The next day as the day drew to a close and with relief Christy dismissed the school, the noise level grew to nearly deafening as the children streamed out into the yard and scattered to there home and to what ever dinner that awaited them.

She rested her head on the desk for a minute; it had been a hard day, Sam Houston had been cutting up and the other boys had followed only too readily, even Bessie and Claire were fidgeting and talking, to tell the truth Christy had released the class ten minutes earlier than she should have, but she just did not feel as if she could stand it any longer without loosing her temper, thank goodness Lundy had not decided to come on this day, she was sure it would have sent her to David for help. And she did not relish the lecture she would likely get from him if she had needed to call him.

She started to sort her papers and put them in her bag, when a shadow darkened her doorway; she looked up and saw doctor MacNeil walking toward her.

"Neil!" she exclaimed in surprise."What are you doing here?"

He strode toward her with his smile that made her heart skip a beat, "I was asked by your preacher to come in and look at you and see if you are well, seems he feels you have been acting uncharacteristically lately and he asked me while I was up here to have a look at you, discreetly of course, so as you wont suspect, but as I prefer to be rather more direct than that, I thought I would just ask how you were." He pulled up a chair and sat down close to the desk. "Well Miss Huddleston, I am waiting, will you be requiring my medical services or not?"

Christy sat there, torn between being furious at David and amused at Neil's treatment of the situation.

"Well Doctor". She said finally with a teasing note in her voice. "I am perfectly well, as you can see; I do not feel in need of any medical intervention.Thank you very much"

He smiled at her again in his friendly way. "So, if you are so healthy, why am I being asked to check up on you?"

She shook her head in annoyance "I really have no idea, I took a walk and was out to long, David got worried."

She suddenly looked up "Miss Alice was not in on this was she?"

Doctor Mac Neil laughed his deep laugh. "No, Of course not, Alice would not be involved in something so clandestine, besides she left to go visit the Lower Gap this afternoon, she won't be back for two or three days."

Christy shook her head in frustration, she had known for days Miss Alice was leaving, she had just forgotten it, that had been happening a lot lately, facts seemed to go through her mind like water in a sieve.

Unbeknown to her she was being scrutinized by keen blue eyes during the dialog.

"Is something the matter Christy?" he asked, taking in her reaction at Miss Alice's departure.

"Oh, no, I just forgot she was leaving today was all, how is everyone in the Cove?" She asked a little too brightly.

They discussed some of the families that he had been to see on his rounds, and the up coming cold weather.

The whole time his eyes never wavered from her; a slight frown creasing his forehead, there was a certain indefinable something that seemed to be amiss, but he could not put his finger on it. She appeared as healthy as he had ever seen her, so it was not a health related issue. At least not one he could easily identify.

Christy finished putting her papers in order and got up to clean the chalk board

She was wiping it down and then started the difficult task of trying to reach the very top, a part she could never get to, but David always wrote on, it was a minor source of annoyance to her that he never seemed to remember that she had trouble reaching this high, she was standing on her tiptoes stretching up to get as high as she could, when the rag was taken from her hand and she realized that Neil had come up behind her, she was sandwiched between him and the board. She could smell a whiff of leather and soap around him, it was a pleasant smell, and it brought home how he was an integral part of the cove.

Suddenly she realized that he was standing very close to her, almost pressing her against the chalk board, she looked at him for a fleeting second then hastily stepped to the side.

An amused look came over the doctors face, and for a moment he seemed to be considering teasing her, but then he changed his mind. He finished wiping down the board for her.

"You know Miss Huddleston; you really should consider having one of your taller boys clean this for you."

"Yes, I usually do, but today I just forgot to catch one of them before they bolted out of the door."

The doctor put the rag on its nail and bent over to pick up her bag, his eyebrows rose in astonishment, "You are stronger than you look, this is as heavy as a young pig!"

Christy laughed for the first time in ages it seemed, she was surprised how much lighter she felt after it.

This fact was not lost on the doctor.

They started out the schoolhouse and Christy winced and shaded her eyes as the bright light hit her.

"Headache?" asked the doctor.

Christy nodded and replied, "It was a long day" with a wry smile.

" Ah, I see, I thought Sam Houston seemed unusually full of vinegar as he passed me.Well, I happen to have the perfect treatment for that!" And suddenly taking a sharp turn, the doctor started off toward the pond still carrying her bag.

"What are we doing?" Christy panted as she stumbled after him, trying to avoid the worst of the dried mud clods that surrounded the pond.

"We are going to a favorite place of mine." He said with his smile.

"Ah, here we are." he said

Christy looked around her in astonishment she had no idea that there was a place like this so close to the mission.

Cattails had grown up all around the edge, and a trees dense branches dipped low touching the tips of the cattails, it formed a perfect cave. It was cool and the sun was not able to penetrate the coverings of leaves.

He sat down and looked at her, "Well, Christy, what you think of it?"

She smiled, "I love it; I never suspected that there was a place like this here, but…"she looked hesitantly at the mud that the doctor had sat down on so readily, "Ah, I can see have a problem, don't we, It would never do for you to sit here, "He thought for a second then said, "I will be right back."

Christy stood in the shade, looking out over the water, her mind lost in the tests she needed to grade, and the lessons she needed to write out for the next day.

She heard a scraping noise behind her and turned to see Neil dragging a log toward her, she watched him approach her, and the sun was catching his flecks and highlighting his

red hair. Then he entered the shade under the tree and it darkened to auburn.

He pulled up the log under tree. "It is not the best seat, but it is better than nothing, why don't you try it out?"

She sank onto it gratefully," It is perfect, Thank you Neil."

He looked at her quickly, with an unreadable expression in his eyes. Then as quickly as it came it was gone.

He sat down beside her in silence. They both looked out over the water.

A dragon fly swooped down and brushed the surface of the water with its wings, the wind blew softly, sending a feathering effect over the glass like surface of the pond. There was a distinctive 'ploop' of a frog jumping in, Christy could not see where it was but the tell tail ripples spread out from the frogs entry point.

The water glittered in the hot sunshine like diamonds, ordinarily she would have enjoyed the sight, but with her head hurting so badly she really wished there would be some cloud cover soon. She was still puzzled over what was bothering her so much, why everything seemed off centered in her life at the moment. Why God was so far away from her, she wondered if it had to do with her being raised as a Christian all of her life, there was always a set of expectations she had in her life ,maybe it was because she was realizing that all of the expectations that she was raised with were false ,and it was causing her to doubt everything, in a way she supposed it could be good for her, it would be far better to actually believe and experience the truth of life rather than live it according to the habits of childhood. In fact Miss Alice and even Neil himself had hinted to her that her beliefs could have been more from habit than conviction.

It had angered her both times, who were they to judge her and her convictions? But now she could not help but wonder if they had been right.

Suddenly she wished that she could return to her childhood and the simplicity of it, not to mention the fact that she had been craving a hot fudge sundae for a week now, she grinned.

"A penny for your thoughts, Lass" Neil said softy.

"I was just thinking how much I want a hot fudge sundae." She replied evasively.

The doctor threw back his head and laughed "Christy, you are one of the most unexpected girls I have ever met!"

She could not help but laugh as well, his laughter was contagious, "Why, what ever do you mean?"

"There you are, sitting there looking as if you are thinking deep and profound thoughts, and all you have on your mind is ice-cream!"

She could not help but tease him, "Ice cream is a very serious thing to me, especially when it is this hot!"

He turned to her with a grin that died down when he looked fully at her, "Christy, there is something else isn't there?"

She looked away and sighed, suddenly she felt his large hand clasp hers, a tingling feeling shot up her arm.

He leaned a bit closer, "You know you can talk to me if you would like, we are friends and that is what friends are for."

She looked at him, "Thank you Neil, yes, we are friends, thank you for your support."

The sat still for a moment then Christy quickly removed her hand back to her lap.

There was a bird calling in the distance, and a slight smoky smell drifted to them from a cabin or the mission.

The doctor was staring out at the pond smoking when Christy abruptly wheeled around to face him.

"I am just so confused, I don't feel in touch with God anymore, I am not sure what I am doing here, or why I am here, I feel so tired all of the time now, and I know I should not be tired, because I am here to help others, but it has seemed lately as if it is give, give, give, and never any time to rest or enjoy myself. It would not be so bad but I can not really see where I have made a difference, I feel as if I have given so much of myself, but nothing is ever accomplished. Nothing ever changes no matter how hard I try. I know that I am a horrible person for feeling this way but I do, and I hate it, it is so unsettling to not be sure of Christianity or if God cares for me, or even lately I have wondered if he is there at all, maybe he is nothing but a polite fiction we delude ourselves into believing. There is just so much heart-ache and suffering and I can't help, it seems as if everything I try and do is the wrong thing, of it just does not do any good at all. And I, I, I...

It seems as if those who profess him the most act it ,truly act it, the least, but then maybe I am being too judgmental about it, I don't know anymore, I am so confused, I get up to pray in the morning and I feel nothing but resentment at the waste of my time, David prays and it is just sounds, even Miss Alice seems somehow remote, when she speaks about him, nothing about religion seems real any more, and I don't know what to do or what is wrong with me!"

Neil had given a slight jump when she so suddenly blurted out what was going on, then for the rest of the tirade he just sat there smoking on his pipe and listening to her vent. When she stopped for breath he inhaled deeply and let it out slowly, still staring away over the water.

"So that is what has been troubling you?" he asked quietly

She nodded, expecting to hear him start exulting over her 'coming to her senses' but he continued to sit there and look out over the water, not saying anything.

"Well? Say something!" she laughed nervously, "Tell me how you were right all along, I was deluding myself,and being a Goody Two Shoes."

Neil smiled softly to himself, "No, I would never do that, regardless of my personal beliefs. I can see you are in pain and confused, I am sorry for that. But Christy; are you feeling as if your God has abandoned you, or his people?

As for being tired, it would not be unnatural for anyone out here doing what you do to feel fatigue, don't overlook the fact that it could be stress that is coloring you perceptions."

She looked at him in astonishment, "Why Doctor, are you defending Christianity?!"

He laughed, "No, nothing I said could be taken that way, Christy, I just want to help you find your way back to yourself, and most of that can be accomplished by getting more rest and not overworking yourself, which is what I will report to the good preacher as soon as I see him. And Christy?" She turned and looked at him, he reached out and took her hand for a moment.

"Do not forget, these mountains and people have been here for a long, long, time. Change does not come quickly here, if it does come at all. It comes slowly, like spring stealing over the mountains. One day it just is there but you can not point point an exact time it arrived."

Christy nodded in gratitude,He did have a point, but sometimes it was so hard to be patient and let things take their course.

Christy rose to her feet, it was time to go back to the mission and help with dinner. With old world courtesy MacNeil rose as she stood. She turned to him on an impulse "Would you care to join us for dinner?"He tilted his head and studied her. Then to her surprise he seemed to consider it for a moment.

"Well, that would depend on who is cooking tonight." She smiled as she replied,

"Ruby Mae."

"Ah, well, no offense I hope, but I think I will just go to my own cabin and cook up something edible!"

Christy choked a laugh headed toward the mission.

Neil's eyes never left her till she disappeared from his view, a slight frown creased his brow.