Disclaimer: I do not own Covert Affairs or any of its characters.

This chapter occurs a little while after The Unexpected Visitor.

xxXxx

Returning to Glencoe

xXx

In the end, it was availability and convenience rather than location that determined where Auggie went for his rehab, which was how he ended up at the Hines VA while he learned the skills he would need as a blind man. He called his other three brothers just before being flown out, and was surprisingly grateful when Aaron and Asher visited once a week during his lengthy stay. And in the end, he supposed he should not have been surprised that he ended up returning to his childhood home to live with Aaron and his family once he was finished with inpatient rehab, especially considering he had no place to return to in DC and all of his belongings had been shipped to Glencoe for storage anyway.

Which was how he found himself waking in the pitch darkness, disoriented, to a half-remembered voice calling his name.

"Auggie-!"

He sat bolt upright and tried to leap out of bed, but only succeeded in tangling himself further in the sheets and rolling until he hung halfway over the side.

"Whoa, Augs!"

He instinctively lashed out when he felt a hand on his shoulder and felt his fist connect with something solid, but then the familiar voice finally registered.

"Aaron?" he whispered, his breath coming in gasps.

"Yeah Augs, it's me." Aaron helped him shift so that he was sitting upright in bed. "Just breathe," he said softly, rubbing circles into his back.

Auggie obeyed, trying to even out his breathing and calm his pounding heart. After a minute he asked, "Did I wake you again?"

"It's okay, Auggie."

"What time is it?"

"Just after 3am."

Auggie sighed. "Go back to bed, Aaron, I'll be fine."

"Auggie, you're not-"

"I'm fine, Aaron," Auggie repeated firmly, then laid back down and rolled over so his back was to his oldest brother.

After a pause, he heard Aaron stand up and leave the room, closing the door behind him. Auggie sighed and sat back up, rubbing at his eyes. Then he got up, went over to his desk, and booted up his computer, knowing that sleep was out of the question for the rest of the night.

xxXxx

When Auggie came down the stairs the next morning at 7:30, the shadow of an emerging beard around his jaw echoed by the purple skin under his eyes, Aaron exchanged concerned glances with his wife, Karen.

"Is there coffee already made?" he asked as he entered the kitchen.

The question broke the two out of their silent conversation.

"Yeah, just made some," Aaron answered. "I was just pouring myself a cup, I'll bring you one."

Auggie nodded and seated himself at the breakfast table situated in the corner of the kitchen. Lily, his four-year-old niece, was happily slurping her cereal in the seat next to him, while across from him Karen attempted to coax the two-year-old Anna into eating a few more bites.

"Here, Augs." Aaron touched the mug to the back of Auggie's hand when he held it out. "Lily are you about done with your breakfast?"

"Yes, Daddy!" came the happy chirp.

"All right, well then get a move on and brush your teeth. I gotta get to work and you don't want to be late for pre-school!"

"Oh no!"

Karen chuckled as Lily made a beeline for the stairs, leaving her bowl and spoon behind.

While Aaron and Lily hustled around getting ready before leaving and Karen cleaned Anna up and set her up with some toys in the den, Auggie remained seated, sipping slowly at his coffee. Once everything had settled and her husband and older daughter had left, Karen came back into the kitchen and paused by the table.

"Did you want anything else, some breakfast?" she asked somewhat timidly.

Auggie shook his head. "I'm fine with just coffee. And I can get it myself."

"I know you can, I just thought I'd offer."

"Thanks."

There was silence except for the sounds of Auggie swallowing.

"Do you have any plans today?" Karen finally asked.

"Just O&M at one."

"Ok." Another pause. "Well let me know if you need anything."

Auggie nodded and Karen moved to the sink to begin the breakfast dishes.

xxXxx

"Hey Ash, it's Aaron."

"Hey, what's up?"

"Well…" Aaron sighed and shifted his office phone to the other ear. "It's about Auggie."

"Has he been doing any better? I'm sorry I haven't gotten down to visit you guys as often as I'd like, things have just been-"

"It's okay Asher, I understand," Aaron interrupted. "You just moved and started your first civilian job, as an orthopedic surgeon no less. I expect you to be busy." He paused. "But no, Auggie's not doing any better. If anything, he's doing worse. He wakes up the whole house with his nightmares, and he's got bags bigger than Santa's under his eyes. He walks around like a zombie, but he's always incredibly tense. Startles easily, too."

"What happens when he startles?" Asher's voice was quiet on the line.

"He never hurts anyone," Aaron was quick to reassure his next-younger brother. "Well, he's hit me a couple times when I've woken him from a nightmare, but nothing serious. But mostly he just freezes, and his eyes kind of… dart around."

"Okay. How are Karen and the girls doing with all this?"

"Honestly? They're kind of freaked out. Karen is worried and trying not to go mother bear on him, but you know how she is. I think since she met all of you so soon after Mom died, her mothering instincts tend to come out. And the girls are sort of… scared of him. I mean, they love him when he plays with them, and he can be so great with them. But they hardly knew him before he moved in, they know something's not right, and they know it's him that wakes them up at night sometimes. Karen has to go calm them down while I wake Auggie up." Aaron sighed. "I honestly don't know what to do, but I don't think he can stay with us, not if it keeps being like this."

"Yeah." Asher paused. "His instructors don't think he's ready to live on his own?"

Aaron sighed. "Technically, he has the skills. That's what the graduation was all about. But I'm afraid to push him into it too soon. And I'm not sure whether his checks from the government have kicked in yet, or how much those are for. I've been afraid to ask. So I'm not even sure he could afford a place for himself at this point."

"Is he still seeing the therapist?"

"No, I don't think he particularly liked him. He stopped once he moved in."

"Okay, well let's see if we can get him to find another one. Has Aidan been there, or talked to him much?"

"He visited him at Walter Reed, remember? But he hasn't been here yet, no. He's planning on coming soon though, I'd have to check the exact date." Aaron thought for a second. "A few days, maybe? Karen would know the day. Him and Auggie talk on the phone about once a week, I think. They've always been close."

"Goes with the territory of being twins, I guess."

"Are you thinking get Aidan to convince him…?"

"I'm thinking Aidan could convince him to find a therapist. Of anybody, he could. Do you want to call him? And I'll call Alan. He's seen more combat than me. While I was kept way back from the lines in the hospitals, he's actually been at the front. Maybe hasn't seen the same stuff as Auggie, but…"

"But he could give us a better idea of where his head might be at, empathize a bit more. Okay. Thanks, man."

"Of course. We'll take care of him, Aaron. We take care of each other." Asher's voice sounded determined on the phone.

Aaron gave a small smile. "I know, Ash."

xxXxx

"Auggie! Where are you bro?" Aidan's voice echoed through the entryway of their childhood home.

Auggie got up from where he had been sitting in the living room, a broad grin on his face as he made his way out of the room.

"A!" he called out, walking towards the front door where his brother's voice had come from, then pausing as he neared him, unsure of how to approach. For over ten years, Auggie had compensated for his brother's blindness by being the one to initiate physical contact in a room, by leading him as a sighted guide when he wanted it, by telling him where food was on his plate. He had begun to accept needing such help himself, but until this moment it had not sunk in that he could not offer such assistance to his brother anymore. He knew that Aidan was by no means helpless, and he had their other brothers and other people in his life who could just as easily perform such tasks, but that dynamic of their relationship had been second-nature, effortless, for a long time. And now he stood before his brother, unsure of how to find him to embrace him.

Then Auggie felt Aidan's hand brush his arm and they were suddenly hugging, in a rather un-manly way. Seconds later they parted again, and Auggie did his best to wipe his eyes discreetly. He could hear Aaron fiddling with Aidan's luggage, so he hoped he was preoccupied enough not to notice.

"Let's take a walk, Augs," Aidan suggested.

Auggie sighed deeply, feeling as though a piece of him had been returned, though he had not realized it was missing. "Okay."

"Just be back by 5, all right guys? Ash is coming for dinner, and Karen is cooking up a feast," Aaron reminded them.

Auggie laughed, feeling a bit like his emotions were on a seesaw. "Karen always cooks up a feast."

Aidan touched Auggie's shoulder. "That gives us an hour. We'll be back by then, don't worry."

Five minutes later, they were walking down the sidewalk, canes tapping before them in rhythm. They were the same height, and their strides nearly matched. Although they were fraternal twins, they had always looked enough alike that only close friends and family could easily tell them apart, at least until Aidan had started regularly using a cane to navigate when they were freshmen in high school. Now, Auggie wondered how they looked to the neighbors that had watched them grow up, walking down the street with identical canes swinging before them.

They walked in silence for a while, before Auggie finally sighed. His head was beginning to pound, as it always seemed to these days, and now that the excitement of seeing his brother had somewhat worn off, the lack of sleep was leaving him ill-tempered and impatient.

"Will you say what you're thinking, Aidan?"

There was a pause before Aidan said, "There's a bench near here, a few paces up on the left. Want to sit?"

Once they had settled on the bench, Aidan asked, "How are you, Auggie?"

Auggie snorted. "You brought us all the way out here just to ask how I am?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"I'm fine, Aidan."

"I don't know if I believe that, Auggie."

Auggie started bouncing the grip of his cane against his shoulder lightly. He sighed. "A, what do you want me to say? I'm not one hundred percent, but I'll get there. I'm figuring things out. I've had years of watching how you do things, so that helps."

"Aaron is worried about you."

"Aaron always worries."

"Yeah, well, to be honest, he's got the rest of us worried too. And I'm not really sure it's the going-blind part that's worrying us."

Auggie's hands stilled and his body tensed defensively. "What do you mean?"

"You've been having nightmares?"

"What is Aaron so worried about anyway?" Auggie exploded, his hands squeezing his cane so hard his knuckles were white.

"Auggie." Aidan touched Auggie's shoulder, but Auggie twisted away. "Auggie, he said you have nightmares nearly every night. That you wake up the whole house screaming, and that you've hit him a couple times when he's woken you up. He said you're not eating, or at least not enough, and that you look dead tired all the time. That you startle, that you're tense. Whether it's the trauma of suddenly going blind or the trauma of the war, or both, it's-"

Auggie abruptly stood up and extended his cane, going back down the sidewalk the way they had come.

"Auggie!"

Auggie could hear Aidan hurrying behind him, could hear the rhythm of his cane, and increased his pace. He was so focused on the sounds behind him that when he came to a break in the sidewalk he stopped, disoriented.

"Auggie?" Aidan had stopped a few paces behind him.

Auggie gritted his teeth. "I'm here, Aidan." He heard Aidan come up beside him and then felt him find his elbow.

Aidan was quiet for a moment. Then, "Do you even realize how much anger you have bottled up inside you, Auggie?"

Auggie didn't answer, and finally Aidan asked, "Will you at least consider seeing a therapist? I know you didn't like the one in rehab, but there are plenty of others out there you could see."

Auggie sighed. "Yeah, fine."

"Yeah, you'll considering seeing one, or yeah, you'll see one?"

"I'll see one, okay?"

"Okay," Aidan said, and Auggie could tell he was smiling.

Auggie rolled his eyes, though he knew his brother wouldn't be able to see it. Aidan had some residual vision - which was more than Auggie could say of himself - but it wasn't much. "Are you gonna clue me in on where we are, or what?"

"Oh! House is this way." Aidan gave a gentle tug on Auggie's elbow and then they were walking side-by-side again.

"I don't know how you lived here through high school without crawling up the walls," Auggie finally commented.

"What do you mean?"

"It's not exactly accessible. I never really thought about it before, but the suburbs are not exactly blind-friendly."

Aidan laughed. "Every teenager is crawling up the walls in high school, so it wasn't that big of a deal. But there is a reason I've stuck with cities since graduating."

Auggie sighed. "I just feel... overwhelmed sometimes, ya know? There's so much to learn and remember. I mean, I've watched you do it for years, so I feel like I should have some kind of advantage, but I feel like I'm completely retraining my brain."

"You are completely retraining your brain."

"True, I guess."

They walked in silence until they were back at the house, then they moved to sit on one of the padded benches on the wide front porch.

Once settled, Auggie leaned forward and began absentmindedly fiddling with his cane again. "I have to concentrate on everything though, all the time," he said, as though continuing a train of thought. "Navigating, listening, Braille… and my head seems to always be pounding. Getting back to some sort of life, where I'm not just a recluse living at my big brother's house, seems like an impossible task. Especially here, I have no idea of what adults do around here for fun, or of how if I ever could find a job I would get there. And how am I supposed to get to a therapist's office? It's like every little thing has just become… insurmountably difficult. I know I can do it, it just seems impossible though."

"Augs… I get it, okay? But you have to tell someone these things. It can be figured out. I mean, do your doctors know your head is still hurting constantly? Because they have these things called painkillers."

"It's just part of the post-concussion syndrome. I'm only about four months post-injury."

"Okay, well even if it is expected or normal, they can still give you painkillers. Knowing you, you probably aren't even taking Tylenol. That will probably help more than you think. And as for the other things… some of it is time. You have to be patient with yourself. I lost my sight over years, and I still found it overwhelming at times. Nobody is expecting you to start interviewing for jobs tomorrow." Aidan hesitated before adding, "Are you even sure you need to look for a job? I mean, when you're ready, will your employer-?"

"I don't know," Auggie stated with such finality that Aidan dropped that line of questioning.

"But, you know that, regardless of any job situation, you could probably move back to DC? Have you talked to Alan recently? He was transferred to Virginia a couple months ago - I think he's living off-base in Arlington. It'd be a more familiar area, more accessible."

"I'm sure Alan wouldn't-"

"Auggie," Aidan interrupted, and Auggie went quiet. "You know Alan would be happy to have you. Call him."

"But Aaron-"

"Will understand. Or if not, he'll get over it. Call Alan."

"Okay. Fine."

Just then, they heard a car pulling up in the driveway, then steps coming up onto the porch.

Auggie heard Aidan stand and call out, "Is that Asher?" There was a smile in his voice.

"Aidan! The long-lost brother! You don't come home enough - I haven't seen you in forever!" Auggie heard the sounds of them clapping each other's backs as they embraced.

"Oh, and like all you military types make it home so often," Aidan retorted.

"Hey, we have to wait for leave, we have an excuse. But no more! I am officially a civilian, working at the hospital downtown."

Auggie gave a wan smile and stood as well. "Yeah, looks like Alan's the only Anderson left in the military now."

There was a pause, then Asher came over and embraced Auggie as well, although a bit more gently than he had Aidan.

"It's good to see you again, Auggie," Asher said with feeling. "I'm sorry I haven't been around as much since you got out of rehab, I-"

"It's okay, Ash, I understand. You just started your new job. I know doctors work weird hours. We're cool. But hey, I want to hear all about it. You meet any hot lady doctors yet?"

Asher chuckled and they all began to move inside while he told them about his first few weeks on the job.

xxXxx

It was the first time more than three of the Anderson brothers had been together in five years, since Auggie and Aidan had graduated from college, and Auggie felt a sense of nostalgia as they sat at their old dining room table. Only the addition of Karen, Lily, and Anna, and the absence of Alan, broke the feeling of being transported back in time ten years. That and the fact that instead of Auggie telling Aidan what was on his plate by the clock face method, Aaron performed the service for both of them. Still, it was nice. And once dinner had been finished, the dishes stacked in the dishwasher, and Karen had brought the girls upstairs, the four brothers retired to the living room, spreading across the two couches and sipping beers.

The comfortable silence was broken by Asher remarking, "It's weird to think of this house having been in the family for three generations."

"Four," Aaron corrected him.

"Huh?"

"Four. It's been in the family for four generations. Our great-grandparents bought it, and Grandpa inherited it from them."

"I never knew that," Asher protested.

"Well, you were never that close to Grandpa." Aaron shrugged.

Asher frowned. "Well, that was his fault."

"What do you mean?" Auggie piped up. "You were always on his case, it seemed, rebelling against him."

"He never supported Mom's decisions, or autonomy, and he hated Dad."

"He didn't hate Dad," Auggie protested.

"What do you know? You were too little."

"Asher." Aaron's voice held a warning tone.

"Besides," Asher continued, "he couldn't get on board with what was going on with Aidan. He was-" Asher paused, and Auggie thought he was reconsidering what he had been about to say. "He wasn't very supportive."

"Grandpa just didn't get it. He was trying," Auggie insisted. "Wasn't he, A?"

The room was quiet for several seconds before Aidan eventually answered. "I'm not sure, Auggie. I always thought he kind of resented me, but I'm sure he had his reasons. A lot of people have a hard time understanding the gradations of visual impairment, especially when it happens over a long period of time. And for a man like Grandpa, I imagine having a disabled grandson was hard. I've made my peace with that."

"What-? You don't think…?" Auggie tried and failed to gather his thoughts.

"I'm sure he would still be proud of you, Auggie." Aaron's voice was gentle.

"You guys don't know what you're talking about. He was just-" Auggie stood suddenly, feeling agitated. He clenched his hands into fists, then spun towards the door and walked out, touching a hand to the door frame as he passed to orient himself.

Aidan sighed. "I'll go speak to him."

"No," Aaron stood. "I will. I think he's been struggling with this for a while, and he might actually need a slightly more outside perspective than yours."

Aidan reluctantly nodded, and Aaron followed his youngest brother up the stairs.

"Auggie?" Aaron gently knocked on the closed door. When there was no answer, he pushed it open to find Auggie sitting silently on the bed, elbows on knees and head in hands. He walked forward and sat beside him, placing a gentle hand on his brother's shoulders. Auggie flinched minutely at the touch but did not pull away.

"Auggie." Aaron sighed. "Grandpa grew up in a different time. Disabilities were treated differently - there was less adaptive tech, less focus on inclusion. Wrapping his mind around Aidan going blind was difficult for a proud man like him. And so he pretended Aidan was fine, and when that didn't work, he ignored the problem. But I don't think he did that because he somehow viewed Aidan differently or loved him differently. I think that for a man like Grandpa, not being able to help, not being able to fix him, was just too much for him. Especially after all that his daughter and grandchildren had been through."

"Aidan never needed fixing," Auggie mumbled.

"I know that, I'm just trying to explain how I think Grandpa thought. Well, thought is probably the wrong word - I think it was all subconscious, I don't think he ever knew this about himself. It's taken me several years as an adult with some distance from the whole situation to come to these conclusions.

"But you need to know… Grandpa would have been so proud of you for serving your country. Of Alan and Asher, too. But you being injured… he would have been so proud, in many ways. Sad, certainly, but proud that you gave so much for this country. And if Grandpa could see you adapting, and see Aidan's life and job and all that he has done, I don't think he would have felt the need to fix it anymore. I think he would have just felt proud. I think he would have gotten there if he hadn't died when he did."

"But he did."

"Yeah, he did." Aaron smiled gently. "But if he hadn't, he would have been so honored to have you as a grandson. He loved you, and he loved Aidan too."

"You really think so?" Auggie whispered.

"I really do."