A/N: I am so so sorry that this is so ridiculously late. It would've been updated yesterday but the two little boys that I was supposed to babysit somehow turned into two little boys, five little girls and a teething baby. What am I a daycare?

Georgia vs. South Carolina last night and apparently everyone needed me to babysit. Hooray for football season! B/c there's nothing I love more than babysitting until 12:30. Oh well. At least Georgia won.

I do not own Xenosaga or its characters or a daycare. (Thank goodness)

"When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough." - Maurice Maeterlinck

Abnormally Attracted To Sin
Chapter 3
Allow

"I can't stand that guy."

Albedo looked up from his musings. "Who?"

Virgil's head motioned over to the "guy" he was referring to.

Albedo turned around and studied him a moment before facing Virgil. "Greed?"

"Is that what you call him?"

Albedo nodded.

"You've got a thing for nicknames, huh?"

"Only if they sting, Addict."

Behind his mask Virgil found the room to grin. "You really are a bastard."

Albedo shrugged apathetically.

"Well I don't like Greed as you put it. He pisses me off."

There were both quiet for a while before Virgil said irritably, "Well?"

"Well," Albedo responded.

"Aren't you going to ask why?"

Albedo, upset that he was being disturbed from his very important thoughts, just decided to go along with whatever Virgil wanted. If it would get him to leave him alone then what could it hurt?

"What is it then, Addict? Tell me your reason."

"He just stands there all day, staring down at that cyborg he's so damn fond of. Have you tried to talk to him? All he does is mutter 'Jan Sauer' in that creepy drawn-out way he talks."

"I do not try to talk to anyone. I believe that you are the only of us who wishes to converse."

"Well excuse me!" Virgil said, throwing up his arms. "I guess I'm the only one of us who remembers what it feels like to be human."

"Perhaps you were the only one who was to begin with."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you wish for it to mean?"

"You are the most infuriating person..."

Albedo shifted a little and sighed, "Greed isn't going to talk to you. Power is the only thing he understands. You, Addict, are not strong enough to gain his attention."

Virgil took great offense to that and was about to show Albedo how offended he was just as the White Testament stood up and moved away. It wasn't an evasive motion and the fact that Albedo had just happened to move at that time pissed the Blue Testament off even more. A secret smile flashed underneath Albedo's mask. That's why he liked Virgil. There was so much meaningless anger inside him and it was so easy to bring about that it took almost nothing. 'A good substitute', he decided.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Virgil snapped. "Isn't that brother of yours a little lonely?"

Albedo paused, waiting to see if whatever his fellow Testament said would warrant his own anger.

"I think he's sleeping."

Albedo took a moment to decide if the tone deserved punishment. After realizing that Virgil was probably hoping he would get angry Albedo sighed.

"I do not wish for Rubedo to die and his injury requires he rest." He stared down at the numbers on the palm of his hand. "I'll allow him this one."

He remembered. He remembered everything and could replay it back, speak every line of it if he felt the need. Remembering wasn't the problem. Forgetting was.

And forgetting brought back memories. Trying to bury an instant away only seemed to make it more real as if the fact that it was disturbing enough to hide made set it into motion to play as if his memory were a vid he'd watched over and over.

"Not bad," Albedo had said. Jr. remembered thinking how unusual it was to hear him talk that way. He sounded so calm despite the fact that the space around them was collapsing and that his ridiculous notions of higher planes, rotten scaffoldings, and non-existent holidays were simply illusions. Albedo lived in a world of delusion though. None of it mattered and in reality it had just been coercion. Effective coercion.
"Not bad, Rubedo."
And he remembered too how in some strange way he wanted to ask Albedo if he was ok. Maybe it was out of habit; a natural reaction to seeing someone hurt or in pain. He had almost voiced the question too, but all that would come out was:

"Albedo...you're..."

"Rubedo, admit it. You enjoyed that, didn't you?" Albedo asked and Jr. distinctly remembered how tired he
sounded. Almost weak.

"Yeah. It was fun." He answered unthinkingly. It was almost like he wasn't even talking aloud. The words just happened. "My blood danced in my veins. We really are nothing more than instruments of war."

He answered again without thought because for some reason none of this seemed real. It wasn't. It couldn't be. Albedo wasn't weak. Albedo wasn't peaceful. Albedo was insane, he was sick. He was invincible, immortal, indestructible and no matter what Jr. or anyone else did he was still going to be alive. Jr. watched as the mass constricting his twin's body vanished and released him. Albedo stumbled awkwardly down the shallow steps, falling down at the foot of them. His left elbow was propped on his left knee and his right flat against the ground. His head hung heavily as if gravity were pulling viciously down on his figure. He seemed ill but that was ridiculous.

"No, that's not it." Albedo said, his voice still heavy. "We're not foolish because we're tools. It's because we're men."

Jr. remembered thinking that that statement had actually made sense. Men hungered for conquest. Men hungered for strength, power, submission of their enemies. Jr. also remembered thinking then that maybe even in truth that didn't fit this situation. He stared at his twin for a few moments before shaking his head.

No, because we're boys. Jr. sent. It's because we're boys, brothers.

Brothers fought all the time and isn't that what this was? Just another fight, another argument. Things would go back to normal. Jr. would go back to the Durandal and Albedo would pull some sort of magnificent escape back to where ever the hell he had sprung up from. Come to think of it, this was probably just a dream. He'd wake up in his room or in the Durandal's park area where he had fallen asleep after Shion had left. She would come back and find him there, wake him up. Or maybe it would be Mary instead, or Shelley, chaos, MOMO, someone. He'd wake up and have to fight Albedo for real. This was just a silly dream. Practice. Another one of Albedo's mind tricks. Simple link manipulation. The slow way the mass around him shifted, the strange slow-motion affect all of this was having upon him was only more proof, more evidence that this was fake. There was no need for any of this because none of it was real. There was no need for worry. No time to ponder about Heaven or Hell, Nirvana or Oblivion because Albedo wasn't going anywhere outside this domain. This was just another childish episode. They were boys, still boys.

"Oblivion, huh?" Albedo had said and suddenly gravity lessened. The younger twin raised a hand up as if to inspect it. "I guess you might say this is a kind of release."

Then Jr. remembered how his world had shattered and how everything seem to speed up. How reality slammed into him so fast it was almost dizzying. Albedo was fading.

"At least I won't have to fear losing anyone anymore."

"Albedo?"

Jr. had fallen onto the floor in front of him, staring at the transparent limb. Albedo dropped the arm back into the place it had been before and Jr. would never forget the way he looked at him. It was so warm and his voice so gentle but a mocking kind of gentle as if in an attempt to hide emotions.

"What's that face?" Albedo asked, and he almost smiled, "You look like you've just lost your best friend, Rubedo."

And something inside him snapped, broke apart, died. He could almost hear the resounding crack in his chest.

"You bastard! You knew all along!"

He knew he was crying and for once didn't care. Albedo was dying. He'd planned this, he'd known that Jr. would lose control. He'd known he was no match for the Red Dragon and Jr. had played right into Albedo's hand. And now he'd...now he'd...

"Don't be ridiculous." Albedo said, keeping up his act. "I...I can't stand you or Nigredo."

Jr. remembered feeling like he couldn't trust his voice. It would crack like the pain in his chest. So he sent it, pulling forcefully on the invisible string that connected their thoughts.

Liar! You're a fucking liar! That's all you ever do! Tell me the truth for once! Albedo...You can't go...I won't let you!

Rubedo...

Jr. didn't respond. He clung to their link as if doing so would keep Albedo alive. He remembered how he suddenly couldn't hear, couldn't see, couldn't think. He remembered how he could tell Albedo was trying to talk to him, trying to tell him something but Jr. didn't care. All he cared about was holding onto him, onto his mind and keeping him there. And he remembered how he couldn't let go.
Even as the connection was fading. Even as he mindlessly begged Albedo not to leave him.
He remembered how hard he'd tried to hold onto his connection. He remembered thinking that he should be able to stop this. He was the link master. Even if he couldn't save his body his mind would still be there. He could save him. He could reverse this stupid mistake. He could get rid of this reality. He would wake up and he would resist Albedo's words. He'd be strong enough next time and he wouldn't kill him. He'd make it work. He knew he'd be able to make work. He'd do it right next time. He'd be the brother he was always supposed to be if Albedo would just stay. If he would just stay. If he would just stay...

He snapped out of his dream violently, grabbing the gun chaos had left for him and pressing it against the person who's hand was wrapped around his arm. The barrel of his gun bit into dark fabric as he readied himself to pull the trigger.

"Well," The person beyond his blurry vision voiced. He knew instantly who it was but blinked again, wanting the image to form before he decided to relax.

"I was worried," the voice continued, "However, if your reflexes are that good then I guess it was uncalled for. Surely this injury can't be too serious."

"Gaignun," Jr. sighed, holding back the relief in his voice and monitoring his thoughts very carefully. Gaignun smiled and removed his hand away from Jr.'s arm.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jr. asked, leaning back into the bed and twirling the gun around a finger. "Aren't you supposed to be listening to some political bullshit right about now?"

"Yes," his brother answered, folding his arms across his chest. "And I would like to thank you for getting me out of it."

Jr. smirked, watching the trigger circle around the digit, creating a slight whirling noise. Gaignun watched amused, waiting for him to say something. The gun completed orbit once more before the soft click. Jr. pointed his gun playfully at Gaignun.

"I almost shot you."

"Yes. I was there when it almost happened."

"Think you could've warned me first?" Jr. pointed to his head. "You know, how about a little knock? We're only telepathic. It's not as if you can't read my mind."

"I wasn't sure how serious the injury was, Jr. I might have made it worse."

"But scaring the hell out of me was better? You. Almost. Died."

Gaignun shook his head and sighed. "You could have died. How are you feeling, Jr.?"

"How are you feeling, Gaignun?"

"Jr.," he chuckled, "I'm very serious."

"And that's why you laughed. Nah, I'm fine." Jr. tapped his left finger against the IV in his arm. "This medicine is trying to knock me out but I won't let it."

"You were asleep when I got here," Gaignun pointed out.

"That doesn't mean I didn't fight it! I fought it like hell! It just snuck up on me like you did. Speaking of which, I still haven't gotten an apology."

"I'm sorry then, Jr." Gaignun offered. "And I'm sorry that you were injured. I am curious as to how this happened though. Care to tell me?"

"Yes I care."

"I thought as much. Afraid I'll punish you?"

Jr. laughed, "I'm not scared of you, Gaignun. Who would be?"

"Jr.," Gaignun said and Jr. knew he was in trouble by the stern tone his voice had suddenly taken. "I want to know what happened. Now."

Jr. grumbled. "I'm not a little kid."

"What happened?"

"How much do you already know?"

"Enough."

Damn. Gaignun wasn't going to give him any leeway. Jr. had a lie ready but he hadn't expected Gaignun to actually come all the way from Fifth Jerusalem to make sure he was all right so he wasn't sure how smooth it would sound. He hadn't had any time to practice it or run it by chaos so he would know how far to bend the truth. He took a deep breath, trying to appear hesitant. He kept a watch over his thoughts while he wondered if Gaignun was buying it or not. Probably not.

"Do you remember," he started with a sigh, "last month when I kept begging you to let me have a racecar but you said no because I would probably kill someone?"

Gaignun nodded.

"And you know how pissed I was because I can't just go there and sweet talk them into selling a kid one since I have such a bad reputation for well...blowing things up?"

"Yes."

"You know too then that I never listen to you, right?"

"All too well."

Jr. smiled, "Well I tricked a guy into letting me use his. You know suped up hovercars though, they're unpredicatable. Damn thing went out of control."

"You took it out of auto-pilot." Gaignun said accusingly. "No one drives manual anymore. In fact it is against the law, Jr."

"Well what the hell did you want me to do?" Jr. shot back defensively. "Auto-pilot was malfunctioning! The law also says that if a car is malfunctioning then auto-pilot can be disabled in order to avoid wrecks. We both know I'm more than capable of driving one manual and it wasn't my fault anyway. Someone rammed into me. Go talk to that guy."

Jr. waved his gun around in an exasperated fashion. "And when you're done bring him in here. I want to talk to him."

Jr. was proud of himself. Gaignun didn't have proof that he was lying. The car was totaled anyway and he seriously doubted his younger brother would go through the trouble of hiring some sort of engineer to find out if the car had in fact malfunctioned. Any other time he might have, just to watch Jr. squirm and make up other outrageous lies but he had to get back to Fifth Jerusalem. Jr. waited for some sign of defeat. A symbol that he had won.

Gaignun only grinned, grabbing a chair and pulling it close to Jr.'s bed. He sat down, back straight and stared at his older brother. After a little while Jr. couldn't take it anymore.

"What?" he snapped.

"The abandoned bridge?"

"That's where I was going to drive it. You know, play it safe so you couldn't complain."

"The area around it had fallen trees."

"What part of malfunction don't you understand?"

"Jr.," Gaignun said, "Your story is plausible and it might convince anyone else. However, there was another car found underneath one of them. Care to explain that?"

Jr.'s eyes went wide. Oh no. He'd forgotten all about Hammer's demolished hovercar. He tried to find an excuse for it but couldn't think of one fast enough. He dropped his head into the palm of his right hand and sighed.

"You were drag racing weren't you?"

"...So?"

"So? Jr., you could have seriously hurt yourself. Why must you always be so wreckless? You could have killed yourself or any one of those civilians. Do you even consider the consequences of your actions? I know I'm not here to watch every move you make but that doesn't mean you are free to do such dangerous things."

"Come on, Gaignun. I was just having fun. I've had a shitload of work since you've been gone. I finally get some free time and I'm not allowed to joy ride? I didn't hurt anyone. The only person hurt was me and I'm not even that messed up."

Jr. frowned, remembering his strange dream and the ruined hospital room. "I'll be good, alright?"

Gaignun noticed something bothering him but before he could ask what Jr. asked,

"So you came all the way home just to see how messed up I was?"

Gaignun nodded, "I was worried once I was told that it was a head injury, but as I said before it seems fine."

Jr. grinned, "So what did you tell her?"

"Her?" Gaignun asked.

"Yeah, the girl you were sleeping with at the time."

"I wasn't sleeping with anyone."

"Oh come on, don't lie to me." Jr. responded, poking at his brother playfully. "What did you tell her?"

"Jr."

"I bet she was disappointed."

"Jr., I wasn't sleeping with-"

"-Nah, on second thought I bet she thought the whole thing was sweet, right: Gaignun Kukai rushing off to see his hospitalized son?"

Gaignun smiled, "Jr., I haven't slept with anyone. Even if I had wanted to I've been to busy."

"Yeah sure, I get it. That's what we're going to tell the girls."

"No, it's the truth."

"You know what I just thought of?" Jr. asked, placing a finger against his chin and staring up at the ceiling.

"There is absolutely no telling," his brother answered.

"If you do the math then you would have had to have been fourteen when I was born."

Jr. smiled at the surprised look on Gaignun's face. Apparently he'd never taken the time to count the years. "And no one seems to care that you're such a man whore, Gaignun."

"You are my adopted son." Gaignun pointed out.

"Everyone thinks I'm your illegitimate son though and that the adoption is a cover-up."

"Then the age difference should prove them wrong."

"Or you could just be a whore, Gaignun. Yeah, that's probably more like it."

Gaignun leaned back in his chair. "I know that you are trying to avoid trouble. It isn't going to work, I'm sorry."

"And I know that you're trying to hide the fact that you're loose, Gaignun, but it looks like that isn't going to happen either."

The two of them were interrupted when the hospital door quietly slid open.

"Master Gaignun?"

"He's awake, Shelley," Gaignun answered, "You can both come in."

"They were waiting?" Jr. asked.

"We didn't want to wake you, Little Master." Shelley said softly as she entered. She looked worried over towards him, walking around Gaignun to get a closer inspection. "Master Gaignun wasn't as afraid as either of us."

"Huh. Well he should've been. I almost shot him." Jr. grinned. Shelley's eyes softened a bit.

"Little Master, how are you feeling? We've been so worried."

Jr. shrugged, "Don't worry about me, Shelley. It'll take a lot more than a car wreck to put me under."

He turned his attention back to the door, frowning."But where's Mary?"

"Surprise Lil' Master!" The blond giggled, jumping into the room. She stood up straight, both hands behind her back. An excited smile was carved on her pretty lips as she giggled and squirmed.

"I brought 'cha a present, Lil' Master!" She sang.

"Sweet! What is it?"

Jr. pushed himself up into a straighter position. "Is it my other gun? chaos won't give it back."

Mary shook her head. "Nope. I might be able to get it back for ya though. If you want."

"Later," Jr. said, waving the issue away. He held up the one he had. "I still have this one so it will have to do. Right now I want that present."

Mary nodded and giggled again. Carefully she moved what she held in her hands around to show Jr. The variant laughed when he saw what it was.

"Alby!"

The puppy barked and squirmed at the sound of Jr.'s voice, trying to get away from Mary.

"How did you sneak him in here?" Jr. asked as Mary placed him on the bed. Alby ran the line of the bed, crawling up Jr.'s chest to lick his face. Jr. laughed and patted the top of the little dog's head.

"Hey there little guy. Miss me?"

Alby responded with a bark, pulling playfully on Jr.'s hospital shirt. Jr. heard Gaignun clear his throat and stopped petting the puppy immediately.

"Alby, huh?"

The small animal's ears flicked toward the noise but he ignored Gaignun and kept biting at Jr., trying to get him to play.

"Ok, it's not what it looks like."

"How much did he cost you, Jr.?"

"He didn't cost me anything! I found him, didn't I Mary?"

Mary nodded, "It's the truth Master Gaignun. Found him runnin' 'round on the bridge."

Gaignun looked skeptical. "Is he real?"

"I'm not sure," Jr. said honestly. He pulled back from a particularly sharp bite. "Hey, quit that. You're supposed to be here to make me feel better."

Gaignun studied the animal, sure he couldn't be real. The dog's white fur and purple eyes seemed too coincidential. Though he couldn't picture Jr. specifically ordering an animal to mimic the image of his twin.

"He's cute though, right?" Jr. asked, pulling his IV away from the puppy before he could get ahold of it.

"And you were planning on telling me when?"

"When I felt like it," Jr. said. He played with the puppy for a little while longer before adding, "I'm keeping him."

"I never said you couldn't."

Jr. nodded, "I know, I beat you to it."

Gaignun shook his head. "Girls," he said suddenly. "I need to talk to Jr., could you give us a moment?"

"Certainly, Master Gaignun." Shelley said, "Come on, Mary."

Mary waved a little before following her sister back out into the hallway. The room suddenly became tense. Jr. tried to ignore it by occupying himself with Alby but it didn't work for long.

"Jr."

"No, Gaignun."

Gaignun took a deep breath and paused, trying to decide the best way to broach the topic.

"Jr., you need to talk to me."

"No."

"chaos told me what happened."

Jr. didn't stiffen or freeze at the statement as Gaignun had expected so he continued.

"You asked for him, Jr."

"...It was just a dream."

"A dream that caused you to go Red Dragon?"

"Yeah. That so hard to believe?"

"Yes," Gaignun said softly, "It is. We have had nightmares, gruesome nightmares, but nothing has ever pushed you to that point before."

"First time for everything."

"Jr."

Jr. sighed and fixed sad blue eyes on his youngest brother.

I don't want to talk about it.

"But you need to, Jr."

Please just drop it.

Alby noticed Jr.'s shift in mood and whimpered up at him. He smiled and scratched behind a white ear.

You can't just show up out of nowhere and ask something like that.

Gaignun accepted the blame Jr. was placing on him and shifted a bit uncomfortably. They'd never talked about what had happened to Albedo. They had never really needed to. Gaignun knew and Jr. had been dead set on almost pretending it never happened. When Gaignun made an effort to get Jr. to talk about it the boy would get angry and cut off contact and/or threaten the closest inanimate object. Jr. had been worrying him a lot lately and with good reason. Apparently in his absence Jr. had pulled a lot of other dangerous stunts: hoverboard down the side of the Durandal while it was still in the Foundation's port, operating a hoverchair into oncoming traffic, and most recently, drag racing. It was a wonder he hadn't killed himself. Gaignun knew why he was doing it. He was trying to distract himself, trying to keep his mind occupied. Gaignun could only do so much being so far away and certainly couldn't stop Jr. if he felt he was doing something too dangerous. It had taken everything in his power to silence Dmitri long enough for him to leave Fifth Jerusalem and he was probably going to pay for it once his father decided to spring up and fight for control again. He would have to leave soon, extremely soon whether he wanted to or not. His eyes landed on the bandage wrapped around Jr.'s head and sighed. Jr. was very good at burying negativity but this was ridiculous. He could see it slowly eating away at him like a cancer and wondered just what exactly had happened because it seemed to be spreading.

"Fine, Jr." Gaignun said, knowing he wouldn't get anything out of Jr. unless his brother offered it himself. "Just...be careful, ok?"

"I'm fine, Gaignun," Jr. sighed, annoyed by his brother's worry. "I'm a big boy now, I can take care of myself."

'I'm not so sure.' Gaignun thought to himself. Jr. caught it though and rolled his eyes.

"If I worried as much as you nothing would ever get done."

"Oh? You mean like the way you're in the hospital for 'getting something done'?"

"Exactly."

Gaignun shook his head, but allowed a small smile to grace his features. He watched the boy delicately dislodge his red hair from Alby's mouth, murmuring something about a chew toy before flashing Gaignun a smile of his own.

"Now get me the hell out of here. I want to go home."

A/N: Phew! Done. C: A little bit of Gaignun in this one but he won't be in here a lot. Hope it was worth the wait. Reviews are my muse so inspire it up people.