Out of Sight
By: PhoenixJustice
Buffy the Vampire Slayer is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and other things that are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.
Warning: Rated M for language, violence, future sexual content, etc.
Pairing: eventual Spike/Buffy Summers, Willow/Tara, Xander/Anya, mentions of past Angelus/William, etc.
Setting: During No Place Like Home. Spoilers up season 10 of BTVS, season 5 of Angel, and Angel and Faith.
Summary: Given the gift of life again, Buffy goes back to make things right-but things don't always go the way you expect them to.
A/N: Italics for thoughts and flashbacks. Bold for dreams.
Part One of the Out of 'verse
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Chapter Three
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The room is completely dark as they first walk through and her eyes don't adjust to it, leading her to realize it's a magically induced darkness. If she didn't trust Spike she might have ran straight out of there; her fear of small, dark places had gotten smaller-no pun intended-but it was still a bother on occasion (compounded by the fact that she had had to crawl and dig out of her own grave. That certainly hadn't helped.)
She jumps as she feels a hesitant hand on hers, gripping it. She grips it back tightly. She could use the excuse of this being an unfamiliar situation and place (and magically induced) as her excuse and he could use the excuse that he needed to make sure she got through alright.
Eventually the hallway-there was no other word for it in her mind to explain the space. Magic was weird-ends and there is light. He lets go of her hand, coughing a bit. He fumbles his hands around in his pockets before lighting a cigarette.
"I'm surprised there's not a no smoking policy here." She says, amused.
"There is." A decidedly female voice, cultured and mature sounding, says ahead of them. "But William is always fond of breaking it."
She walks further in with Spike and sees a woman standing there. She was very tall and statuesque, wearing a long red dress that highlighted her curves very well. Her hair was a weird shade of burgundy and she had green eyes like the brightest grass.
"Yeah, well there's not a policy of tearing a person who smokes into little pieces so..." Spike says with a careless shrug, letting out a long stream of smoke.
Buffy waits for a moment, looking at the woman politely, before looking at Spike, brow raised. He coughs and hastily puts out his cigarette.
"Right. My bad, Slayer. This is Lissa. She's the owner of the place and general 'dealer' of this game."
Lissa smiles at them both, a genuine looking smile. She seemed pretty nice, given that she was a vengeance demon (and she wasn't working with D'Hoffryn?)
"Nice to finally meet you in person, Miss Summers. I've heard about the Slayer for a long time."
"Only good things, I hope." She jokes.
The older woman laughs.
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They're led by Lissa to what looked like a blackjack table, only the felt was a rich, dark shade of red instead of the usual green. The demon takes a seat at the dealer's table and Buffy takes one of the only two seats, left to Spike's right.
"You must be something special, Miss Summers. This is the first time William has willingly played a hand at my table. Usually it's one of my workers instead." The older woman says with a laugh.
William? She didn't call him Spike like everyone else did. It had a feeling of intimacy that she didn't like. Surely they hadn't... She feels her face grow red. It was none of her business, despite the fact that she loved him.
She pauses. Love? She glances quickly at Spike. Certainly she loved the Spike she had known over the years, the Spike she had lost. But although this was still Spike, he was not exactly the Spike she had known. Was she confusing her lingering feelings for the man she had lost for the man in front of her whom had yet not been lost or been known intimately to her?
She swallows. She could see it though. See the hints of the man he was, the man he had hidden from everyone for so long, even himself (even without the soul.) He was struggling within himself but he still wanted to do right by her. Wanted to- How could she not love him, simply for wanting to be a better man for her? How could she not love this man in front of her, who had extended his trust to her already, despite not knowing her, not really. He was putting everything out there.
For her.
"Yeah," Spike says, drawing her out of her thoughts. "Well, you usually drive a hard bargain."
The woman laughs again. A moment passes and she folds her hands, leaning in to look at Buffy, her eyes growing serious.
"And what are you here for, Miss Summers? What do you need?"
She swallows against that piercing gaze; it felt like it could see right through her and see everything underneath.
"I need money."
She could use money. What she actually wanted or needed, on the other hand, was sitting right next to her.
Lissa sits back, humming a bit under her breath. "I see. It must be serious if you need things this quickly. You want to take care of Glorificus quickly then?"
She freezes. The woman knew about Glory. Knew her full name, even. She was more than met the eye, even for a vengeance demon.
"How'd you know?" She asks, hoarsely.
"I know many things, Buffy Summers." Lissa says, a gleam in her eye. "It's both why I am sought after and why there are such strict codes to get into my home." She glances at Spike who too looked suitably stunned. "Leave us now, William. We have a game to play."
"Excuse me?" He says incredulously. "I'm not leaving the Slayer."
"It was not a request." Lissa says. Her voice was not cool or angry. Merely speaking a truth.
He turns wide eyes to Buffy before getting thrown back and out into the darkness. She leaps up, whirling to glare at the demon.
"What did you just do?" She demands. Strong demon or not, having just come back after years of exile or not, she wouldn't stand for anyone hurting the man she loved.
Lissa waves a careless hand. "He is fine. He is simply outside of the room. No harm done to him. The policy of no-violence is one I keep as well, Miss Summers."
She seemed truthful enough but it still didn't sit well with Buffy. Spike was her only ally right now and to be without him hurt her.
"I wanted to speak to you alone. I assume you do as well; it is not like you want him to know of your love for him yet do you?"
Her eyes widen. "How...?"
Lissa taps her flawless forehead. "Vengeance demon, remember? Other things as well, but I am also a vengeance demon. We can read into feelings very easily."
Oh.
"That and I am a bit of a clairvoyant, one could say. You have questions, yes, but you also have things you need, correct?"
She nods. "I do, but..." She hesitates. "I don't know what sort of game you play and I don't have the money to play it." Spike didn't have much money at the moment, but he at least had some. She assumed it'd have been enough to play the game, whatever it was.
"This game isn't paid by money, Miss Summers. Did William not tell you that?"
Her lips purse. William again. "No. He didn't." She says stiffly.
Lissa tilts her head back and laughs. "Oh. Love. What an amazing thing to always see." She says warmly. "You have nothing to fear from me, Miss Summers. I have no designs on William. I come from a much older time than you were born into, so my sense of propriety is an older one."
Which explained the victorian style, she supposed.
She seemed to be telling the truth, which helps to calm her down. She nods at the demon.
"So what is the game paid with then?"
Lissa's smile turns a bit sharper. "That all depends on what I want. Things like money are easily gotten. What I like to get from people is different. It can be any number of things."
"Then what do you want from me?"
Lissa pulls out a deck of cards. They looked quite old, but still in good shape. She shuffles them with a practiced motion.
"Each pool will be placed with information, not money. Sometimes I might ask for memory or just for information alone. Sometimes I will ask for emotion. The things that make up Buffy Summers." She must have a hesitant look on her face, because Lissa smiles. "These are not things that will be taken from you permanently. But the very nature of things I might ask to see or ask you about are obviously personal and private. These are the things that interest me. Do you agree to my terms?"
She bites on her lip in thought. It was a tempting proposition. She was still being given the option of backing out, but she already knew that she wouldn't. There were things she needed, things that she wouldn't be able to get otherwise (not without alerting the others to her presense and that could be a devastating thing. She couldn't take the risk with that. Not just yet.)
"Your word that everything that is me will remain mine?"
Lissa nods immediately. "I swear it as Lissandra du Lac, the woman. I swear it as Lissanka, the vengeance demon."
She nods. "Alright then. Let's play."
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He can only wait outside, sitting against the wall, glaring at the door. Sodding magic users. He feels a pang of worry for Buffy-not one because she'd get physically harmed in any way, but Lissa could be very whimsical in the things she wanted sometimes. It was the main reason why he never played her game, if possible, and why he generally avoided this place. She had already wheedled some embarassing things about his past before and he had wanted to avoid that happening again.
Of course though, when it came to Buffy (present or future) he'd do just about anything for her. Even come back to a place he hadn't planned to to help her. But now? All he can do is sit his hands on his sodding goddamn knees and wait.
He closes his eyes, running a hand through his hair (he wasn't one to want to mess up his carefully gelled head but running his hand through his hair when he was stressed was a habit that had been hard to break, even after becoming a vampire.)
After what feels like hours, but certainly only had to be a short while, the door opens. He's immediately on his feet. The Slayer looked fine physically (as he expected) but he stops as he sees her red eyes. She had been crying. His jaw clenches and he reaches for her without thinking. She grabs his hand but doesn't look at him. This...this was okay, right? Friends comforted each other like this, right?
"You okay?" He asks quietly.
She nods slowly.
"Get everything you need?"
She looks at him.
"Almost." She whispers. "But I have enough for now, yes."
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She's pretty quiet on the way back and he can only begin to imagine what the vengeance demon extracted from her. It had to be pretty deep, to affect her like that. He wanted to know but didn't want to push; their ties as allies were still so new, despite the fact that she knew him longer than he knew her.
They back to his crypt easily and he's in the midst of heading up the ladder to the main level when he stops.
"Sp-"
"Shh."
He cocks his head, listening.
"Spike? Where are you?" Harmony's voice rings out. He holds back a groan with difficulty. Now of all times? He looks down at Buffy who looks at him wide eyes.
"Give us a mo." He says to Buffy, whispering as quietly as he could. Slayer had good hearing, more than a regular human, so she'd hear a bit easier than a normal human would.
She licks her lips a bit before nodding. "Be careful." She mouths.
Normally he'd have scoffed at that. It was Harmony, after all. But he had just so recently scorned her, so he couldn't take any risks; even with one as ditzy as Harmony.
"Promise." He mouths back. She smiles, putting a light feeling in him seeing it. Felt good to see her smile after seeing her obvious distress for the past little while.
He climbs up, giving a very quick glance to make sure Buffy wasn't seen at the bottom of the ladder. She wasn't. She had already moved. Smart girl, he thinks fondly.
Harmony was wearing a heavy coat, despite the weather (so she wasn't as stupid as she appeared sometimes, then. She knew enough to keep herself well covered while trying to travel through daylight. It was especially dangerous for her, being a pretty new vampire and all; with him being both a Master vampire as well as one as old as he was, he wouldn't burn up as quickly as a fledgling or someone like her would (though he'd burn up, all the same.)
"What do you want, Harmony?" He asks wearily.
She glares at him. "I'm here for the rest of my things." She picks up a box off the ground, which she had apparently thrown what little she had left in the crypt into. She turns around to leave and he almost feels like he wants to apologize to her, which is surprising to him. While she was sometimes annoying, there were things still didn't feel good about, even as a vampire. He was a one person man and although he never saw what he did with Harmony as a relationship, it was obvious that she did.
"Harm."
She pauses, turning to look back at him with teary eyes. Good fucking god but she could cry at the drop of a hat. But a voice-which sounded suspiciously like Buffy (so she was his conscience? He wasn't surprised)-tells him to be nice to her.
"I wasn't fair to you, yeah? Find you someone better." He tells her. "Someone who can properly appreciate you. You're-a good bird. You'll find someone much better than old Spike treated you."
She sniffs. "And they'll like my unicorn collection?"
He nearly grimaces but holds it back. "They'll help you pick out more of 'em. Guaranteed."
She smiles through her tears. "You know...maybe you're not a complete poopy head. Whoever you're with now...maybe they make you better."
Huh. Who knew Harmony Kendall could be insightful sometimes (albeit being a tad wrong about the details.)
He gives her a smile in return; probably the most genuine one he had ever given her. "They do." And she did, even with just her smiles and promises of friendship.
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He gets back down the ladder and into the room to see Buffy sitting on the bed, looking over a paper she had apparently been writing on before. She smiles appreciatively at him and he preens at that. He had done the right thing then; his conscience, or whatever was left of it, seemed to approve of it too. He sits on the bed as well, close but not too close-didn't want to invade her space (he was still trying to learn where his boundaries with the Slayer lied.)
"What're you writing?" He asks, curiously.
"Oh, you know," She says airily. "Stuff."
He raises a brow at her and she snorts, before turning a bit more serious. "A to-do list for-hey!" He tries to reach for it and she pulls it back, giving only a brief glimpse of some of the words on it. One of the words instantly strikes him and it makes his stomach bottom out.
Riley.
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Writing down things that needed to be done was both easier and harder than she thought it would (maybe harder because she had also been listening as well as she could to Harmony and Spike's conversation? It eased when they were finished. He didn't want her. Harmony. He didn't want Harmony. Now if he would only say he wanted her-)
She looks down at the list. She had pulled away because she wasn't quite ready for Spike to see it. She wanted to talk to him about some of the things she had dealt with, not him making assumptions by seeing things on paper. Like with Riley. That subject hadn't been brought up yet and she was surprised he hadn't yet. Honestly, Riley had been so completely low on her list when brought back. But still, she needed him, even if only for something that had nothing to do with a relationship.
They hadn't been together for a very long time and whatever lingering feelings of anything other than friendship had washed away a long time ago. She had never been in love with him, had tried to be because he had been in love with her, but it had never happened and it had never worked. But they had become good friends and good allies.
He was a subject she was not sure about bringing up with Spike yet, afraid to break whatever they were starting to build together (even if it was just as friends), because she knew he'd get jealous even if-when-she told him that she had no designs on Riley at all. Like...at all. Her eyes were only for Spike.
She was just afraid to tell him that.
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"So? Plans now then? Now that you've got money an' all?" Lissa had packed the Slayer with a credit card with assurances that she could get whatever she needed, no matter the cost. He had never seen the demon give away something like that; whatever Buffy had given her, it had obviously been enough for Lissa to give more than she had to any other client.
"Picking up a few things. Clothes, mostly, but maybe some other things here and there. The Magic Box is the biggest seller of magical items in town, but there's other smaller ones I could probably get away with going to without it getting out about the Slayer or Buffy Summers (depending on who saw me) going in there."
Was that really all? He could feel the burn of anger and jealousy warring in him again. Sodding Soldier Boy. Was she leaving so she could run up to him and cry out all her woes? Was he just the substitute until she was well enough to see the boy?
"Spike?" He jerks as she touches his arm, feeling it like a brand on him. She looks at him with worried eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Fine." He says shortly. And there-shit. There went the soulful eyes at him. Fuck. He softens a bit. "I'm fine, pet. Just thinking about what I could do in the meantime."
Her eyes light up, almost mischievously. "Oh. That? I know something you can do. Kinda important."
He waits for it.
"Go help me-uh, present me, that is-at the Magic Box (enter from the back, that's important) fight some demons that look invisible to me (long story, but you'll hear about it once things are over in the fight) and punch Tara at the right time."
He stares at her.
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Funny how it felt like ages since he'd been to the place, when it hadn't been that long at all. New perspectives and all. It had only been the better part of a day and a half in the future Slayer's company and he was already feeling-something. Something different. Couldn't quite place it, but it was there nevertheless. And he liked her company. She was open and had a ready smile for him; a bloke could get used to those sorts of things (especially after knowing the alternative.)
He gets into the back of the Magic Box and the first thing he sees is Buffy fighting Lei-Ach demons and is struck by her, as he always was. It was just this time that he was thrown by it, seeing the Buffy he knew of the present, eyes and everything else trying to discover the differences that lie in her and her future self.
He watches her fight, as drawn to it, the beauty, the deadly beauty of it, as he always was but stops when he sees she's starting to struggle a bit against three of them. He heads into the fray, tackling one of them as it tries to stab her. She pushes one off of her before getting up and throwing it hard against the wall, where it doesn't stir any longer.
He starts to say something to her when she just runs past him, as tangled up in the demon he was fighting as he was.
"You're welcome!" He shouts, a bit annoyed. Honestly. And he quickly realizes one significant difference already; future Buffy was always quick (and honest) to thank him whereas the present Buffy did absolutely nothing of the sort. She still saw him exactly as he had been when he first arrived in Sunnydale, not seeing the differences.
He just had to keep at it. Eventually she'd see how much he'd changed and- He stops, pushing the demon off of him. And...and... and what, then? He feels confused all of a sudden and shakes his head. No time for confusion now. He's quick to stab the demon to death (feeling a sharp thrill as he does so. Felt good to let out a little aggression) and make his way out to the front of the store.
Just in time to hear a man ask what the demons were.
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The outlet mall was not her usual choice of clothing shopping but she was under many constraints right now. Like time and the fact that she had to do her best to not be seen by anyone she knew (a visit to a magic shop that wasn't the Magic Box had to be in the cards soon as well. Surely they'd have something to help disguise her to look like someone else when she needed to. Hopefully. Ugh. Why couldn't Polyjuice Potion be a real thing?)
She picks out a quick selection of jeans, shirts, underclothes, socks, and sleep clothing-determinedly staying away from the naughtier looking sleepwear with a blush. That stuff was definitely off the cards right now. And really, she had to focus on other things at the moment as well. Like how things would go with Tara and the others. She could only hope her being around Spike hadn't affected what would happen in a bad way. Tara was family and she deserved to be treated as good as any of them.
She had always lamented her loss, her death, especially later. Both for Willow as well as herself (and for those like Dawn who too would have liked another sister like figure.) Willow had moved on from Tara's loss but she had never moved on, not completely. Tara had been her great love and she had lost her. She had never loved anyone else like that again. She had taken lovers but had never had the closeness with them that she shared with Tara.
And Buffy, after losing Spike, could completely understand why. How could you ever get close to someone who wasn't your literal other half, who understood you completely? So yeah, this time she was determined to have things done better for everyone. She never wanted to see any of her family be that unhappy again.
Speaking of family... After getting her shopping done, she finds herself moving onto Revello Drive. It was stupid, she knew, and probably more than a bit dangerous, but she still couldn't help herself. She looks at the front of the house longingly. Her mother was in there. The desire to see her and hug her, after knowing she never would have the opportunity again, was a great one.
She couldn't see her. Not now. Maybe there would be a chance she could later. But not now. She couldn't see her now but there was something she could do for her now. She pulls out one of the other few things she had bought. A cell phone. She types down a number, surprised she still remembers it.
"Sunnydale Hospital? Yeah, this is Buffy Summers. You've been treating-or, excuse me, not treating my mother. Yeah. You're going to get me the doctor on the line I want to talk to and then we're going to go from there-"
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"Looks like the shopping went well." He drawls, seeing the many bags she was carrying. So many so that any normal person wouldn't have been able to deal with the weight. But she was the Slayer and she was strong.
She rolls her eyes. "Well I had to make sure I had enough stuff for awhile." She sets the bags down and waves the credit card, grinning. "Could even get you something, if we have the time."
He raises a brow. "Yeah?" A Slayer willing to buy some things for a vampire? The world got stranger every day.
"Yep." She kneels down to rifle through the bags. "So how did it go at the Magic Box? I assume it went well or you'd have said something immediately."
"Think I did right. Helped take care of the demons you mentioned and punched Glinda "
She pauses in the middle of pulling out a shirt to look at him. "And it went okay after that? Her dad and them left?"
"Yeah. Not a good sort then, I guess?"
"Ugh. Definitely not. They were really abusive towards her. It was a wonder she managed to leave her house when she did." Her face goes distant, obviously remembering something, before shaking her head. She looks at him, an impish look in her eyes. It makes his non-beating heart want to start pumping in response. She really knew how to get a bloke going.
"I hope you're prepared to share your dresser space." She says with a cheeky grin.
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"Can I ask you something, pet?" He asks her as she finishes putting the last set of folded clothes in his dresser, like she had 'warned' him she would. He hadn't seemed to mind all that much, actually. It had been hard for her not to stare in the drawers for a moment; his and hers. Their clothes sitting side by side. So domestic. So...intimate. She has to hold back a shiver.
"Of course." She says immediately. Besides her feelings-her true feelings-for him, she was willing to answer just about anything else. She wanted him to trust her, after all.
He pauses and she wonders what he's going to ask. Maybe it'll be about the elephant in the room named Riley Finn. Or maybe he'll get the courage to ask her about his and her relationship and feelings-
"Why'd you come on your own?"
Or that. Not what she was expecting.
She swallows. "There was no choice in the matter. Or-maybe there would have been, if there had been more time. But I don't think so. Pretty sure it was always just going to be me. I was...alone."
His brows furrow. She licks her lips and continues. "I was fighting a great Evil. Capital E Evil. I was alone. I somehow managed to kill it but it hurt me. I was-dying and then an Emissary of the Powers arrived and told me I was given a boon and allowed to choose any time but the one I had come from to go back to. To fix the balances."
She can feel him come up near her as she stands at the dresser, still not looking at him.
"Why were you alone? Where were your Scoobies?" She can hear the unsaid Where was I? without him having to say it. "And what balances got all out of whack?"
She's silent for a moment, swallowing hard against a lump in her throat, memories of her many, many years alone creeping back on her. This here, with Spike, even doing something insignificant like putting away clothes was everything to her. Because she had thought-with good reason-that she had lost him. Had lost everything meaningful to her. But she had been given another chance. That was-
She jumps as she feels his cool hand on her bare arm and she turns to look at him. His look of worry and understanding makes her want to do nothing more than be wrapped in his arms and it's only with great difficulty that she holds herself back.
"Hey. Didn't mean-didn't mean to pry if it was bad." He murmurs. He starts rubbing her arms, seemingly not noticing he was doing so. "Just wanted to know. That's my fault, Slayer."
She shakes her head rapidly. "No. No, it's okay. It's not you or your fault. I was just-remembering. It happened so recently to me, it's hard not to remember it. I was alone because..." She lets out a breath. "Because I had been exiled by an Evil force. I spent decades alone, Spike. Under a skin that wasn't my own. No powers. Only left with my memories. Sometimes-"
Her jaw clenches. "Sometimes I'd think I was going crazy. That all my memories of Sunnydale, of my friends-" Of you. "were the fake thing. But then I'd do a move; didn't have the impact without my powers, of course, but it was still something I couldn't know unless I was in fact Buffy Summers."
She looks at him and sees him looking at her with something like a horrified fascination.
"And I had to fix the balances, because there was so much residual and continuing damage from the First Evil. We didn't realize it at first, of course, after we left Sunnydale; those of us that were left anyway." Her eyes fill as she goes through the memory, her last memory of Spike in Sunnydale, holding hands with him as he literally set himself ablaze to save the world.
Her Champion.
"I had died for the second time a couple years prior-thanks in part to Glory."
His eyes widen and his hands tighten on her. She can see his jaw working.
"Once I died and was brought back by Willow, it made a huge imbalance in the world. Not like my first death. My first death was a natural one and me coming back didn't affect anything, other than creating a second Slayer at the same time. Kendra and then later Faith. But that was okay because the 'Slayer line' the line that would continue the next Slayer and the next would go through Faith and not me, so a balance was restored. But once I was brought back through magic it disrupted everything."
"So you're here to stop Glory."
She nods.
"And to prevent myself from dying."
He looks at her with bleak eyes, shaking his head at her. "No. You're not." He says heavily. "You're ensuring that even if you die, that you won't be resurrected."
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I hope you enjoyed this!
Let me know what you thought!
-PhoenixJustice