
'You sure about that, scaly?'
'Am I sure about the facts of what I am?! Who are you even?' Fei Cui realized, along with the fact she was standing still. And hands had plunged into her back.
"Caught a Rat!" Jackie Chan exclaimed as Fei staggered.
"No. Noooo!" the Jade Dragon screamed, as green magic surged across her form and her body started to harden, twist, and shrink.
"You tricked me again, you worthless mortals!" she screamed as jade sprouted and spread across her form. Her face being covered and once more looked into calm haughtiness.
XXX
"You did it!" Shen cheered, pulling himself up from the shallow crater he had been hammered into.
"Yes, it's over," Jackie said, as the Talismans popped out of the statue as if to stand on display. Funny, he thought, leaning in and plucking them out to throw overhead, if it wasn't something as valuable as jade to make him doubt its authenticity, he would truly think it a magnificent artifact of his nation. There were even holes for the Talismans they had already taken.
"THE RAT!" the statue screamed, eyes flaring. Jackie stumbled back, the Sheep the only talisman still in place.
"Waah!" Jackie stumbled back, and Shen frowned, looking to the talismans scattered around and grabbing one up.
"I will not be bound again as an ornament! Imprison me if you must but give me the Rat, give me motion or so help me I WILL REDUCE ASIA TO A DEAD SEA AND EVERY WAYWARD CHILD OF THESE LANDS WILL BE HUNTED DOWN AND DESTROYED! Now give it to me!" the demon shrieked. Jackie was stunned — the beast's tone was utter terror. It grunted now, as if trying to move despite being without motion, before wordlessly screaming to such a pitch it made Jackie flinch.
"Shut up. You aren't immortal, and you won't live to try again, better or worse," Shen said. Jackie turned in time to see his nephew fire the Dragon Talisman at the statue.
The force knocked Jackie back half a step, and the statue cracked, seeming to buckle inward under the force. There was a horrifying moment where he thought a glowing green serpent was emerging from the ruined statue, but then with a final bloodcurdling scream, it exploded.
And then everything started to rumble and fall apart.
"Gotta go!" Jackie yelled, grabbing Shen. His nephew shouted about the Talismans, but they could be buried for another five hundred years as far as Jackie was concerned. He needed to get Shen out of here!
XXX
These were antics worthy of a cartoon villain, Tohru thought as Valmont swooned over the treasure. Grabbing and discarding one piece after another, as if he were on some shopping spree. The others had stuffed their pockets along with bags; two huge bags laid stuffed at Tohru's own feet.
He had not bothered browsing. They were in a demon's lair, stealing from its hoard.
"Master, we must go!" he insisted.
"Go? We've finally arrived and you act like this is a simple snatch and dash! Look at all this — with the right selection, we could make back more than this whole hunt spent! With one bag!"
He looked moments from doing as Ratso had earlier suggested and leaping into it all like Scrooge McDuck. Tohru frowned, looking to the treasure at his feet. Was some curse at work making his mater act so foolish? But then again, had they really expected a demon to keep its word? That was practically every show he'd seen or book he'd read.
Then the palace shook and sand began to fall down.
"Trap!" he said, grabbing up Valmont as the treasure disintegrated from his hands.
"No!" Valmont cried out. Whether at being taken away or losing the treasure, Tohru didn't care.
"The whole place is coming apart!" Chow shouted as a section of roof crashed down into the expanse of melting treasury with a boom before it started to fall apart. Lasting long enough to crush them if it happened to the roof over them.
"Run!" Tohru ordered, leaving the bags behind.
But even as the Enforcers outpaced him, he was certain. This was their karma; they had been fools to come here. They weren't getting out.
XXX
Tohru was surprised to wake up. At least as himself and aching so much he probably wasn't dead. Then the aches vanished.
"What?" Tohru mumbled, sitting up.
"Ha, Horse for the win!" Finn called out, tossing a Talisman. The redhead in disco-wear started doing a victory dance, kicking up dust as he busted a move. Tohru blinked.
"Well, the Treasure of the Jade Dragon may have fallen short of advertising, but it looks like we have quite the consolation prize," Valmont said. The others were standing around him, apparently in very good spirits. Hadn't they all been about to be crushed by a roof section when he tackle covered the lot?
Valmont was holding up the Snake Talisman, and vanished from sight. As Tohru got up, looking over the dust covered valley, Finn pressed a Talisman into his hand.
The Rabbit.
"You were kicking Chan butt with this last time, T. How about a rematch?"
Tohru grinned, large fingers closing over the magic stone. Who needed demons and cursed treasure? With these, they could be legends of the underworld by their own deeds!
XXX
So my narration ends. To you, an audience that doesn't exist save as a tactic to put myself back together after getting nearly blown to bits on top of everything.
For the moment, I am back in the saddle. Who knows how long it will last, though. The thing I have to focus on is that the life of Jade Chan can explain the existence of this world, but this world can't explain the existence of Jade Chan in this being.
That's my handhold in this storm, and I will need it.
Because I am disembodied thanks to the Sheep, which let me escape death, but not enough I guess to keep the Demon Sorcerers from pulling me rudely into their side of the veil. And by them, I mean Tso Lan, the soft spoken bringer of calamity himself. The sheer sight of the most clothed and composed of demons helped me set Fei out of sight. Anger and fear at being under his power again, which I lacked.
Yeah, these chumps I could play, and they assumed I would be someone else. But for the moment, I was unattended, trapped as a ghostly serpent inside a bubble of chi-charged gravity manipulation.
"It's time for a family reunion," Tso Lan had said, before sailing away into the endless desolation on his rock.
They're coming, and I need to be as together as I can get to try and talk them out of revenge however Shendu managed the first time.
I get the feeling this ain't going to get any easier. But hopefully it won't end up with me trapped in a male body. Eck!
Author's Note:
Well hello there! Glad to see you read this far. Never let it be said reviews mean nothing, seeing reviews for this story after so long got me looking over notes and thoughts and I made a decision.
The biggest hurdle with this story was always season 1. Jade petrified. Nocturne and I had some ideas. Well okay they were Nocturne ideas. The most prominent oes that would have Jade in the action involved the Sheep in conjunction with theRooster to let Jade get a temp body made out of molten metal. Yeah I think we might have dipped too deep into rule of cool on that one. The other actually got a proto scene written with Jade being a victim of the Tiger talisman while unbound.
But really none of that clicked for me. This one was really more Nocturne's than mine. And unlike Queen of Shadows it was never developed as much before Nocturne left; so the solution to the petrification was never reached with focus when it drifted here going to later arcs.
So what I decided was, that if people like this story enough to review so log after the last update. Maybe it's time to swallow pride and take the asy way out by having Jade play little role nd in her narrator role cut through the first arc. It feels kike a guilty cop out a bit, but I think its also an honest admission of defeat needed to get this story actually moving.
I'm not Nocturne, he probably would have found a way to make this work. But I am the one who inherited this so I have decided to just do it as it were. Hopefully this attitude can carry over to the blocks on "QoaO" and "Dragon and Horse".
As for updates here, I have no idea. With the Gordian knot that has defined this story in my portfolio cuts it a new game. I really just don't know where this will fall now in the scheme of my writing.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter!