It was almost complete and it would be perfect. He used his scissors to make precise cuts along the dotted line he had previously drawn out. With a final snip, his masterpiece was completed. He held it up to scan it over and admire it. Spy smirked confidently.
"Damn I'm good."
His prized item was a circular piece of paper, the nice, heavy stock kind of paper, and on one side, the face of RED's medic was printed on it. While he was no Monet or Van Gogh, Spy had to admit he was a pretty damn good artist. As far as he was concerned, he captured all the necessary features that defined RED's medic, which was more than enough to be able to fool their team. Markers and colored pencils were scattered across his large metal table he called a desk and to the side was his tin of cigarettes.
"'Ey! Spy, you in there, mate?"
Spy looked towards the corner where the stairs leading up to the main living area were located. He leaned back in his chair and patted the pocket of his pants. His fingers could feel the contour of his trusty, and lethal, butterfly knife.
"I am down here."
Footsteps echoed against the concrete steps and the Spy listened, making sure he knew exactly where the steps were coming from. Though the basement of their living quarters was not gigantic, it was larger than what was on the surface and it took a few moments before Sniper strolled in.
Most people would have walked right up to him and be all friendly, but the members of BLU knew that was not a wise thing to do with Spy. So, Sniper stood at the opposite end of the table with his arms crossed. Seeing as Sniper kept his distance and was too far away to try anything, Spy deemed him a non-hostile.
"What can I do for you?"
"Well, it's about supper time and I was gonna fire up the barbie. I was wondering if you had a meat preference...Oh, are you making another mask? Looks pretty good, mate."
He pointed to the newly made mask lying on the table while Spy enjoyed the praise he just received. Spy nodded his head and gave his thank as he picked it up. Not really talking to anybody in particular, Spy started rambling, now completely ignoring Sniper who was still standing in the same position waiting for an answer.
"Yes...it is perfect. They'll never see it coming...Heh heh...I am going to gut them all like cornish game hens!"
A malicious cackle of glee escaped the Spy causing Sniper to rub the back of his neck nervously. To be honest, Spy was the creepiest one to be around. He was sophisticated, polite, and a good support in battle, but socially awkward. Perhaps it had something to do with his profession. He was wary of everybody he met and was more or less paranoid about everything and everybody. Thinking it would be best to just leave him be, since Spy was obviously enjoying himself, Sniper just sighed.
"Soooo, I'll just put you down for chicken."
He waited a few seconds to see if that got a response out of the Spy, but all he received in reply was a non-committal grunt. Softly shaking his head, he just walked back the way he came and climbed the stairs. When his footsteps died away, Spy finally realized he was alone again. He shrugged his shoulders and set the mask back on the table. Not overly concerned with how he answered Sniper, Spy knew whatever it was, it would taste good. If there was one thing he knew the Aussie could do well, it was turn people's heads into colored rain and make a good barbecue.
"Yo Spy!"
His once peaceful thoughts of massacring the entirety of RED were shattered when he heard a very distinct voice echo throughout the room. There was a small twitch in his hand as it slowly made its way to the butterfly knife. As he was doing that, however, the Scout came running in.
Completely unknown to him, Spy wondered why Scout could never calmly walk into a room or quietly say hello. He always burst in at full speed and was the loudest person around. Also, out of all the team members, Scout was the only one who did not follow Spy's simple rules to avoid being stabbed. Unlike Sniper who kept his distance and minded his surroundings, Scout came right up next to him and immediately violated Spy's personal space. While he could stab the Scout and just have Medic heal him later, he was tired from slaving away over his mask and settled for grabbing the nearest heavy object and throwing it in Scout's face. If he was another Spy, he would change back, and if he really was Scout, then he would have the satisfaction of having thrown something at him.
"Holy freakin' hell! Did you just throw a sapper in my face?!"
Scout was holding his face with one hand and waving one of Spy's electro-sappers angrily in the air. This evening was turning out to be fantastic. However, having a large chunk of metal chucked into his face was not going to deter Scout who just tossed the device to the side and walked back over to Spy. As he did, Spy went about cleaning up his supplies.
"So what did we learn?"
"You suck."
This caused the Spy to smirk ever so slightly, but then, he switched to more serious topics.
"What have you been told about coming here?"
Looking thoughtfully up at the ceiling, Scout rubbed his chin for a few seconds before answering.
"Don't come down to see you without an adult?"
Spy paused in the middle of gathering his markers to look questioningly at Scout who shrugged.
"What? Pyro told me that...and also Hard Hat...Oh wait, or do you mean the whole 'don't get close, don't touch anything, don't look, don't breathe' rule ya told me a while back?"
"Yes. That one."
Spy finished putting the coloring utensils in their appropriate cases in a particular order as he waited for Scout to comprehend the point he was trying to make.
"Rules were made to be broken and in particular, yer rules suck."
Of course it would be too much to ask for Scout to obediently follow the simple instructions he was given. Spy resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose in irritation. Taking a deep breath and counting to ten, he finally opted to take a more direct approach.
"Get the hell out."
"But I came down here for a reason. Trust me, I ain't gonna mess with a creep like you unless I absolutely got to."
Scout was now sitting in the previously occupied chair and tapping his foot. The rapid sound made Spy cringe. Since his job required him to be stealthy, quiet, and patient, somebody like the Scout who was always moving or twitching was the most annoying person on earth. Actually, if there was one person he loathed to imitate, it was a Scout. RED's scout was very similar. Fast and annoying. It took so much energy and he understood why Scout consumed so much coffee. Anyways, it was probably just better if he listened to what the Scout wanted and be done with it.
"What do you want?"
"Uhhh...I forget now..."
Slapping a hand in his face, Spy finally reached his limit. He grabbed the metal tin of cigarettes and popped it open. He ran his finger over them but paused when he reached a certain one. Pulling it out, he forced it into Scout's hand and began shooing him towards the stairs.
"H-hey, whatcha doin'? I don't really smoke or nuthin' and-"
"I don't care. Smoke, be free. Leave."
When he managed to finally push Scout into the hallway, Spy slammed the door closed and locked it. Now he could get some peace and quiet until his barbecue was ready.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Scout was confused as to how he wound up in the hallway so fast and why he was holding one of Spy's cigarettes. He was being truthful wen he said he didn't smoke, but he was curious and it is not like his mother was around to scold him for it. Besides, it was one of Spy's precious cigarettes and why should he let it go to waste? The man was very particular about his cigarettes and never let anybody near them. So, now that he got a hold of one, and not by stealing it, Scout was going to try it out.
He would have to go find Pyro if he wanted to light it considering he did not carry lighters on him. As he walked down the hallway towards Pyro's room, he sniffed the small object and crinkled his nose at the smell. It reminded him of burnt rubber or something. Whatever the case, he reached Pyro's door and went inside, not bothering to knock.
"Yo Pyro, gotta lighter I can use?"
He walked in to see the Pyro checking the propane tank attached to his flamethrower and looked up when Scout entered. Pyro nodded and walked over to the dresser where a light blue purse with a big daisy on it sat. Nobody really asked why Pyro had such a thing, but really, they were kind of reluctant to ask just because they did not want to insult him and get lit on fire or in most cases, it was not there business and they really did not want to know. Either way, Pyro rummaged through it a bit before pulling out a silver lighter.
"Mmp mm mmf mm mpfh?"
Scout held up the cigarette and explained how he received it from Spy. Pyro walked over and examined the stick.
"Mmmph mm mp mmphf mmph."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna smoke it outside. And what d'ya mean be careful? I ain't gonna hurt myself."
"Mmph mmf mmm."
He scratched his head at Pyro's words.
"What do you mean by 'that not what I meant'?"
Pyro just shrugged him off and went back to examining the propane tank. Scout left the room with the newly acquired lighter and headed for the backyard. When he stepped outside, he was greeted by the Sniper who was standing over the barbecue poking some meat with a long fork.
"Whatcha got there, mate?"
He looked over his shoulder at Scout who had the stick in his mouth and was currently trying to get the lighter to actually light.
"Spy gave me one of his cigarettes. I'm tryin' it."
"He did now? Well, just watch it. Though, a little experimenting never hurt anybody."
Finally, Scout was able to get a spark and when he held down the gas button, he was unprepared when a giant pillar of flame shot upwards and practically singed his eyebrows off. He quickly held it away from himself while Sniper just broke out into a fit of laughter.
"What the hell, man?!"
"Hahahaha...hahaha!!"
Sniper shook his head and watched Scout of the corner of his eye. He tentatively brought the pillar of flame closer to his face until the end of the cigarette was burning. Even though he had never smoked before, Scout knew the basic idea behind lighting one. While the end was in the flame, he inhaled a little bit until the end was sufficiently lit. Of course, not knowing what to expect, he inhaled a little deeper than was necessary and immediately removed the cigarette from his mouth so he could cough up a lung. Once again, this cause Sniper to burst out laughing. He was getting bored just watching meat cook. Now he had entertainment.
"Careful there, mate. Might not want to take that deep a breath 'til you're used to it...hahaha..."
Scout shot Sniper a dirty look before finally being able to breath again. He rubbed the water from his eyes with the back of his hand before carefully placing the stick back in his mouth. Though he would never admit it, he took Sniper's advice and was careful to only inhale a little bit. The taste that filled his mouth and throat still stung a little bit, but he found that he was still able to breath. After studying the taste in his mouth a little bit, he exhaled a small cloud of smoke.
"Huh, not so bad..."
"Congrats on your first puff, mate."
Sniper shook his head with a smile as he went back to grilling the meat. Seeing as Scout had the right idea, he felt it safe to assume nothing was going to burn down and Scout was not going to suffocate. As he was dealing with the meat, the smell of the cigarette smoke wafted his way. Now, he was not one to care about smoking, he had done it himself on more than one occasion, but this smell intrigued him. Out of all the cigarette brands he had ever sampled, none of them were like this. In addition to the odd smell, Scout was oddly quiet and not running around the yard. Suddenly growing suspicious, Sniper turned around, completely ignoring the meat, to locate Scout.
"Oh buggers..."
Sitting on the floor and reclining against the side of a tree was Scout. However, unlike his usual behavior, he was completely relaxed and happily tilting his head back and forth. Sniper quickly checked to make sure the meat was not going to burn before quickly jogging up to Scout.
As he approached, the sweet smell grew stronger and Sniper took his akubra off to fan away the haze of smoke. Extending an arm, Sniper tapped Scout's shoulder. Instead of swatting the hand away or yelling about violation of personal space, Scout just slowly tilted his head so he was looking up at Sniper with a lazy grin.
"'Sup?...This shit...yeah...I don't think it's normal...Hee hee..."
"Yeah. I see that."
It was certainly different to hear Scout talk so slowly and with a slurred drawl. He cackled a little bit more before taking a really deep puff from the stick. Sniper watched slightly unsure as Scout was slow to exhale. Upon examining what he now knew was a joint, he saw that it was much shorter now.
"Alrighty, mate. I think that's enough. C'mon, give it 'ere."
He held out his hand, palm upturned, wanting Scout to give him the joint, however, Scout just looked dumbly at his hand, then at his own hand, and finally giving Sniper a five. Sniper sighed and Scout giggled. Realizing it was pointless to try and talk sense with him, Sniper reached over to try and grab the joint but was stopped when Scout kept pushing his face away and holding the joint as far away as possible. Sniper's sunglasses were slipping down his nose as he tried to reach the joint just out of reach.
As they were struggling, the door opened and the Heavy stepped out.
"Ooh, you are playing game, yes?"
Sniper had to yell over his shoulder.
"No! Not a game...Aargh, just make sure the meat isn't burnt!"
Heavy watched the two struggle on the ground for a little bit before looking over at the meat. By now, the meat was cooked and Heavy decided he should point it out.
"Meat is ready Sniper."
He just pointed to the grill while Sniper was still struggling to get the joint away from Scout. Not really wanting to rely on Heavy to finish things up, he really had no choice.
"Fine, just be a good bloke and put it...gah...on the plate and...oomph...take it inside!"
Sniper did not have time to watch and make sure everything was done right. After a few more minutes of struggling, Scout finally made a mistake. In his drug induced stupor, he was going to take another puff, but when he brought it just a little bit closer to himself, Sniper yanked it from his grasp and stood victoriously.
"Mmm, gimme!"
Scout was still on the ground and reached up pathetically. Sniper shook his head and grabbed Scout's upper arm to yank him up. When he got Scout standing, he directed Scout towards the indoors, checking the grill on the way in. It appeared that Heavy did a fine job getting the meat away from the fire and even extinguishing the grill. Satisfied with that, Sniper finally dragged Scout inside, who was now mumbling incoherently, and sat him down at the dining table. The others were already there and everybody looked up curiously at Sniper and Scout, especially Scout.
"So ze little scheiße is high like a kite."
Sniper gave Medic a reproving glare but all he received in return was a smug grin. Finally, Sniper was able to sit down and divvy up the meat. When he plopped the chicken onto Spy's plate, he shook his head. Spy just shrugged.
"What? I didn't know."
"Bloody liar..."
Only Scout heard his mumbling but was a little too far away mentally to care. Instead, he was happily poking at his steak, but not eating a thing. However, he was, for once, completely silent, save for the few random giggles. Despite Scout being high at the dinner table, conversations went on as usual with Sniper glancing over at Scout at random intervals. Medic seemed to notice what he was doing and commented with a smirk.
"Don't vorry. A little veed never hurt anybody. Unless zere is a fight, I vote ve alvays keep ze dummscheiße doped up."
Scout giggled at the funny sounding word while Sniper shook his head and sighed as all the hands at the table raised simultaneously.
A/N: So my reasoning behind Spy having weed is because he's so freakin' calm when he gets lit on fire. You have to be fairly doped up to calmly tell somebody you just spontaneously combusted. Also, how else do you fool the other team with just that mask? The answer, smoke weed, or perhaps something stronger, and people are high enough to not notice the piece of paper strapped to his face. Or, this could all be some weird idea I got when I was talking with a fellow classmate about the chemical composition of weed and the physiological effects it has on the human body. Fun stuff. Anyways, this was just an excuse to get Spy and Sniper some screen time. Sniper is so hot...Ahem, anyways, I hope you enjoyed the story and let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, complaints, other words starting with 'c'. Oh yeah, scheiße means shit in German in case you didn't know. Happy TF2 fighting!