Chapter Three

"Hey, Lou Fa!" Lavi said loudly, walking over and sitting down next to the scientist. Lou Fa looked over at him and smiled politely.

"You're Bookman's apprentice, right? What was your name again?"

"Just call me Lavi!" Lavi said brightly, grinning stupidly.

"Mr. Lavi. I-I have a question… How long have Mr. Walker and Miss Lee been dating?" Lou Fa whispered, blushing deeply at her own question. Lavi stared at her blankly for a moment, and then started to laugh hysterically.

"Geez, no need to be so formal! Just Lavi is fine. But Allen and Lenalee aren't dating… Not yet, anyhow."

"I knew I didn't have a chance. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. It was dumb of me…" Lou Fa said miserably, looking about ready to cry. Lavi sighed, and muttered to himself. "Why does Allen have all the luck with the women? He's got Road, Lenalee, and Lou Fa chasing him." To Lou Fa, though, he smiled sympathetically and said, "Allen probably just hasn't noticed how you feel. You should tell him. What's the worst that can happen, right?"

"The worst?" Lou Fa said, getting a distant gaze in her eye, imagining herself humiliated in front of the whole Order after confessing to Allen in what was quite possibly the biggest overreaction ever. Lavi sweatdropped at this.

"Wow. You have quite an imagination. Between your fantasies… Or nightmares… And Allen's appetite, you two might go well together… Allen seems to have a talent for attracting weird girls… Between you and that Road Kamelot…" Lavi said loudly, causing Lou Fa to turn crimson.

"I am not weird! You are such a jerk!" She cried loudly, standing up and slamming her tray back down on the table, running off, causing half the Order to stare at Lavi as if wondering what he could possibly have done to upset her so much. After a moment, Lavi was smacked over the head by a metal tray.

"OW!"

"You have all the social grace of a goat!" Came bookman's critical voice from behind him.

Lenalee sat down next to them, snorting angrily, causing Lavi and Bookman to look up.

"Are you alright, Miss Lee? You seem distressed."

"Allen-kun was just being a jerk…"

"Isn't he always?" Lavi said jokingly, earning a slap from Lenalee.

"Shut up! He just did what he thought was right!"

"So, which is it? Was he being a jerk, or doing what he thought was right?" Lavi asked, raising an eyebrow, wondering how she could possibly be criticizing him and defending him at the same time.

"Both! … N-neither! … Shut up!… None of your business!" She shouted in rapid succession, abandoning her tray as well and storming off.

"Well that cleared things right up…" Lavi said blankly.

"You are in love with her, aren't you?" Bookman asked bluntly. Lavi gasped, causing him to inhale the food that he was eating.

"Wh-what are you talking about!"

"Miss Lee. You love her. I can see it when you look at her. I gave it time in the hope that you would get over it, but I now see that it isn't that you won't. It's that you can't, isn't it? As long as you and she are in such close proximity, she will always be an object of affection for you. I've already arranged it with Komui. We're leaving at the end of the week. Do not argue. There is no discussion to be had. Do not recommend alternate choices, because I assure you that there are none. We were never exorcists to begin with. We merely allied ourselves temporarily with the Order so that we could see this important, but secret chapter in history through to the end of it. However, we will have to find some other way to do that."

"You aren't being fair! How did you expect me not to become attached! We've been here for three years! I've worked closely with these people. I've risked my life for them. They've risked their lives for me! And they did the same for you as well! How can you possibly be so callous! Does their sacrifice mean nothing to you! Yu gave up his life to protect the Order! He DIED! Do you not care at all!"

"As hard as this must be for you to understand, I don't care. These people are as fleeting and ephemeral as a gust of wind, and every bit as unimportant. Ink on paper. They only mean as much as the role they play in making history. The Noah, the Earl, the Exorcists, civilians, soldiers. They all die. It doesn't matter if they appear to be immortal like the Noah. You have witnessed it, yourself. I have been doing this my entire life, and my resolve has been tested numerous times. Now that I'm old and gray, and ready to pass the baton to you, nothing fazes me. You want fair? Here's fair. You have two choices. Leave with me on Friday, or leave me behind on Friday. Either way, you have to leave someone behind. There are few promises in life except for death. But I promise you this. Whatever you choose, I will think no less of you." Bookman said, looking at Lavi sadly. Then, "You know, I had high hopes for you. You're smart, talented, clever, and interested in history. You learned quickly, and didn't complain about the dirty tasks. In a way, you're like the son I never had. I'll miss you when we part ways, but truth be told, I was planning on leaving soon, anyhow. I'm growing too attached to this place as well. These people, this environment… It's like home. And I could have really grown used to it. But I can't afford to. I need to continue the history, and get the notes that I've taken to some other Bookman before I die."

"Don't say that Gramps…" Lavi said sadly, tears threatening to form in his eyes. He choked them back, though, with difficulty. "You still have a long time yet."

"Don't lie, Lavi. I've lived for 90 years. That's a long time, and I'm feeling the age in my bones. I'm not as nimble as I used to be. The Innocence kept me going longer than I should have, but now that I'm giving up this job, I can foresee my end. I'll return the Innocence and leave, whether it's with or without you."

With that, Bookman stood and walked out, leaving Lavi to sit there, not wanting to talk, not ready to stand or eat. The decision that he had to make was eating away at him. Did he choose his friends at the Order, or his life as a Bookman?

Before Lavi got a chance to think much about it, though, Allen sat down next to him with twice the amount of food that he usually had, and that was saying a lot, considering he could down enough dinner for twenty people without breaking a sweat. But now, it looked like he was going to eat an entire banquet by himself. Lavi looked over at Allen and started to speak, but something about the way Allen was staring blankly at his food didn't invite conversation. Fortunately, Lavi didn't have to have a conversation with him, because next thing he knew, Lou Fa had returned and sat down on Allen's left side, staring at him dreamily. Allen looked over at her for a moment, and then smiled pleasantly. To most people, that would have been perfectly encouraging, but Lavi could tell that his smile was empty. He could only guess that something had happened between him and Lenalee in the time that they were alone. Had they broken up already? They couldn't have been together very long… Something else was bothering him about Allen, though. His face was red and streaked, like he had been crying. In all the time Lavi had known Allen, he had never cried once… The white haired exorcist was a fair deal more sensitive than Kanda, and even more sensitive than Lavi, himself… But he wasn't one to cry. Something serious must have happened between him and Lenalee to upset him that much. He listened carefully to Allen's conversation with Lou Fa.

"… r. Walker, are you alright?" Lou Fa asked shyly, blushing slightly. Allen stared at her blankly for a moment, and then nodded.

"I-I'm fine. W-why do you ask?"

"Well… Y-you look troubled."

"Do I?" Allen asked, feigning surprise, and laughing sheepishly. He was putting on a good act, but not good enough to fool Lavi, and apparently, not good enough to assuage Lou Fa's worry. "I guess I'm just a little tired…" Allen said with a smile, but also with a cold finality that almost dared Lou Fa to continue questioning him. Lou Fa took the hint and shrunk away from Allen, shivering, looking as though she was about to cry, muttering something like "I was just concerned for you." Allen didn't hear her, though, and merely turned aside and started to plow through his food, eating faster than Lavi had ever seen anyone eat, and soon, Allen was almost finished. He stopped for a moment, and Lou Fa spoke again.

"I-I should p-p-probably g-get back t-to work. They'll… be expecting me…" She said, as she scurried off.

Immediately after Lou Fa was gone, Allen felt bad about treating her so poorly. He hadn't meant to snap at her like he did. He just didn't want to answer a lot of questions. He had already angered Lenalee, and now he seemed to have angered Lavi and Lou Fa as well. Allen groaned and stood up, slouching away and back to his room. As he made his way back, he thought about his fight with Lenalee. She had really told him that she hated him. How could that be? He had no doubt that what he did was wrong. But sometimes bad things had to be done in order to accomplish what had to be accomplished. Sort of like, sometimes the ends really do justify the means. But to what degree was that so? Was it alright to kill someone if it meant saving a hundred people? What about fifty? Twenty? Ten? One? What about the individual value of the saved life in comparison to the sacrificed life? And what if it wasn't even as clear as murder? Was it alright to steal from a rich man to feed your family? What about a middle class person? A poor man? And would that pave the way for further wrongs, all in the name of the supposedly just goal that you were trying to achieve, until you had become just as wicked and debauched as the one you were trying to defeat, or overthrow? Where did it end? The slippery slope, as it were, the descent into evil. The Earl and the Noah believed that what they were doing was just. But they were still evil, and they had to be destroyed before they destroyed the world.

Allen was so absorbed in his philosophical debate with himself that he didn't even notice where he was going until he knocked Lenalee herself over, and found himself flat on his back. He shook his head hard and stood up, already apologizing before he even knew who it was to whom he was speaking.

"Ow… I-I'm really, really sorr… L-Lenalee… I ummm… I-I… Ihavetogo!" He said, slurring the last four words together, and jumping up, running off so fast that Lenalee couldn't even call to him to get him to listen for a moment. Lenalee watched him run off, then stood up and walked off miserably herself, wishing for all she was worth that she could take back what she had said to him.

"I hate you, Allen!"

How could she have said that to him? She loved him. Sure she was angry, and truth be told, she still got a little bit irked every time she thought about it. Could she talk to her brother? Would he be able to be rational? She knew he was sometimes an unreasonable person, and that he was sometimes overprotective of her, but he was a good person. Maybe she could actually talk to him.

"N-Nii-san?" Lenalee said uncertainly, closing the door of Komui's office and locking it so nobody could get in.

"Lenalee… Why on earth did you lock the door?" Komui asked, trying to smile, but betraying his nervousness with an eye twitch. Had she found out about the trap he set for Allen outside her room? The one that would only go off if one with Allen's Innocence went over her threshold.

"I-I need to talk to you. I don't want to be interrupted, and I want you not to overreact!" Lenalee said firmly. Komui was about to argue that he never overreacted. His argument was weak, though, even in his mind, and Lenalee stopped him before he could speak.

"I-I was talking to Allen-kun, earlier…"

"I knew it!" Komui screamed. "The bastard gave into his lust and… did things to my sweet, innocent Lenalee-chan!" he sobbed, hugging Lenalee tightly until she shoved him off of her.

"NO! I told you not to overreact! It was just a normal conversation! He was having a disturbing dream, and I asked him to tell me what happened between him and Road in her dream world."

"And… D-did he tell you?"

"Unfortunately. He said that Road told him that as we were, we had no chance to defeat the Earl, but that if we had certain information, that we might be able to survive. Of course, with Road, the information came at a price."

"Okay. What was the price Allen had to pay?"

"H-he had t-to sleep with her…" Lenalee said, fighting back her urge to vomit at this thought. She hated Road with a passion, even more so, now that she found out what she had done to Allen.

"My, that is serious. For an exorcist to sleep with a Noah. If Rouvellier found out, he would surely have Allen executed, regardless of the fact that he believed him to be the Heart."

"Exactly, but apparently, Road also said that if Allen-kun slept with her, that she would allow him to kill her, which he then did. We have the information. It was all in the five or six crates of papers that we brought back from the Noah's hideout. We gave it to the R&D Department."

"But that's not why you came to talk to me, is it? You had a fight with Allen, didn't you?"

"Y-yeah. I-I said something really horrible to him, and just now, we ran into each other, and he didn't even talk to me… H-he just… ran off, looking like he had been stabbed through the heart. Allen-kun is an extremely resilient person. He's strong, kind, and gentle… But I'm afraid that I really hurt him this time when I told him that I hated him."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Do you hate him?" Komui asked gently. Lenalee shook her head violently.

"O-of course not! I could never hate him! I-I was just angry, and I spoke before I could think about what I was saying!"

"Yes. People often say things in haste when they're angry. Things that they later regret, but that they can no longer take back. Even if you can't take back what you said, you still have to try to set things right."

"Okay. Just promise me you'll get rid of that trap you have in my doorway."

"Never! I'll never let that squid, Allen into my precious Lenalee-chan's bedroom! Who knows what kind of horrible things he'd do to you!" Komui sobbed, clutching Lenalee tightly. After a moment, Lenalee shoved him off of her and stormed away.