The ride through the countryside was nerve racking to say the least. It gave Melony the cover of darkness to shield her concern and the quiet to think about the last time she had seen Matt. In reality, it had been years ago, postcards ago, and memories ago but in her heart, it was seconds ago. Tears threatened to spill as she recalled his pleas, his brown eyes bloodshot. She sucked in a deep breath as her own demons started to surface.

She blamed herself for Matt's addiction; she blamed him for her addiction. He was her crutch, her enabler because he was her addiction. She on the other hand drove him to drink and she knew and accepted this.

They pulled up to the mansion that she remembered all too well. Anxiety set in and she reached for the bottle off pills in her purse only to stop herself. She needed to come to reality with no help. Jeff shut the engine off and turned to face her placing his hand gently on her knee. "Are you sure you feel up to this? Honestly I don't know what kind of shape he's going to be in."

Mel took a deep breath and exhaled. She put a smile on her face trying to convince Jeff and herself that she was ready to walk through that door and take Matt on. Inside she was a wreck; her body was trembling as she willed her legs to move. "I'll be fine Jeff. I just hope Matt doesn't react too badly to seeing me after all this time."

"I think he'll be happy to see you both of you since he'll probably be so drunk that he'll see two of you." Shannon quipped.

Shannon was the first one out of the car and was immediately greeted by Lucas who was barking and running circles around Shannon. Jeff and Mel walked around the car and Mel bent down to pick him up. Lucas kept barking and licking her face.

"Matt?" Shannon called out figuring he wasn't too far behind as he never let Lucas outside unless he was near by. "Matt?" Shannon called again as he walked around back. The lights were on around the hot tub and music was blaring from the sound system. However, there was no sign of Matt. The song playing was the same song playing the night she left Matt. Mel remembered it quite well as she and Matt seemed to always have music playing and that particular song had been one of her favorites at the time but she hadn't listened to it since. Mel put Lucas down on the ground as Jeff made his way back around front to open the door. She followed Shannon up the steps to the deck and that's when they both noticed Matt submerged under water in the hot tub. Melony and Shannon ran up the remaining steps and Shannon jumped in the tub struggling to pull Matt out while Mel stood there motionless tears streaming down her face.

"Oh God Shannon, is he breathing?"

Shannon struggled to hold Matt's dead weight up as he checked for a pulse. "Yeah, he's just unconscious."

Mel moved into the hot tub and grabbed Matt's lower half as Shannon looped his arms under Matt's arms just as Jeff came out the back door.

"What the fuck?" Jeff let the door slam behind him as Shannon fell backwards with the weight of Matt crashing down on him. Matt let out a groan and water ran from his mouth.

"Fucking bastard passed out in the hot tub. We made it just in the nick of fucking time."

Jeff stood over Matt and without warning slapped the shit out of his older brother. Matt moaned enough to let everyone know he was alive yet totally out of it. "Help me get his dumb ass inside." Jeff grabbed Matt's arms not bothering to even lift him off the ground opting instead to drag his lifeless body across the floor.

Melony waited until the guys made it inside before she broke down in sobs. There was no amount of warning that could have prepared her for how bad off Matt was. Seeing his limp body sinking into the water was something she just couldn't get out of her head.

Her first thought was that he was dead.

Her second thought was that she wasn't ready to live her life without him.

She sat down on the edge of the hot tub and buried her head in her hands. At this point Mel was almost certain she had bitten off more than she could chew.

"Hey, you ok?" Jeff sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

She shook her head. "No." She let the tears flow as her body rocked with the sobs. Jeff tried his best to comfort her.

"Come on Mel, you're stronger than this. Matt will be fine once he sleeps it off, then we'll shape his ass up."

"I didn't know it was this bad."

"To be honest I didn't know it was either. But I think I know what set off tonight's episode."

"What?" Mel asked as she swiped away the tears.

Jeff took her hand in his and his eyes met hers. "Mel, you know if the world was right you would be my sister-in-law right now. My brother loves you. I love you. And right now, we all need you. So go on up to Matt's room and get some rest. You'll find the answers that you need."

Mel gave him a questioning glance but shrugged it off as Jeff being Jeff. "Are you and Shannon going to stay with Matt?"

"Yeah, we're going to clean up the mess and try to rid the house of all alcohol. It's not going to be easy the next few days but hopefully we'll manage to accomplish something."

Mel stood up to leave but not before she gave Jeff a hug. "I'm sorry Jeff. I know this is hard on you. I have some things to figure out but I promise I won't leave here until I know he's ok."

"I know. Now go get some rest." Jeff kissed her on the cheek and watched her walk into the kitchen and up the stairs. He felt bad for sending her blindly into the mess Matt had left in his bedroom but he knew it was the only way to get her to realize the main thing that sent Matt into this tailspin. Sure, his injury was part of it but with the injury matt had too much time on his hands. Too much, time to think and wallow in self-pity. Matt needed her and she needed him too bad Jeff was the only one to see this.

-------------------------------

Melony wished she had gotten her luggage out of the car but she had enough stuff in her carryon to last her until the morning. All she wanted to do now was take a shower and try to erase the image of Matt from her mind. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why Jeff was sending her to Matt's room when she would feel more comfortable in one of the guest rooms. She made it to the top of the stairs and opened the first door on the left and it was just as she remembered it. Matt's bedroom painted a dark red with all sorts of crosses adorning the wall. Including the one she had sent him last Christmas. The room was a mess. Empty beer and vodka bottles littered the floor and then she spotted the letters, cards, photographs and other memorabilia scattered across the bed. She sat down and picked up a picture lying on top. It was the same picture Matt had held in his hands just a few hours earlier.

A smile spread across her face but quickly faded. She gathered up the stuff and replaced it in the shoebox. She then proceeded to pick up the empty bottles, dirty clothes and empty food wrappers. Mel collapsed on the bed deciding to put the shower off until the morning. She fell into a fitful sleep riddled with nightmares. When she finally awoke, the sun was set high in the sky indicating it was at least noon. She sat up on the bed only to find Shannon quietly rummaging threw Matt's dresser. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't wake me. How's Matt?"

Shannon shook his head. "He's sober but being a complete and total ass."

"Does he know I'm here?"

"No."

She removed the covers and got out of bed. "This is fucked up all the way around Shannon. Matt is fucked up. I'm fucked up and you guys are fucked up for not telling him."

"Mel you don't know the half of how fucked up things are. Matt didn't pass out last night by accident. He knew what he was doing."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

Shannon walked towards the door and stopped short. "He tried to kill himself."

"What are you talking about?"

"He mixed vodka, beer, pain killers and sleeping pills while he was in the hot tub. He knew he was going to pass out if not die. So he thought the drowning would finish him off."

Mel couldn't believe what she was hearing and she wasn't sure how to respond. So she was thankful when Shannon left the room saying that they were about to order lunch.

"I'll be down in a minute." Once he left the room, she jumped in the shower and let the hot water pound against her flesh. She turned off the water and opened the window. She was suffocating and the walls were closing in on her. She reached for the bottle of pills and felt like such a hypocrite. She popped two of them in her mouth and took a sip from her water bottle. Some people thought of anxiety as an excuse to pop pills and she was one of those people until she started experiencing attacks.

She carefully applied her make up and pulled her still damp hair up in a clip. She tried to shake away her nerves as she pulled on a simple t-shirt and jeans. She slipped on a pair of flip-flops and headed back into Matt's bedroom where Jeff was waiting. His eyes were bloodshot and she knew he hadn't slept all night. She felt a pang of guilt but more anger than anything. Jeff sat on the edge of the bed. "We ordered pasta, salads and sandwiches from the little Greek restaurant that you use to love."

"Thanks Jeff." She paused before straightening her spine and walking towards the door. "So you guys want to hide out or do you want to be there for the showdown."

"I'm going to hang out up here for a while. I just don't have the strength to deal with this right now. Last night, Matt was going on and on about life and how it had ended for him. I can't stand to see my big brother like this Mel. You're the only one that I can trust. Please help him. Make him see what's he's doing to himself and the ones that love him."

Mel nodded her head. "Take a nap Jeff I've got this under control. I'll wake you if I need you." A silence settled between them, as they seemingly understood. Jeff laid his head on the pillow and Melony threw the wool comforter over him and turned the light out as she headed out the door shutting it behind her.