A/N: Oops, I've been forgetting my disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Do not own anything created by JK Rowling

By the time she had made it to the classroom she was out of breath, her hair mussed and her tie askew. Professor Slughorn tutted. "It just won't do to be late on your first day, miss... Desticius. That will be five points from Gryffindor. I'll let you off without a detention, since you're new, but do be on time in the future. Go on, take a seat!"

Vox slid into the only empty table, groaning and laying her head down as the boys walked in. Black slid in next to her and Potter next to Lily, looking triumphant. If I'd known I would be stuck with one of those idiots as a partner I would have sat with too-cheery-Lily. Ha, they should have called her sunflower, since she always acts so... sunny.

"What's so funny?" BLack asked as they started preparing for the lesson.

"Huh? Was I laughing? Oops." Ugh, how embarassing. I'm so pathetic. "I was just thinking, Lily Evans should have been named Sunflower since she acts so sunny..." Wow, that was lame. Why did I say that out loud? I'm so stupid. As Vox was internally beating herself up, her potions partner laughed.

"You're a little awkward, aren't you? Lame puns are great, but your delivery isn't. I suppose being unsocialized is one of the big disadvantages of home tutoring, huh?"

Vox was taken aback. "uh... yeah," she mumbled. They worked on their potion in silence for the rest of double potions. The lesson was mostly uneventful, though James Potter did get in a shouting match with the Slytherin Vox had seen them bothering earlier, Severus Snape, she learned his name was, because he wouldn't stop staring at Lily-the-sunflower. Lily then hexed him for "pretending to be a knight in shining armor when you're nothing more than a bullying git!" Working with Black hadn't been too bad, though he did almost blow up their cauldron while laughing at Potter for being scolded.

She ate alone. She hated the solitude, but she really couldn't risk having anyone get close to her. it would put them all in danger. She was in danger just by being out of her home, but she couldn't take being there any longer. She went to her dorm alone, and again slept fitfully.

Over the next few weeks she learned a lot about the people around her. The little fat boy who followed Potter and Black around, Peter Pettigrew, was horrid in all of his classes. He also rarely spoke unless he was adressed directly. He was more of a pet to the other three than an actual friend.

Severus Snape was supposed to be Lily Evans' best friend, but she's a muggle born and he was spending almost all of his time with the blood purist Slytherins. He was really good at potions, and he and Lily often worked together, when they weren't fighting.

Potter was obsessed with Lily, constantly asking her out. He and Black were inseperable. He was a bully to Snape, but considering the company he keeps while claiming to be Lily's friend, Vox couldn't really blame James for wanting to punish him. Black and Potter were really good in their classes, too. Especially in Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration. So good in the latter, in fact, that if I don't get my grades up Mcgonagall's probably going to make me ask one of them to help me. How horrifying.

Black and Potter's friend Remus Lupin gave her quite a bit to think about. He was very different from the other two, in that not only was he not loud and obnoxious, but he aslo wasn't a "bullying git" as Lily so eloquently put it. He was very polite, even to the Slytherins, and especially to the younger students. He was a Prefect, and although he did let some things his friends do slide, he held them accountable for most of their more dangerous pranks. Also, she was fairly certain that he was a werewolf.

He'd "fallen ill" just before the full moon in their first month at school, and now that it was nearing again he had begun to look a bit peaky. It would explain why he was so accepting of others, no matter their faults or status, how could someone facing such a frowned upon stigma be judging of others? If he isn't at breakfast today there will be no doubt that he is. Do his friends know? They must, they're not stupid. Well, Pettigrew might be, but I doubt he'd be kept out of the loop with as much as he stalks them.

Vox headed into the Great Hlal for breakfast, and sure enough, Remus Lupin was missing from the Gryffindor table. Taking her usual place at the end of the table, as far from the fifth years as possible, she picked at an assortment of fruit and lost herself in her thoughts. If he's a werewolf, and they know about it and accept him, perhaps it wouldn't be so wrong of me to try and make friends? There's no guarantee that anyone will find out about my condition, as long as I avoid any Legilimens and learn the glamour spell... But then, what if someone does find out? If they have ties to Death Eaters, all my hypothetical friends are in danger of being hurt in order to force my compliance... The same can be said of Dumbledore finding out though... I've heard of how manipulative he can be. I bet he wouldn't hesitate to keep any friends I have hostagte in order to compel me to work for him... Vox stood abruptly and hurried out of the hall, seeking the solace of her four poster.

From halfway down the table, a pair of grey eyes watched her go, recognition flashing across his features as he surveyed the subtle shake of her hands and te mixture of desperation and fear present in her eyes. Sirius BLack knew a panic attack when he saw one, and miss Desticius just became all the more interesting because of it.

It was the day before Halloween, and Vox had a lot of trouble staying focused. Her panic attack at breakfast hadn't been her first. It wasn't even her first since switching from her home tutoring to the very crowded Hogwarts, but it was certainly a bad one. She typically had more control than that, but they were always more difficult to deal with at this time of the year. Praying that no one had noticed her odd behavior, she spent the rest of the day doing everything she could to keep her mind, and her hands, busy. Even if that meant that she wasn't doing what she was supposed to in class. By the end of the day she had lost fifty points, earned a detention, and injured herself with a miscast spell. It wasn't all bad though, she also got an invitation to a Slug Club Party. Great, because I so love parties.

That night, Black, Potter and Pettigrew were practicing their latest idea. Peter was easily discouraged, and demanded that they go practice in the common room so that he could sleep. THey obliged, and found Vox curled up in front of the fire, apparently copying someone's notes.

Vox didn't notice the two boys come down the stairs. Until they plopped themselves down on either side of her. James laughed when she jumped, spilling her ink bottle. Sirius reached to pick it up, frowning as she flinched. "Isn't it a bit late to be doing homework, Desticius? " James teased, snatching up a stack of parchment. "Whose notes are you taking?" He continued, looking confused as he shuffled through half a dozen copies of identical information. "You know, there's a replication spell that would make this a lot easier."

Vox felt trapped. They were sitting to close. They were touching her things. They were mocking her. She could tell, of course, that Potter's tone was more curious than ridiculing, but all she could feel was humiliation, as if he had just read her diary aloud the the entire student body. Her hands began to shake as she once again tried to fight down the panic that was threatening to overwhelm her.

Sirius saw the shaking and tapped James' shoulder. "Come on, we can't work on it right now, let's just go to bed and we can try again tomorrow." James nodded distractedly, giving Vox once last curious glance. He followed Sirius up to their dorm, intending to question him on why he wasn't more curious about what the new girl was doing. Vox let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and returned to her notes.