Author Note:
Random: HELLLLLOOOO! ...I lost my train of thought...
Hiakru: ...Anyway! We are sorry this is so late! Actually we're sorry it's taking so long to update any of our stories.
Kaoru: Yup. School has been a bitch for Random.
Random: Yeah...although I recently got a offer for a full ride at a university in my state! So I'm happy! It's insane! I keep getting these letters form colleges, when I haven't even applied to them. It's a huge weight off my shoulder to know that colleges actually wan me. You have no idea...that's really the reason I'm able to write at all right now.
Hikaru: WARNINGS: Thoughts of depression, eating disorders, sexual situations. Sadness galore...not really a good chapter.
Kaoru: DISCLAIMER: NO SHE DOES NOT OWN! NEVER WILL!
Random: Okay, so! That's really it. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews/favs/alerts and thanks to Jeremy for beta-ing as always...I think that's all! ENJOY!
Kendall immediately walked out of the sound booth as soon as Gustavo let them. Being that close to James was seriously messing with his mind and body. He quickly walked to the bathroom and into an open stall. Locking the door behind him, he lowered the lid and sat on the toilet. He just needed some time to calm down and focus on not throwing up. He wasn't anorexic or had any eating disorders, (seemed like the only thing not wrong with him) but because he had eaten breakfast this morning when his body wasn't used to eating this early, along with watching James and Carlos making googly eyes at each other, had made him sick to his stomach.
He took deep, calming breaths, forcing his stomach to stay were it was. Just because he didn't have an eating disorder, didn't mean he didn't have troubled keeping the food down. When his mom disowned him, she also stopped cooking for him, only making enough to feed the guys, Katie, and herself. He ate very little during dinner, so the others would have plenty, then he only ate during dinner so no one would get suspicious. He'd never really learned to cook, and when he did, he was terrible at it, so sometimes dinner was the only meal he ate. And then that was only a little, not enough for a growing teenage boy. So like he said, when he ate breakfast today his body wasn't used to getting more than one helping of food, if that, a day. It had trouble digesting the new food. Okay so maybe he did have an eating disorder, but it wasn't of his own doing or because he thought himself fat and/or ugly, he just didn't get to eat like he normally should, and when he did it was little.
So right now he was having trouble keeping his food down.
The door to the bathroom opened and he froze. "Kendall?" He heard James call. Shit. Why was James looking for him all the sudden? He never even noticed (or cared) when he disappeared to the bathroom before.
"Yeah?" He croaked.
"Are you okay?" Why the sudden worry? Is what he really wanted to say, but then he'd give himself away.
"Yeah. Just an upset stomach. I'll be fine." He said. Hey, that was the actual truth! First time he told James something completely true in months.
"Oh…Do you ne-"
"James! I need you!" Carlos yelled, cutting off James mid sentence. There was a thud when the door to the bathroom hit the wall and then another thud as something hit the door to his stall.
Kendall looked down and saw James and Carlos' shoes. From the positions, it looked like Carlos had slammed James against the door and was most likely engaging him in a fierce kiss.
Kendall pulled his legs to his chest. Where they really going to do that with him right behind the door? A loud moan echoed through the room and in his head. It came from James. Kendall buried his head between his knees.
He didn't want to here this. Was the universe so against him, that it would force him to hear his best friend and secret love have sex against a door right in fucking front of him?
The moans from James were making his body react and breaking his already shattered heart. He wanted to cry again. James and Carlos were one of the main causes of his pain and they where about to rub their happiness in his face.
He wished he had his razor. The pain would not only distract him, but help the pain that felt like it was ripping his heart out fade, if only for a moment. But, for some odd reason, he left it at the apartment.
They both moaned this time and Kendall whimpered quietly. James had just been talking to him, he knew he was there. Kendall's shoulders shook with suppressed sobs and his eyes squeezed shut to force the tears back. He was right fucking here! Right behind the damned door! They'd not even bothered to make sure that they were alone, James even knew they weren't fucking alone.
Kendall got up, suddenly angry. He wasn't going to sit there and listen to the fucking happy-go-luck-the-world-is-sunshine's-and-rainbows couple fuck against a fucking bathroom fucking door!
He pushed against the door, but of course it didn't move. The damned fuck bunny assholes that are his supposed best friends where about to fuck against it. Now he was pissed beyond thinking limit.
He growled. "Guys, I'm right here."
He heard a squeak and the door flew open, to reveal a sheepish looking James and a confused looking Carlos. "Sorry, dude. Forgot you were there." James laughed nervously.
And just like that, with that one simple sentence, all his anger was gone, replaced by the deep depression he's been in for months. But now he had the words 'Forgot you were there' to add on to it. Of course he did, because no one cared.
Kendall averted his eyes and walked past. "S'Fine." He mumbled. "I'll distract Gustavo so you can finish. H-Have fun." He said, mentally slapping himself for letting his voice waver. Hopefully they didn't hear it.
"Kendall…is there something wrong?" They said, in perfect sync. They all used to be like that, in perfect sync, but now he was the outcast. He didn't know them or himself any more.
Kendall turned around and smiled. "Yeah…just annoyed about dealing with Gustavo. I'll hold him off as long as I can, so make it quick." And he would, because despite the self-loathing and hatred they seem to cause him, he never blamed them for it. When it came down to it, it wasn't their fault. He was screwed up to begin with.
With one last forced smile he left the bathroom to do as he said, missing the concerned looks James and Carlos gave each other as he left.
Random: Yup...that just happened. Am I making this to over the top? I'm not really good a t writing angst and I just don't feel like I'm doing a good job on this story.
Hikaru: You're a terrible person.
Random: *Glare* I do this because I love him!
Kaoru: *Sighs* And there they go.
Random and Hikaru: *Starts bickering*
Kaoru: Yeah so she's really insecure about this story. And it breaks here heart to write this. So it's be wonderful if you reviewed and told her how much you hate it! Because she is a terrible person for putting Kendy threw this.
Random: *Has Hikaru in head lock* Okay maybe I am...but...I don't know. Review pwease?
Random and Twins: Until next time! Peaceness!