Decision

Chapter III

By Riko Ozaki

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Disclaimer:

The characters portrayed herein are copyrighted to Anno Hideki and Studio Gainax. They are not my creations. If asked, I will pull this prose from the internet if it offends them.

Please excuse any mistakes which I may have made due to syntax and punctuation; English is not my primary language.

Thank you for reading, and please review. It helps me to progress in learning a new language, and prods me to be a better author.

This chapter was pre-read by 94Saturn, Rose1948, and Jintsu.

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Rei increased her pace through the forest to the point where she was running flat-out. Tree branches from low-growing pines slashed at her body as she pitched herself down the mountain towards her destiny. Her sense of premonition pushed her to insane speeds and maneuvers within the forest glen. Using all of her former training in the Evangelions, she vaulted rock outcroppings, slammed into small trees to change direction, and ran full-out for her goal. As sweat poured off her body, she ran straight towards a huge cedar. The path split to both sides of the tree. Shifting her center-of -mass, she stiff-armed the tree. Legs swiftly flying across her firmly planted hands, she deftly pirouetted around the tree, saving her time as the path lead straight-away from said tree.

Painfully gasping for breath, she continued on towards the tram station. Finally intersecting the stone-paved path, she stumbled as her zori sandals were ripped from her feet in her haste to change direction. Rei ignored the pain and reduced traction as she heard a sound that she dreaded.

The tram car was returning to the top of the mountain.

Someone had called for the car for a trip down the mountain.

'No...I will not be denied my meeting with Shinji-kun! Just beyond this last corner is the station. Faster...Faster!!'

Sweat-soaked, torn tabi socks the color of blood; she vaulted the five stairs of the upper terminal and slammed to a stop against the supporting girders at the entrance of the station. She took two deep breaths, and then she heard the sharp trills of the whistle for the tram, indicating that it was leaving. Employing the last of her strength, she slung herself around the pylon and staggered into the tram car.

"Whoa... Let me help you. You really didn't need to be in that much of a hurry; the next car would be here in thirty minutes."

Shinji helped the out-of-breath young woman to a seat, and grabbed a hanging strap while watching her.

'She seemed to be in such a hurry to catch this tram; I wonder why it was so important? MY DEAR LILITH! HER FEET ARE BLEEDING!'

"Are you all right? Your feet are a bleeding mess! Let me help you with..."

Rei looked up at the young man before her and smiled...a true and face-filling smile that reached from ear-to-ear.

'I made it! I'm actually here in an empty tram car with Shinji-kun. But what do I say? '

The glowing smile on her face suddenly dropped to a frown, as she struggled with her emotions.

Shinji saw the transformation of her facial features and slightly backed away from the young woman, thinking that he might have been too forward.

As the car lurched forward towards the bottom of the mountain, Rei saw his reticence and grasped his hands within her own.

"Thank you for helping me. I needed to leave this mountain as soon as possible. Please forgive me for imposing upon you."

Shinji looked down at the hands that had captured his own. He felt a slight tingle and a sense of déjà vu.

'What is it I am feeling? It's almost like she was here. No... She is gone, has been for three years. Just my imagination, wishing that she was back here with me.'

Rei felt something almost like an electric shock as she held his hands in her own.

'Please Mother; give me the strength to finally be able to tell him how I feel. I don't care what he might say in return, I just need to say what I could not say back then.'

As if by some outside force, like a positive pole magnet was being drawn by a negative pole magnet, their eyes slowly raised from their linked hands to stare into each others eyes. Brown eyes with golden flecks lock onto Flemish blue orbs.

'WHAT IS THIS!?? She has the same gaze as Ayan...no...sniff...no... there is no one like her! I...I am just confused...'

'Shinji-kun ... koibito...I have waited so long for this. My heart soars with the feelings that are turning me inside-out right now. How do I let you know that I am here now, the old me in a new body? LILITH, HELP ME!! I cannot let him go, now! Not after all I have been through!!!

The tram car creaked and swayed its way down the mountain with two people lost in the eyes of each other. The scenery passing by and the cool winds of the mountain pass had no effect on the pair within the car. For half of the journey down the mountain, they never moved. One pair of disbelieving eyes looked into a pair of expectant and acceptant orbs that were leaking moisture.

"I'm sorry, but why are you crying? ...I feel like I should know you. But that's stupid, I just met you."

For Rei, a flash of memory hit her, almost like the detonation of the N-2 mine which she deployed unsuccessfully against the Sixteenth Angel.

She remembered Shinji in the open hatch of her entry plug after the battle with the Fifth Angel, Ramiel. She remembered his words to her as he regarded her with tears in his eyes as she lay in her half-submerged seat in the entry plug.

Don't ever say that...Just don't say that you have nothing else. Just don't say that! And just don't say goodbye when you leave on a mission, it's just too sad!

She remembered her words to him, and with a prayer cupping her heart, she recited the words she spoke over four years ago:

"I'm very sorry, I..I don't know what I should do or feel at a time like this...

Her words froze him in shock.

'That was what Ayanami...No one else knew what was said between us!! Can this be?? Could this be? Oh please, let it be true….'

"Rei...?"

"Yes, Shinji, it's me."

"REI!!!"

Shinji engulfed his one-time comrade in a rib-cracking hug as his own eyes released tears of happiness. Rei, for her part, wrapped her arms around him and clutched handfuls of his jacket; as if holding on for dear life. The emotional release from finding the one that they love is so powerful that all they can do is smile stupidly at each other. Each look into the others eyes to see themselves reflected therein.

"Rei, I thought you were dead! I couldn't find you after Third Impact and thought that Lilith took you with her...I...I...I'm so glad that I found you! I have been so torn-up about..."

"Shhhh...I know, koibito. I too have had my heart crushed by the thought that you might be gone. But then, I found out that you were still alive. I tried to go to you, but no one would tell me anything about you. I was afraid that if I told the authorities who I was, they would lock me in a room and interrogate and test me to death because of my new body. I was..."

"Yeah, what about this new look of yours?" Shinji asked, as he moved his hands from her waist to her shoulders, lovingly cupping them from behind. With a gentle smile he softly kneaded the tight muscles of her shoulders while peering into her now-normal eyes. Feeling that she was starting to tremble and shake, he guided her to one of the bench seats behind her, and helped her sit down.

Rei felt the love and concern that radiated from Shinji as she clung to him with an iron grip. She really did not want to be separated from him, even this small amount. But she could feel the exhaustion catching-up with her from her mad dash down the mountain. She let herself be guided to a seat and sat down, releasing her grip on his jacket and exchanging it for reaching upwards for his hands. Lightly taking his hands in hers, she brought them down to rest on her knees. Taking a deep breath, she gathered her scattered wits, and raised her head to gaze directly into Shinji's eyes.

"This is the body that Lilith gifted me with after you made your decision about Third Impact," Rei quietly stated.

"She looked within my mind and saw the emotional wasteland that was my soul. She told me that I needed to learn to live for myself and be a human being in body, mind, and soul. She then transferred my essence into a new shell. One that had no trace of herself or of your mother. After that, I passed-out. When I awoke, I was in a public park in Osaka, as bare as the day I had been originally created. So I guess you could say that I am only three years old."

Shinji has listened carefully to her all the way to this point. During her discourse his face reflected his emotions as she revealed her new genesis. Surprise, sadness, happiness, disbelief, shock, and incredulity were clearly displayed as she went from point-to-point. As she finished her narration of her new creation, Shinji again gathered her up into a warm embrace. Sitting side-by-side, he slowly and lightly pulled her towards his shoulder, and then hung his chin over her left shoulder. Deeply inhaling her warm, fragrant scent, he sighed in contentment.

Eyes closed, he softly stated, "So you are now completely human. I guess Lilith did listen to my thoughts and prayers. I had wished that for you when I was in Instrumentality, Rei. I figured, out of all of us, you deserved the chance to get another opportunity at life."

With a wicked little smile on her face, and a gleam in her eyes that Shinji could not see, she crushed down on his hands and said in a sarcastic tone:

"Gee...thank you for the cramps that I have to endure every month, Ikari!"

Immediately he shoved her away from himself, holding her at arms-length. His shocked expression was locked into his visage as he searched her face for the anger he thought he sensed. Seeing the smug expression on her face, he relaxed somewhat from the normal "Shinji Shock" that he had experienced when he was living at the Katsuragi household. After reaching the age of seventeen, he finally had been able to realize when people were screwing with his head. Even so, this is something totally different. This is Ayanami Rei that had said this. All of his former data upon the First Child was now brought into question. Or actually, this conversation itself was the weird one. The epiphany then hit him with the force of an Eva's backhanded slap.

This is a new person. She had the memories of Ayanami Rei, but the living of her life as a normal person had made a sea change in the person who now sat beside him in this tram car. She was and was not the person he knew. But he could see enough of the old Rei to quiet his fears. Besides, he liked this new Rei. She was so much more...alive than the previous incarnation. And if what she said was true...

Rei looked at Shinji's face and could see the war that was progressing in his mind. She waited for the storm of thoughts to calm and give her an opening to speak her mind. As she watched, she saw a hopeful expression wash over his features. With her last comment in mind, and seeing this last timid hope written large upon his person, she felt her heart luxuriating in the feelings of desire and love. Taking a guess at his feelings from what she said and from what she saw upon his visage, she said with a coy voice:

"I no longer have an S-2 organ replacing my womb. I am fully human now, Shinji. I can even bear...sniff...children, now. But only if they were your children." 1

The hopeful look on Shinji's face froze as Rei uttered those last words. Even though three years had passed and he had to deal with the final blooming of the Second Child, he was still somewhat gun-shy on the subject of sex. Obviously, the woman in front of him had matured at a much faster rate than himself.

'Suck it up! This is the person that you had loved from the first time you saw her. If she wants to give you children, can you not accept that? Piss on the running-away shit! Stand-up for the first time in your life! Didn't you buy a tombstone with your name engraved on it to signify your love for her?'

At this point, Rei made a strategic move: She released Shinji's hands and slightly stood up. She then moved over to his lap and sat down square upon his lap, her knees planted in the crack between the backrest and the seat pad. Slipping her left arm around his back and pressing him tightly against her breasts, she raised her right arm towards his face. She then softly caressed the left side of his face with her upraised right hand.

"You are mine, Ikari Shinji. From the first time that you held me, I knew that there was something special about you. And no, it was not your mother's genes that induced me to feel that way. It was my own feelings, no matter how small or fleeting at the time, that I had. Then when you forced your way into my entry plug after the attack of Ramiel, the Fifth Angel. How you burned your hands to gain entry to the plug and to make sure of my survival. I saw at that time the parallel of you and the Commander, but you honestly cared for me, with no expectation of the feeling to be reciprocated. I want to tell you now, koibito; no one has ever cared for me as you have. I have given my life for you; I think that should say enough of my feelings for you. But if that is not enough, let me "say" this."

As Shinji sat on the bench seat with a fragrant bundle of womanhood clasped to his chest, raptly listening to her affirmation of her love for him, he watched as she slowly but firmly moved her head closer to his. Her gaze enraptured him as she slowly but insistently pressed her lips against his.

Shinji then took his stunned hands and lightly cupped the face of his only love.

The spooning pair was so enraptured in their love for each other that their arrival at the foot of the mountain went unnoticed. That is until other passengers entered the small cabin of the tram car.

The clapping of multiple hands awakened the lovers to their new reality. Both of them were slightly flushed and warm from their shared intimacy. But there was no embarrassment or shame on their features. Instead, there was an expression of caring and love; as if these new-found lovers had been together for many decades. They gracefully stood up from their loving embrace, and left the small cabin for the larger outside world.

Standing in the brilliant sunlight that splashed over the area of the exit terminal, Rei looked up to the eyes of her beloved and asked:

"Where do we go from here, Shinji-kun?"

Letting go of her hands, Shinji leaned down and grasped Rei under her thighs with his left arm, while cradling her upper body with his right arm. Standing erect with her in his arms, he spun around in a full circle, a smile as large as the world plastered on his face.

"You are coming with me to Hiroshima-2!"

He leaned his head in close to her ear and whispered:

"To hell with NERV, the UN, college, and the world! I found my reason for living, and I won't let go of her for any of them! Rich or poor, living in a mansion or a cardboard box on the streets of Kyoto, I don't care, as long as you are with me. Are you ready for the rest of your life with me, miss?"

"I don't care where we live, as long as it is together. I have been alone for all of my life. I no longer wish to be alone. Please defend me from these feelings of loneliness."

Spinning around in a full circle again, Ikari Shinji stated with all of his heart:

"You will never be lonely again, as long as it is within my power, Rei."

As the two lovers slowly make their way down the rest of the mountain, at the top, there has been a change.

For some strange, inexplicable reason, the clothing bag that held Rei's street clothing suddenly disappeared. Additionally to that, all memory of the former gardener on Mount Futago seemed to have been fogged-over, or forgotten. The last thing was in a small glen, surrounded by a cedar forest.

The rantoba and new headstone for a certain female personage started to twist and distort, as if it were a heat mirage. Seconds later, there was no marker or stone; the grass was a uniform plain that had yet to have the hand of man defile it.

As a shaft of sunlight danced on the former remembrance site, there was the tinkling of wind chimes and children's laughter, which then tapered off into silence.

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Author's Notes:

Koibito- the one you are in love with.

1- A small homage to Washu, from Tenchi Muyo! Episode 8, Hello Baby.

This was a very emotional story for me to tell. I sat back from my CRT and cried. It hurt me. It made me feel joyous. It made me feel envious of the characters which I wrote about. The story made me bare my soul to you, my readers.

I hope that I have not sullied the characters of the persons that I have portrayed here.

Thank you for reading my poor bit of prose dedicated to the world of Shin Seiki Evangelion.

Arigatou gozaimasu

LORD SATURN, YOU OWE ME ONE! THIS WAS TOO MUCH LIKE WORK!

Yes dear, he he….We all need a little push now and then to aspire to our full potential and thanks for your help, also.

Lord Saturn bows quite low in apology.

Also, thank you Rose for your time and effort in helping me with these chapters.

And thank you, Jintsu, for a couple of your ideas and for pre-reading this for me.

Ozaki Riko Page 9 08/03/08 10:36:30 JST