A/N : Julie does not have Frank Atwood's child in this AU.
This was written quite early in the morning so please forgive my mistakes.
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I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart That's still beating
Broken by Lifehouse
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Kirsten Cohen wasn't ready for that phone call on Saturday night. Nothing could have prepared her for it.
When the police officer told her Sandy was dead, she wasted no time doubting him.
She didn't say 'No, it can't be true.
He just left here.
I just kissed him goodbye.
He was just going to the store.'
It was like her heart knew the whole time and was just waiting for her brain to learn the news. As the words began to press themselves into her mind and images of Sandy fluttered in her vision, her heart began the painful separation. Its beating slowed until Kirsten thought it might just stop completely, not that she could find a piece of logic to make herself oppose it.
Her daughter, who had been restlessly turning and kicking with, what Sandy had written off earlier as 'cabin fever', stopped all motion as well. Kirsten put a hand over her belly, holding onto one of three pieces of Sandy she still had.
She doesn't remember Julie bustling into the kitchen, just home from an evening at the gym. She rattled on for about two minutes while making herself a protein drink before she realized Kirsten was in a trance and wasn't listening to her. She stood in front of her best friend then waved a hand in front of her face.
When Kirsten still stood transfixed, Julie's stomach knotted and her heart raced. Something was wrong. She heard a muffled voice coming from the phone pressed to Kirsten's ear. When she pulled the receiver from Kirsten's hand, Julie had no idea how much her own life was about to change, how much responsibility she would now have to Kirsten and her entire family.
As she heard the news, Julie's eyes welled with tears as Kirsten's remained dry. She called Ryan and Seth downstairs. She gently gave them the news, excused herself to the living room, and let them be with their mother.
Seth was first to approach Kirsten. She still hadn't truly broken out of her silent shock but she accepted his hug and even reciprocated, burying her face in his shirt. She pulled away from Seth and walked toward Ryan, knowing that even after four years with them, he wasn't going to initiate. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder, grabbing his hair and pulling him toward her in a hug. He engulfed her quickly in his arms, holding onto her tight, mindful of her daughter, Sandy's daughter.
Her boys left to identify the body at the hospital. Julie watched as Kirsten ascended the stairs toward her bedroom.
Kirsten closed the door and crawled onto the bed. She laid on top of the covers, still in full wardrobe including her shoes. She pulled her legs up toward her belly though they couldn't go far. She continued to stare at a bedpost until her eyes drooped close and sleep overtook her.
She slept, though not soundly. She was in a limbo, technically asleep but still able to hear her surroundings.
She heard Seth and Ryan return. She heard them open her door quietly to check on her. She felt Ryan cover her with a blanket, not daring to wake her and move her to a comfortable position. She heard Seth bring her a glass of water. She heard them both sniffling.
She heard the rummaging through glassware and glass bottles. She felt the longing to join them. She heard them finally go to their rooms to try to go to sleep.
Hours after no one had moved, Kirsten awoke. In the dim lit room, she observed her surroundings. She was cold and alone. She looked around the bed, noticing that she was clearly the only one who had occupied it all night. Sandy hadn't come home. He would never come home. They would never share a bed again. For the rest of her life, she would wake up without him.
With this harsh truth, the separation of her heart was complete. It sat in her chest as two pieces with ragged edges and tattered strands that had once fit together perfectly.
Finally, Kirsten began to cry. She cried for herself, a widow, a soul without its match, a heart without its other half, a hand without one to hold. She'd have to grow old without him, raise the children without him.
She cried for her boys. Fatherless and as a result, practically motherless. Who knew what she'd be worth without their father? She cried for all the advice they were going to miss. She mourned all the lame joking and witty banter between them.
She cried for Seth, who'd never known such pain.
She cried for Ryan, who'd never known a father before Sandy.
She cried for her unborn daughter, who would never meet her daddy. She'd never meet the other half of the chemistry experiment that created her. She'd never meet the man who loved her with all his heart before he'd even met her. She would miss the voice who sang 'Hopelessly Devoted to You' to calm her down at 2 a.m.
Knowing how much pain Kirsten had to be feeling, Julie found it difficult to even consider going to sleep. She decided to crack open Kirsten's door and check on her. When she found Kirsten sobbing on her bed, Julie wasted no time entering and sitting down beside her. She stroked the blonde hair delicately.
"How am I supposed to do this?" Kirsten sobbed. "How do I raise his children without him?"
Julie said nothing, knowing Kirsten didn't want an answer.
"Why did this happen? Why would we be given a child, a daughter, if he was going to die before he'd even meet her?" She gasped and sniffled.
Julie stayed quiet, letting Kirsten mourn in her own way. However, Julie knew the answer to her question, which months later, she would share with Kirsten. Sophie was more than just a blessing for Sandy and Kirsten. She was a savior for Kirsten. The daughter kept her mother going. Not that Kirsten didn't love her sons but the powers that be knew that Kirsten's survival without Sandy would require someone who completely and totally needed her 100% of the time. In short, Sophie was what kept her alive.