Total Drama 52

Chapter 3: Day 2: Part 1: Name's the Samey

Chris stood on the dock that night, raising his hands to the air, trying to sound excited, and ignoring Zoey, was sitting on the opposite end of the dock, looking outward longingly, crying. "Last time on Total Drama, we had all fifty-one contestants arrive… well, make that fifty-two, since someone insisted we bring back someone who no one really wanted to ever come back." Chris shook his head. "No, not Blaineley, Ella. But she's back whether we like it or not!" Chris walked across the dock. "The contestants had to race across the island to find a finish line hidden somewhere around, and that would put them into teams. The last person to cross the finish line, however, Mike, was eliminated." Chris shrugged. "But without his personalities, Mike isn't fun anymore, anyway. Like really, what ever happened to Mal? Mal made things interesting, ha ha!"

"Mike," Zoey said, then blew her nose into a tissue.

Chris looked annoyed at Zoey, then back straight into the camera. "But now, we have our three teams, and fifty-one players remaining, and we have a shocking twist for them this season, but I'm going to keep that a surprise… for now." Chris laughed his devious laugh. "So, who's going to be leaving tonight? Find out, coming up now on Total! Drama! Fifty-Two!"

Zoey slumped over, with her head directly over the water. "Mike." Chris shook his head.

Chris stood before the three teams of contestants that night, standing in front of three cabins. "Now, on that other popular reality game show, you have to build your own shelter, but the network got on our backs about that last season, something stupid about you all technically being minors." Chris looked to Blaineley. "Well, except for Grandma, of course." Blaineley glared at Chris. "So, to appease the suits, we've built cabins for you once more this season. We think they're all alike, but if they're not, don't worry, it wasn't intentional. Just meant we didn't really care when we were building them."

Confession Outhouse

Eva: (sounding angry) So right now, I'm pretty comfortable. Since I'm safe for a while, I could just let my team fend for themselves, but I don't want to do that. I'm here to show everyone that I deserve to be here, and that Bridgette is a horrible scumbag. I don't really know why Chris was so desperate to keep Ella from coming here, when he could just kick her out if she sings again. And people think I have anger issues. (Eva chuckles.)

Bridgette was lying on her stomach in the top bunk of one of the beds, looking relaxed. "I guess it's nice to be back. Maybe make some friends, maybe win five million dollars… it'll be nice."

"As long as Samey doesn't mess everything up," Staci said, sitting in another bunk. "You know her, can't do anything right." Bridgette rolled her eyes. "My great great great great uncle invented failure, you know. Before that, people were always good at everything, but Percival thought that was boring, so he made it so that some people were just plain bad at things."

"I'm pretty sure Samey was the nice one," Bridgette said.

"We don't have room for friends," Staci said. "Only the strong survive in this game. My uncle invented playing ruthless in reality games to win."

Bridgette sighed. "Let me guess: your uncle is Richard Hatch."

"It's Richmond Mulch, actually," Staci said. "You're actually the seventh person to mispronounce his name in exactly that way, though."

Eva slammed the door open to the room, walked over to Bridgette, and shoved her onto the floor, as she hopped in the bunk. "My bed!" she complained. Bridgette was on the floor, rubbing her arm in pain.

"I see you're one of those people who play to win," Staci said. "You know my uncle invented playing ruthless in reality games to win."

Eva glared at Staci. "Don't really believe you, don't really want to talk to you."

Confession Outhouse

Bridgette: I see Eva still hasn't forgotten what I did to her. Though I'm still not really sure what that was.

Eva: Like I really believe Staci's uncle is Richmond Mulch.

Samey walked into the room, and waved a nervous wave to Staci, Eva, and Bridgette, who had made her way into the top bunk of another bed. "Hi," Samey meekly said.

"Hi Samey," Bridgette said, with a warm smile. "You can bunk with me if you want."

"No she can't," Eva grumbled.

"She can if she wants to," Bridgette complained.

"Amy won't let her," Eva grumbled. "Use your brain for once."

"Oh yeah, you're the loser girl," Staci said. "Amy's so much better, and stronger, and prettier, and-"

"You're an idiot, too!" Eva yelled. "They both suck!"

Samey rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "Um… OK. I'll just… go over by Bridgette." Samey was walking over toward Bridgette, when Amy suddenly barged in.

"Samey!" Amy yelled, then went over and grabbed Samey by her ear, dragging her to another bunk bed. "You don't get to hang out with that loser!"

"You're hurting me," Samey cried. "Can you let go?"

Amy shook her head. "Then you won't learn your lesson."

Confession Outhouse

Amy: I swear, Samey's the worst. (Amy starting talking using a simpleton-esque voice.) "Ow Amy, stop hurting me. But that's not fair, Amy, I paid for this hamburger. But Amy, I don't want to go into the lion pit to wake up the lion and make it perform for you." (Amy shook her head in the palm of her hand.) It's unbelievable the crap I have to take from her. I bet no one has a worse sister than me.

Eva: Amy's a petty bitch, and Samey's a weak nobody. Don't care who's worse. Hate 'em both.

Heather: I swear, Zoey was so annoying. She wouldn't shut up about Mike, like, who cares about Mike? And Gwen and Leshawna were being all stupid and trying to comfort her, and why? Really, why? I just needed to get out of there and get my head on straight.

Samey was standing outside her cabin, looking bored. After a while, she sat down on the steps, and Amy immediately stuck her head out the window.

"No sitting down on the job!" Amy yelled, causing Samey to stand right back up. Amy stuck her head back inside. "I swear, you're the worst."

Heather was passing by, looking angry toward Samey. "What was that?"

Samey looked afraid of Heather. "Nothing, nothing, just… standing here. Enjoying the great outdoors. Heh… heh."

Heather glared at Samey, and shook her head. "That's just sad. You're pathetic, you know that, Spare Amy?"

Samey looked down in shame. "I know."

Heather rolled her eyes. "Good," Heather said, and started walking past. Samey sighed.

Confession Outhouse

Samey: Well, I guess I figured Heather would take Amy's side. It's not that surprising, really, since Heather's so mean to everyone… but really, what can I do? Amy's pretty, and smart, and athletic… and mean.

Heather: (shaking her head in the palm of her hand, then looking up) You need to stand up for yourself. If you can't even stand up against me, someone you don't even know, you'll never be able to stand up to your sister, Spare Sammi.

Ezekiel was walking past the girl's cabin, and saw Samey standing outside. Ezekiel appeared curious, and walked up to her. "What are you doing out here, eh?"

Samey pointed to the cabin behind her. "Amy's making me stand guard out here."

"You shouldn't listen to her," Ezekiel said, sounding confident. "She's just a girl, eh?"

"I'm… a girl too," Samey said, a bit confused.

"Ooh, I see, ya," Ezekiel said. "Well I think-"

"That you're dead!" Eva bellowed, slamming open the door, her face fully red, shooting daggers at Ezekiel, who gulped.

"Did I do something-" Eva grabbed Ezekiel by the neck, practically choking him.

Confession Outhouse

Ezekiel: For some reason, Eva gets upset when I talk about how guys are better than girls. I mean, they are, right? It's like she doesn't like hearing the truth, eh.

Ezekiel was walking about that night, and felt his stomach growling, and pat his stomach, and started talking to it. "You're hungry, aren't you? Better find something to fill you up with, eh?" Ezekiel saw some berries on a nearby bush, and started picking them one by one off the bush, eating them. "These are pretty good, don't you think?" Ezekiel rubbed his tummy.

Confession Outhouse

Ezekiel: (looking a bit sick, rubbing his stomach) Something isn't settling in there, eh. It was probably that stuff Chet cooked for us.

Ezekiel was walking toward his cabin, feeling sick, but leaning against the railing of the Daring Debutantes' cabin, while Dakota was heading that way.

Dakota shuddered. "Eww! Don't even look at me!" Dakota walked into the boy's side of the cabin, with Ezekiel turning confused.

Ezekiel glared at Dakota, looking upset. "Girls is so stupid."

Confession Outhouse

Ezekiel: (looking upset) Girls can be so stupid. I'm just a little sick, and Dakota's treating me like I'm turning back into a monster. And after she turned into that thing a few seasons ago, you'd think she'd be a bit more understanding, but no, treating me like crud, eh.

Dakota: (shudders) Don't really want anything to do with that sexist pig.

"You really should've seen her!" Sam exclaimed, on the guy's side of the Daring Debutante's cabin, along with the other guys except for Shawn, but also including Dakota, who was blushing. "She's a player!"

"Oh, I really wasn't that good," Dakota said. "I really had no idea what I was doing. World of Minecraft is so confusing."

"Wait, what game was this again?" Cameron asked, a bit confused.

"World of Warcraft," Sam answered. "But really, you had to be there!"

"I was kind of useless," Dakota said.

"Nah, everyone only had good things to say about you!" Sam exclaimed. "You were the most popular one on the team!"

"I bet she was," Geoff said, giving a wink as he was elbowing Sam on his side.

Confession Outhouse

Sam: Maybe Dakota wasn't the best player, but she was really getting into it. I think she liked it, and she probably can't wait for me to help her get better when we get back home.

Dakota: Well, Sam seems to like that whole World of Minecraft thing, but I didn't care much for it. And then I made the mistake of telling them that I was a girl, and… (Dakota shudders.)

"And then I got to level eight, and that's when things really got hard," Sam said, in the middle of the room, with most of the other guys in the room, except for Cameron, around him.

"Whoa, how did you get past it?" Geoff asked.

"Well, I had to take the-"

"Lightning's bored," Lightning said, looking unimpressed. "I could do that blindfolded."

"You're a gamer?" Sam asked.

"Sha-what?!" Lighting exclaimed. "I'm not talking about games. I'm talking about real life, piece of cake!"

"Mmm, piece of cake," Owen said. "I'd like some, please."

The other guys looked at Owen, a bit confused, until Lightning continued on, ignoring Owen. "But really, they look at what I can do, they make a video game out of it."

"Well, I'm trying out for the Olympics," Tyler said confidently. "I heard Sky was trying out, so I decided I should try out too. Don't want to let my talents go to waste."

"What, what, what?" Lightning said, flustered. "No, I'm trying out for the Olympics! You don't have a chance against Sha-Lightning!"

"There's more than one event," Tyler said. "Which one were you going to try out for?"

"All of them!" Lightning exclaimed, then struck a pose. "I'm going to set a record for most gold medals!"

Sam looked confused. "I'm guessing we're not talking about video games anymore."

"Lightning was never talking about video games," Lightning proclaimed, glaring at Tyler. "It's on."

Tyler looked lost. "OK?"

Dakota was lying on Sam's bed, just staring up at the ceiling, oblivious to Cameron staring at her, taking notes. Oblivious for a while, until she turned and noticed him, and looked annoyed. "What are you doing?"

"Well, you are a mutant," Cameron said. "I wanted to observe you."

"Correction, was a mutant," Dakota said. "You're kind of creeping me out, so go away."

Confession Outhouse

Cameron: I couldn't just ignore this. You don't just go from a monster one day to an ordinary human girl the next. Something was up, and I had to find out what it was.

"So what's up with Dakota?" Cameron asked Sam, joining him and the other guys.

Sam looked down at Cameron, confused. "What do you mean? She's my girlfriend, I guess."

"I'm talking about her mutation status," Cameron clarified. "Why does she appear human?"

"She's rich," Sam said. "She missed the little things in life, like fitting in cute clothing. And fitting in stores that sold cute clothing."

"But she can't be human," Cameron said. "That's impossible."

"I really don't know all the details," Sam said. "If she wants to talk to you about her procedures, that's up to her."

Cameron nodded, then slinked off over to Dakota, still lying on Sam's bed, now glaring at Cameron, as Cameron spoke. "Dakota, I-"

"No," Dakota answered.

Cameron nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "But I'd really-"

"I really do not wish to have this conversation with you," Dakota said, clearly upset. "Drop it."

Cameron nervously adjusted his glasses. "Dakota, I must insist you tell me of your procedure, and what you've done in order to get like this."

Dakota came close to grabbing Cameron by the shirt, but resisted, and simply covered her head with her pillow, and saw Sam talking to the other guys, not really noticing what was going on with herself.

Confession Outhouse

Cameron: Dakota seemed to be getting bothered by me, but I suppose that's typical of Dakota. The typical popular girl who thinks she's better than everyone else, especially now that she looks normal again. Trying to study her was frustrating.

Dakota: Is it so wrong not to want to discuss such personal matters with someone I barely know? I really wish Sam would've noticed and come to my side… I didn't really want to bother him, though. He seemed to be getting along with the other guys, and I didn't really want to hog him all to myself, but still, Cameron was really getting on my nerves.

Zoey was sitting on the steps on her side of the Courageous Glamorous Hawks' cabin that night, curled up and crying.

Confession Outhouse

Zoey: (crying lightly) I didn't even get to say goodbye. I just hadn't seen Mike in so long, that I just couldn't help myself when I saw him again, and now, he's gone because of me, and I didn't even get to say goodbye.

"You be sure to tell her!" Duncan called out back into his room, as he was exiting the cabin, though it couldn't be told who Duncan was talking to. Duncan was leaving when he saw Zoey sitting on the steps, crying. He looked around suspiciously, then sat down beside her. "Are you all right?"

Zoey looked to Duncan, still teary-eyed. "Scarlett, Heather, and Court-I mean, Scarlett and Heather kicked me out. I was bothering them."

"You can say Courtney's name," Duncan said. "We're not together. Badmouth her all you want."

"I didn't want to badmouth her," Zoey said, looking down, holding her hands together. "I don't think she likes me, though."

Duncan rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not sure she likes anyone. Except Ella, for some reason. Really don't understand that girl."

"I didn't want to bring back memories," Zoey said nervously. "I'm just… well, I miss Mike."

Duncan looked visibly disturbed at the mention of Mike, but quickly put his cocky smile back on. "You can do this without Mike. You've done it before. You're a powerhouse!"

Zoey smiled slightly. "I don't really know how I even did half of the stuff I did."

Duncan shrugged. "You're a tough player. You'll show everyone you're a force to be reckoned with."

Zoey hugged Duncan, who looked taken aback, though seemed to warm up to it quickly. "Thank you," Zoey said, crying some more, but smiling. "You're a good guy."

Duncan rolled his eyes. "No I'm not, I'm bad!"

"Oh, OK," Zoey said, looking a bit unsure, but then smiled. "Thank you for using… um, devious methods to cheer me up? For your own dastardly purposes, of course!" Zoey smiled nervously.

Duncan shrugged. "No big." Zoey hugged Duncan again.

Confession Outhouse

Zoey: Duncan can be so sweet sometimes. He wants to be this bad boy, but he's just got a really sweet side to him, too. I'm not really sure why he doesn't like that side acknowledged, really.

Duncan: (scowling) Look, I only did that because she's a strong player, and we can't afford to have her moping during the challenges. (Duncan leaned back.) Not like I care about her or anything.

"It's nice out here tonight, isn't it?" Jasmine asked, as she and Shawn were looking up at the night Sky, just sitting outside.

"At least until the zombies come and eat our brains," Shawn said. "But I won't worry about that now."

Confession Outhouse

Jasmine: I don't really get the whole zombie thing, but Shawn's gotten less paranoid about the zombie apocalypse. (Jasmine sighs.) Still, he's not completely over it.

Jasmine and Shawn could hear moaning nearby, and Shawn looked nervous. "Did you hear that?"

"I did," Jasmine said. "There's a reasonable explanation, I'm sure."

"And it's zombies!" Shawn shouted, immediately jumping to his feet, looking around. "Come on out! I'm not afraid of you!"

From behind a tree, Ezekiel stepped forth, looking greenish, and moaning.

"Zombie!" Shawn shouted, and held Jasmine back. "I knew he was a zombie! Don't worry, Jasmine, I've got this!"

Ezekiel looked in fear as Shawn leapt toward him. "Whoot are you doing?!" Ezekiel said, sounding panicked.

Confession Outhouse

Shawn: I knew it! Once a brain-dead killer zombie, always a brain-dead killer zombie! Fortunately that one wasn't too tough.

Jasmine: Does anyone know what the deal with Ezekiel was, anyway? I never really understood what happened to him.

Ezekiel: (wearing bandages, rubbing his head) Whoot just happened?

"We're safe now," Shawn said, standing triumphantly before Ezekiel, who looked like a mess. "I just hope he hasn't affected anyone else here." Shawn walked back over to Jasmine.

"We'll probably be fine. He hadn't turned anyone yet in the previous seasons." Jasmine looked over to Ezekiel. "Still, let's go find another spot." Shawn nodded, and the two of them walked off.

Confession Outhouse

Ella: The cabins look lovely, and so much nicer than the cave we had to sleep in last season. I look ever so forward to our stay!

Ella was unpacking things on the lower bunk of one of the beds as Sugar came up behind her, and Ella turned around. "Sugar! I'm really hoping we can become close this season. Would you like to share a bunk?"

"No," Sugar said, sounding offended that Ella had even asked.

"I understand," Ella said. "Friendships take time to blossom."

Sugar rolled her eyes, waving her hand behind her. "Yeah yeah, look, maybe you could sing a song about friendship or somethin'. I bet that would help make us friends right fast!"

Confession Outhouse

Sugar: Now I knew I was takin' a risk there, since for all I knew, Chris wasn't goin' to disqualify Ella this time if she was singin'. I just knew I had to hope for the best there.

Ella looked down, tearfully toward Sugar. "I really love that idea. I cannot sing, though."

Sugar feigned shock. "What? Really?"

Ella nodded. "Chris threatened to disqualify me if I sang again."

Sugar pat Ella on the back. "Aww, that's a darn shame." Sugar looked around the room, then grew a devious smirk on her face. "Look, can ya' sing just for me, please? It's just you and me, and I ain't gonna' tell anybody."

Ella smiled a warm smile. "Really? You would do that for me?"

"Well that's what friends are for!" Sugar exclaimed.

Ella smiled brightly. "You consider me a friend?"

Sugar nodded. "I'm sorry I was so mean to ya' last season. I was just jealous, 'cause you was so nice, is all."

Ella hugged Sugar, who looked uncomfortable. "This is a glorious day! I thank thee for your kindness." Ella let go, then gasped. "Hey, do you want to make it a duet? It would be so much fun!"

Sugar looked a bit panicked. "Sorry, maybe some other time." Sugar tapped on her throat. "Voice is feeling a little off today."

"I really hope it's feeling better soon," Ella said. "If you ever want to sing later, know that I'm still willing to do so."

Confession Outhouse

Ella: I know that Chris could disqualify me, but I don't care! If Sugar wanted to be my friend, I wasn't going to let that awful rule get in the way. Even if Chris finds out and gets me eliminated, at least I can go home having made peace with Sugar!

Sugar: (laughing) I can't believe how dumb she is! It was that easy to trick her into singin', and even though that was a really horrible four minutes I'll never get back, if it means getting rid of Ella, it was worth it!

The next morning, right as the sun was rising, Jasmine woke up early, sleeping in a tree near the Daring Debutantes' cabin. She leapt to the ground, then walked inside the cabin, and looked at the other girls all asleep, except for one.

Dawn had just come out of a trance-like state sitting up in her bed upon Jasmine's entrance. "Good morning," Dawn greeted. "I assume you're here for Sammi?"

Jasmine looked a bit confused, but shook her head. "Yes, sorry about that. I think I misheard you at first."

Dawn climbed out of her bed and walked over to Samey, gently trying to wake her up. "Would you like to forage?"

Samey, from what seemed like a deep sleep, woke up almost instantly. "I would love to!" Samey exclaimed, a bit too loudly, as she was met with groans from most of the other girls.

"Shut up, Samey," Amy complained, lying in her bed, not even opening her eyes. "Some of us need our beauty sleep, but I suppose you wouldn't know anything about that."

Confession Outhouse

Samey: (barely containing her excitement) I know it's silly, but I've been really looking forward to getting food with Jasmine, and I was really hoping we could still do that this time, and I'm just so… eeeiii!

Jasmine: I'm really glad Samey and I are on the same team again. She seemed to really like our little forage outings last time, so I figured I'd invite her again this season. I know Chef's cooking for us this year, but I'm not really looking forward to eating that.

"Thank you for allowing me to come with you," Dawn said cheerfully, following Jasmine and Samey. "You meet the friendliest creatures this early in the morning." Dawn set out a finger, and a butterfly landed on it, which Dawn pet. "And what's your name?" Dawn nodded as she looked at the butterfly. "Well, how about Callie? Do you like that name?" Dawn looked as if she were listening intently to the butterfly, though both Jasmine and Samey looked confused. "Callie it is, then."

The three girls, and Callie, walked forth, and met up with Shawn, who climbed down from his tree he was sleeping in, though he immediately looked nervous upon seeing Dawn. "You got Dawn?"

"She was awake, and wanted to come with us," Jasmine said, then laughed a bit. "She's not a zombie, if that's what you're worried about."

"Of course not," Shawn said, then laughed nervously. Dawn looked puzzled.

Confession Outhouse

Dawn: I'm used to it, really. As paranoid as Shawn seemed to be last season, I really shouldn't be surprised that I scare him. It does hurt, though.

"Amy doesn't really let me go out," Samey said, picking some berries, talking to Jasmine and Shawn, while Dawn was picking berries with Callie a short distance away. "If I went out, and there was an emergency, she says I couldn't act as fast."

"We're not going to let her get away with that," Jasmine said. "We've got enough people on your side that Amy won't be a problem."

"Thank you," Samey said, then looked over to Dawn, then walked over to her. "Are you all right over here?"

"I'm all right," Dawn said, opening one hand, as Callie dropped a berry into it. "I'm just happy to enjoy this time with Callie."

"Callie?" Samey asked, then laughed. "Oh, the butterfly! I'm sorry, I'm stupid today." Samey looked down. "And every day."

Dawn took Samey's hand and grasped it with both of her hands. "Sammi, you are not stupid. Your aura is beautiful. You are beautiful. You deserve to have friends, and to have your own life outside of your sister."

Samey smiled nervously. "I don't know… I was kind of mean to Amy last season, getting her kicked off and all."

Dawn put her hand on Samey's shoulder, and wore a serious expression. "Standing up for yourself is not being mean. You are not mean. You don't have to be nice all the time to be a good person."

Samey smiled. "Really? Thank you."

Confession Outhouse

Samey: Dawn seems really nice… are we friends? I hate to bother her, and maybe we're not friends… wait, did she call me Sammi?

Dawn: I wish for Sammi and Amy to be loving sisters who care for each other, but I can't force Amy to do what she does not want. I will do all I can to help Sammi, and I hope she and her sister are able to reconcile, but if not, I will do all I can to keep Sammi from being abused by her.

Amy was outside, grumbling to herself, as Lindsay blissfully skipped past her, humming to herself, which seemed to make Amy more upset.

Confession Outhouse

Amy: It's disturbing how Lindsay thinks I'm Samey, and I just can't seem to get it through her thick skull that I'm Amy! Urgh! I swear, she's almost as stupid as Samey! But, being the smart one, I just figured if I pretended to be Samey, then Lindsay would mistake me for Amy! And then I could control that idiot like a puppet! (Amy put on a little makeup to hide her mole, and wore a devious smile.) This will be perfect.

Lindsay was sitting on a rock, watching a butterfly flutter by, when Amy, with her mole covered up, running about, and crashing into Lindsay, knocking her off the rock. Lindsay looked pissed.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," Amy said, using a deliberately stupid voice. "I'm Samey, and I'm just kind of stupid, and I didn't watch where I was going." Amy reached for Lindsay's hand to try to help her back up, though Lindsay immediately pulled Amy to the ground.

"I'm not that stupid, Samey," Lindsay said, irritated. "You're slightly shorter than your sister, you have a slight bald spot, some lines around your eyes, and slightly better posture." Lindsay wiped Amy's cheek, revealing her mole "And the mole. You look nothing like your sister."

Confession Outhouse

Amy: I swear, how can Lindsay be so stupid?! I am Amy!

Dawn was sitting on her bed, alone in the room, meditating, when Amy barged in. "You! Weird girl!"

Dawn opened one eye to look toward Amy. "I prefer Dawn, please."

"And I prefer Amy, but you don't always get what you want, do you?" Amy grumbled a bit. "You're like psychic, right?"

"No."

"You're close enough, so I need you to help me." Amy stood in front of the door, motioning her hands around quickly. "I need you to, like, fix Lindsay, help her realize that I'm Amy, the good twin. She thinks I'm Samey, and I-"

"Who?" Dawn asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Samey, my stupid sister," Amy complained. "Lindsay won't-"

"You don't have a sister named Samey," Dawn replied. "Do you mean Sammi?"

Amy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "No, I mean, Samey! I-"

"If you're not going to call Sammi by her proper name, then this conversation is over." Dawn closed her eyes and started meditating again.

Confession Outhouse

Amy: Well, I hope Dawn likes being alone, because no one calls her Sammi. Everyone else is on my side, anyway, and I can turn everyone against you, Dawn, just like Scott did. I know how easy that will be, and I might need to get you off before you can get everyone to start calling Samey by some stupid fake name you made up for her.

"Jasmine!" Amy exclaimed, walking over to Jasmine, who sitting with Shawn on the ground, enjoying their breakfast.

Jasmine looked up, puzzled. "What do you want?"

Amy looked irritated. "I just wanted to talk to you about my sister, Samey. You know, Samey, my sister, who I don't really get along with?"

"You treat her something awful," Jasmine said, unimpressed.

"But you like Samey, right?"

Jasmine scratched her head. "Yeah, I like Samey, why?"

"No reason," Amy said, walking away, looking content. Jasmine and Shawn looked to each other, confused.

Confession Outhouse

Amy: Even her best friend knows her real name is Samey! I'm still hoping to get Spare Amy to catch on. That's a work in progress.

Most of the contestants were in the cafeteria, eating the brown glop that was breakfast that morning. Scarlett was inspecting her food.

"What are you doing that for?" Max asked, sitting next to her.

"This isn't food," Scarlett complained, then poked the glop with her fork, stretching it like rubber. "Food does not do that."

"It's better than going hungry," Max said, contentedly eating his glop.

"So, you're an evil genius," Scarlett forced herself to say, almost gagging on her words. "Why not invent something to make this stuff good?"

Max gasped, then looked insulted. "My good lady, I am an evil genius. I do not make stuff good. I make them evil!"

"Of course," Scarlett muttered.

Noah was passing with his tray of food. "Why do you hang around him again?"

"I ask myself that same question," Scarlett said, leaning her head on her hand.

Confession Outhouse

Noah: I would say that Max is using Scarlett as a meat shield, keeping her in place to take the target off himself… if I believed Max had any actual intelligence.

Dakota was stabbing her plate of glop with a fork. "I don't think this is very good today."

"I don't think it's good any day," Sam said, forcing the glop down his throat. "As long as it's not pancakes, though. Don't really want to see another pancake again."

Dakota smiled cutely. "Pancakes are yummy, though. I still don't get your thing with pancakes." Dakota picked up her plate, putting it up to her face as she squinted. "Lot better than this junk."

"I'll have you know my blood, sweat, and tears went into this dish!" Chef complained, sticking his head out the window to the kitchen.

Dakota blinked, then casually tossed the plate underneath the table. "Yum, yum," she said, sounding insincere.

"Ow!" a voice cried from under the table.

Dakota and Sam looked at each other, confused, then Dakota looked underneath the table, and saw Cameron. "Get out from under there!" Dakota shouted quietly.

"I'm just trying to study you," Cameron said. "I would appreciate being left alone down here."

Dakota glared at him. "OK, that's really creepy, get out from under there!" Dakota kicked Cameron out from under the table, and into a wall, where he was covered with the brown glop Dakota had thrown down there earlier. Dakota then snuggled up to Sam's chest, looking more at ease.

Confession Outhouse

Cameron: (still covered in the brown glop) I believe the mutation has affected her temperament in a negative way.

Dakota: What is he doing?! Just leave me alone! I don't want some creepy kid treating me like some sort of lab rat.

Alejandro took a forkful of the brown glop on his plate, sniffed it, and reeled in disgust. "What is this?"

"It's food," Noah stated.

Alejandro held his nose. "To call this food is to sully its name."

Heather rolled her eyes. "Oh, quit being a baby." Heather took the fork and shoved the food down his throat. Alejandro appeared to be gagging. "There, not so bad, is it?"

Alejandro swallowed eventually, and looked like he was dying. "Are you trying to poison me with that swill?"

"Ideally, yeah," Heather said nonchalantly.

"Are you five?" Noah asked. "It's not that terrible." Noah took a forkful and put it in his mouth, chewing then swallowing. "OK, it is pretty terrible, but you don't see anyone else carrying on like that."

"What can you expect," Heather said, smirking. "Girls mature faster than boys."

Noah nodded, then glared at Heather, wearing an innocent smile. "Wait a minute…."

Confession Outhouse

Alejandro: I cannot help that I was cursed with a sensitive stomach. No one can be truly perfect, though I am as close as humanly possible.

Heather: Alejandro is just a big baby. Whines all the time, and he's cute, too. (Heather pauses a moment.) What? I like him. I'm not ashamed to admit that.

"Attention!" Chris exclaimed, with loudspeaker in hand, upon entering the cafeteria. "Your challenge is going to start in ten minutes, so everyone meet me outside!"

Confession Outhouse

Ezekiel: This was going to be our first team challenge, and I was going to rock this thing!

The contestants stood with their teams, grouped before Chris, who was standing in front of a small river, with three raised platforms. "This challenge is simple. Each team will have one member on one of those platforms. The object is to knock the other two players off to score a point for your team. We'll go through seventeen rounds that way. The team with the highest score gets invincibility, and a nice reward!"

"Is it a spa day?" Lindsay asked, looking hopeful. "I could really use-"

"Not that nice," Chris interrupted, looking annoyed. "The team with the lowest score will have to go to an elimination ceremony tonight, and send one of their players home. So you can decide amongst yourselves what order you'd like to go in, and hand me the list, so you can't change your minds later on."

Confession Outhouse

Sugar: I wanted to tell Chris right then and there about Ella singin', but then I thought no, Sugar, you're smarter than that. Wait and see if we lose, and if we lose, then tell Chris. I don't like the waitin', but it'll be worth it!

Ella, Tyler, and Courtney were standing on the columns, each with a padded stick. "For round one we have Ella for the Cheerful Fairies, Tyler for the Daring Debutantes, and Courtney for the Courageous Glamorous Hawks," Chris announced. "And go!"

Courtney turned to Tyler, looking angry. "You're going down!"

Tyler glared back at Courtney. "I'd like to see you-whoa!" Tyler slipped on the column and landed on his back, then rolled off in a lot of pain, and into the water."

"I hope he's OK," Ella said, looking nervous.

Courtney looked unconcerned. "It's just Tyler. He'll be fine." Tyler stuck his hand above the water, giving a thumbs up. Courtney turned back to Ella, looking a bit nervous. "Now Ella, I just want to make sure that my beating you here won't turn us against each other."

"I understand," Ella said, curtseying. "It's a game. We both want to win."

"Thank you," Courtney said, then immediately pushed Ella off her column with her stick, then looked down into the water. "Are you OK?"

Ella came up from underneath the surface, coughing. "I'm good."

"The Hawks get a point!" Chris proclaimed.

Confession Outhouse

Ella: I am disappointed in myself for not beating Courtney, but I suppose one cannot win them all.

Courtney: I felt kind of bad… that felt like picking on a little kid, what with her not really standing a chance against me, but I want to win. It's a game, and there's nothing wrong with playing to win.

Jo, Eva, and Noah were standing on the columns, and Chris started announcing once more. "For round two, it's Jo for the Fairies, Eva for the Debutantes, and Noah for the Hawks. And go!"

"And I don't think so," Noah said, climbing down his column into the water below.

"And Noah just gave up," Chris said, unimpressed. "Just the sort of effort that got you kicked out of Total Drama Island early."

Confession Outhouse

Noah: Yeah, no. I don't pretend I had an even remote shot of beating either Eva or Jo, and getting out early was to simply make this as painless as possible for me.

Alejandro: You bring shame upon our team, Noah. Don't think this transgression will be forgotten soon.

Eva and Jo were both on their platforms, trying desperately to knock the other off, but having difficulty in doing so.

"You're just a stupid girl Eva, eh," Ezekiel said, still bandaged from earlier.

"What?!" Eva bellowed, glaring at Ezekiel, as she jumped off her column, and practically ran across the water, coming for Ezekiel, who shrieked and ran in fear.

Chris blinked. "I guess that's a point for the Cheerful Fairies."

Confession Outhouse

Ezekiel: (in a wheelchair, covered in bandages all over) My plan worked! Our team got a point because of me. (Ezekiel's eyes darted back and forth.) I didn't really think it through what happened after that, though.

Jo: I don't really get the big deal. Ezekiel was right, girls do suck, except for me, at least.

Beardo, Staci, and Dave were standing on the columns now, and Chris started announcing once more. "Round three we've got Beardo for the Fairies, Staci for the Debutantes, and Dave for the Hawks. And go!"

Dave was trying to hit Staci with his stick, which she was avoiding surprisingly well as she knocked Beardo off his column. "My great great great grandfather was a ninja, and his secrets have been passed down generation to generation," Staci said.

"Come on!" Dave shouted, still trying to get a good hit on Staci, as she turned to face Dave.

"Staci, my love," Alejandro said, distracting Staci as she looked over to Alejandro, who blew a kiss to Staci, who looked love struck. Heather glared at Alejandro. But Staci's head was out of the game enough that she was stunned by a big blow from Dave, knocking her into the water.

"Take that!" Dave proclaimed, then looked at Sky down below. "Sky, I bet you wish you had this now, huh? Well too late! You can't have me now, so ha!" Sky rolled her eyes.

Confession Outhouse

Sky: I. Don't. Like. You!

Staci: That was so sweet of Alejandro to blow me that kiss. I mean, his timing was terrible, like he should've waited for me to win the round, because I accidentally got distracted. I suppose he just couldn't wait any longer. I can understand that.

Heather: Part of me wants to kiss Alejandro for that sneaky move. And part of me wants to hurt him very, very badly.

"And the Courageous Glamorous Hawks are in the lead with two points," Topher stated, coming his hair for the camera, standing in front of Chris, who was clearly annoyed, though Topher was pushed out of the way by Blaineley.

Blaineley put on a big phony smile. "The Cheerful Fairies are behind with one, and the Daring Debutantes are at zero, but we've still got a lot more game left, and anyone can still win! We've got a whole lot more drama ahead-"

Topher pushed Blaineley out of the way, then immediately fixed his hair. "Which team will win this most suspenseful challenge yet this season? Find out when we return-"

"Go away!" Chris said, pushing Topher out of his way, clearly upset. "This is my show, I get to do this." Chris cleared his throat, then turned to the camera. "Find out when we return to Total Drama Fifty-Two!"