Chapter Two: In Which Tobias Narrowly Escapes Becoming Sisyphus In Relation To Aformentioned Ball And Acquires A Giant Rabbit (Also Jareth Gets Naked Sarah Time)

In the quiet silence of the bathroom, Jareth had sunk into contemplation upon life, comfortably lying his round head on his feathered breast. Certainly, when he first took the throne so long ago—He never expected that he would be doing this.

Off-and-on, for about eight years now he took every day he could possibly spare to be with Sarah and her motley crew, one of whom was that little brother of hers. He stayed away from her at first, after she initially defeated him—After all, he, the Goblin King was terribly busy putting the Labyrinth back to rights, busy accepting the odd runner that strayed into his realm, time filled up by herding the chickens into somewhere that wasn't in his closet, dedicating moments to pruning and encouraging the Labyrinth so that it became even more twisted and thorny than it already was...

He broke down rather embarrassingly on the mortal event of New Years: About approximately one year, three hundred days, and thirty-eight seconds later after he vowed by her very nice-looking—He meant, puny mortal bum that he wouldn't ever think about her or see her again. On that night, he gazed upon her in his bedroom mirror, vow completely forgotten in the tidal wave of his overwhelming curiosity.

In the mirror, he saw a girl who had grown a little taller, become a little stronger. Her eyes had become larger, after the first flush of youth, her hair longer. She was currently smiling softly in the way that makes every woman beautiful, even should she be ugly and unwanted— And over her shoulder was his little ex-captive, sleeping contently.

In her green eyes, there was a reflection of far-off fireworks-Exploding red, blue and yellow stars.

But even in the lit up shadow-night of the New Year, he thought, with a small shiver Though she had an abundance of shining human qualities now, there was something about her now... Something that had turned her face fey-like and strange, beyond his ken.

She turned towards the mirror of his sight, and her smile had widened into something bright instead, like a firework shining in the night.

"I miss you," She said with such heartfelt, pure earnestness; As if she were making a wish instead of merely making a statement... And though it could of been directed at anyone—Her dead father, her wastrel of a mother, her presumed missing step-mother...

It shouldn't of caught his attention, he supposed.

And yet it did.

Night after night, he began watching her with a near-obsession in the darkness of his room. He watched her attend school, take care of her brother (The little hellion, he easily rivaled Jareth himself at his age—Who on earth streaked down the most public street in the neighborhood, wearing nothing but their birthday suit screaming "MY TEACHER WANTS MY YOUNG NUBILE BODY"? He did get the teacher fired though with his efforts—Jareth was very proud.) bake cookies with her friends, offer advice to the odd transgender Goblin or two (He had some very stern talking-tos with those Goblins, Pintel and Ragetti. He blamed their behavior on that strange Jack Sparrow fellow.)

Days passed. Nights passed in much the same way.

Sarah grew even more beautiful, but rather as if she were some kind of princess in a fairytale rather than the heroine he knew her to be. Lights occasionally flickered around her in hallways, and she smiled to her fellow classmates like the Mona Lisa.

She liked to ride on trains for no explicable reason other than to herself, counting stops as she went. Sometimes Hoggle went with her, and sometimes it was her brother, sitting across from her with a book in his lap. Toby, his face emerging from the first stages of youth had grown into a mischievous imp with a sharp smile and light green eyes.

He was very clever, which Sarah encouraged. She admitted to him that she was much the same when they were the same age, both of them reading fantasy fictions and other works of similar art as well as attempting to defy logic with certain...Actions. Of course, when his knowledge was put to mischief it often caused her endless frustration. And amusement, because despite everything they were blood related and when you're a Williams, there's a way.

(And this was a very unfortunate truth that he had learned today, seeing as Tobias Williams was far more sharp than he ever had given him credit for.)

But, on the day that he saw Sarah in a thunderstorm, alone...

There was a burning, fierce joy in her expression, lighting up the very earth beneath her with the passion of it. Unlike the mysterious, half-there smiles that seemed so fey in the flickering lights of her school hallways, the smile she wore had transformed her, making her seem as if she were finally alive, and there. The thing that was missing, that night—It had come alive in her, glowing.

And as if it were a dream, Jareth knew his time had come. He gathered up a feather cloak, and vanished from the Goblin Kingdom.

He appeared before her as a barn owl, and appeared before her in the storm. The rest, as you could say, was history. (Except for some reason, he never had the courage to actually appear before her as he really was. It was easier to be her feathered friend and pet, considering their history.)

Until now.

The door creaked alarmingly, and he jumped a little, ruffling his feathers. Goodness, for being a semi-dignified, all-knowing royal monarch he was feeling very shocky. Something probably to do with that blond bishounen brat (Toby liked to read Manga online. Illegally) screaming into his face about how he, the Goblin King should jump the bones of his sister—Goodness gracious, what were they teaching children nowadays?

Jareth would of given Toby a good magical spanking for his insolence, except that he grudgingly had to admit he had a large, and rather sore point. But he did want to wait until Sarah's birthday at least before revealing himself. (Give him time to recover.)

Instead, Toby decided to shove him in the shower and make him make up for all of the lost glimpses of his naked sister he had lost over the years. By literally shoving her naked self into his face.

Not for the first time, he wondered if the Williams boy had been dropped on his head as a child.

But then when Sarah, beautiful, glorious Sarah came into the shower with nothing but a smile on her face, He decided abruptly that the child was a genius and he was going to make him his heir, faerie courts be damned. There was only so much to be said for waiting patiently as a retired villain, waiting to get the girl.

Sarah, she could say to herself with some honesty Had grown up since she left the Labyrinth. Yes, it was true she did most of her growing up in it, but for around ten years now, she had taken care of and showered affection on Hoggle, Toby and every other Labyrinth inhabitant that decided to march through her doors.

Groaning under her breath, she unbraided her hair and threw the few ties she had aside.

It wasn't as if it were without the perks, and she would sooner skin herself alive and try to defeat the Labyrinth with her hands tied and feet bound than let her self-built family go, but she had to think that things had at least, changed over the years. For instance, Toby had proved to be absolute hell to pretty much raise on her own. To be sure, he was very loving and idolizing of her (To a healthy extent! Sarah squashed out anything too dangerous before it began, or so she hoped) but he had the idea in his head to more or less squishilate (Hoggle's term, not hers) every single date she ever garnered.

And he had the reasoning that she didn't like her dates hardly ever.

Unfortunately, Sarah thought with a sigh, Toby was right. And by god, that pissed her off. It actually hurt more that he was right rather than knowing what was behind the "mysterious" accidents that always seemed to happen around her dates. Strangely, the rumors of the accidents never seemed to get around, and so she was forever fending off dates from would-be suitors.

Pulling off her shirt, she paused. The last one was a nice boy to be sure, but... He wouldn't understand. Much of anything, really—She could see it in his eyes. As far as he knew, she was a lovely young writer with pretty eyes and a nice smile who really liked the place where he worked. It was good enough for him. And she knew she wasn't ever going to be such a thing, so why bother?

Unhooking the last piece that stood between her and nudity, she let it drop to the floor and stepped in the shower with a faint grin, anticipating the heat of the water.

And for a moment, she could only stare in blank confusion.

There was her owl. In her shower. Looking oddly star-struck and hungry, like it wanted to eat mice but was too dazed to. She had jokingly named it "His Majesty," due to the oddly regal air it had-It didn't look especially regal now, ruffled as it was. Shrugging, she turned on the water to full blast. Now, she could be forgiven: She didn't normally angle the shower head the way it was currently angled, but Tobias had angled it...Differently. And within the space of a few seconds, the shower was full of angry hooting and very drenched owl.

The next few seconds were filled with even more confusion and very wet, naked Sarah and wet-and-soaked Goblin King.

There was a beat of silence, where Jareth desperately tried to keep his head and retain his dignity after being subject once again to Toby's unexpected scheming, ignoring the pounding of the spray into his scalp. He looked down at the young woman, and tried very hard not to make it obvious that he was taking advantage of his fortunate view point.

"Sarah," He said, simply. His voice was husky from years of disuse, and he inwardly frowned at himself for the sound of it.

It didn't seem to matter much, as Sarah's eyes began to gloriously soften. But then it seemed as if this reaction was not meant to be: She opened her mouth, looking quite angry.

"COME ON! WE YOUR WEATHER GIRLS AND HAVE WE GOT NEEEEWWWSS FOR YOU!" The bathroom suddenly blasted, quite literally rattling their eardrums and startling the wet couple. Unfortunately, it wasn't a big shower and the only way to move if you were in shock was forward, especially if there were two people crowding the space. Jareth had some pleasant dreams that night.

"YOU BETTER LISTEN! GET READY, ALL YOU LONELY GIRLS! AND LEAVE THOSE UMBREELLAAASS AT HOME!"

Rather awkwardly they stared at each other for the moment, utterly uncomprehending.

"IT'S RISING, BAROMETER'S GETTIN' LOWWWWWW. ACCORDING TO ALL SOURCESSS, THE STREET'S PLACE TO GOOO."

Jareth's heart was probably beating too fast for comfort, having properly realized that he had a very naked and wet Sarah pressed up against him after years of stalk-Er, guarding her. Fortunately, Sarah wasn't noticing this.

"'CAUSE TONIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME, JUST ABOUT HALF PAST TEN, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS-TO-RY-!"

"IT'S GONNA START RAINING MEEEEEEEEENNN!"

Jareth could actually feel himself growing warm with mixed emotions of embarrassment and humiliation. Yes, Wet and Naked Sarah (Capitals were ridiculously deserved) was up against him, but... "Raining Men?" He supposed Toby couldn't of found Raining Fey in time...

"IT'S RAINING MEN! HALLELUJAH! IT'S RAINING MEN! AMEN!"

Sarah was growing alarmingly red, rather like him if he felt anything in his cheeks to be true. Anger, frustration, disbelief, relief, incredulity, confusion, embarrassment-All in all, there was a ridiculous amount of emotions scattered across her face. Suddenly she cleared herself, and glared up at him.

"I'M GOING TO GO OUT, AND LET MYSELF GET A-BSOLUTE-LY SOAKING WEEEETTTTTT!"

"This was not how I pictured seeing you again, Goblin King!"

Meanwhile, as Tobias continues on his quest for true love between his sister and his feathered majesty...

"He loves her, he loves her not, wait, of course he loves her." Tobias said airily as he waited for the showering to end, tossing aside another crystal against the wall, sending it into puffs of sparkly glitter. Goodness, Magic was fun. No wonder why Jareth enjoyed it so much. But the Goblins were staring at him funny, and when Goblins start to stare at you funny, and actually exhibit signs of regularized humanity... Then you've got a problem.

"What is it, you blokes?" Tobias peered at them, and some of them gestured funny, gesturing with clawed fingers around their heads. And because these were the "children" Toby had run with when he was only a child himself, he understood them perfectly. They were of course, worried that they were going to start seeing the King's hairstyle on him. "Don't worry, Blipper. I'm far more fabulous than the King, and if Hoggle tells it correctly I don't even need peach lipgloss to substantiate my effervescent masculinity." Some of them looked quite reassured, but some of them began to gnaw on the plastic spoons he had given them earlier.

"Lady mad?" Offered a particularly thoughtful Goblin, whom Tobias personally named "Plate" when he was five, not understanding that he was really meaning the philosopher, Plat-o. But Plate was stuck, and it was mighty confusing at mealtimes.

"Why on earth don't you use her real nam-Oh, stupid question." Tobias broke himself off, looking down at them. "Nah. Well, maybe at me. Actually... She should be...Coming with angry Goblin King... Any minute now. Bye chaps, hugs and kisses and FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE I NEED YOU ALIVE AND NOT DEAD WHEN I COME BACK."

"Tobias Willaims," Sarah's voice was dark and threatening, his hair literally standing up on its ends at the sound. "I am going to kill you."

"There you have it fellows!" With that, Tobias took off into the night...From a third story window.

Hoggle was having a bad week.

He was always having a bad week when Tobias was concerned, actually. (Dramatic music in the toilets while you were trying to push out excrement, punching holes in your umbrella, endless quoting of various movies, Jackass, ((Jackass deserved it's own warning)) Throwing people out of windows calling them Chad from Accounting...)

But this time it was worse.

Because the King himself, after eight stinking years as an owl was staring at him very balefully in the living room, nursing a cookie and a hot chocolate and partaking from both. "I thought that you were supposed to be the Prince of the Bog, Dwarf." He had said, when he first entered.

"I thought you were supposed to be The Goblin King, yer feathered majesty." Hoggle said with surprising aloofness at the time, drinking from a paper cup filled with apple juice. "I decided that my duties were to watch over Sarah and the brat before they collapse yet another realm they weren't supposed to. Complaints will be directed to the Bog. It can decide if I'm an able ruler." Truthfully, Hoggle surprised himself. He had really changed quite a bit since he left the place.

His manner of speech had gotten more elaborate, for one and he was plenty less bitter about life. Love did that to you, he supposed. Sarah was his friend, and had stayed that way for a decade. Tobias was a handful, but he loved him too.

"Hurt her and you'll find yourself staked faster than you can say "Tralalala,"" Hoggle ground out eventually in the rather uncomfortable silence, causing Jareth to lift an eyebrow. "I didn't know until almost the end, but I know you watched over her. You didn't bother me and I didn't bother you. I distrusted you, but I trusted you to take care of her eventually. So, if you do hurt her..."

Hoggle leered, and Jareth looked disturbed.

"Well, the brat that got us into this mess won't be the only one of your troubles, Your Majesty."

Meanwhile in a location unknown:

"Well this is not the fashion catwalk for Alexander McQueen. Not that I particularly fancied Highland Rape." Tobias deadpanned with the utmost gravity that could belong to him in this situation, blond bob a-swinging and green eyes a-glowing. After his attempt at a flying spell out of his window that went horribly, terribly wrong, he had managed to find himself in a gigantic, breathing cave littered with bones.

(If you squinted it might be actually a catwalk for McQueen. If you squinted, and took a few snorts of fairy dust. Please don't try that at home, kids.)

Lifting up a sleeve in the darkened cafe for his inspection, he noted that he had gotten himself dirty in his attempts to escape. Which honestly didn't appeal to him very much, seeing as what he was wearing was a very dashing dark red suit that did wonders for his figure. Worse, there was dust everywhere.

Where were those little buggers when you needed them? Goblins would have been very helpful in this situation.

And now being the practical fifteen year old boy that he was (The kind that wasted all of their money on extravagant clothing and actually introduced Goblins to the glory of Jackass) he summoned a crystal, and pitched it into the darkness like a high-velocity sparkle baseball.

There was a thunk.

And out of the darkness, slowly lurching was a gigantic rabid albino rabbit with snarling incisors. It rather looked like it wanted some stylish Toby carrot for lunch while it was at it. It's mouth glistened wetly, and the breath alone was enough to give a strong man pause. But not Tobias.

Tobias fucked up that shit. He kicked that pink nose and told the rabbit "No." He slapped it for good measure and yelled into it's fluffy face. And told it exactly who gave the orders, who ripped off the tags off of mattresses, and told it to shut up and back it's shit down or by god he would whup that cotton tail so hard it wouldn't be able to squat in caves for a good fifty years. Peasant.

Yes, he actually called a gigantic white rabbit a peasant. Go figure. Despite the fact that he pissed it off in the first place.

This is the story of Toby and how he got a giant rabbit as his bitch in command-I'm just playin', he didn't make it his bitch in command.

But it was his bitch now. And now it could be used to further his glory.

He would call it Paul.