Where Do We Go From Here?
By: nightwatchman2009
A/N: I'm so excited that there are people out there who like my fan fiction! Thank you so much for all of you that have read and reviewed or added me to a favorite or alert list. I really appreciate you all! It really gives me motivation to continue! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 3: Surprises
The next morning Buffy got out of bed a little later than usual and started getting dressed. As she got ready she considered what had happened the night before. She and Spike had just stood there together for awhile, comfortable in their own silence, before finally she said a quiet goodnight and went back upstairs. A lot had been left unsaid and Buffy knew that she'd have to talk with him sooner or later.
Downstairs, the other three slayers plus Faith and Dawn were moving about the kitchen getting cereal, toast and coffee or juice.
"Morning, Buffy," Amber said brightly, she was the only morning person out of the three girls. The other two quietly mumbled good morning as they stared blearily into there bowls of cereal. Dawn said nothing.
"Hey, B," Faith smiled, giving her a look that said she knew something. "You're a little late this morning…rough night?"
Dawn glanced up curiously. Buffy gave Faith a glare. Faith must have heard her late night footsteps down and up the stairs and misread it as Buffy going and giving Spike some happy time. "Faith, can I talk to you," Buffy said, wanting to clear things up before the day started.
Faith followed Buffy into the dining room.
"Gonna tell me the dirty little details now?" she asked with a grin.
"Nothing happened, Faith," Buffy sighed. "We just …talked," even though that wasn't really the word for it either since not a lot of talking was done.
Faith must have been able to tell that it was the truth, she made a face, "You're not as interesting as people claim you know?"
"Sorry I disappoint," Buffy said sardonically. "Look, would you mind training with the girls? At least for the first part of the day, I imagine Giles, Will, and Xander will be over and I'm gonna have some things to explain…"
"Not a problem, B," Faith nodded, shrugging. "I'd rather not be around for all the tears and emotions anyways."
Buffy smiled and rolled her eyes.
--
About ten minutes later, Faith had ushered all the girls outside and into the backyard. Dawn followed, presumably to watch as well as avoid Buffy. As much as they got on one another's nerves, it hurt Buffy that Dawn was upset. She'd have to talk to her later and sort things out.
Buffy put away all the food and started gathering the dishes by the sink to wash them. The whole time she did this Spike wasn't far from her thoughts.
--
Once Spike heard the backdoor shut, he went upstairs. He'd been awake since before he heard them start breakfast but he was trying to avoid being stared at first thing in the morning.
He opened the basement door to find Buffy washing dishes at the sink, her back to him. Glancing around he noticed she had lowered the shades in the windows for him, blocking out the morning light. He shut the door behind him and she turned around. Her hair was up in a ponytail, he liked it better loose like she'd had it the night before.
"Sleep okay?" she asked, wiping her hands off on a towel, abandoning the dishes. He could tell she was a bit nervous.
"Yeah, not bad…" Spike nodded.
Buffy's eyes suddenly widened a bit. "Oh! I should've gone over to the butcher's for you…we had breakfast and I just remembered—"
"Don't worry about it, Buffy. Honestly, I'm fine. I can always get some whenever…don't trouble yourself," Spike said, waving a dismissive hand.
Buffy was about to reply when they heard the front door open.
--
"Hey, Buff!" came Xander Harris' voice.
"Damn," Buffy hurried to the door. Xander stood on the mat, in his now signature eye patch, wiping his feet. "Xander, I need to tell you something," she said pulling him toward the kitchen.
"Buffy, I already know," Xander said, looking as if it were something quite obvious.
Buffy's brow furrowed. Had Dawn called and told him? "You know?" she asked, frowning still, amazed he wasn't already launching into some kind of speech.
"Yeah, and I don't think it's safe," Xander continued.
Spike was back and Xander's reaction was that it wasn't safe? "What do you mean it's not safe?" Buffy demanded.
"Hey don't get all upset. But Buffy, it's a motorcycle, they're dangerous," Xander said, still looking down at her as the entered the kitchen where Spike still stood. "I mean, I can't believe you just went out and bought one…you don't even drive."
Spike let out a low chuckle, Xander glanced up. "Oh hey Spi—AHHHH!" Xander shouted, after doing a double take. He stepped back and pointed a finger at Spike accusingly. "YOU!"
"Me," Spike replied, a big smirk on his face. He clearly was enjoying himself.
"Spike, knock it off," Buffy sighed.
"What's he doing here? What's going on? Is this a spell?" Xander demanded, staring at Spike with his fingers still pointed at him.
"No, it's not a spell. The amulet is what resurrected him, he's been in L.A. for the past five months," Buffy explained quickly.
Xander's mouth opened and closed several times, he looked remarkably like a fish or something.
"The look on his face—" Spike laughed.
"Spike, shut up," Buffy said, staring intently at Xander for his reaction.
Xander slowly brought his arm down so it lay at his side again, he looked rather pale. "So…so the whole motorcycle thing?"
"It's mine…" Spike said slowly, as if Xander was dim.
"Spike!"
Xander still looked like he couldn't quite wrap his mind around it. "I'm just gonna sit here," Xander pulled out a stool and sat at the counter. "And hope I wake up soon."
Buffy looked at Spike who was still smirking down at Xander. She jerked her head toward the dining room; Spike reluctantly tore his gaze away from Xander and followed.
"Could you try to be nice?"
"What? I'm not allowed to laugh? And this is Xander…I don't bloody well care if I piss him off," Spike said smiling a bit.
Buffy opened her mouth to retort when she paused. For the first time things seemed rather normal between them, this was familiar territory to her, the banter back and forth. Buffy smiled in spite of herself. Spike must've thought the same thing because he smiled back.
"Buffy, I—" Spike began, but broke off when the door opened again.
"Hi, Buffy," Willow said brightly, spotting her in the dining room. "Shouldn't you be out with the—whoa!" Willow walked in the room and gaped at Spike. She glanced at Buffy as if she were afraid Buffy would start yelling at her. "I didn't cast a spell, I swear! Buffy, you have to believe me!" Willow said quickly, her eyes looking anxious and pleading.
"It's not a spell," Buffy and Spike said in unison.
Willow's eyes were still huge. "Oh," she sighed with obvious relief.
Spike gave the brief explanation of what happened. Willow nodded. "Okay then…" she kept nodding trying to grasp it. "So…are you staying then?" she asked nervously.
Buffy and Spike exchanged glances.
"Yeah, I am I think," Spike nodded.
Willow smiled nervously and stepped forward. "Well…I'm glad you're back, what you did was…was…"
"Please, Red. Don't thank me," Spike waved a hand uncomfortably.
Willow nodded and bit her lip. Suddenly she turned to Buffy. "What's Xander gonna say when he finds out?"
"Oh, I already know," Xander said, standing at the doorway between the kitchen and dining room. "Well aware of this development…"
"When did you get in?" Willow looked back to Spike.
Once more the door opened again and Giles walked in.
"Bloody hell, you need fewer friends, Slayer. This is getting ridiculous," Spike said rolling his eyes.
"What are you all gathered in here for? Where are the girls?" Giles frowned in his Watcher-ly way.
Buffy, Willow and Xander all looked at Spike who rolled his eyes again and sighed. "I'm here! I'm alive. Alert the bloody papers…" he said with fake enthusiasm.
"Good Lord!" Giles exclaimed, whipping off his glasses and cleaning them meticulously before replacing them. "Is this a spe—"
"It's not a spell!" the other four exclaimed.
"Well alright then, no need to yell," Giles said, testily. "Well, Spike this is…this is certainly a surprise…how did this come about then?"
Buffy caught the look on Spike's face and hastily looked to Willow. "Will, why don't you explain and you and Giles and Xander can head to the living room, I'll be there in a sec," Buffy suggested.
"Uh…okay," Willow agreed, ushering Giles, who still looked like he was going to burst and the seams with questions. Xander looked suspiciously from Buffy to Spike before following.
Buffy looked up at Spike. "I'll talk to them, you're welcome to come too, but…"
"No, I'll just head downstairs. It's probably best if you deal with the Scoobies alone. I'll be up later," Spike said.
"Okay…"
"Buffy?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
Buffy gave him a small smile in response before leaving him.
--
"Buffy, do explain what has happened," Giles said impatiently, as soon as Buffy entered the room. He, Xander, and Willow were sitting side by side on the couch. Buffy found herself standing before them, feeling like she was about to give a lecture or something.
"Look, all I know is that he came last night after midnight, the amulet had resurrected him, he's been with Angel the past five months, and now he's here," Buffy explained.
"You'd think Angel'd be considerate enough to call you and give you the heads up," Xander said a bit scathingly like he expected nothing less from him.
"Xander, stop it,"
Willow said quietly. "You know it's easier for the two of them if
they don't talk…"
"Buffy," Giles cut in, clearly not
caring about Angel's role in any of this. "That is entirely
irresponsible of you. You should have questioned him far more
thoroughly. We can't even know for sure if that's really him!"
"I'm not stupid, Giles," Buffy said heatedly. "I wouldn't let him in my home, risking my sister's life as well as three other innocent girls, without knowing for sure it's him. And it is! I know it is and so do you!"
"Well what if another demon came back with him like it did when you were brought back, Buffy!" Giles yelled. "It could be here right now."
"I think after five months it would have made itself known, don't you?" Buffy snapped.
"Giles," Willow said tentatively. "It's not likely one did anyways…the amulet's spell is far different than the spell I used for Buffy…it—"
"Well we should still be researching," Giles exclaimed. "Look for information on the amulet, find out more of it's properties as well as search other means for bringing a person back to life—"
"No!" Buffy yelled.
"Buffy, what's wrong?" Willow asked worriedly, placing a hand on Giles' arm to stop him from jumping down Buffy's throat again.
"No…" Buffy said more calmly. "I don't want him this to be analyzed. He's not a research project…he's Spike and he's here…and I don't want him to feel like he's not trusted, not now," Buffy's eyes welled. "Not after what he's done…"
"Do you love him?"
Buffy blinked in surprise at Xander's forward question. Though he'd posed it as such she could tell he knew the answer before asking.
"Well, Xander I wouldn't—" Giles began.
"Giles…" Willow shushed him, still watching Buffy.
"Buffy?" Xander pressed.
"I…I'm not…I'm not sure…I haven't had time to…think. And if I do?" she challenged. "If I do are you going to make me feel like trash for it, Xander?"
"Oh Buffy no," Willow stood and hurried to Buffy, hugging her. "Xander, would never do that…"
"Xander?" Buffy repeated, looking at him over Willow's shoulder. Willow stepped away looking at Xander too.
Xander stared at Buffy for a full minute. "No…Buffy I wouldn't…I would never do that to you. I'm sorry I made it seem…it's just…it's just I guess I was upset…upset that Spike could come back…but Anya's not…"
"Xander," Buffy's eyes overflowed again as she held out her arms to him. He stood and embraced her holding her close. "I miss Anya too," she whispered to him. He kissed her forehead gently.
When Xander stepped away Buffy was left looking at Giles. Giles glanced between Willow, Xander, and Buffy. "What he did…was…well it certainly proved he could be selfless…and good, and I can't ever fault him for that. I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm sorry I questioned your judgment."
Buffy smiled gratefully, Giles' opinion meant just as much to her as her friends. She crossed over to give him a hug.
--
Spike was smoking downstairs. The yelling upstairs had died down; he wondered what the conclusion had been. He heard the door open, and much to his surprise Dawn came down the stairs
"Spike?"
"Did Buffy send you, niblet?" he asked taking a final drag and stubbing his cigarette out in an ashtray by his cot.
"No," Dawn shook her head. "But that's why I'm here…"
Spike looked at her silently. He was curious as to what this was all about, why Dawnie was so nervous. "Well, sit down and tell me then," Spike gestured to a spot next to him on his cot.
Dawn shook her head again. "I'd rather stand…" she said. She twisted her hands before finally coming out with it. "Look…I know last night it seemed like she was being cold towards you…but I wanted you to know about her after you died…cause I was angry at her for being like that to you…but then I was remembering today what it was like for her after you died."
"Dawn," Spike began, shifting uneasily. "You don't have to tell me—"
"No, listen! You need to hear it," Dawn insisted. She stood waiting to see if he'd protest again, Spike kept his mouth shut. "That night, she went home and shut herself in her room…then she cried."
Spike didn't want to hear that. He didn't want to hear that Buffy was in pain. He himself had caused her enough pain for more than one lifetime. But of course, she wasn't crying for him…
"She cried all night. And the weeks after were so hard for her. Hard for all of us, but hardest on her I think. Everyone that died for her, died for her cause…I had never seen her look so guilty or so sad," Dawn continued. "And I know that she was grieving for everyone…but I think she grieved for you the most. What you did meant more to here than you'll ever know," Dawn said looking directly at him. "I could here her sometimes saying your name in her sleep…she kept saying 'I'm sorry, Spike'"
Spike let out a shudder and closed his eyes at that intimate detail, feeling like he had no right to know such things. He covered his face with his hands in disbelief and anguish. He didn't want to cause her pain. He never wanted her to mourn for him. He could have staked himself right then.
"Dawn…" he said with a shaky breath, still not looking up at her.
He felt her warm hand on his shoulder. Dawn's hand. This girl who had suddenly become such an insightful, mature young woman.
"I just wanted you to know…cause I don't think you understand what you did for her…how much it meant to her…" Dawn said.
Just as he began to feel hot tears on his hands, Dawn's hand moved off his shoulder and he could hear her footsteps head back upstairs, leaving Spike in stunned disbelief.
--
That's chapter three! I hope you all enjoyed it. I hope my characterization was good especially since I brought in a few more characters. And I hoped you all liked my choice in using Dawn as the one to speak to Spike at the closing. It got me emotional just writing this… So keep reviewing me and letting me know how you're liking this!