Disclaimer: Victorious. I don't even wanna say anything else.

Beck rolls off me, panting. He lies beside me, planting a gentle kiss on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" He says softly, propping his head up with a hand and studying me.

I frown. "Yeah. Why?"

He shrugs, smiling. "You just seemed... distracted."

I kiss him gently to reassure him, but the truth is... I was distracted. Even as he pushed inside me while I made all the right sounds, I wasn't really there. Because sleeping with Beck... it's not the same as it used to be. It's missing something. He's as kind and caring as he's always been, doing his best to make me come... but it wasn't the same. There was no passion, no fire. We don't fuck, we make love.

It frustrates me, and I get up off the bed, picking my clothes up from where they're scattered on his trailer floor. Beck watches me, a concerned look on his face. "Where are you going?"

I shrug, pulling my underwear on. "I don't know. Home."

Beck sits up, frowning. I go over to him, giving him a light kiss, and he cups my cheek with his hand, staring into my eyes. "Where are you?"

I shrug out of his grip, forcing a smile. "I'm here. I'm just... tired."

Beck sighs, letting me go. "You could always sleep here."

I comb my fingers through my hair, zipping my jeans and smoothing my clothes out. "You know I sleep better in my own bed." I kiss him on the forehead, a puzzled look on Beck's face. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Love you!" He calls as I leave, and I wave to him, smiling before closing the trailer door behind me. I let my shoulders slump. What's wrong with me? Beck's great... he hasn't changed a bit, so why am I having to fake so much?

I check my phone as I walk to my car. Nine pm. I dial Cat's number, opening the car door and climbing in. She answers on the fifth ring. "Hey Jade!"

I drum my fingers on the steering wheel. "Hey Cat. Your parents home?"

"Yeah. They're asleep."

I happen to know that Cat's room is at the opposite end of her house to her parents room. And I also happen to know that her bedroom door locks. "Meet me out front in twenty minutes."

"'Kay 'kay."

I hang up, starting the car.

I pull up outside her house, pausing for a moment as I turn the off the ignition, the engine ticking over. What am I doing? I usually go to Beck after Cat, not the other way around, but I just feel so... so restless, so unsatisfied. I'm looking for something, but I'm not sure what, only that I didn't get it from Beck. I feel annoyed, pent up... I need to vent my frustration, and Cat's an excellent relaxation tool. I sigh, climbing out of the car and heading up Cat's driveway.

Cat's sitting on her stoop, shivering a little at the cold, her face lighting up when she sees me. She's wearing a hoodie over her pyjama top, and I want nothing more than to peel it off and see her marked flesh. It'd make me feel better, and the thought makes me pause. What do I need to feel better from?

She stands as I near her, and I sketch a wave at her, rubbing my arms to warm up. She hesitates as if she's debating whether to hug me or not. She decides against it, turning and letting me into the house, leading me to her room. She locks the door behind her as I go to sit on her bed, looking around her room with distaste. It's so goddamn bright and... and flowery.

Cat turns to me, studying my face. "Are you okay?"

I hate it when people ask me that. "Sure. I'm fine." I say flatly. Fuck. I'm sick of this. I cross to where she stands near the door, reaching around her to switch the light off, leaving only the glow of her lamp. I push her back against the door, jarring her shoulders a little, and she exhales hard. I move to kiss her immediately, my lips hard on hers, my hand tangled in her hair, forcing her head back. She gasps for breath, a little furrow in her brow, but she doesn't say anything, standing motionless while I essentially rip her hoodie off impatiently. I toss it aside, grabbing the hem of her shirt while she lifts her arms obediently. I push her back against the door again, kissing her passionately, my nails raking across her lower back, making her twitch against me. I pull away from her, backing away from her. "Take off your clothes." Cat nods, looking at me with wide eyes, her hands moving to the waistband of her pyjama pants.

She's never asked about Beck. That surprised me about Cat. No, what surprised me was this whole damn thing. To find out that Cat liked this. So I guess it isn't so surprising in comparison then, that she's never asked me about Beck. It's just that Cat's always seemed like the kind of person who really cared about her friends, who'd never hurt anyone if she could avoid it. It's another reason this whole situation doesn't make sense. She likes Beck, they're friends. Huh. Maybe that's why she never asks... she doesn't want to know, doesn't want to think that she's hurting Beck, which is funny if it's true. It means she thinks more about how this would hurt him than I do. I try not to think about it, I hate feeling guilty. It's just fucking. Beck's where my heart is. I push the thought of him out of my mind, focussing on watching Cat undress. I take satisfaction in seeing the dark marks on her tanned skin, striped across her body, like some secret code written in her skin. And only I know what it means.

She stands before me naked, her hands covering herself somewhat awkwardly, and it's strangely endearing. I don't see her fully naked that often... most of our encounters are vertical, out of sudden need. I study her appreciatively before pulling off my own shirt. I still smell like Beck.

Cat tries not to stare, sneaking furtive glances, her tongue darting out over her lips. If it's rare for me to see Cat naked, it's even rarer for Cat to see me. I keep my clothes on, because I'm not the one getting fucked. She is. But tonight... tonight I wanna feel her skin against mine, feel her muscles twitch against me. I undo the button of my jeans, tugging the zip down and shimmying out of them. I keep my underwear on, moving to her and grabbing her shoulders hard, Cat whimpering as my fingers press into the bruises I've made before. She doesn't make a move to touch me; she remembers the rules, and it makes me... it makes me a little disappointed. I push her back towards her bed a little harder than I mean to, Cat scooting back on it as I follow her down. I force her legs apart brusquely with my knee, pressing it against her core, Cat's breath catching before I capture her in a kiss, taking her bottom lip into my mouth and biting down. It's still tender from where I bit her before, and I feel the flesh open, the taste of Cat's blood flooding my mouth. I'm losing control... I'm being rougher than I want, rougher than I have been, but I can't seem to rein myself in. I kiss my way down Cat's neck as she puts a hand to her lip, whimpering, and I bite down on her collarbone, leaving an imprint of my teeth, just breaking the skin. She bucks against me as I work my way down to her breasts, my tongue flicking over her nipple before I latch on. I graze my teeth over it gently before taking it between my teeth, Cat moaning loudly as I increase the pressure. I release it, Cat's hips dropping back to the bed as I move to the opposite breast, dragging my tongue over the firm flesh. Her skin tastes like strawberries... her bodywash, and I bite into the flesh of her breast, relishing it. I'm starting to feel calmer, starting to control my actions more as I get my fill of her. I frown, my fingers scraping over her ribs. I was too rough because I was too eager. I... I missed this, I'd wanted this more than I'd acknowledged, even though it's only been a couple of days, even though I'd just had sex with Beck.

I pause in my descent down Cat's body, raising myself off her. I can see the beginnings of tears in her eyes, her fingertips bloody, and I feel a pang of guilt. I shouldn't have bitten her that hard, not when her lip was already injured. But she still hasn't asked me to stop. I pull her hand away, brushing my fingertips over her bottom lip gently. "I'm okay." She says softly, and I feel a rush of relief. It was stupid though. Even though she likes me hurting her, there has to be a limit. I set one for myself, and I just crossed it because I was too fucking eager. I take a deep breath. She's okay. My fingers brush the raised bitemark I've left on her breast, before tracing the curvature of the firm flesh. There's something about them I love.

I move my knee against her, brushing over her teasingly while Cat gasps. I can feel how wet she is already, and I resume my path down her body, moving my lips over the raised scratch marks I've left on her ribs. I drag my tongue along her stomach, feeling the muscles tighten in it, my hands on Cat's hips. I take a moment to kiss my way along her inner thigh, feeling it tremble underneath my lips. She's so vulnerable. I bring my tongue to her centre impatiently, the taste of her replacing the metallic tang of blood in my mouth. Cat moans softly, fighting to stop her hips from pushing into me. I find her clit, flicking over the sensitive nub with my tongue, Cat bucking despite herself. This... this is one area where you can't be rough, so I tighten my hands on her, holding her still, and carefully graze the hardened bud with my teeth, Cat shivering. I keep going, sucking lightly as Cat's moans grow louder, but... something doesn't feel right. I keep wondering, as I have been lately, what it'd be like. When I let her kiss me before, when I kissed her back, softly and gently... sincerely, it just made those thoughts of what it'd be like to fuck her that way even stronger. It's all I can think about; what would it be like?

I exhale in frustration, pulling away from her and swiping a hand across my mouth. It's driving me crazy. What would it be like? I wonder, what would it be like? Just over and over again, throbbing through my head. I can't take it anymore. I rest my hand on Cat's stomach, lying half on top of her. Her face is flushed, her breathing uneven, and she's looking at me curiously, wondering why I've stopped. "Cat... can I... can I try something?"

She tilts her head at my tone, nodding, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. This isn't right. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be changing what this is, but it's driving me insane. I have to know what it's like.

I bring my lips to hers hesitantly, kissing her gently, closing my eyes tight. It takes her a moment to respond, surprised by it. I've never kissed her like this, never instigated anything like this. It's only ever been her. It... it makes me feel vulnerable, kissing her slowly, softly, taking my time, and I notice, for the first time, how soft her lips are, how sweet they are. How satisfying it feels to kiss her, and it makes my heart beat strangely, different to when I kiss her hard. When I kiss her, when I slam her into a wall and anchor my lips to hers, my heart beats hard in my chest, strong beats that pound through my body... but kissing her like this... my heart feels like it's shaking in my chest, a tremor running through me. I bring a hand to her face, my fingertips stroking over her cheek, and Cat makes a soft sound I've never heard before. I know it must still hurt her, to even kiss me at all, but she tilts her head, leaning up into me, deepening the kiss without changing it's softness. I pull away from her for a moment, my breath more unsteady than it ever has been. I'm not in control anymore, and the smart part of me, the rational part is begging me to stop here, because things have already changed now that I've kissed her like this. Like I love her. I look down, taking her hand from where it rests beside her and moving it onto my waist. "Y-you can touch me, if you want." Cat's eyes are wide, and when I take my hand away from hers I feel her fingers hesitate against my skin, like she's not sure if I mean it or not. I can't blame her. I've never let her touch me, and it's a bad idea to let her now. I kiss her again, shivering when she pulls me in closer, her hands skating across my back. I run my tongue over her lips, seeking permission... I've never done that before, never... never asked her. And this... this kissing her, caressing her tongue with mine, exploring her mouth in small flicks... I feel myself sink into her, and my heart and my head feel hot and heavy, filled with a liquid that makes my limbs shaky as it starts to pool in my stomach.

I break the kiss, our lips making a soft sound as they part, and I sip in a shallow breath, moving to her neck, planting gentle, deliberate kisses, and I feel Cat swallow hard, her pulse throbbing against my lips. I take a moment just to breathe before moving my hand down between her legs, resting on her inner thigh, Cat parting her legs wider willingly. My breath is matching Cat's, short, little breaths that tremor from the beating of our hearts, and the way she's looking at me... I can see she's a little scared, because this... this is real. This is sincere, and she can see that I'm breaking the rules, she can feel it changing, and it scares me too. I shouldn't be doing this, but I want to. I have to.

Cat's already so wet, and I slip my fingers into her easily, pushing slowly inside of her. Cat gasps, making a soft sound, and it makes own breath catch in my throat. She's never made sounds like this before... her moans, they're forced out by necessity, her breath gasped because she can barely breathe from sensation... but these? These little hiccups in her breathing, the soft little noises that tear at me... they're intimate... they're private. I curl my fingers inside her, stroking against her tight walls, Cat shuddering against me, and I'm pressed against her so tight, my skin against hers. I can feel every beat of her heart, every unsteady breath, every tensing of her muscles as pleasure trickles through her. I feel like I'm falling apart, panting against her throat, my lips tracing over her jawline.

I'd never felt that bad about fucking Cat. It was just fucking. I didn't feel like I was cheating on Beck, not really. I mean, I kissed her, I fucked her, but it didn't mean anything. I never let her touch me. It was just some physical thing that I enjoyed, that I was hooked on. It was an addiction I justified feeding. But I feel bad about this. This isn't just fucking... it's not fucking at all. The word's too harsh for what this is. I'm cheating on Beck. This means something.

I feel Cat start to tense, her grip tightening on me, and I stroke faster inside of her, in a spot I know she likes, her hips twitching against me. She exhales hard, and I know she's close, and then she's tilting my head up to her, her fingers under my chin. She kisses me softly, tenderly before she has to break away, pushed over the verge, and she's almost sobbing against my lips, clenching tight around my fingers as she comes.

I feel like something's broken in me, some vial that's shattered and gushed this thick fluid into my lungs that makes it so hard to breathe. I had to know. I had to know what it would be like. What it would be like to fuck her like... like I was in love with her. I know. I know what's it's like now, and I wish I didn't. Because it was too easy to do, it was too easy to be gentle, and sincere, and to do the things that lovers do.

Cat's confused. I'm still lying here, my arm is still draped over her stomach, my head still nestled into the crook between her neck and shoulder. I'm not getting up, I'm not pulling my clothes back on, I'm not saying a brusque goodbye. I'm not leaving her.

I shouldn't have done this. It's not something I can undo, and it's changed everything, because I can't pretend. I know now. It's not just fucking. It means something. It means everything. I've broken all the rules, and I realise why I made them in the first place. I didn't want this to happen, but it's happened anyway. I can't pretend I didn't feel something, that my heart didn't beat faster, that my breath didn't catch, that I didn't feel this thing run down my spine like a cold finger. I feel something for Cat, and it's become stronger than what I feel for Beck. Even while I tried to deny it, even while my addiction grew stronger, and I fucked her harder, bit deeper, bruised her more in an effort to prove, to prove that I couldn't do those things if I cared about her. To show that I didn't care about her, that it was just fucking, just sex. Even while I tried to deny that I felt more alive with her than I did with Beck, that sex with her, even while she didn't touch me, still made me feel more than sex with Beck. Even while Beck noticed that I was drifting away, that I was somewhere else in my mind. That I was just waiting to be done with him so I could run to Cat.

I'm sorry Beck. I'm sorry for what I'm going to do.

A/N: I enjoyed writing this entirely too much. Does this make me a bad person? I've asked that question before, and the answer remains the same: Yes, a little bit more each time.

But you know what? I'm fine with that. You never hear about good-asses, do you?

No. Only bad-asses.

There's no movie starring Will Smith called Good Boys (or Good Boys II). And you know what else? I don't want to live in a world where there is. I want my Bad Boys (and Bad Boys II), because you know what I'm gonna do? You know, when they come for you?

I'ma sit back in my fancy leather armchair, and write more smut. And then I'll have a cigar, and I don't even smoke.

Anyway. I'm still interested in writing a part in Cat's POV, so that'll be the next/last part, to tie everything in a hot, steamy bundle of... of just awesomeness.